Christopher is utterly wrapped within the cocoon of his own mind. One can vividly see him as he struggles with understanding what others think, feel, and believe. Therefore, his self-identity, his idea of himself, is practically the same as his sense of the outside world. 2. Unlike everyone else, Christopher does not seem to care about being identified by other people. He prefers to spend his time by his lonesome, it somehow keeps him more connected with reality which is something he struggles with. 3. Christopher is quite an observer, he views the world in a distinct, but a unique way. 4. Christopher never uttered the word father, for it was heavy on his tongue, like heavy rain on a bleak midnight. His mother loved him, or ruined him and called it love. He cannot tell the difference between these two things. So whenever he loved someone, he’d unintentionally break their heart, and utterly ruin any chance of love. 5. Christopher beloved was in the shape of a knife, so he used her to write this story. The gushing blood was his ink, and the tears were his last silent screams
A short story.
What’s crazy but sensitivity deeply hidden?
He wants to dance but laughs instead, comedy killing? He loves to love but hides under hulk like behavior, So up and down, whatever direction he goes he’ll stay as under cover lover, He’s called Christopher.
Maybe I was just supposed to meet you
The -ship we have I forced upon us Upon you When I step away You remain still When I stop You fade away This was me this whole time? That doesn't matter now! It is early, still... Magicians are: Rulers of destiny Masters of will Their fate is theirs to determine through their own power Magicians are never in love Love obeys no command Love is stronger than... Love is more important than one could ever be Love hates magicians © Christopher F. Brown 2018
I’m not here to make you feel comfortable, safe, or secure
I’m not here to give a ****, a like, or a **** I am here because I am Whatever that means that is up to me you don’t get to Define any part of that or me You don’t get to stumble across my path looking down at screens Then feel, mad, sad, or whatever way you feel when I will not be moved I am here because I am Whatever understanding I gain it’s through my study in solitude or syndicate You don’t get to instruct or borrow from any part of my lesson(s) © Christopher F. Brown 2018
Warfare the only thing you bring to me You challenge my thoughts You force my feelings You invoke my emotions I have to create contingency plans Because of you I have to keep a distance Because of you Because of You I have to rearrange too much of Me I cant **** you I can only war with you the only thing you bring to me © Christopher F. Brown 2018
I am not done yet
I have not passed on My back may hurt it still moves The sloth in my movement may be caused by pain Id rather feel pain than not feel My heart may be tough and leathery it is not cold it is not stone My laughs are deeper longer My love is harder stronger When I do speak it is often low there is no need to shout there is no need to comment on everything every thing is not my concern What I have now is knowledge What I know now is how to filter information © Christopher F. Brown 2018
He is Fire
Fire like mine Fire I could have been Fire I should have been Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda He didn’t waste time He didn’t waste his fire looking for love in clubs in gyms on-line Everywhere in-between He didn’t waste time He didn’t waste his fire getting his heart broken getting cheated on deferring his dreams for a fantasy crafted by others He let his fire shine and burn I hid mine away the only heat felt from mine was by proximity the only light that shone from mine was in comparison to shadow He would never be like me His fire is not like mine He is smart enough to not bother with things that would take away He is smart enough to protect his fire from the water He would never fall in love with it He is not me His fire is not mine His fire is Better His fire is not as hot as mine He can selectively burn with his mine can only be contained by that which would try to destroy it I don’t regret me I don’t regret my fire that is not the point I want to protect him his fire The way no one protected me my fire © Christopher F. Brown 2018
Never been to Mars
Never allowed myself to loiter On A street I did not belong Seems Ive only ever met The many multitudes of grown boys children really Claiming to be men They are good for Were good for Childish things What else can a child do but think of games What else can a child do but play What else should a child do but think of themselves I think I'd like to go to Mars Hell Maybe even the Moon Any place Seems like it would be better than this street I live on It sometimes seems like an adult playground All the children around here Pretending Pretentious Never seen Mars Maybe the Moon © Christopher F. Brown 2018
If the Messiah they need is a woman
Convince them only men are holy. If the Messiah they need is black Convince them only white is holy If the Messiah they need is same gender loving or non-binary Convince them only heterosexual is holy If the Messiah they need is proud Convince them only humility is holy If the Messiah they need holds knowledge in their left hand Convince them the right hand is holy If the Messiah they need has a ten point plan of righteously defending one's self Convince them that the only holy answer is nonviolence. If they ever one day happen to believe that they can define: Self By Self Through Self Of Self Convince them that holiness is only attainable through a message and belief of: Holy and selective Prosperity Holy and selective Favoritism Holy and selective Elitism If they ever happen to look in the mirror and one day love all that they see Convince them that the holy standards of beauty deems every and all that makes them what they are ugly If they ever happened to one day realize that the Messiah that they need is within all of them as a United People Convince them that the holy Messiah can only lay in one person per generation and then publicly assassinate the person that they believe Or you have chosen To be their Messiah. © Christopher F. Brown 2018
You've found that hole in your soul
Nothing fills it The smallest things Seem smaller The largest things Seem smaller still Why won't anything fit Why won't anything fill You've found that hole in your soul Nothing fits it Its not like its a predator The things it consumes You've already forgotten about Silently it exist Taking only what you've sacrificed through neglect Taking only what you've left to languish It would be better if it was a hunter If it was taking Then you could remember Then you could © Christopher F. Brown 2018