He reaches out
Old hands
Worn down by treks of knowledge
Across the body of earth

He gazes out
Open eyes
Made bright by staring upon
Beauty far and wide

He speaks out
Soft voice
Made gentle by telling stories
Of wondrous adventure

Why attempt to claim the moral high ground
When your pathetic argument holds no sway
Why march to war with the rebel bound
In the uncommon disposition of yesterday
Why hold pretentious personality
When acceptance is based on adaptation
A pyramid scheme brings fatality
To your pseudo-martyr nation
Unwarranted non cooperation
With the voices of the future
Speak without brainwashed sedation
And unravel your poisoned sutures
Your self proclaimed image of authority
Is unwanted within the confines of freedom
You back a mentality of all encompassing conformities
When the generation of today can't see them
Your hubris lacks the willingness to act
Yet you call yourself Ole-Times-Hardened
And the simple depressing fact
Is that your ignorance cannot be pardoned
Leave while you hold a handful of passion
Before it is lost in the folds of time
Because dignity with age is not everlasting
You are but another one track mind
Whether or not you care to move forward
The world turns on an invisible axis
There is always a new world order
And living life requires emotional taxes
So be willing to express and voice opinions wholly
But like many lost souls before you say
Wander unknown territories carefully
Because the past is lost with today

His mother's dumb face
His father's cold drinks
It's all fun and games
'Till the happiness sinks

He'll walk straight inside
Not announcing his presence
Stare fear in the eye
And inhale killer's essence

Walk up to his room
And open his door
Foreshadowing doom
That box on the floor

Within it? The metal
He stole it for fun
The steel 'shakes his settle'
In the form of a gun

He tugs on the hammer
And pulls back the slide
Waits 'till the clamor
Of anxiety subsides

Remembers the beatings
His father would lay
Remembers the feeding
Of lies in the hay

He waltzes down stairs
With the gun in both hands
At the very last step
He nervously stands

He won't just say 'blam'
And pull back the trigger
His thoughts make a plan
A process much bigger

Confronting them both
At the small kitchen table
He didn't once choke
When he said "I am able"

He pointed the gun
But his resolve soon shattered
And in shame, shot himself
Saying first "It won't matter!"

His plan had recoiled
But his mission still stood
As the bullet hit oil
And caught fire to the wood

And the flames licked and climbed
And the roof burned and caved
And the family died
In the fiery blaze

And the town down the road
Never did realize
The church choir sings odes
And a young lady cries

But never word flew
Of the evil within
'Till the killers mind slew
Just a boy and his kin

Memories crumble to dust
Bricks of remembrance
Thrown angrily from the windows of my eyes
Shattering the glass seven floors up

At the bottom
The feet of those on the first floor
Had to walk on shards of regret
A treacherous, ****** movement
And in the end got no where
But back to the stained carpets
Screaming inside the walls
Of a house
Not a home

The second floor
Tenants fell to their knees
Begging for the first floor
To relax
The commotion was just
Too much too handle
Rattling the weakened, buckled walls

The third floor
They were frightened from the up rise of chaos
Got sick to the stomach
And doubled over in pained retrospect
Because they left their windows open
And swallowed air
Instead of pride

The fourth floor
Was broken beyond repair
Cracked right down the middle
Blood seeped from it's fissured walls
Like an arrow wound to the heart
Those inside sprawled in puddles of conflict

The fifth floor
Was out of bandages
For the fourth floor
They used them for mouth covers
So the sixth floor above couldn't smell
The lies on their breath

The sixth floor
Always did hold a nose in the air
But that couldn't hide them from trouble
They were stuffy, and often full
As though the tears that often ran down the bridges
Were more than the emotional pressures
They could carry at once

The seventh floor
Was tired of everything
Constantly red and with teary eyes
They stared down upon the whole scene
Disgusted with the image presented
So they threw the newest memories out
And watched them crumble to dust
Seven floors down

Yeah, the fool who accepts blindness
It's tricky wandering through the darkness
With bare feet

