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This disease its not mine
I think it is out of control! well at least mine.
It has no fear and has no boundaries causing despair and joy
What can I do it clings to me, I try to get it off I try to get it out
the only problem is it takes me over it makes me shout and my hands
well they just have to vent and air out, they know not what they do
Its the Disease they tell me, it's it still it does it so what is the use.

It loves me and sometimes so do I but most of the time its the
diseases favorite pass time, What is the disease you must be asking
the only problem is it is not just mine it also clings to you and now
you are worrying how do you get it off of you and let it out well
lucky you met me because I am here to guide believe me of this topic
I would not lie, You let it in you scream it out it is all your words
and judgement too and the way you feel and speak the disease is
         within you so all you can do the only hope for you is self control
restrain the beast do not doubt its power to spread all over you and
your disease well it is partially up to you get with the program and simply
bolt the mouth and tie the hands this is your bestest conquering plan
then the disease will not stand a chance against you
go on and live your best life by being truly you.
Whats the disease?
At first, they kept it on a down low
Feigning not for anything below
But steadily they went on slow-slow
Two-two like doves they flew-up 'n' flow

Engraved in the sulcus of lust
They strived to ***-drive their lust
She needn't guessed who was calling
Of course she knew about his mailing

Come and know my house darling!
She nagged but murmured- a yes in
It was 8:00PM she came entering
Skillfully drove to his door-steps  'n' in

Indeed she was interested to be rested
Too high their feelings they undressed
She could've said no when started
But tensions were high to 've mattered

Months later, she called his line
He ignored her, there's a deadline
She's fed but infact, he's on airline
Ticketing to meet him failedout of line
It’s like everyone around me can’t see my pain, it’s like there is something wrong with my brain.
I’m feeling really drained, I think that I might go insane...how could I restrain?
My chest is really heavy and my head is feeling wavy, I cannot keep steady.
Where is my self control? I’m feeling completely un-hole.
Something has taken over my soul and I have lost all control.
I feel so hopeless, I don’t think that I can cope with this.
I don't think there is anything more selfish
Than telling someone you love them,
But that you don't want to be with them

Less a matter of self control
More a matter of which self you loved more
Mine or yours
4.17.2020
Shreya Mar 22
Days turn into night,
Nights turn into days,
A lot was on going on,
But there was nothing much to say.

At least I knew I was alive,
For sometimes I doubt my existence,
From going unheard to not caring one bit,
Were people who I envied and listened to the most.

Every day as these memories pass,
I think about who I am,
Hiding myself in disguise,
It seems like I’m trapped in a can.

But is it that hard to have someone by your side?
When I’m in pain,
They just don’t seem to notice it,
And I only want someone to call my name.

These memories I hold are not quite pleasant to hear about,
But I hope someday I would not have to be a ‘Personality in Disguise’ anymore.

For those whom I love,
I wish you could understand me,
And accept me for being myself,
‘Cause someone else can’t be me.

For all these memories that I hold,
I wish I could be myself again,
I hope not to be,
A ‘Personality in Disguise’ tied to a chain.
He proffered his gloved hand filled with guarantee
His blue eyes flickered greedily like the swirling of the sea
His hair was dark and soft, as if of silken twine
His crocodile smile beckoned, "your soul it will be mine"

His arms and legs bent to and fro, waving impossibly
I could smell his want burning my nose ever so pungently
His deal, he swore, "Was better than any I'd ever know"
He towered over, leaning forth, his wickedness did grow

A red bowtie, two-button suit, his clothes immaculate
I stared at him, wondering, too much time to contemplate
And in the end, I shook his hand, my resistance was futile
Each of us has fallen for a dark reptilian smile
This poem was my parallel between a deal with the devil and the deal we make with ourselves each time we say we won't do something again.  Each of us has struggled with something in our lives that we wish we could stop.  I hope that one day each of us won't shake hands with the weakest part of ourselves
ScribeMeAName Feb 15
Have you heard the ancient tales? A king summoned his slave, a man old and frail.

I am your King and you are my slave the King announced.
Not true the slave denounced.

How so said the King. I have 7 kingdoms of my own,
and all the people including you, answer to my throne.

Gluttony, greed, lust and pride, you are chained by your desires the slave explained.
Your desires rule over you, but my desires,
I am their master, complete freedom I have attained.

So you see son, I am a king of desire, while it is your master.

I am a King of your King, and you a slave of my slave.

Have you heard the ancient tales? A man old and frail.
Free yourselves from the chains of desire
Self control's a virtue not a demon
At times I swear it has a double meaning
Which self controls the self and which one comes out defeated
It's hard to feel that in control when part of you concedes
And I don't know
Who it is I'm trying to control anymore
12.17.19
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