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Feb 2017 · 422
Deeper (15w)
elizabeth Feb 2017
She sank deeper
         And deeper
               And deeper
                     Into the abyss
                          Of her poor, dark mind.
February 20, 2017.
Feb 2017 · 1.1k
Playtime
elizabeth Feb 2017
Loud voices in
My head;
Whisperings 'neath
My bed.
The monsters have come out
To play;
Please, let this darkness turn
To day.
February 20, 2017.
Feb 2017 · 1.2k
Old Friends (senryuu)
elizabeth Feb 2017
I cannot even
Begin to tell you how much
I've missed our friendship.
February 19, 2017.
I recently contacted a friend I haven't spoken to in a long time, and we ended up talking until 2am last night. I've missed him and his friendship so much, and I honestly hope I don't lose him again.
Feb 2017 · 880
Nokia
elizabeth Feb 2017
Writing is my outlet,
My emotions are the charger.
I am an old Nokia.
I have endured pain
And hardships in life.
I have watched everyone
Else advance while I am
Left behind.
Everyone remembers me,
But no one really cares anymore.
Everyone knows who I am,
But no one wants me.
I'm no longer good enough.
February 18, 2017.
Late night tonight. Can't really sleep. These are the weird thoughts that run through my head. Maybe instead of watching YouTube late at night when I can't sleep, I'll post poetry and read it the next day.... And then take it down because it's probably weird as ****.
Anyways, goodnight all. Sweet dreams.
Feb 2017 · 285
1:07am EST
elizabeth Feb 2017
Late night thoughts
Of someone who isn't you.
Am I moving on, I wonder?
February 18, 2017.
elizabeth Feb 2017
Breaking down crying
For the third ******* time in
Three days. Please help me.
February 17, 2017.
elizabeth Feb 2017
Sloshing Tears Because of Dear Friends
My tears are sloshing
For a different reason now.
Sweet Star is leaving.

Happy Thoughts
I'll miss your poems,
Sweet words and kind friendship, dear.
Sending happy thoughts.

Our Time
Please don't forget me.
I hope years down the road, you'll
Remember our time.

Believe In Yourself
Have fun in your life,
Don't forget to believe in
Yourself, dearest Kev.

Bright Days, Darker Nights
You've made my days so
Much brighter and I'm saddened
Now by dark nights..
(without you)





*
You'll always have a special place in my heart. Best of wishes to you and your writing. Goodbye, my dear friend.
February 14, 2017.
I will miss your writing and kind friendship. Hopefully I'll see you soon on the front page of a writing magazine and smile proudly at you because you did it; you chased and caught your dream. You touched my heart and helped me to know that not everyone has bad intentions. Please know you always have a friend when needed.
Your friend, Liz.
elizabeth Feb 2017
My body is your
Instrument; so please, play the
Music of my soul.
February 11, 2017.
elizabeth Feb 2017
This holiday...
This delightfully cheerful,
Wonderfully happy,
Endlessly beautiful holiday,
Is also so terribly lonely.
Every year I spend it alone,
No Valentine to give my heart to,
And no Valentine gives me their's.
I'm happy for those who
Have found love and
Have Valentines,
But I can't help but feel
So lonely and sad on this day.
Because the cute couples,
The sweet letters,
Kind gifts,
And warm cuddling
Just reminds me that
I can't have the one I want.
February 9, 2017.
Feb 2017 · 502
Worse
elizabeth Feb 2017
Angry tears stream down
My face as I fight to control
My demons, my thoughts,
And my body.
Because all I want to do
Is just slam a fist into the wall
And curse the world.
But I can't do that.
I mustn't make things worse.
January 31, 2017
Feb 2017 · 725
Remembering (revised)
elizabeth Feb 2017
Remembering the songs
I hummed as a small child
Remembering the innocence
Of my mind as a small child
Remembering the joy
Imbedded into my heart as a small child
Remembering the love
I believed in as a small child
Remembering the stories
That took me away as a small child
Remembering everything
That I was as a small child
Reminds me of everything
That I'm not as a young woman.
January 31, 2017.
I revised this poem after I got some feedback from a wonderful young lady named Hannah who runs a blog called "2B or Not 2B: Creative Writing Tips and Tricks. Please check it out, it really is a wonderful blog. (P.s. I won this month's poetry contest with this revised version of "Remembering"!)
elizabeth Jan 2017
I talk to myself;
It scares me how much I do...
Maybe I need help.
January 7, 2017.
I talk to myself a lot, and imagine whole scenarios and conversations. Is that normal? I do it a lot when I'm alone. And the more I talk, the faster my mind races. The faster my mind races, the faster I talk, and so on and so forth. It scares me a bit..
Jan 2017 · 903
Sometimes I Wish You Would
elizabeth Jan 2017
Sometimes I wish you would
Hit me and kick me,
Make me beg for mercy,
And torture me forever.

