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Jan 3 · 48
You Were With Her
Axel Jan 3
I'm asking myself what do I want,
I'm asking myself who do I want,
I'm assuming that everything
will flow slowly
but I'm wrong and I knew it
but I decided to just keep believing
that we're still looking into each other's eyes like my heart still beats the same beat as you.

Our voices are gone,
so did our melodies and our songs
that we used to sing.
I was waiting for love inside the cafe
and I realized that we ran out of things to say.

I thought that I am one with you,
I thought that you loved me too
but when I was down,
when I was drowning,
you were with her inside her room, kissing.

I closed my eyes and as my tears fall, I said "Congratulations, you have won this game"
and left all of it behind
because you never need me again.
hope you'll have a happy ever after
Dec 2019 · 96
Let It Snow
Axel Dec 2019
I admit that every look that you give him
makes me feel like I'm alone in this blizzard night.

I want to hold you
and kiss every inch of your face
so I could show the world
that this night is mine
and this girl beside me is always going to be mine.

Words I wish I wanted to say
turns out just to be the smoke from my mouth that was caused by this lonely snow.

I won't let you go,
so I list out what I want so that you would be under the tree
when I wake up;
Hold you close and we'll stay under the mistletoe forever because today,
I'm going to make you my girl and my favourite present ever in the world.
Christmas time!
Axel Dec 2019
They say that tonight,
Wishes do come true.
Then, why am I not in front of you?

Santa, I'm not asking for a lot of gifts
And I don't even have a long list,
I just wish for somebody to love me
At least just temporary.
happy holidays!
Dec 2019 · 172
Dangerous Situations
Axel Dec 2019
I'm holding in my scream
when you hit me right there;
it makes my mind collapses into pieces
but you'll pick it right back up
when you told me to call your name out loud.
We'll keep quiet
Dec 2019 · 262
I Belong to You
Axel Dec 2019
paint me with all of this love,
I'll let you carve this architecture
so that you and me can be together
and I'll look at your eyes, above.
****** tensions
Dec 2019 · 137
Santa Daddy
Axel Dec 2019
Santa daddy,
will you punish me if I'm naughty
or will you treat me carefully if I'm nice?
Come and get a taste of this milk
don't be shy, no one has to know,
we'll keep it down and low.

Give your present to me tonight,
Big or small I'll take it and make it just right.
You know the recipes, now make me your cookies.
winter wonderland
Nov 2019 · 100
Come Out, Let's Love
Axel Nov 2019
We stayed up all night
listening to our voices
talk softly under the dark
and I've never taught
that I'd fall in love
again, it's my luck.

So I hold your hands,
kiss your lips
and stare into you;
Now I'm ready to shout it out loud
Then, she kissed me slowly
and passionately
under this snowy weather;
Again, I fall in love with this girl,
it's insane.
another poem inspired by a Christmas movie
Nov 2019 · 71
Axel Nov 2019
When the thunder passed
its negative charges,
it went right in me
and now I live with it.
As I grow old, I realised that I tend to plant my flowers without even watering them but I know they're going to withered and I still do it anyway.

I grow old and I see things in different perspectives, I see fire as water, smoke as fog, summer as winter, and I promised I have fought and now I feel down, very down, like an ocean-deep-down but who gives a **** anyway.
i live with it
Nov 2019 · 137
Young & Restless
Axel Nov 2019
Young and restless,
let's sing it out loud,
carry me upstairs,
do our best and make them proud.

Young and restless,
angels are us,
set this world on fire
and spread our wings wider.

No it won't be our last,
no it won't be our goodbyes,
no we won't let go our hands too fast
because we're young and restless;
our youth is our life
and let us cherish it for the rest of our life.
let's enjoy today so tomorrow we can remember.
Nov 2019 · 136
Our Last Winter
Axel Nov 2019
The smell of the hot chocolate
warms up my little morning
and your hugs warm me up like my sweater.

