One last time
I had to look back
I had to have
My very last glance

She was my mother
And I loved her
Earnestly
Faithfully

I know
She fed me
I know she cared
I know sometimes
She wished I wasn't even there

We could hold the grudge
For as long as you seek
But Momma,
Aren't you supposed to love me?

I desire your blessings,
I yearn for your fondness,
Momma how can you not see?
Your daughter is not what you believe,

I have become a waste
Somebody's worst day
But you don't even bother
If I leave or if I stay

They say,
"Hold on little child,
Someday you'll finally find,
Your true love,
And you won't have anything to hide."

They say,
"This pain will go away,
You shall have a reason to stay,
In this world,
You'll one day find your place."

They say,
"If you don't look around,
And if you can't hear the sound,
You'ld stumble,
You'll fall right back down."

Oh they're so cold,
And oh they have their show sold,
But hey wait,
Isn't it too late for me to be told?"

I don't know anymore
If what say
Is what I mean

I don't know how
I try every time
But I fall right back

I don't know why
I have to dream
Everything I can't have

I don't know if
I have lost something I had
Or have I gained

Another wish of mine
Just drifts away
I have become a destruction

It's been a trip that you got me through,
You think you left me there,
But I'm right here with you,

You're the dark night that the poets adore,
But I'm the flashlight,
You'll need me when you're here all alone,

You know when you're caught up in your nightmare,
I'll be here by your side,
I'll look after you, you don't have to care,

I see a deep black sea in your eyes,
You've always been that way,
But I'm all ready to sacrifice

I try my best to be better again,
I take all the happy pills I can,
But they keep pulling me down the ladder,
And it only keeps getting sadder,

New place , new people,new time,
They just keep stealing away my smile,
And I've been hurt once more,
"I won't feel this again." though I had swore,

They have the power, they have the chance,
Why do they always look at me with askance?
What do I have, an emotional heart?
I must have played some unnoticeable part,

I am the one who's hurt, writing a poem,
Where should I go to escape ,to roam?
They must have forgotten the way they make me feel,
Now c'mon ,tell me none of this is real,

I write what's inside,this is not just 'scribble',
When I try my best to keep you out of any trouble,
Why do you leave me alone to hurt ,to rot?
Why do you think I am something I'm not?

Hey ,I am not so strong to take this all,
I try to be there for you but you let me fall,
Can't you see the girl behind the face?
You've wrapped my soul in a filthy black lace,

Here I am doubting myself in my bed room,
I am the flower that can now never bloom,
Tonight even these four walls are so quiet,
Thanks for instilling me with this fear and fright

You know the moment
When you look at the sky
And feel like drowning

You know the moment
When you laugh so hard
And your heart breaks inside

You know the moment
When you fly so high
And you almost feel like falling

You know the moment
When you're surrounded by people
And all you feel is **lonely

All I am is ugly,
All I see is ugly,
All I feel is ugly

I wish that I could explain,
What I feel when I look into the mirror,
I wish I could make you see,
How intensely it pulls my trigger,

I walk this path alone tonight,
There's disgrace,no friends are around,
I might have to jump this time,
If you're there, why don't you make a sound?

Do you know too? What it feels like,
When the ones you love drift away,
Do you know too? How much it hurts,
When no one smiles when they hear your name,

I am, from where the stars will shine on you,
But I can't touch them for now,
My skin is ugly and it's hateful,
You wouldn't want this oddity to grow,

With my baffled thoughts I return to my bed,
I don't want to do this, but I have to,
With another complex day ahead,
I close my eyes, hoping this would end soon

In this world
Full of broken dreams
I asked the silence,
"Have you ever been hurt?"

It came close,
For all I could hear,
It murmured something,
In my ear,

"People shout,
They hurt me,
They speak the worst,
And they break me."

I starred,
As long as I could see,
But gone was the silence again,
How could this be?

I imagined,
Everything breaking,
The voice of people,
And the faiths shaking,

Everyone speaks
And every heart can be shattered
Why hurt like this?
When we can be better?