Sometimes I wish you would
Beat me until I'm numb,
Make me cry out,
Cut me until I can't bleed anymore...

Sometimes I wish you would
Use my body,
Give me everything I deserve,
And tear me apart...

Sometimes I wish you would
Just throw me through a wall,
Break every bone,
Make my tears stream into my wounds...

Because that would be
So much easier than
Sitting here and
Watching you be with her.
January 7, 2017.
elizabeth Jan 2017
Discrediting me,
"You don't know what you're saying."
Let me prove you wrong.
January 3, 2017.
You can try and say I don't know what I'm talking about, but in the end you will look like a fool as I prove you wrong.
elizabeth Jan 2017
Sweating, hurting;
I've been working all day.
Lifting, heaving;
I don't mind, I'm strong.
Chopping, gripping;
I can take it, the pain is nothing.
Carrying, moving;
My mind starts wandering.
Raising, digging;
I say "I'm so tired..."
Pushing, straining;
Isn't that how you feel every day?
Shaking, holding;
It's cutting into my hands.
Don't deny it. You know you want to quit.
Kneeling, struggling;
Just let it go, you'll feel so much better.
Trembling, groaning;
Drop it, **** it! Let it crush you!
Seizing, hoisting;
I will not.
Hefting, bearing;
Yes, you will. Let the weight crush you NOW!
Shoving, throwing;
No! You can't do that! That's not fair-
Falling, relaxing;
I'm so tired, but now I can rest peacefully.
Sleeping, dreaming;
I've thrown my past away.
January 2, 2017.
My first poem of the year. Woohoo!
The bold, italic words are the personification of my demons.
Jan 2017 · 695
Your Words
elizabeth Jan 2017
Reading through your beautiful words,
My tears begin to fall.
Sloppy, wet, all over my desk;
I'd never let anyone see me this way.
Because when I'm like this,
There isn't anything you can do.
I'm feeling too much at this point,
And you may as well just leave me alone.

Reading your lovely words,
My tears are now streaming.
Drenched, sopping, my shirt is soaked;
I'd never let anyone see me this way.
Because when I'm like this,
Even I can't do anything.
I'm overwhelmed at this point,
And I may as well not even try to stop.

Reading your sweet words,
My tears are pouring down.
Flooded, sloshing, my room is filled.
I'd never let anyone see me this way.
Because when I'm like this,
I can't breathe, and my head spins.
I'm falling in love with every word,
And I may as well keep reading.
December 31, 2016.
I've fallen in love with every single one of your poems. Please never stop writing, Star.
Jan 2017 · 3.0k
I Wish I Knew...
elizabeth Jan 2017
I wish I knew
How not to be sad.
How not to be angry,
And how not to feel pain.

I wish I knew
How to be happy.
How to enjoy life,
And how to leave the past behind.

I wish I knew
How to trust.
How to love myself,
And how to forget the harm.

I wish I knew
How to open up.
How to fight the dark,
And how to get rid of anger.

I wish I knew that
Not everyone is nice.
Not everyone wants to be friends,
And not everyone is kind.

I wish I knew that
Not all things are free.
Not all love is real,
And not all hope is true.

I wish I knew that
Not everything is joyful.
Not everything is beautiful,
And not everything is light.

I wish I knew that
Memories don't fade.
That words sting,
And scar for life.

I wish I knew
That my skies wouldn't clear.
That my demons would win,
And that I would give in to the darkness.
December 31, 2016.
Jan 2017 · 913
My Doll-Face Hides My Pain
elizabeth Jan 2017
Someone please, help me.
I'm in little broken pieces
On the ground.
Like a doll,
Angrily thrown by
A grieving mother;
A mother that lost her little girl.
I am that little girl, I suppose.
In some form or another,
My mother has lost me;
So has my father,
And my sisters and friends.
They don't know where
The happy, lovely me went.
I've been replaced by pain,
Depression, and dark thoughts.
I wear a painted face,
Just like a doll,
That hides my pain and sorrow.
I don't want them disappointed
In the new me;
The one that has consumed
All of the good and love,
And replaced it with harm and anger.
Someone please, I'm begging you.
Shatter me against the wall.
Make me the target,
Because I deserve it.
December 31, 2016.
elizabeth Jan 2017
My new love is gone.
Sadness and darkness are here.
I am alone now.
December 31, 2016.
elizabeth Jan 2017
Another year is gone,
Not feeling as strong.