That **** will get you hurt
You might bleed

But don't confide in me
I'm done being an outlet for you
And you, and you too

Do things on your own
You need independence
Not help

Oh yeah
Bandages are behind the mirror

Perfect is worthless seen through the eyes of a serpent
A word I'm sure is uncertain, spoken from any one person
I've come to realize earth is a curve of choking emotions
Seventy one percent ocean but see, the fire is the potion
We keep a flame in our hearts just to keep away the commotion
Forsworn and broken, stuck to a preconceived notion
We heat the coldest of parts but we don't foresee the explosion
We've chosen hate over love and we let our minds remain frozen
We're hopeless roamers and loners subject to being torn open
We stumble through the black, hands splayed blindly groping
For some sort of hope although we're lost in the ***** mess
Of pretending to be alive, free and full of alertness
Too often we keep our hearts rib-caged and vested
Let nothing come between our minds and this message
A vestige of optimism found underneath a veil of depression
But being hopeful for a future is a subtle transgression
To the laws of the present where we learn only one lesson
"Sever the bonds between eyesight and connection"
Dissecting human nature and replacing it with technology
Follow me I'll show you our true psychology
We seek a light in a cave but digging used archaeology
We advance not through screens, but 'forward ideology'
We accept a flawed system and in return are plagued harshly
By the 'gods' of the world because 'goods' are placed sparsely
Mark my words, the hand of time is our only true opponent
We believe the hand of 'him' to be the earths advancing component
So we fake smiles and play this game but we don't own it
We just bought it of the market that we created unknowing
Listen because I am showing independence in words
Not trying to preach, I just want you to learn

This is the hanging thread
A long string of
Unspoken words
The rope that at one end
Holds down hearts
And at another
Coils around your
Wrist

Perhaps you weren't awake
During the moonlight hours
Looming reflections of today
Glass to my feet

This is the part
Where I write all the emotions down
And outwardly spew blame
Towards the victim of my insecurities
Whom I see as their
Beginning

I
Me
My
We?

I came home today with
A basket of metaphorical flowers
Chrysanthemums and Roses
All the pretty colors of fake
Yet you saw only the thorns
Of our punctured reality

In bleeding hands is the trust
Heart, soul and mind
As well as
Blood-borne illness

All items are
Brittle, apt to break
Yet I bloodied these fingertips
You did not
Toil

You only whisper to me anymore
Still cannot conceal the scent
Of displeasure
Taste
Of bile

Here are the musings
I have failed to intone even softly
Under my breath
For you fail to listen
While you are
*Awake

There was this feeling
That the people once called love
They described it as
Untouchable
Unavoidable
Spiritual
Sensual


Life


A storm basked along the horizon
On one particular day
Supernova came
And she told the world to be still
And

know

And everything was quiet after that

There was the color red
As heat bled
From open sores in the sky
And mercy
Pulled a knife from it's spine

Those unscathed
Would often shake fists in the air
Heads turned upwards
And open voices to a stranger
For whom they blamed
Armageddon

Not a whisper responded
Nor did despair
Cease to charge

Love no longer had a place
Alas, hatred had eaten her heart
All that is left
Is but a husk
Of an echo
Of a memory
It is nothing





*Dust

You are like
Something along the lines of
Hopeful sips of light
A drink to keep me up
All night, because the dark
Never minded company

Or maybe a line in a song
That goes
"I'll tell you one thing,
It's always better
When we're together"
Because the truths
Are in the music
Of love and life

A bolt of lightning
Across the rainy skies
Of this lonely state
A rebellious ember
Who sits, smoldering
With the heat of held hands
Even when the others have
Gone cold

A free spirit
Who strums out the chords of;
Can this be so?
And the question isn't yours
Because you already played;
Of course
And the smile that crosses my face
Is as genuine as
The words that follow

Just as a prince will battle
For his princess
In far off lands
Dulling his blade on bones
Of lust and envy
I will see you
And know that the most
Difficult valley to traverse
Is worth my time
If when I come to the end
You are there

Once again
I am brought to reality
With another smile
And throughout my head
Run the same words
Over and over and over
A beautiful song on repeat

