Which do I choose?
When given the choice of either:
A bullet to the head
Or a knife to the heart
How do I choose?
When I know the result from either:
Will be the end of me,
As well as impossible to recover from
Why do I choose?
How did I get myself into this. either:
From being in a state of limerence
Or finally finding someone who appreciates me
What do I choose?
I need to make the choose and either:
Use my brain, take the knife and perish
Or follow my heart, take the bullet and be in forever pain
Was I blinded by happiness that I couldn't see?
The fear, the doubt that was bubbling inside of you.
Perhaps, my mind blocked my sight, wanting to make me happy.
Oh, foolish mind.
How I wish you could have let me see.
The pain now left flowing through my body isn' worth the two seconds of bliss.
and wistful sighs
cherry blossom petals
twirling amidst the skies
and starry constellations
and secret frustrations
incandescent candles burn
as if awaiting your return
anguish and lingering despair
heartbreak and hollow emptiness
caused by unforsaken pettiness
merely the potential difference
between requited love
and bittersweet limerence
i can hear the misery
of the poets, artists, and kings
of the ages we wasn't born in,
screaming in agony
as they never had the chance
to write about,
the finest masterpiece
that is you,
my biggest dream,
my dead star wish,
you are the poison that intoxicates
my veins and i couldn't ask
for anything more.
i have always told myself
not to fall in love with the moment,
moments will fade away
they will burn at the back of my head
but i saw him standing there
with his palm out
for me and only me
as the love-infused music about
fools falling in love
flowed flawlessly around us
that's where i did it.
i fell in love with not only the moment,
i fell in love with the flowers in his mouth
i fell in love with him.
When my eyes first fixed upon him
my bones began to break
my heart began to ache
And as it slipped down to my stomach
the ground began to shake
But I don't even know his name
nope, don't even know his name
but every time I catch a glimpse
I always feel the same
Too many days I felt like
I couldn't even breathe
but a voice I've never heard before
buries me beneath
Below the surface of a fallacy
a fantasy, a stupid girl's dream
I can't begin to believe
that anything I wish for could ever happen to me
I feel so fucking weary
paranoid and dreary
Too many days I've spent just thinking about him near me
Why do I even bother?
What's even the point?
to pine after some boy who's probably smoking a joint
"A quick temper." A friend tells me
"A cheater," he says
but I can't believe anything other than what goes on in my head
my mind's screaming like a banshee
just thinking of what he could be
Thinking about that day when he first fixed his eyes upon me.