Another year goes by,
Makes me want to cry.

Another year I'm bereft
Of everything left.

Another year I say:
*Take my pain away...
December 31, 2016.
Dec 2016 · 825
Sweet, Beautiful Words
elizabeth Dec 2016
Hearing words of kindness
From a stranger, a new friend,
(Or anyone for that matter)
Is a rarity these days.
I only bring pain
And disappointment,
Or at least, it seems that way.
But to hear sweet, beautiful words
From a newfound friend
It makes my heart flutter
And fills my somber mind
With joyful, blissful thoughts.
December 23, 2016.
To my newfound friend. May your days be as lovely as your words and writings.
elizabeth Dec 2016
Please forgive me, Star.
I seem to have spammed you with
Notifications.
December 22, 2016.
I may have gone a little "like" and "share" crazy with Star Gazer's work. Sorry not sorry.
Dec 2016 · 914
My Demons Speak To Me
elizabeth Dec 2016
Why don't you just die?
No. Stop it.
Why don't you **** yourself?
Stop. Now.
You're nothing but a *****.
No, I'm not. Stop it.
They don't love you.
Yes, they do. Shut up.
He doesn't want you.
Yes, he does. He said he did. Stop.
Slit your wrist, *****.
Stop it. Don't say that.
Nobody cares about you.
Yes, they do! Stop saying these things!
Just grab the gun...
No, I won't!
Put a bullet through you stupid brain.
No. I won't. I can't.
You coward. You're nothing but a ****.
I am not... Stop, please...
You deserved to have that man use you.
No, stop it.. Please...
You stupid *****, no one loves you.
Please... I'm begging you...
That's right. Go cry, stupid *****.
I'm sorry...
You should be, ****.
I'm so sorry...
Stop saying that, you'll never be forgiven.
I'm so terribly sorry...
Why do you keep saying-
BANG!
Wh-what happened?
Silence.
Hello? You there?
Silence.
Wait! You can't go!
What about your friends and family?
Your boyfriend?
Your future was so bright,
But... But I darkened it.
Myself and the other demons...
We killed you.
We harmed you.
We brought you pain.
It's all our fault.
And now it's too late
To even say that we're sorry...
We're so sorry...
I'm so sorry...
Goodbye, Liza.
December 22, 2016.
Had an idea to personify my thoughts/demons, and show a conversation of sorts. I'm not going to **** myself, but I do have thoughts such as these.
elizabeth Dec 2016
"You think you can,
But you just can't, Nemo!"

You're right.
I can't. I can't do anything.
So goodbye, Dad.
I'm leaving. Forever.
I'll see you
Wherever fish go
When they die.
December 21, 2016
elizabeth Dec 2016
Colors, beauty, and hope.
Wonder, love, and light.
Life, songs, and joy.
These are all things
You will find in
My Terribly Beautiful Mind.
The most intricate stories,
Wonderful songs,
The happiest memories.
All these things you will find
In My Terribly Beautiful Mind.

However.
There is a darker side.

Loneliness, death, and pain.
Hatred, insecurities, and sorrow.
Darkness, shame, and harm.
These are all things
You will find in
The Beautifully Terrible Thoughts.
The most descriptive methods of suicide,
Horrible pain,
The saddest of cries.
All these things you will find
In the Beautifully Terrible Thoughts
That are a part of me.
December 21, 2016.
Dec 2016 · 2.0k
Pain and Hope (short poem)
elizabeth Dec 2016
"Pain is real,
But so is hope."
This is a wonderful
Little quote.
Except,*
I only seem
To feel pain
When I hope.
December 21, 2016
Dec 2016 · 292
Missing You (10w)
elizabeth Dec 2016
I wonder...
Do you miss me,
My dearest love?
December 21, 2016.
Dec 2016 · 522
Teenage Boys
elizabeth Dec 2016
Teenage boys staring,
Thinking ***** thoughts.
Teenage me wishing
They would just go away.

A picture of me
In a dress now ruined,
Because of their
Disgusting thoughts.

"You wish she
Was taking it off,
Don't you?"

They asked my friend.

"You wish you
Were in getting that
Dress, don't you?"

They asked him again.

I was angry,
Hurt, and humiliated.
I took it out
On my family.

