Sleepless nights all dark and gray
No end in sight as I become prey
To the creeping abyss that coincides
With the restless struggle behind my eyes

Don't give in I want to scream
My strength is more than just a dream
While faith eludes me and hope dwindles to a spark
My cries for freedom still ring clear through the dark

Clarity is found with every step taken
Towards healing a mind the darkness has shaken
I rise from a Hell of disdain and despair
To find the glowing light of sovereignty
And know my salvation lies there

Unknown memories
Keep invading my mind
A buried time capsule
With an arsenal decimated by time

Wrestling with the muddled thinking
Accompanied by a paralyzing fear
Happens when undeniable flashbacks
Become all too uncomfortably clear

A pain ignites and starts to dig
Burning all the way to my core
Breathing only fans the flames
Incinerating all I've ever adored

Sifting through the ashes
Of a war that's raged within
Still finding untarnished pieces of self
Longing to be whole again

There's an untarnished piece of "true self" deep within us all...One just needs to look for that unwavering spark!

A complete state of well-being
Is something we all hope to achieve
Though my mind constantly questions
If it's nothing more than an idealistic belief

What is truly well
What definitively is not
How does one get better
When the mind intentionally forgot

Will I ever find what I'm searching for
Will I set my demons free
Can I allow my will to loosen its grip
Just enough to find inner peace

Somewhere there must be a blueprint
Stamped upon my soul
The mind and body connection
That can one day make me whole

For now, I ponder the questions
Cause answers I have none
Yet staying true to my intent
Of finishing the journey begun

Steps forward are simply that...The size of the step doesn't matter, the forward movement does!

I am dangerous...

It's haunting
This hold I have over you
You become so weary and weak
My grip tightens
And everything slowly fades away
Until you can hardly breathe

You mustn't ever speak of me
So they will never know
Exactly what I'll do to you
And the shame that starts to grow

My deceitful assurances comfort you
They entice to draw you near
My promise is I will hurt you
And prey on all your fears

The only guarantees I have
Is that my promise is a lie
You cannot take the beating I'll give
No way that you'll survive

No matter what you say or do
You know how this will end
So consider turning away right now
Your last chance before we begin

I am dangerous for you...

It's haunting how an ED vows to conquer every aspect of one's life until rational thoughts no longer exist!
Afiqah 6d

they chose us
and we became their living kind
of flesh and blood
however,
somewhere
through every bit of our lives,
we tend to make poor, ugly choices
that we end up itching for  
the human inside of us
to play the devil instead

-a.

Afiqah Jul 18

people are people

but sometimes,
I wish that
their shit would just come to life
and kiss the hell out of their
goddamned faces

-a.

Afiqah Jul 16

and
the sad, sober truth of it all
that will sit in our hearts
till hell freezes over
is that
people are allowed
to not want you anymore
and we’re all left feeling
a little victimized
to a messy, needless beating,
in one’s soul

-a.

Afiqah Jul 13

we live by and only learn
from wounds and scars
and
that’s the truth
it’s certainly hard
to keep moving and all
but this is how
you will adore your soul the most
even if numbness
gets in the way,
nothing else reeks a little too much
than that beautiful part of us
so settle along with them,

you and your heart will make it through


-a.

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