Let's come out and enjoy this snow,
let's play around
and love all along this winter
so I could look at your eyes around this white weather before all of this is over.
I don't celebrate Christmas but here it is, a 'wintery' type of poem. Enjoy it <3
Nov 2019 · 705
The definition of love
Axel Nov 2019
It was hard facing rocks and not the sky,
it was tough meeting snow in July,
it was good knowing you and your smile.
I needed you like a fish needs the water,
needed you like a tree needs the sunlight;
you didn't need me and that's alright.

I gave you my best
and it's time for me to get a rest;
this is where our story ends.
I'm sorry it's not a kissing scene under the rain
but instead it's me loving myself and recovering from the pain and that's where I found what the meaning of true love is..

All of the blood that dripped down from our heart created memories and created us,
it made me and you stronger than before and I hope you love her stronger than our metaphors.
moving on
Nov 2019 · 91
Every Inch of Your Body
Axel Nov 2019
Hit me with your soul
I'll give my best to stay still
And the pain keep my eyes shut
But the pleasure ain't keeping my mouth shut

Promise me you'd hold me tight;
I'll bloom once the moon shines
Right through our body
And in that moment I'll stare at your shimmering eyes.

Let's not waste our times,
Run up to the stairs,
Lock the doors
And in that moment,
Baby I'm yours.
loving physically
Oct 2019 · 181
Romance in the 80's
Axel Oct 2019
Our hands intertwined,
eyes locked up,
lips were sore from kissing;
I'd say we were the best that have ever happened in each other's life.

But time was ancient,
so you left me with your name inside
and married her instead; left our memories behind, put her body in your bed.
Sep 2019 · 1.1k
Axel Sep 2019
When the birds are singing tomorrow
While the sun is entering my room,
I'll wake up with water surrounding my place
But once I inhale and exhale,
Bet that I'll win every race.

Even if the dirt wants to dirt me,
Let it be, because I'm standing straight
And my eyes are now awake
From my heaviness sleep
And I'm fully ready to face everything.
Keep staying positive
Sep 2019 · 284
In your heart
Axel Sep 2019
I don't know what happened
Until you and I talk like
We were just neighbours
Saying 'hey' and just normal Conversations.

One answer per one question.
That's all it is.
I miss the way you smile at me
Like I am the only joke
You have ever seen
And now all of that has changed,
No more 'goodnight' and not even a Goodbye at the ending scene.

Just so you know,
Even if your life turn out to be hard,
I will always stay there,
Right there deep in your heart.
Axel Sep 2019
Right now, I ran out of words to start my poems because I'm just waiting by the door to see your face or even to hear your name called by anyone.
I lied about loving him and the truth is I've only been in love with you.
You're my skin to my body,
My lashes to my eyes,
My nails to my fingers.
At first I didn't know what the purpose of them being together on each other, but when I fall for you, it seems like my questions are all have been answered. You seem useless to me at first, but actually we were made to complete each other, because without you I wouldn't know what's under and what's above, without you, I wouldn't know what is the meaning of a true love.
Sep 2019 · 250
I'm shameless
Axel Sep 2019
Questions queuing up in my mind
everytime I see you smile cause
my words are undescribable
when you look at me and I really think
that you should be mine.
Sep 2019 · 1.1k
My night ritual
Axel Sep 2019
It's midnight and I'm really high,
just got back from anxiety's party
and now I'm full of insecurities
and I'm really scared to fly.
stressful week
Sep 2019 · 2.0k
Medical Checkup
Axel Sep 2019
When we found each other,
We were a mess, hair was muffled,
Eyes were swollen and heart was broken.

We were like medicine,
Or I'd say we're the doctors
And at the same time we were the hospital.

Our hearts were our patient,
I put a little bit of iodine love in you
But I guess yours healed first,
Leaving me alone in this hospital
Without any medication
And so much expectations.

I didn't have the money
To pay the bill
So I gave up my surgery,
Letting my patient die alone,
Slowly and lonely.