My parents became
Angry and upset
With me and my
Friendship paid the price.

No longer allowed
To speak to him,
See him,
Or be friends.

That was the
Price of teenage boys
Sexualizing an innocent
Photo of a broken girl.
December 21, 2016
Dec 2016 · 682
Remembering
elizabeth Dec 2016
Remembering the songs
I sang as a small child.
Remembering the innocence
I had as a small child.
Remembering the joy
In my heart as a small child.
Remembering the love
I felt as a small child.
Remembering the stories
That took me away as a small child.
Remembering everything
I was as a small child
Reminds me of everything
That I'm not now as a young woman.
December 21, 2016.
Dec 2016 · 271
New Love (senryuu)
elizabeth Dec 2016
New love brings new life;
New life brings new light in the
Darkest of places.
December 21, 2016.
Dec 2016 · 441
Mind and Thoughts
elizabeth Dec 2016
My mind is too full of my thoughts...

                                      Sinking deeper into the abyss.
                             My thoughts swallow me up and then
                         I am consumed by the everlasting darkness.
                      Liarwhoreawfulbitchslutfailure­paincrysadness
                      Notenoughidiotdisappointment­terriblepathetic
                      Dieleavesuicideweakcuthurt­unwanteduglydumb
                       Alonebrokendepresseddarkevilcoldunhappy
                         Cryingstupidnothingharmbloodanger

                           I am sinking deeper into
                           The death of my
                           Terrible
                           Mind.
December 2, 2016
Nov 2016 · 1.9k
Falling
elizabeth Nov 2016
I'm falling down,
                        down,
                             down;
                                And I know not where.
                                  All I know is that
                                     *I'm glad you're here.
November 11, 2016
Nov 2016 · 608
Tears (senryuu)
elizabeth Nov 2016
Let them run freely;
Let the tears mend your broken
Heart, my dearest child.
November 10, 2016
Nov 2016 · 703
Comparison
elizabeth Nov 2016
I'm a dumb blonde,
But she's a beautiful brunette.
I'm the best friend,
But she's the girlfriend.
My face isn't "cute",
But her's is all the time.
I'm constantly cold,
But she has your jacket.
I'm always lonely,
But she has you for company.
I'm vulnerable,
But she's manipulative.
I'm dying inside,
But she's living by your side.
I want to be your girl,
But she already is.
November 8, 2016
Nov 2016 · 821
Holy Sonnet X by John Donne
elizabeth Nov 2016
Original

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so;
For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou **** me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.
Thou’art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy’or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Translation by Liza Ann Marie**

Death, do not be proud. Though some may call you
Mighty and dreadful, you are not that way.
For, those you think you overthrow,
Do not die; Poor Death, you cannot even **** me.
You are like rest and sleep and bring
Much pleasure; and then to you many more flow.
And soon our best men will go with you,
Rest of their bones and soul’s delivery.
You are a slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men;
In poison, war, and sickness you dwell.
Poppies or charms could make us sleep just as well,
And even better than you could; why pride yourself then?
After one short sleep, we awake again eternally
And you will be no more. Death, you will die.
November 8, 2016
The original poem was written by John Donne. I translated it since it was rather difficult to read and I wanted to be able to grasp the full meaning of the poem.
All rights go to the writer of the original poem and its' affiliates.
Nov 2016 · 1.1k
Love
elizabeth Nov 2016
Claiming you love me;
Yet you insult, yell
And emotionally abuse me.
If that's what love is,
Then I want none of it.
November 4, 2016
Thanks, Dad, for all the love.
Oct 2016 · 369
I Depart
elizabeth Oct 2016
Hearing you sing,
Makes my heart flutter.
Hearing you laugh,
Melts me like butter.

Seeing you smile,
Makes me dance around.
Seeing you being goofy,
I laugh 'til I fall on the ground.

Feeling your warmth,
I long for you to hold me.
Feeling your touch,
I long for you to want me.

Watching you turn to her,
Breaks my heart.
Watching you be with her,
Breaks my will and I depart.
October 31, 2016
Oct 2016 · 388
A Fall Dream
elizabeth Oct 2016
The crinkling of leaves;
The colors are so bright.
Your arms are warm;
Please, stay with me tonight.

The smell of your cologne;
Hot cocoa and a warm cookie.
Staring into your eyes;
Wearing your soft hoodie.

The campfire blazes;
You hold me closely.
The moon has risen;
Our cheeks are rosy.

You move a bit closer;
The snow melts around the fire.
I lean in some more;
The night stars inspire.

