Myth: Follow your heart and you'll be genuinely happy.

Truth is, your heart is broken into pieces
Which one will you follow?

I was scared.
People around me noticed it.
They told me to try going out of my comfort zone.
To step outside the box.
I was scared.
But I gave a shot.
Now Im outside the box.
Wondering my existence.
Roaming around at every corner.
I was scared.
One wrong move
I might fail.
But I realized
I wasnt scared.
It's just in my head.
Because everything outside the box was
All my happiness.
I was once afraid of risking.

Words **** like bullets they say
But so does silence

Run.
Safeguard your heart.
Dont fall again, please.
It will just **** you.

Let me break your heart.
Rip your world into pieces
And destroy who you thought you were
Then I'll ask if we can be friends. 
Funny isnt it?

That's your logic.

I enclosed my heart with steel bars and diamonds
But
You still managed to break it.

I love you no more said he
Why said she
Just because said he
This is a joke right said she


And he left her just like that.
No explanations.
No goodbyes.
Just  *I LOVE YOU NO MORE

He started seeing
all the things I see in myself.
And that's the scariest thing for me
because I know he wont stay.

I was right

*He left me.

I was dumbfounded
When you told me,
"Im no longer interested"
Should I cry in front of you?
To show how weak I am without you?
I was stupid.
I let go of my little chance
Of becoming part of your life.
Should I hold onto the thoughts
Of you and I being together someday?
I was scared
Of being so fragile.
I might do something bad to anybody...to myself.
Because I cant take this disappointment in me.
I love you, Gab.
And this wasn't just one of my jokes.
Because the only joke I told you was when I said back...
**"I'll be okay."

I met a girl whose name is sky's hue
Combined with a thing that has a melody to foretell
And this may sound so vain
But it rhymes her name.

I met a poet who's spinning in a far bustling place
Known as the city that never sleeps
And I feel like a star
That's crawling into the unknown

I found this someone a downreaching one
Though she's miles away, one that I never took a glance at
She'll be an spectacle,
I'll always wait for her written words

Maybe someday, just like color blue
I'd find her my tranquility just like most people do
And listen to the sweet, tinkling melody bell foretells
With the one who directs me all the way just like a weathervane.

Tick tok tickles the clock
Cricket sound was reverberating in my mind
I can feel my soul being soaked
In my own sweat
This gives me such collywobbles
Im still putting my feelings into words
Yet Im torn between sending or keeping it
What will I do?
"****, Im gonna send this",
I finally utter.
"I have a deep regard for you."
Sent 11:48pm
I broke into tears because of this nervousness in me.
I let a deep sigh out.
Seen 11:50pm was all I can see on the screen
No typing.
No reply.
Nothing.

When I was younger
I was taught to never talk with strangers
For I was gullible
And they might fool me with no apparent reason

When I was a little older
Strangers turned into acquaintances
Acquaintances turned into friends
Friends turned into lovers

I learned that my elders were right
When they told me to never talk with strangers
For I was gullible enough to be fooled
I shouldve listened to them

As I stand staring at the blue clear sky,
While the sound of crashing waves echoes in my mind,
I remember your eyes looking so bright that time.
I gazed every inch of imperfection yet I still saw beauty behind those holes.


We sat on those spacious bench.
I remember you beside me being in silence,
We counted vintas on the calm bay.
And funny thing, I wished you to stay.


All I knew is the burning love I had for you.
I didnt even notice that it burned you.
I stared at the blue clear sky without noticing it's getting dark.
I remembered how blind I was to keep loving you.


And finally, Im letting these feelings go like how you left me.
The thing is, it took me a long time to let go.
And you left me in a blink of an eye.

It's the way you look into her eyes
when you talk to her.


And even when youre not together.
You still speak about her like she's your universe.


And I,
Im just a listener.

Sometimes we lost the poet inside us
Because we found ourselves
Dwelling in a place
That has a heartbeat and hazel eyes
Which happen to be
A mere illusion
Because you wont end up together
And when youre hurt
You found yourself being a poet again
Because poetry is your home
And not a person.

"Im home"**

Said she.
I wore my typical smile.
I was happy for her
Not because she's home
But because she knew where her home was.


While I,
Im still figuring out where home is,
Is it a place with beds and comforters?
Somewhere you can rest?
Or a person with hazel eyes and a heartbeat?
Someone you can feel loved?

If I were a song, I'd tell you to play me on repeat.
If I were a movie, I want you to watch me every night till you feel sleepy.
If I were a pen, I'll let you to empty my soul for you to quench your thoughts.
If I were a bird, I'll let you stay at my back for you to see how beautiful life is.
If I were a blanket, I'll always keep you warm and assure you that there are no monsters on your bed.
If I were a dream, I'll take you to the place where you can be the star.
If I were a spaceship, I'll let you travel the outer space and find yourself.