*I love you

You can say you know me
Every little idiosyncrasy, habit and ritual
That you see me do

You can say you know me
Based on the demographic
Of the people I am with

You can say you know me
Because you have watched me cry
And heard me yell in anger

You can say you know me
Because you gave birth to me
Because you created my existence

But until you can say
"I held you rocked you fed you,
sang to you hugged you loved you"

Then you will never know me

I have failed again
Doomed to live out my existence
In a shell of betrayal and self afflicted heartbreak
Knowing that I wasn't enough for you
Knowing that, despite my problems
Somewhere, two souls meet in infinite embrace
And the sword of jealousy pierces my knotted guts

Every time I hear your name my body shakes
This pain is no longer emotional
It strikes my core and shatters all I have built
My knees weaken and my chest tightens
My head hurts and my tears flow without asking
It happens randomly throughout the day
My collapses are uncontrollable

Stupid things remind me of you
Like bikes, and guitars, and cigarettes
And Law and Order and Friends and Eric Clapton
And pipes and aches and organic food
And kisses and touches and holding you
Mostly holding you with the reassurance of your voice
Saying I will never lose you

And I didn't

Age eighteen, living life as a low-middle class suburban jobless fool with a confusing relationship and a five year old boy. I have nerve damage to my left arm, smokers cough and lesser (haha) alcoholism.     I guess it's macaroni (not Kraft, way too expensive) and cheese (nothing fancy) tonight. I should apply for a new job tomorrow, but I'll probably have something else to do. Besides that, I have no clothes suitable for an interview anyway. My hair is a wild mess. From behind you might think, "****, she doesn't have an ***..."
...but from straight on, you might think, "****, he looks like Slash."
I do not look like Slash, by the way. At least I think not. Maybe with the right hat, but then, I am way too short. I can sing like Slash, though.
I learned to use my voice like, five years ago. How old was I...?
I can read like Joseph Ogle. I love reading. I must have been younger when I started reading good material. Must have been a good few years ago...
I can draw like Dali. I think I found him out in Middle School...
I can play piano like ******* Mozart. I picked up piano earlier...
I can write like...
...well, writing is so unique that comparing myslef to anyone is insulting to both.  
Anyway, it's my raw talent, skills that I have owned and honed that drives me to be more.
They say you have to deal with the hand life gave you, but life decided to give me dice, and a couple chance rolls. I may still have a few left. For as long as I live, I will deny and refute the notion that once you lose everything, you should just give up. I have lost. You can talk to me all day about how sad your life is, and how depressed you are, but unless you do something to change your quality of existence, then you're going to roll snake eyes. Snakes bite, friend.
I got a lucky thirteen on my plate. I am content to keep, but I could keep going.
What do you have?

Together in relative harmony we stand, unarmed and more powerful than any weapon.
Here we are grounded, dismissing the cries of discrimination.
Torn apart, yet we’re still standing as one, even though this barrage of open hatred scars our hearts.
Shining through the darkest days, and finding solace in the fires of inhumanity.
Huddled as though to escape cold souls, whose poison is potent enough to blister not only our ears, but our spirits as well.
It is in this closeness that we find refuge from the beckoning reality.
Desperate minds, lost in the confusion of our segregation.
With the words of the evil resounding in our heads, and the hands of the hungry around us, we will rely on our fortitude and move on toward a brighter horizon.
With our eyes set upon a future of unity, and our hands raised in a salute to peace, we will unveil solidarity and the strength of our voices will ring from every mountainside.

A four year old child
And growing so fast
Conceived from a wild
Relationship past

His mother a girl
Of only sixteen
Placed into this world
By alcohols dream

A man is his father
Of around thirty three
The girl? The mans daughter
They share the same genes

Conception absurd
Illegally bound
A four letter word
A bitter sound

Distance

























Given to birth loneliness


                                                    ­                                                    Space


Lie­s fill gaping mistrusts
Between

Barriers pierced
Walls of flesh sing
R  h  y  t  h  m  i  c

Beating

B
  l
   e
    e
     d
       i
        n
         g

Soul to soul
Alas, not heartfelt
Sinister lurks behind
Veils of deceit

One bond
          Two chances
Three minds
          For what?

