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Mar 26 · 98
I Fiori Dentro di Me
relahxe Mar 26
Accarezza le mie guance,
come fai sbocciare i fiori.
Essi si aprono per te e
svelano i loro segreti.
Ti fanno tremare.

Accarezza le mie guance
come la brezza
accarezza ogni albero
e le foglie su di esso.

Invece, il vento della tua anima
fa cadere gli alberi,
distrugge i giardini
e i fiori dentro di me.
relahxe Mar 25
Quando sono sola
e non riesco a pensare,
m'immergo nell'idea di te.
Nuoto finché
non riesco più a respirare.
Non riesco ad amare,
non riesco ad aprire i tuoi occhi.
Nuoto finché
non trovo il coraggio
di dirti che vuoi volare
ma io voglio soltanto nuotare.
relahxe Mar 8
A car in the distance

the fridge making some noises all night

me, myself and I

someone showering and I could hear the water

I am closing my eyes

all the sounds there are

yet nothing can stop me

nothing can save me from feeling

It is as if someone’s squeezing my heart

(a buzzing sound the source of which I do not know)

My heart is squeezed yet my mind keeps on going

convincing my whole being that nothing’s wrong

How can I function when I know the sun precedes

the darkness of the night

My laughter and smiles

are there until they’re not

How do I go on knowing no one

will come and save me

and to have the courage to trust myself

with the most important task in life:

to find meaning and peace

now, and no later

here, and not there

within me, and not with others

while my heart is beating

and the fridge is running

and the water’s flowing

I am here, and I am safe

Safe, within myself

And no one else
Mar 8 · 60
A faucet and a drop
relahxe Mar 8
When the last drop goes through the sink

and you are left with nothing but your own

way of producing liquid

Liquid that’s an expression of all the pain

all the trauma

you have been suppressing

The trauma that resurfaces every time

a drop forms at the bottom of the faucet

and falls down

down deeper and deeper

through the pipes

and the other parts

all of the parts of the sink

I don’t know

and never will

when the drop falls through

and you know all is left is you

when you look down, deep down

you wish you could wash your face with the *****

muddy water in the sink

that you deserve

How dare you shed a tear

that would drop in the sink

and stain all the rest

innocent drops that became one

One whole

something you never could do

How dare you be superior

superior to a drop that formed

at the bottom of the faucet.
Feb 24 · 860
I can't love you
relahxe Feb 24
When you open your heart to someone new
You give them your all
Then it subdues
When you hope it will change
And the night will be bright
When you fear they’ll run away
And they stay by your side
When you know that they love you
But you can’t love them back
That is all I know of life
And I would want to retract
Feb 24 · 1.7k
I shall die
relahxe Feb 24
The only certain thing in life
Is that the sun will rise and shine
The bees would fly around and grasp
Whatever they could find at last
The moon will shine as well tonight
And all the stars as diamonds bright
I shall tell you one thing only:
The only certain thing in life
Is that you will live
And you shall die.
Jan 13 · 895
Watery grave
relahxe Jan 13
Lost in reverie
Crying - a natural response
to undeserved love
"Soulful abysses"
Haiku (4)
Nov 2022 · 1.0k
Born & Exhumed
relahxe Nov 2022
The night I spoke a charm and you collapsed,
The seas were burning bright to seize the storm.
My love was thrown into the ground of lust;
It was exhumed as soon as it was born.

The boomerang came back and hit my face;
Went all around, and saw the street of darkness.
It has become a sort of race and chase,
In which the only one to judge is Madness.

I threw it back again in hopes of change;
The wind blew back and forth but never Right.
As blue skies grew into a twisted cage,
The vicious cycle left its mark tonight.

And months pass by, so I am here to heal,
By writing on this sheet as true as steel.
Oct 2022 · 718
relahxe Oct 2022
Moonlight sneaks through the crevice of her sorrow

"It's all a lie
Love cannot die
He'll come back tomorrow"
Oct 2020 · 971
Fly away
relahxe Oct 2020
𝘖𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴,
𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦?
𝘞𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘰𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴,
𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘦?
𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘹 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥
𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥?
𝘖𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩
𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘺𝘦,
𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳,
𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥

𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳,
𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘥𝘰?
𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵
𝘍𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶
Sep 2020 · 1.9k
When I think of you
relahxe Sep 2020
When I look at the moon I don't see it as light in the darkness
I observe a land unexplored