Did you came to visit?
Did you came to pray?
Did you came to wish a 'get well soon'?
Did you bring her too?
Well if you're happy then I'll be happy for you.
Thank you my medicine,
My doctor,
My hospital,
For everything we've been through,
Make her happy and treat her patient
Carefully with love for serenity
And promise me you'll love her
Until the day you die,
And always say 'I love you' everytime.
wrote this at 1am
Aug 2019 · 319
state of mind
Axel Aug 2019
i see heaven in your eyes
and you see sincere in mine.
and we fall right into the night.
Aug 2019 · 150
Ladies and Gentlemen
Axel Aug 2019
Presenting my soul,
he will entertain you
while you feel like a waterfall, falling.
Say your favourite song and he will
sing it with passion though
he's not that good in singing.
Play your favourite movie
and he will be your obsessed hero
but just so you know, I'm the heroine
of the show.
Aug 2019 · 228
My Lover
Axel Aug 2019
Let's leave our problems behind.
I'm missing you, just give me 20 sec
and I promise you can go back
to what you left.
I miss your warm
when it's time to winter,
I miss your hot
when it's time to summer,
I miss your face when it's time to fall
cause you know I will always fall
for you again and again;
always the same.
You're my one and only,
my sun and my baby,
my heart and my soul,
my warm when it's cold.
My everything.
Aug 2019 · 76
At First Sight
Axel Aug 2019
As our eyes met,
I could feel the spark
like an electric met with electric
and a shock happened there.

I could feel the way you look
cause I was feeling the same thing
as you
right in the middle of a crowded room
but you only saw me
and I only saw you.

Our hearts glow like a sunrise
it shows,
and in that moment I felt like
your body is mine
and my body is yours.

But time passed by,
we looked into each others eyes
like it meant nothing,
nothing like the first time.
Nothing like before.
Axel Aug 2019
in a minute,
I'll be crying, sobbing under the moon
sometimes under the sun.
in a minute, I'm worried about him,
about myself, about everything.
in a minute,
I'm worried about my future,
my present, my past, my everything.
in a minute,
I could be in my bed, studying,
learning, sleeping but mostly crying.
in a minute,
I feel like my friends are my family,
my home because they're always there
to hear, to support, to cry, to laugh
but why did God made me so fragile,
sensitive, insecure with a little bit of self esteem?
why do I have to be this kind of boy?
why can't I do sports, watching football,
flirt with girls, be confident?
I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry and sorry
for a million times if your ears are actually
tired of my voice, tired of my noise.
I don't have anyone anymore,
please I'm begging you,
stay with me, forevermore.
not a clue.
Aug 2019 · 830
Tell Me
Axel Aug 2019
You unfold my pages softly,
carefully not to tear them up
to pieces that can never be combine.

So if my name suddenly disappear,
if the lights suddenly fade,
if I'm no longer useable,
if my demons suddenly reappear,
would you still take my hands?
would you still hold it tight?
would you still give me your time?
would you still consider to be mine?
Aug 2019 · 313
Once Upon a Time
Axel Aug 2019
I remember when I first met you,
We were at the library,
Our eyes met between shelves
That was dusty and you sneezed.
We laughed and talked
And at that time,
When you told me your stories,
Page by page, I know **** well
That you are my favorite book,
You are my favorite fairytale.
Aug 2019 · 519
10:17 pm
Axel Aug 2019
when did we become a stranger?
walking pass by but we didn't even
see each other.
when did I become so wanting,
wanting to write about you
when all you do is running?
i love you,
like I always do,
but why can't you?
Aug 2019 · 236
i still love you
Axel Aug 2019
why don't you want me
like I want you?
why can't you love me
like I love you?
why don't we hold hearts
like we used to?
i love you
Aug 2019 · 971
Axel Aug 2019
I'm the diamond of the novel,
The gold that's awaken
From her sleep
Ready to attack and ready to ******.