We close our eyes;
Suddenly feeling shy.
Our lips touch;
I feel like I could fly.

I slowly open my eyes;
It's dark outside.
The fire no more;
"It was a dream." I sighed.
October 30, 2016
Oct 2016 · 786
Something More
elizabeth Oct 2016
I like when you show
That you care,
I really do.
You don't even realize
How happy it makes me
When you defend me,
When you protect me,
When you hug me tightly
Telling me "It's okay."
Even now, I mentioned
I missed talking to you;
You swooped in and
Decided you were going
To make it right.
So now we're talking more.
Once again, my wonderful
Best friend and I
Are enjoying our friendship.
It brings me joy
To hear you laugh,
To see you smile,
To listen to you sing
Melancholy love songs
And songs that we both love.
I just wish that our talks,
Our hugs,
Our games,
Our singing,
Our jokes,
Our songs...
I just wish they would turn
Into something more.
October 29, 2016
I've fallen even deeper into this pool that I've made full of love for you, and I can't get out.
Oct 2016 · 1.2k
Sensitivity
elizabeth Oct 2016
The radio is so loud;
My father's voice sounds
Like thunder.
The car is too squeaky;
The cat meowing sounds
Like an obnoxious alarm.
My own thoughts are too noisy;
My voice sounds
Like waves pounding on the shore.
It's like someone turned my
Sensitivity levels all the way up;
Like some form of torture.
October 21, 2016
Oct 2016 · 622
Insecurities (senryuu)
elizabeth Oct 2016
Insecurities
Will be the death of me..
*Feeding on my mind....
October 20, 2016
Oct 2016 · 760
The Magic of Us
elizabeth Oct 2016
I have a feeling
That if I had said those three words,
You wouldn't have said them back.
And I would be sad;
Because that would mean that the
Magic of us would be over.
October 18, 2016
(5 syllables, 7 syllables, 7 syllables)
Oct 2016 · 1.4k
Depression Has a Hold On Me
elizabeth Oct 2016
It's hard to get along
In life when Depression's
Hold on me is so strong.
Holding me under and
Causing me to drown
In my own thoughts of
Worthlessness, shame,
Pain, harm, death, sadness.
They're overwhelming.
I can't sleep, can't breathe;
It's begun to affect
My relationships;
It's hurt me more times
Than I can count.
It causes other conditions
Like anxiety and OCD;
Which in turn causes
My Dermotillomania
And over-analyzing
Ways of thinking.
I'm so tired of it.
I just want to sleep forever;
Lay in his arms
And just fly away into
A beautiful dream for
All of eternity.
Please, I'm so tired.
Please, I beg you,
Let me have peace and rest.
*I'm...
So....
Tired....
October 14th, 2016
Sep 2016 · 487
The Best of Me
elizabeth Sep 2016
I could end it all;
Right here, right now.
I'm home alone,
And I shouldn't be.
I'm dangerous.
I'm ugly.
I'm stupid.
I'm an addict.
I'm awful.
They shouldn't have left
Me all alone with my thoughts.
Because my thoughts
*May just get the best of me.
September 29, 2016
Sep 2016 · 926
Endless Oblivion
elizabeth Sep 2016
I feel powerless,
Stupid;
Like a *****,
Like a fool.

I feel hopeless,
Helpless;
Like a burden,
Like a disappointment.

I feel awful,
Tired;
Like I want to slip
Away into the endless oblivion.
September 28, 2016
Sep 2016 · 333
Anymore
elizabeth Sep 2016
Sometimes I want to die;
But the saddest part is,
I'm not afraid of those thoughts
Anymore.
September 28, 2016
Sep 2016 · 594
Reflection
elizabeth Sep 2016
"You're a failure."
I cry at her words.
"You're just a stupid *****."
I cry again.
"He doesn't love you."
I nod in agreement.
"You're a mistake."
I nod again.
"You should be punished."
I cut.
"You deserve pain and misery."
I cut again.
"You don't deserve to live."
Silence.
"Finally decided to listen to me?"
Silence again.
"Hello?"
"Are you there?"
"Don't leave me!"
My reflection went quiet.
She cried...
She agreed...
She cut...
And she died because of me.
September 21, 2016
Sep 2016 · 214
Thought
elizabeth Sep 2016
I thought I was done,
I thought it was over;
I thought maybe I had it beat.
I thought I had won,
I thought I got better;
I thought it was gone.
But I guess that, after everything,
*I thought wrong.
September 21, 2016
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