When I see the stars I don't gasp at their beauty
I frown upon the fact that I can't reach them

When I think of you I don't smile lovingly
I flinch in pain of what could be but never will
Jul 2020 · 901
relahxe Jul 2020
I choose to love you in silence…
For in silence I find no rejection,
I choose to love you in loneliness…
For in loneliness no one owns you but me,
I choose to adore you from a distance…
For distance will shield me from pain,
I choose to kiss you in the wind…
For the wind is gentler than my lips,
I choose to hold you in my dreams…
For in my dreams, you have no end.
A quote by Rumi
Jul 2020 · 61
relahxe Jul 2020
Amidst all the volatility
my love for you is the only constant.
Jul 2020 · 45
Silent love
relahxe Jul 2020
To learn how to miss you without wanting you

To learn how to love you without needing you

To learn how to hug you within my mind's confines

would take all the time in the world
     all the effort I could put
           all the tears my eyes could produce

To learn how to love in silence
and pretend that's not the case.
Jul 2020 · 1.3k
If only
relahxe Jul 2020
Seeing you for the first time -
you fill me with warmth and affection,
those I pushed away when all was surreal

Meeting you for the first time -
you have a magic wand
and scare away the dragon that instilled my fears

Hugging you for the first time -
you show me the pond
that could easily overflow with all my tears

Us becoming one undermines all our doubts

Your kiss is a drop of water
in my dehydrated mouth

Your hug is the warmth I need
in the icy months of despair

You were supposed to be here now
Our hands intertwined

If only
If only you had dared to love me
Apr 2020 · 160
On Parting
relahxe Apr 2020
To my wife

Sometimes I will come to you in your dreams
as unexpected and uninvited guest.
Do not leave me outside in the street -
do not block up the doors.

I'll enter quietly, sit down softly,
and gaze upon you in the dark.
When my eyes have gazed their fill -
I'll kiss you and depart.
A poem by the Bulgarian author Nikola Vaptsarov. Nikola wrote this poem under arrest. He was sentenced to death and shot down three months later.
Apr 2020 · 167
I woke up
relahxe Apr 2020
I was sinking in the cloud
searching for you
The birds were chirping
Wait, could it subdue?

I glimpsed you once or twice
in all your glory
I was sure it was love -
like a happy ending story

You poured on warmth on me
Wrapped me up with affection
Us lying, you made the confession

We danced all night
and told our stories

I woke up falling
Hit the ground
It hurt a lot, but I stood up

I saw you there,
at the end of the street
it seemed you had fallen
even harder than me

I approached you slowly,
fixed you with a gaze
I tried to touch you,
but you ran away
Mar 2020 · 67
relahxe Mar 2020
All I crave is warmth,
but you're revolted by my
lone frostbitten heart.
"Soulful abysses"
Haiku (3)
Feb 2020 · 164
relahxe Feb 2020
I look up - ten stars
Every night they shine for me,
glued on the ceiling.
"Soulful abysses"
Haiku (2)
Feb 2020 · 160
relahxe Feb 2020
A poppy candle -
Its wick has been expecting
The scorching outcome.
"Soulful abysses"
Haiku (1)
Feb 2020 · 122
The Morning That Was Blue
relahxe Feb 2020
The morning was blue.
Maybe it was the room.
A will to resume overcome by what looms.
A feeling.
It's no use, the sun knows we're fading.
And trading pain for distraction.
A bail out.

But beneath the cancerous commerce lives the unfelt,
the un-dealt with speculation: that my vessel is a flawed innovation;
that frightened children may have found a moment's passion
and left us with moods as fickle as fashion.
These tangled wires clash and blur the line
between my mind and fine,
So unless we redefine unrefined, life will continue in kind
as long as my time in this queue to resign.

Then, as my life hangs it’s warped canvas
on a world of new advancements
awakened in me: the chance it’s… just us.

A planet that's born afraid. Sold lemonade,
and not shown how it's made.
Crawling wave after wave, and gasping "be brave!"
If they saw us all frayed, with pounding hearts swaying to the drum of the wave.
If they saw it this way, maybe the brave would have stayed.

The morning was blue, but I heard it can change
We’re only human, after all—manmade.
Moulding and shaping a future to paint
Imagine what shades we could see if we wait.