The end
Unanimous
Defeat

Love is
                                 Wither
Love is
                                 Perish
Beautiful poison

Lust is
   Three

Lust is

Lust
    
        *is

Singing simple subtle silence
Vibrant vain vindictive violence
Worried withered wanting waiting
Hurried hither haunting hating
Picture perfect painted pouring
Body bedded blatant boring
Couples cadence carpet carried
Vivid violet voices varied
Naming noises nothing noted
Blaming boiling brooding bloated
Hurried hither haunting hating
Worried withered wanting waiting

A fall into obscurity...
From so whole to ethereal...
From flesh to forgotten...
Tossed away as though existence was meaningless...
As if achievements were noted, only to be subsequently ignored...
From vibrancy to a dull, pale gray...
From an assertive stance to surrendering, submissive...
From so full of energy, to being bereaved of all motion...
From braced to vulnerable...
From down to earth, to celestial...
Please, remember me.
I wish never to be forgotten.
I wish to remain as notable in death as I am now.
May I leave my mark...

She tried not to move
As they found their pleasure
Her being so mute
Was a cautious measure

They took their sweet time
As they pressed their advance
They soured her mind
With their bitter "romance"

The violent utensils
A finger, a knife
Her mind was the stencil
That drew out her strife

The notion of fears
Like an oncoming tide
She tried to stop tears
But they wouldn't subside

Her "sisters" so sordid
Left her ****** and bruised
She lay feeling morbid,
Scared and abused

**** that stupid tent.
**** your ******* guitar, and **** my basement. **** the house you used to live in, and **** current residence.
I had given everything, so **** your empty hands offered in apology.

I wanted her to live. I wanted to escape reality with her. To go somewhere peaceful. To find solace outside of the usual myriad of sounds and sights.
I wanted to take those little pills and find freedom like I always did, and so did she. So did she. So did she.
But there is no freedom, only a lack of personal imprisonment. It is ironic that our vision of "freedom" was enough to **** us. Poison. Pills. Little white pills. And a bottle of liquor to wash them down. To drown them.
So together we "escaped" reality's "prison" into the vast expanses of our hallucinations.
One more. Last one. Promise. **** that doubt and replace it with a little white pill.
Take a swig. Take a gulp. Take another. Let's make this crazy.
One more pill. Last one. I swear. Laugh with me. Drink with me.
Laugh with me.
Hey, hey, it will be fine, we're done. We're done. We're done so just relax. Float and fly, feel that high. Lay down and rest.
We should have stopped earlier.
We should have stopped earlier.
You know, we should have stopped earlier.
I am sorry. My bad.

So later comes and goes. She sits on the porch, smoking a cigarette. Smiles, all smiles. She is high, but she operates well.
I light a cigarette of my own.
I breathe in the smoke, let it coat my lungs. Watch it disappear as I exhale. She says something funny, and I laugh. She laughs, I laugh. It's hilarious.
She lives.
She lives.
She lives.
Unfortunately, that is a false reality. I give you the fake version to staunch the bleeding of insecurities and emotional detriment.
You see, I have mislead you. Fake. Fake. So fake, and how I wish it were not.
She never smoked that last cigarette. I guess to her, life was unimportant. Worthless. She was not seeking attention this time. She intentionally overdosed. She convulsed and died in front of me. I watched her swallow white after white and I didn't stop her. Her small framed body of innocence turned into an animal. Neglected, starved of love.
She is dead.
She is dead.
She is dead.
She will never exist beyond my memories. Beyond my dreams. Beyond her phantom visits to my vision. I am being followed. Stalked. Haunted. Chased. Hunted for a guilt trip.
Later, it's blade to flesh. Bottle to lips. Bleeding, regretting, wishing, screaming.
Anger, self pity, despair, depression, descent.
Cornered, frightened, spiraling into madness.
Welcome. It is with great pleasure that I invite you into my life.

Do you know what it's like?
To be imprisoned
In the past?