Christopher
Still thinks of her
He keeps blaming himself
He can't imagine a life without love


He keeps thinking about that night
When nothing went according to his might
He has to suffer
For she was his only pride


This loss is a tragedy
His life is so lost in all this agony
If only she was here
He must have felt like a king after victory


The city lights make no difference
So around his heart,he builds a fence
People all around crack jokes
As he seems to be losing his sense


He shouts but no one to hear the cries
He calls her name as in Heaven,she sighs
He wonders if there's a way,
So at night in the dark, up in sky, he flies

I don't want to think about my past,
Who doesn't know? It's not going to last,

Hiding my pain, I put on my gown,
Wondering if I ever could get out of this town,

When I reach the ladder to go up,
Something pulls me back with a struck,

I walk into the marquee of this freak show,
'I am the odd one' is what I come to know,

The carousel takes me back to the day I first rode,
Since then I have been going round and round and nothing more,

"Is this a nightmare?" is what I think,
"No" , says a clown with a mysterious ,atrocious blink,

I run as fast as I can, far away from there,
But the horror won't let me go, it's always here

Memories haunt me on my way to life,
Help me –I guess I'm not doing it right

I shut the door and let the demons play,
They said, "This time we have planned to stay."

So I sat in the corner of a sickening black room,
And I let the voices in my head to bloom,

Heaven, for the demons,the night had become,
As I watched them with knives,offering me some,

I prayed to God to get me out of there,
"Thee soul is ours.", is what they cleared,

Eventually, I saw a light at the end of pain,
It was mercy waiting for me down the lane,

Some called me a 'hero',others said 'wicked',
But who was to judge,when I had won the ticket,

For I know that for every tear,there is a sorrow to fade,
For every dark night,there is a promising bright day

She was waking off the beach,
Trying to laugh,trying to speak,
But there's something wrong,
She must be holding inside the tears,
Let me take a look ,now let me see,

  She looks into the mirror,she's displeased,
It seems as if she's a disease,
But look at that soul,
I think there's only fear and insecurity,
Can we help her? Can we,please?

She tries to do the best she can,
But she still falls down ,oh Sam!
Staggering through the hallway,
She thinks,"Well, now how bad?"
   I hope there is something special for her, like a man,

She wanted to be alone tonight,
And sat there in the corner of her room, with no light
I think she has taken enough of it,
Somebody has to stop the tears, and I
might,
But hey, will she finally feel alright?

I had to be there
For the time being

I had to say something
In lieu of waiting

I had to hold the hand
Which was longing

I had to love
And not let any breaking

I had to have him
So his heart could stop bleeding

I had to be gone
Before the next morning

I am just a girl
But I had to be healing

I see people
Heart broken
Just like I have been

I see them
I watch them cursing love
Trying to move on

You know
Why there is
All this misery?

Love
Is a healer
Only when minor

It cures the broken
Perfects a smile
And keeps you hoping

But love itself
Is not perfect
Just like you, just like me

It may leave you broken
Haunt your smile
Steal your desires

But let's not
Put the blame on love
Lets not bury it

For it deserves a chance
Like you and me
Let's keep its traces

Though
You need not to
Depend on love

For your happiness
Should lie within
You, your God and music

Be the thunder
To the stormy nights
The rainbow after a rainy day

And to me
This and only this is
The truth about love

Sitting in her bed
Listening to her favorite records
She looked like a fragile angel

But the bedroom walls knew
They knew how much strength there was
Behind that feeble face

And the pillow was almost a witness
To every night when she was alone
Singing songs of death

Look closer
Maybe you'll see something behind those eyes
Maybe you'll see a **griever

I see seasons come and go
But I just sit there
With my heart
So cold

Nothing's changed
But the time of fall
It's a journey
After all ~

Still sensation
But the varying despair
The flower of love will
Finally repair ~

And then it rains
With the blood of pain
For these seasons
Sing your name ~

Incomplete
Untamed
Invincible feelings
I carry ~

With a heart
Heavy with the weight of
Prolonged
Intense
Fierce pain ~