This morning was blue, but the afternoon was purple.
A shade I have never seen.
Made me not want to blink, and I think you'd like it more.
The lore was true, it does get brighter than the morning that was blue.
A poem by Kassima, CloudyApples -
Feb 2020 · 344
One day
relahxe Feb 2020
One day I shall see a snowflake
and identify with its purity

One day I shall smell a candle
and let it fully fill my lungs

One day I shall listen to the rain
and feel it pouring down my soul

One day I shall sip my tea
and enjoy every gulp of it

One day I shall watch the stars
and see myself running with them

One day I shall look in the mirror
and recognise a beauty previously covert

One day I shall inhale deeply
and exhale as if for the last time

One day I shall close my eyes
happy with the person I've become

One day I'll love myself
just as much as I deserve to

One day.
Feb 2020 · 106
relahxe Feb 2020
Gliding on the surface
Of this frozen reservoir

I pick a stone and throw it
Waiting for a breakage

Did I hear a crack out there
Or maybe it came from the inside?

Could the ice break?
How warm is the water?

I heard it's colder
The deeper you go

Two stones are in my hands
I've never felt as powerful
Being all alone

Knowing death is watching
Waiting to be summoned

If I fell in the water
Would you come save me?

If the ice cracked
Would you feel relieved?

Jumping on the surface
Screaming at the world

I pick a stone and throw it
I hear a crack again
Feb 2020 · 88
The power of my breath
relahxe Feb 2020
No matter how strong the wind
Blowing in my face is
It could never convert my exhale
Into an inhale
Jan 2020 · 201
Frozen hearth
relahxe Jan 2020
I can't possibly judge you
That you left me in a trice
From your hands cold to the touch
to your heart - a ball of ice

Yours collided with the warmth of mine
It gradually took a different shape
You said I robbed and left your soul
but it was yours that melted

I held the ice for far too long
My hands became too numb
They had to cope with all the cold
you always brought along

One may say the ice just vanished
I may argue it fused with my skin
From there it went through my whole body
and now I have it always in me

I loved you a little too much
And held you for a little too long
Why does it hurt so much
when you left me all on my own?

It hurts not because I miss you
That episode is long-forgotten
It hurts because you rendered me
just as you are

It hurts because whenever I go
I see you in myself
The ice is still in my blood,
my bones, my neck and veins

I know that somewhere, in the deep
There's still a source of love and warmth
It's my sanctuary, my hearth and outset
And I'll find my way back there
Dec 2019 · 269
relahxe Dec 2019
I imagine our bodies lying down
our ears desperately trying to stay awake
so that they could hear the crickets
and enjoy the creek's burble

My eyes told yours "Look, there are tulips nearby"
Your feet are extending to enter the water
There is a drop of sweat on your forehead

My tongue tastes the red apple,
Your mouth once told me it
prefers yellow ones

My mind starts counting how many
red tulips my eyes see, how many yellow ones they perceive
My soul wonders what yours is up to
Does your mind come up with
this scenery
every time
you try to
fall asleep?
Maybe it's just me.

The sun is smiling on a beautiful spring day
We are alone, swimming in serenity
Our hands are intertwined,
our souls longing for the same fate
I'm infatuated with how my eyes see you through my mind's prism
With the picture they create of you.

I surrender to their imagination - their strength, a weakness in disguise.
I let them mold you, destroy and recreate you.
I know it's all they'll ever see.
Nov 2019 · 370
When I Am Among the Trees
relahxe Nov 2019
When I am among the trees,
    especially the willows and the honey locust,
    equally the beech, the oaks, and the pines,
    they give off such hints of gladness.

    I would almost say that they save me, and daily.
    I am so distant from the hope of myself,
    in which I have goodness, and discernment,
    and never hurry through the world
    but walk slowly, and bow often.

    Around me the trees stir in their leaves
    and call out, “Stay awhile.”
    The light flows from their branches.

    And they call again, “It’s simple,”
    they say, “and you, too, have come
    into the world to do this, to go easy,
    to be filled with light, and to shine.”
A poem by Mary Oliver
Oct 2019 · 137
Dear, ...
relahxe Oct 2019
Sometimes I wonder whether will-power is all
that I need in my life in order to feel whole.

If I learn to never follow my instincts
and rather rely on my rational thinking,
will I feel better, will I feel whole
when I scrape off joviality from the edges of my soul?

