a part of me remember all of that
while a part of you remember only that.

when you're beside me all I think is heaven
and when you're looking at me i'm wishing that it's 11:11.

Don't call him angel, if you never see him sin.
Don't call him treasure, if you don't know anything.
But just call him danger, cause that's what perfectly suits him.

Bruises he hid
Punches he got
Every sunny day was black and grey
No arms that can hold him
So screaming under the water was all he did.

Love wasn't his
But quite,crying and falling was always in him
So fragile
So innocent
So sweet yet bitterness surrounded him.

"Help!" He shouted
But the slap,the fire and the redness
was way louder until nobody dare to listen.
He wished he could become a man
But he was just living in a can of beer
And he already surrounded by fear
So he took one last step
He jumped from above
With tears that were already clear.

Warm when it's winter
when I hug you and you'll be
my fireplace by the end of the day.

I call you mine because you're
my fairy tale that I dreamt of
once upon a time.

Deep far in the forest
but I know you're waiting for me
just right at the end of the river
just to kiss and love me like
you always do and like you
always will.

paint me with all of this love,
I'll let you carve this architecture
so that you and me can be together
and I'll look at your eyes, above.

in a minute,
I'll be crying, sobbing under the moon
sometimes under the sun.
in a minute, I'm worried about him,
about myself, about everything.
in a minute,
I'm worried about my future,
my present, my past, my everything.
in a minute,
I could be in my bed, studying,
learning, sleeping but mostly crying.
in a minute,
I feel like my friends are my family,
my home because they're always there
to hear, to support, to cry, to laugh
but why did God made me so fragile,
sensitive, insecure with a little bit of self esteem?
why do I have to be this kind of boy?
why can't I do sports, watching football,
flirt with girls, be confident?
I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry and sorry
for a million times if your ears are actually
tired of my voice, tired of my noise.
I don't have anyone anymore,
please I'm begging you,
stay with me, forevermore.

i've been thinking
that drowning is fun
and guns are a playground.
knives are sharp
but an incised wound looks fun
and voices are way too loud.
i don't have a home
but breathless in the water sounds warm.
love faded as people said it is a sin;
i'm just a kid who's trying too see
but my breath fogged up the glass
and now I only see me in a room hanging,
lonely and sad while people are judging.

I can't see myself in a deep crowd
and I feel alone deeply when you're beside me
sitting alone on the table beside the moon
can't even hear the right tune
caught me red-handed in the room
searching for the drug I've been using
checkmate!
you got me,darling
you got me staring.

let my lips be your air
and my eyes will let you stare.

a deadly bouquet of roses in a basket
with deadly leaves and petals
that are brown with a little bit of red
and a little bit of life that now is just a hope,
let me love you like I love me
let me protect you like I want to
cause I don't want to end up dead like the roses
I don't want to end up dead like the brown leaves,
But I'm more worth than just a number 2
and I'm more worth with me if I'm wearing a crown and on the throne with another person other than you.

The thought of losing myself
to the point of a riffle
in both of my hands
are crazy enough to
make me break down
in my own mind.

No tornado circling
around this neighborhood
but I feel wasted around my head
while thinking about things I shouldn't have done.

I keep blaming people around
when the problem is actually me
and I keep flaming fire
and that's just a waste of time.

Grab your bags Azfar,
the problem is here,
it's time to run.

I've been searching the sun through the mountains till I forgot that clouds are built to be loved too.
I've been thinking too hard and forgot that I should do what I want to.
I've been tossing and turning, round and round, till I forget that nights aren't able to hold me long.
I've been crying and screaming till I forgot that stars are singing lullaby songs.
I've been looking and watching till I forgot that wings are built to fly high.
I've been in my room and staying in till I forgot that I'm no longer a dice.
Let me know if the coast is clear
And I'll let you know if I'm out of my fear.

Questions queuing up in my mind
everytime I see you smile cause
my words are indescribable
when you look at me and I really think
that you should be mine.

Water tastes like whiskey
as it slides down to my lungs
and create a disease.
Sedating my emotions
but then somebody else controls me.

I don't know what happened
Until you and I talk like
We were just neighbours
Saying 'hey' and just normal Conversations.