I'm the key to every doors,
Open them up and throw me out
But don't you forget the gold is still shining,
I'm ready for someone to pick it up,
Use it again,
Throw it out,
You don't understand my pain.
the story of my Life
Jul 2019 · 486
Dad Jokes
Axel Jul 2019
never find it funny
when my dad does it
but I pray to God that
he will never stop joking.
Cause by the time he's not here,
that jokes will mean everything.
Mr. Superman
Axel Jul 2019
Have you ever heard that the waves sometimes can pull you right back to the sea?
Right, that's you.
You're the wave
that keeps pulling me back
to the memories that we had.
back to u
Jul 2019 · 269
Axel Jul 2019
Our eyes met
when he was wearing red
and this cheeks went fire burning that it's colour is red.
Jul 2019 · 197
Axel Jul 2019
Close the book,
let's read the next chapter
might as well rip
the previous chapters
but I hold on
not because the feeling is still here
but because there's still
a lot of chapters
and a lot of books on the shelf for me to read.
moving on..
Jul 2019 · 237
Axel Jul 2019
Nothing was attached when we met
and I sure as hell
that you weren't the orchid
that I was searching.

The moon wasn't shining
when I first saw you walking with a bursting orange shirt and I promise you that I never felt that you were a meaningful poetry.

But for a few days, your face lit up my boring world, your jokes shined my darkest river, your smile was the sunrise that I was waiting to see,
and my mind was your place that you're always going to be.

But these past few minutes, your voice is the most unpleasant sound I've ever heard, your eyes are the most boring thing in the world, your face is the last thing I want to see.
I don't want to feel like this but I don't want myself to get hurt.
Go on, I'm not forcing you to love me, because I know, all your life, you've always loved her and not me.
goodbye, I wish u the best, hope u found love and hope she can give you the things I couldn't.
Jul 2019 · 455
Axel Jul 2019
i imagine what these hands
would do in the dark
when it's past midnight,
will the magic stay?
or the magic will fade away?
work of art
Jul 2019 · 662
Axel Jul 2019
I've been in a marathon-love,
chasing and running until I'm tired.
Too tired to think and too tired to feel
what love really means
cause in the end, there will not be a happy ending.
it doesn't mean that I don't believe in love but love hurts me everytime and I don't feel like wanting to be in it anymore.
Jul 2019 · 2.2k
I'm Gonna Regret It
Axel Jul 2019
The thought of losing myself
to the point of a riffle
in both of my hands
are crazy enough to
make me break down
in my own mind.

No tornado circling
around this neighborhood
but I feel wasted around my head
while thinking about things I shouldn't have done.

I keep blaming people around
when the problem is actually me
and I keep flaming fire
and that's just a waste of time.

Grab your bags Azfar,
the problem is here,
it's time to run.
i keep thinking people hate me when i always by their side, feeling like it's a sin to be happy when and that's why I'm always inside.
Jul 2019 · 326
Snow White
Axel Jul 2019
his white milk-like face,
makes me crave for his sweetness
while I'm swallowing plain water
that I got from the waitress.
As White As Sheet
Jul 2019 · 121
Axel Jul 2019
Remember when we used to lay down on the field, looking up until we see clouds?
Then we create faces like we were a poet trying to say the words from our mouth but only laughter that came out.

Remember when we stayed up all night,
telling stories that were probably weren't real but we did it for our scaredy *** and couldn't sleep that night?
We were like directors trying to create some corny horror scenes from our head but our pants ended up filled with ***.

Now, when I look up to the clouds,
I see our childhood painted in pure white and I  paint them in my empty dusty canvas that I found  in my basement.
memories that'll never be erased
Axel Jul 2019
My voice is like a sword ready to be used in a war, though my hands are weak like a paper in the water, but my voice is sharp ready to ****.

Our voice makes them calm, angry and sometimes sad while trying to understand what does the tone trying to sound and trying to be;
Lips that are supposed to be kissed but I use it for my protection from the devil and this lips will make them sleep, peacefully.

You decide if you want your voice to be quite or mute or loud or wild because the sea is endless and the fishes under it is dangerous, so, choose your path and sound your voice, if you dare to.
speak up, your voice matters!
Axel Jul 2019
When the sun rose today,
We didn't know he would go away.
He wasn't my friend but when the sun rose today,
He felt like a family.