Won't I feel bitter, won't I feel low
that I have not smiled sincerely since ages ago?

Is everyone capable of experiencing love
or is this what is said by the Man from above?

Aren't we all delusional enough
to blame God and religion that our lives are so tough?

Are we blind for the realization
that all of us are a creation,
perfectly fallible and right, but often wrong,
yet much like a rhythmic sensation in a song?

Why are we rude and envious of others
when we all should behave just like we're brothers?

Everyone is suffering under the rain
perpetually waiting for the arrival of a plane;
a plane that could carry them to another dimension
but we all know that's just an absurd pretension.

Life does fly by and it's a well-known fact,
yet few can even maintain an eye contact
with that beautiful woman or that handsome man,
standing at the corner of the room with no plan.

Life does fly by and it's a well-know fact,
yet it's just an idea, so abstract
as not to even make an impression,
leaving us deal with our own depression.

Life does fly by, yet that woman can't leave
the man she has married, the man that would deceive.
She's lying to herself that it's all for the better,
swaying down the tree's branch just like a feather.

So, don’t be so anxious, so scared and insincere;
Life is indeed too short for that, dear...
Jun 2019 · 458
Two lovely eyes
relahxe Jun 2019
Two lovely eyes. The spirit of a child
        in two lovely eyes; — music — rays
        They don't want anything and they don't vow…
        My soul is praying,
        my soul is praying!
The passions and the woes
        will cast tomorrow over them
the veil of sin and shame.
The veil of sin and shame —
        won't cast tomorrow over them
the passions and the woes..
        My soul is praying,
        my soul is praying…
        They don't want anything and they don't vow! —
        Two lovely eyes. Music, rays
        in two lovely eyes. The spirit of a child…
A translated poem by the Bulgarian symbolist poet and revolutionary Peyo Yavorov, the so called "singer of the soulful abysses".

This is actually a love poem and the child is his beloved one Mina, a 16-year-old girl. Peyo Yavorov wrote it when he was 28.
Jun 2019 · 1.5k
Two souls
relahxe Jun 2019
I do not live: I burn. In acrimony raging
Two souls are dueling within my breast:
The soul of a devil, the soul of an angel.
Their breathing is flame and it gives me no rest.

Not one flame bursts but two - whatever I am touching,
And in each stone two heartbeats I hear clash…
Wherever I go there is an odious doubling
Of two warring faces, which vanish in ash.

And everywhere the wind that follows me is spreading
The ashes: all my footprints are effaced.
For I am not living - I burn! - and am shedding
A trail of grey ashes across a dim waste.
A translated poem by the Bulgarian symbolist poet and revolutionary Peyo Yavorov, the so called "singer of the soulful abysses", about the eternal bifurcation of the soul.
Translation by Peter Tempest.
Mar 2019 · 232
I hugged a tree today
relahxe Mar 2019
I hugged a tree today
In a cozy little forest nearby
I felt the warmth wrapping me up
Like a present of the longed-for kind
Children tremble upon opening

I hugged a tree today
That, some may find rare
Indeed there was this guy
Passing by
I smiled mildly,
I bet he's still wondering

I hugged a tree today
The lividness left me
In the company of my tree
A company so cordial
Just complete tranquillity

I hugged a tree today
I don't know of the vibrations
Thought to exist within
But I do know of mine
Running down my spine

I let go of the tree
Departure time has come, it seems
All I needed was for you to be
Always there for me
Mar 2019 · 522
A birdie
relahxe Mar 2019
I see what others can't
I hear it all distorted
The chirping of the birds
Is the demon howling
Inside of me
Mar 2019 · 85
relahxe Mar 2019
I loved that you didn´t
Care about me
Or my mistakes
Or my disease

I loved that you didn´t
Seem to pretend
That you were more
Than simply a friend

I loved that you were
As deadly as fire
And the only one
That I´d ever desire

I loved your excuses
So perfectly made-up

I loved you were hurting
When I finally gave up
Mar 2019 · 214
"I'm heartbroken"
relahxe Mar 2019
So many poets write about their despair
Of not being loved back

"I'm so sad", they say
But at least they know what love is,
They've experienced the feeling
They've been caring,
And giving.

Do they know what I´d give
To love like they do...

"I'm heartbroken", they add
But do they know what it is
Not to have a heart that could be broken?

— The End —