One answer per one question.
That's all it is.
I miss the way you smile at me
Like I am the only joke
You have ever seen
And now all of that has changed,
No more 'goodnight' and not even a Goodbye at the ending scene.

Just so you know,
Even if your life turn out to be hard,
I will always stay there,
Right there deep in your heart.

why don't you want me
like I want you?
why can't you love me
like I love you?
why don't we hold hearts
like we used to?

Have you ever heard that the waves sometimes can pull you right back to the sea?
Right, that's you.
You're the wave
that keeps pulling me back
to the memories that we had.

They say that tonight,
Wishes do come true.
Then, why am I not in front of you?

Santa, I'm not asking for a lot of gifts
And I don't even have a long list,
I just wish for somebody to love me
At least just temporary.

Presenting my soul,
he will entertain you
while you feel like a waterfall, falling.
Say your favourite song and he will
sing it with passion though
he's not that good in singing.
Play your favourite movie
and he will be your obsessed hero
but just so you know, I'm the heroine
of the show.

when your body becomes mine,
I can feel our skin speaks love
like I felt when my skin was on her
and you feel familiar,
like your eyes speak the way hers did;
but my feelings feel foreign
even though our mother tongue is the same.

I admit that every look that you give him
makes me feel like I'm alone in this blizzard night.

I want to hold you
and kiss every inch of your face
so I could show the world
that this night is mine
and this girl beside me is always going to be mine.

Words I wish I wanted to say
turns out just to be the smoke from my mouth that was caused by this lonely snow.

I won't let you go,
so I list out what I want so that you would be under the tree
when I wake up;
Hold you close and we'll stay under the mistletoe forever because today,
I'm going to make you my girl and my favourite present ever in the world.

I'm the diamond of the novel,
The gold that's awaken
From her sleep
Ready to attack and ready to ******.

I'm the key to every doors,
Open them up and throw me out
But don't you forget the gold is still shining,
I'm ready for someone to pick it up,
Use it again,
Throw it out,
Repeat,
You don't understand my pain.

I've been in a marathon-love,
chasing and running until I'm tired.
Too tired to think and too tired to feel
what love really means
cause in the end, there will not be a happy ending.

words are not enough
when lips part and speak air,
throwing vowels like I've never learned
since I was hold
by the warmth of such care.
be your phrases and live in it;
you're now a stray, begging for a roof
of forgiveness.

When we found each other,
We were a mess, hair was muffled,
Eyes were swollen and heart was broken.

We were like medicine,
Or I'd say we're the doctors
And at the same time we were the hospital.

Our hearts were our patient,
I put a little bit of iodine love in you
But I guess yours healed first,
Leaving me alone in this hospital
Without any medication
And so much expectations.

I didn't have the money
To pay the bill
So I gave up my surgery,
Letting my patient die alone,
Slowly and lonely.

Did you came to visit?
Did you came to pray?
Did you came to wish a 'get well soon'?
Did you bring her too?
Well if you're happy then I'll be happy for you.
Thank you my medicine,
My doctor,
My hospital,
For everything we've been through,
Make her happy and treat her patient
Carefully with love for serenity
And promise me you'll love her
Until the day you die,
And always say 'I love you' everytime.

tried to sleep that night
but the moonlight kept me awake
until dawn arrived with a new sunrise
but I'll still await
for tonight
so that I can see the moonlight
clearly without any haze.

I'm not embarrassed to say that every time my eyes met yours my heart beats faster.

It's like I'm a drummer addicted to his music that he creates every summer so that he could listen to the rhythm that's rushing in his adrenaline every time his drum vibrates and creates a sound that we call music.

But I call it love.

Let's leave our problems behind.
I'm missing you, just give me 20 sec
and I promise you can go back
to what you left.
I miss your warm
when it's time to winter,
I miss your hot
when it's time to summer,
I miss your face when it's time to fall
cause you know I will always fall
for you again and again;
always the same.
You're my one and only,
my sun and my baby,
my heart and my soul,
my warm when it's cold.

It's midnight and I'm really high,
just got back from anxiety's party
and now I'm full of insecurities
and I'm really scared to fly.

My voice is like a sword ready to be used in a war, though my hands are weak like a paper in the water, but my voice is sharp ready to ****.