When the sun set today,
His name was spoken in our prayers
And our words came out like our tears
Sounded up the moon with his face on our faces.
translation for the title:
"We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return"

my senior passed away today and he had cancer, I cried even though we weren't close at all, but still he felt like a family and I pray that he's in a better place waiting for us up there. <3

Al-fatihah (for the Muslims)
Jul 2019 · 395
Axel Jul 2019
Don't call him angel, if you never see him sin.
Don't call him treasure, if you don't know anything.
But just call him danger, cause that's what perfectly suits him.
a poetry about me from someone's pov.
Jul 2019 · 114
Too Late
Axel Jul 2019
dreamy skin
that used to hold me softly
I don't know what to do
I'm missing you,
so bad I'm missing you
now, fire's gone but
the rain is still there
thunder won't stop sounding inside my head
and I feel like I'm just writing words
without even saying and meaning them.
it's too late for me to say
Jul 2019 · 230
Axel Jul 2019
i can say 'i am okay' easily
but no one would understand me,
no one would want to
hold these weak body tightly.
heartbreak is the most important moment in your life, bcs of that heartbreak, u can learn what did u do wrong and u can try to learn and grow from the mistakes you made or even your significant others made.
Jun 2019 · 177
What Is Art
Axel Jun 2019
Once an old man asked me,
"What is art?",
Well, as an unthoughtful kid, i said "painting"
But then he laughed and left me thinking.

I traveled down the street trying to find what art really means,
I dived into the tub trying to think what art can be,
I jumped from above to fly to search art in the sky,
I asked my mom "ummi, what is art?"
She said "go Google it",
But still I can't understand;
I won't understand until someone stand up and tell me that the art is in them.

So I present myself and my humanity
To say it out loud and proud:
Art is my hated hair that the back always stand up,
Art is my dark circles under my eyes begging me to sleep,
Art is my acnes that surround my face and left me annoyed,
Art is the shirt that I bought from the thrift store that has a coffee stain,
Art is when I started to accept of who I truly am.
I tried to see art a little bit clearer
And now I understand that art is
The one that standing crooked in front of the mirror.
at the end of the day, you have to love yourself cuz how are you gonna love somebody else if u hate yourself?
Jun 2019 · 216
Wtf Is That
Axel Jun 2019
If a diamond is in front of me,
Just so you know I'll choose that rather then him
But when he's not looking,
My eyes can't help it.

My heart is confused
But I can promise you there's no more feelings,
No more butterflies flying
But when he's beside me
Something started to twitch
And I call that *******.
Jun 2019 · 211
Axel Jun 2019
Bought somethings that you want
Hated the things that you need
It's all pretty and fun
Puckering up your small *** lips
But once the sun hit
You can't refund it.

You felt uncomfortable in your own skin
And your body is too ******* thin
But just so you know
That women and men
Aren't supposed to be treated like this.

God made us perfect in every inch
Of our face, of our legs, of our hands
But beauty is all that people dreams
Perfect is all that people think.

If you aspire to renovate every inch of your body,
Then where's the girl that she used to be?
Where's the guy that I used to see?
Where's the heart that used to be free?
"you spent the whole night trying to be someone else, so who's gonna be you?!!"

-handome devil (movie)
Jun 2019 · 227
Axel Jun 2019
Go away!
I'm tired of turning and
tripping and laying
in my bed all night singing
every line to every broken songs
until I breathe nothing.

Go away!
Don't you ever turn back, go away!
If you dare to step out then
face the fact that you'll never
be able to turn back, go away!
**** all the points because you
made your choice
and I hope karma will land and bet
that I'll be over here with my wine
dancing around the sand with my girlfriend.
Jun 2019 · 220
Axel Jun 2019
i know that the world is built for two,
but that doesn't mean that it should be you.
Jun 2019 · 100
i don't want to be alive
Axel Jun 2019
i've been thinking
that drowning is fun
and guns are a playground.
knives are sharp
but an incised wound looks fun
and voices are way too loud.
i don't have a home
but breathless in the water sounds warm.
love faded as people said it is a sin;
i'm just a kid who's trying too see
but my breath fogged up the glass
and now I only see me in a room hanging,
lonely and sad while people are judging.
i feel like my life ain't mine - Logic
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