I am
Locked up in a cell
Of unforgiving memories
And mental stains I tried to hide
And blood underneath
My fingernails
And I just can't
Scrub it all away
I just want it all to end

This *******,
Nonexistent road of endless
Turmoil and boiling hatred
And emotional leakage
I am so
******* lately
And I just don't give a ****
About the things
I used to give a **** about

Have you ever just
Not cared
Awakened by hostility
And sedated with
"It'll be alright"
No, *******
It won't be alright, okay
Because it's not worth my time of day
To pretend
Like the little things don't matter
Because they do

They really do

Here he hoped
Only to illustrate
The bone chilling
Silence
With his detached, deflated
Account of life

Fingers and nails
Bloodied from
His public outcry
So fierce
But reform never
Followed

The clamor that rang
In his hears
Was in response
To the chemical covered
Words spoken to him

He is propelled to act
For attention
To curb his sickening
Self inflicted abuse

And his affliction
Leaves sores that
Could put him out
Of life in this world

Fingers eaten by anxiety
One by one
Because the knives no longer
Relieve him

Criss-crossed with cuts
Knuckles swollen
And these days
You can scarcely find
A smile anymore

His eyes
Turn away the most
Powerful men
Like he has
A special disease

His arms
With their maze of cuts
Have a time limit
Before they paint
The path before him
In acid

Each wound represents
A chance for a new
Beginning
Or an end

He just gave in
And forgot himself
Lost himself
Down in the damp, foggy
Recesses of his mind
And lifted the dead
Happiness
And threw it out

He the "Architect of pain"
Built within his mind
The killing room

No longer
No further
No wonder

I have lit the candle
Hoping for the warmth
Of trusting you
But I ****** around
And the flame died
So I got stranded

My blood is green with envy
My teeth chatter with anger
Foolish lies that tear me apart

Passionate harmony
Turned to
Emotional dissonance

But is the battle
Truly within me
Because all I see
Is your mistake

I waded in the river of hope
Waiting for you
Got my feet wet
But the cold touch of hindsight
Slithered across my toes
And I jumped out
Afraid of something new

So, I guess that I'm grounded
Wonder what that entails
Just don't act all dumbfounded
When your punishment fails
Take away my car keys
Okay, see if I care
It's funny you see...
Because you made me a spare
Tell me to stay inside?
Ha, like that'll stop me
With my screen opened wide
Out my window, I'm free
Ground me all that you want
You can't faze me, so stop
Oh no, no wait please mom!
Don't take my laptop!

Sitting here on the rough rooftop
Shingles overgrown with moss
Knees pulled to my chest
Inhaling the sweet toxins
Of a cigarette
Pressed between withered fingers
That feel the need
To hold onto something
As if it were everything

Wind runs through my hair
And my eyes stare longingly at the stars
And they stare back

My ears pull in the sounds around me
The whispering winds
The silent moonlight playing
A simple tune
In stark contrast
With the dark symphony in my head

So I try to synchronize with the
Beautiful orb
As it's song
Progresses to a module tone
Of a more complex melody

He the boy
A ******* slave
He the boy
No one can save
Title this: "Experience"
And place it in his grave

He the boy
The hand denied
He the boy
The terrified
Leave him to his shattered mind
His sanity has died

He the boy
Who lived and fought
He the boy
Who always thought
Words would mend his broken heart
For only love he sought

I remember tasting something like spring
Or so it led me to drool and believe
It was more of just a memory, I suppose

They say that memories are a reflection of insecurities

I say, remember

At a time, there was euphoria, and in my ever present curiosity, I dove into this enigma, only to find that the depths of the ocean are unimaginable

Unfathomable

I pondered here, for many years, often in retrospect, but never once in the now

For the future was bleak, but the past was pleasure

I taught myself how to swim, in the flow
But I swam in reverse

I remember spring like it was yesterday
Standing bold, silhouetted by the winter

I remember the smile like my own, and the touch like warm water
The brush like a soft orange