And
If I were a poem, I want you to remember me.
Keep me in your mind.
Lock me in your heart.
Because If I were a poem...
I am this poem
*that'll always wish to be something significant for you

she entered the room
picked a seat at the back
she put her earphones on
lay her head on the desk.
"i am nobody
and nobody notices me.
why am i even staying here?"
she closed her eyes.


someone entered the room
picked a seat beside her.
she poked her.
she lifted her head with poker face.
"hi, Im Keren"
she gave a smile.


"maybe I should keep this someone"
she whispers at the back of her mind.

I wish...
That by the time I finish this, Im so over you.
I wish...
That you'll be haunted every night by the love I gave you.
I wish...
That you'll remember me like I never  forgot you.
I wish...
That you can't sleep at night like how I stayed awake thinking about us.
I wish...
That you'll drown in tears like how I can't even swim.
I wish...
That you'll forgive yourself like how I blame myself for everything.
I wish...
That you'll regret losing me like how happy I am now being free.
I wish...
That you'll love me like how I love you until I finish this poem.
I wish...
That I could ever stop, like how you ended things between us.
I wish...
But I cant.

The truth was unleashed
      when I saw you
  with her
Hands are intertwined
Staring at each other's eyes.

I was dumbfounded
   Cant even feel my senses
Everything was naked.
I knew.
**Our love was just a lie to you.

Im suicidal
And I am beyond happy
If I'd die tonight.

Lying on the bermuda grass
gazing at the stars,
we planned for our future
as if it's only a call away.

I remembered how you asked me,
"Why arent you writing anymore?"
And i sniffed, "Got no inspiration"
You kept silent, we had a fight that day.

And now Im alone,
Remembering where it went wrong
Like a strike of a lightning into a forbidden tree
I wasnt quite sure of the answer

All I know is that,
I lost the poet in me
When I found the love I am longing...
in you.

That's what love has taught me:
*YOU NEED TO LOSE YOURSELF TO FIND SOMEBODY

I didnt let you go.
You lost me.
You'll search me in every soul you'll meet
But never will I be found again.
Because you lost me
The day you told me I wasnt home
When all I thought was you're my home

I held my phone.
And started to scan your pictures.
Strong surges of nostalgia pile up.
Memories became a movie in my head.

12:51am
You texted me.
"How are you?"
My mind's shouting
"Im not fine. I miss you so bad and it hurts this much."


1:30am
Thoughts are clouding my mind.
What ifs get under way.
Why did we end up like this?
What have we done to each other?


2:58am
A war in my mind's in ******
I cant get you out of my mind.
How's me? I dont know. I dont know.
You left me. I think Im fine. Really.


4:59am
The night's soon to end or so I thought?
The sun will come out in any minute to welcome me.
You were like the moon, you left me in my darkest moment.
And I still have no sun to shelter me.


6am
I was drunk with my thoughts of you.
My eyes are blurry because of tears.
My tears drown me in bed.
I am wrecked.



7:30am
My senses are tired.
They kept on shouting for me to take a glance at them.
I ignored them when you left me.
I havent been okay since then, I guess.


9:51am
The city is so busy like me.
Im tired, Im leaving now.
Now ask me before I go:
"How are you?"
I'll be fine. I hope you miss me too.


11:58am
A lifeless girl in bed with a letter beside her was found.

A letter to everyone who broke my heart,


Thanks for making me feel alive.


Sincerely,
The one you seriously killed many times

Words ran constantly
Along these sheets of papers infront of me
As I shed tears for you dear
This will be the last poem, I promise

It may take me hours, months, or years
Till I put into words all the things that rhymed with your name
But this you should remember,
I dont care, for this is the last, I promise

Tonight, I wont write the saddest lines
Neither the happiest
This isnt for you to realize my worth
But to make you feel loved till I get hurt.

Sorry for I imprisoned you
In my web of words
Is it my fault?
You feel in love with a writer

Sorry for I got you shackled
In every hug I gave
Is it my fault?
I just want to keep you in my hold.

I saw museums in you,
You were a galaxy in me
A North Star, but why?
You treated me like a scratch.

Funny how I was there
In the moments you were just a bud
Now look at you,
A grown plant you became

You left me when you reach the edge
Stood in a tower
I was left on the ground
Still looking with hopes and happiness at you

My love, this I just wish.
Can you take care of yourself as I leave?
I didnt know I had been this weak.
Never got the chance to tell you Im this sick.

Words ran constantly
Along this papers soaked in tears
Did you know I bleed dry for you?
This will be the last, I promise dear.

**My ink has turned dry
My mind has been emptied
But my heart has kept you locked.
My love, I promise this is the last.
I'll be forever locked in my coffin soon.

You asked me
If what makes me happy and sad.
I just laughed
Because you'll never know that
It's always been you.


You.

The rain fell so hard
And my eyes can barely hold back my tears
I realized sky's like me.
It can't contain the heaviness it has inside.
So it bleeds itself dry.

Sing me a song,
A song that will make me remember,
Remember the things we used to love
A sing that makes our world go round.

Sing me a song,
A song that will mend my heart,
The heart you left with scars,
A song that heals a broken heart.

Sing me a song,
A song that will make me forget you,
Fogert the songs you sang for me.
*A song you and I will no longer remember.