Our voice makes them calm, angry and sometimes sad while trying to understand what does the tone trying to sound and trying to be;
Lips that are supposed to be kissed but I use it for my protection from the devil and this lips will make them sleep, peacefully.

You decide if you want your voice to be quite or mute or loud or wild because the sea is endless and the fishes under it is dangerous, so, choose your path and sound your voice, if you dare to.

Singing on the clouds
while they hold my hands
and we're looking into each other's
like we're some sort of a band.

A minute where I want to relive again
because it hurts when I remember
all of the things that we did together
and I tried to play it like a song
but it kept turning into a hum.

This state is where I know who's bad
and who's good,
what's the purpose of a power
and realize who was my root.

I failed and I've won
yet, I still don't know who I am
because this is where I study feelings
and I learn love, I learn him, I learn her.

I was caught
and trapped in something big,
bigger than any of my emotions,
bigger than my words;
yes, I am caught in a country named love.

Every time he feels
like he's going down,
I'm spreading my wings
ready to fly down
and grab his hands
and bring him back,
back alive and trying to stay in his life.

Yes, my wings are my legacy
but I didn't say that I'm ready to grow
like a tree and become someone
that will shelter their shadow.

I know how to fly,
but every time I jump,
I pretend like I'm stupid
and fell to the ground
just because I don't want to be bigger
than who I am right now,
just because I don't want to be bigger
than where I am right now.

it hurts to see you're happy with her,
it hurts to see you're smiling at her
but nothing hurts more than an unhappy boy i love.

untouchable lips
but she sins through her limbs
and soul became stronger
as she grows into a woman
that came from her mother.

Can we go back?
Back when we laugh
Back when we play rough
Back when we all thought we're so tough.

Running under the blazing sun
Hugging each other with so much fun
Dancing under the rain untill we forgot what is pain
Telling stories like there's nobody around
Yeah,I miss playing with you on the ground.

No beeping sound because all I hear is laughter
All I hear is love,wild,loud flower.
There we were,crying together under the tree trying to be like a bee.

Now that it's new
I miss drawing with you
I miss playing with you.
Now that it's new
We forgot about playing at the parking lot
We lost in what we got.

Saying goodbye is the hardest
But like every other book,we grow old and forget each other.
Goodbye my love
Goodbye my wonderful world.

I remember when I first met you,
We were at the library,
Our eyes met between shelves
That was dusty and you sneezed.
We laughed and talked
And at that time,
When you told me your stories,
Page by page, I know **** well
That you are my favorite book,
You are my favorite fairytale.

one step ahead and they're finally done
one step ahead and they're finally gone
one step ahead and she is finally proud
one step ahead,one step ahead, one step ahead

one step ahead and the glass finally falls
one step ahead and the tears finally drop
one step ahead and the fingers finally touch
one step ahead and the shirt is finally black
one step ahead,one step ahead,one step ahead

with or without,skies or the clouds,
love or a fling,food or a drink;
they finally said and they finally did
they finally free in a count of three
they finally gone and this time it's gonna be so long
they finally clap and it feels like it's only one step
they finally grow as the wind blows
and they finally smile but they're gonna cry

one step ahead before the journey ends
one step ahead before the airplane lands
and one step ahead before the new level
and one step ahead before a boy turns into a man
and one step ahead before a girl turns into a woman
and one step ahead and they finally fly to the higher level of the sky.

counting the stars
like I count your heartbeat
when you're near mine.
one, two, until I stopped at a thousand,
yours stopped at one hundred
but I promised to love you even it's a million.

The smell of the hot chocolate
warms up my little morning
and your hugs warm me up like my sweater.

Let's come out and enjoy this snow,
let's play around
and love all along this winter
so I could look at your eyes around this white weather before all of this is over.

poetry ain't perfect if you are not there;
dress and suits are for models
but I don't want to see you unhappy,
so we'll pause
but don't worry, we'll quickly forward it
just give me his name
and I promise he will end up in my flame.

It's hard, I understand
But believe me
Trust me
That you're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
And you're so ******* beautiful
Even the mirror claps
Even the camera cheers
So be happy and always remember that I'm always here
Be happy and say '*******' to all those skinny *******.