And in these memories I am consumed

But here, I am content to dissolve

Yo, when you get tired of me
Do me the courtesy of not saying good bye to me
Let me pass silently
I can't stop these thoughts they enter violently
And they're dividing me
Two seperate heads of an emotionally idle beast
You'd be surprised to see
How hard a ******* bites their teeth
When they're told to go left and its right they seek
Come on ******* knife your beef
You start some stupid *** **** don't leave it incomplete
You leave the scraps on the table then it's indescreet
You bet your map on a bible cuz you treasure the sheep
And now you pass along the cycle of the ill and the weak
You feeling the heat?
Are you truly willing to bleed?
If our ideals are not the same then who's the sinister seed?
And can you say without a doubt we are the pinnacle breed?
And then to what do we amount if we're such intricate beings?
With such a stigma on our heads we're illegitimate kings
We're so addicted to our skin and yet we're bigoted fiends
We've come so far at the expense of all the primitive things
You drink water from a sink you don't sit down by a spring
Hey you can talk till you're blue and I'll still believe that you're lying
Your idol is the reason that our humanity's dying
Give me one good reason I'd take your word over mine
I'm my own God. I'll turn your ***** water to to wine

Yeah
I truly care for the meek
Cuz they'll inherit all that's left when leaders bury the peace
It's scary to see
Ground zero is well within your territory
Clown heros are in ya head when you sleep
Poppin pills because the will of the wolf is dead to the sheep
Several prophets stole our hearts when intelligence fell asleep
You tellin me Hell is deep?
Have you heard the devil speak?
I had passport to the underworld when I turned seventeen
I don't need a ******* book to tell my heart what to fear
I don't need a helping hand when all my days turn to years
Freedoms just a plan without the ***** to adhere
Or the knowledge of peers
See how they interact to a tear
You're stuck alone in this world if you try to follow a path
Under the shadow of a book written thousands of years passed
How could you eat the plate they fed you ***** twice and not ask?
Hows it okay to own a slave but its a sin to love a man
How could you take a palm without even checkin the other hand
Keep in mind we're in his image as we plunder your land
Settin thunder to sand
Tearin **** asunder and we dont understand
Now you wonder why we openly mad
Without a reason to believe this world is nothing but sad
And so they offer you a lie so it don't look it don't look half as bad
How long will it last?
Not sure, but the past is the pass.
I'mma live it to the fullest till they bury my ***

© 2016 Temo Larrabee

I'm a genuine poet
Some flaws here and there
To my parents I owe it
How I wish they could care

There is pain and I show it
Hide it I wouldn't dare
It will **** me I know it
It is lurking somewhere

Inner light I must grow it
I will embrace the glare
I am no longer stoic
I am no longer scared

Lust to the brink of insanity
Paying no heed to your vanity
A drink to the lips
A swing of the hips
Waiting is just a calamity

Fingertips warming your skin
Exciting those feelings within
Lay back on the bed
Let desires be fed
Is your head yet beginning to spin?

Sight has been stolen
We're robbed of our sounds
your pride has been swollen
We're lobbed out of bounds

Minds are abysmal
Burned in the flame
Of all that is dismal
Weakened or lame

Expecting a truth
But receiving a lie
Feeling so used
In dark ropes we're tied

Bound by a pact
Long ago we had made
Drowned in an act
That our families forbade

But once it was done
There was no turning back
A bright shining "sun"
Was the strength in my back

Feeling betrayed
Our life so delayed
Working unpaid
Happiness fades

Always we gave
Something away
Grace was not saved
Robbed of our grave

Demons haunt me from my past
Clawing me from inside out
They wish to bare their teeth at last
These monsters I can't live without

I wore a veil of strong denial
Tried to lay these beasts to rest
To keep them down was just a trial
It seems I haven't passed the test

I've grown to weak, let down my guard
Why is it so hard you ask?
I'm drink and weary, falling hard
Depression comes in a Golden Flask

Today I saw an eagle
Fly over my head
It's beauty was most regal
As white wings it spread

I noted it's appearance
As it shadowed my face
My eyes they sought adherence
In the laws of it's grace

My spirits were most high
As the creature left sight
With a soft and sated sigh
I turned quick from it's might