Twisting turning through life sometimes seen through others eyes

Living in recovery, injuries that can't be seen, but felt so deeply, crushing my soul and deflating my heart.

Forgiving, feeling, thinking clearly, seeing light and its warmth touching every part.

To see you pains me like I was right at the start, thoughts creep in weaken me like fall leaves under a strong breeze.

I tell myself I'm better now far from those days when you had me on my knees begging and pleading like everything's my fault.

That's over now.

please let me lay by your side for hours that stretch into years, we can talk about thousands of nothings that make us comfortable so we can have a lifetime of somethings with meaning.

she may feel alone left in the rain, wet with loneliness. However I am always there to hold the umbrella to keep her dry until her storms clear. I love her for who she is

she is a beautiful puzzle, a riddle wrapped in a kunundrum. she is silent as the breaking dawn but striking as lightening, twice as bright as both and illuminates a maze for our souls to mix. that maze like the puzzle she is to my senses challenges me often. just when will she see her own light and accept, just when will she see my love and solve the riddle

I have always loved you, even before I knew you i loved you. you were a thought that was imagined to be a fool's errand. until the world in its twisting converging way brought us together drawn like magnets across a short distance with a force that can't be seen but felt yet can not be denied. see you are just as you are supposed to be and I am just as I am. I accept all of who you are and everything you will become, because I love you.

belief is the strongest emotion that can be  imagined. it rises above all others, it chases fear, crushes doubt, and removes sadness. The absence of it extinguishes love, blinds happiness, and erases joy.

Cancer killing me

Cutting me out of myself

Shake the dice of life

I could it have been chance, our connection so deep it could be seen by the blind?

Are two souls spilt searching for eternity to be reunited, I can say the moment it felt complete like none other?

Hold too tightly or too loosely jt slips away, eternity is long we will see each other again.

It couldn't have been chance.

When it is dark you can use a lantern to light your way.


When its raining an umbrella can shield you from the rain.


Weather you use these things or just wonder in the darkness is a choice for you alone.


Realize you may be just cold, wet, and tired walking in circles.

She was a beacon my soul was attuned to before I ever knew what a soul was.

She met me like a lioness circling its meal

She crashed over my life and my heart like a ship forced onto rocks by the storm

We mingled intertwined like plants from the same root marking ourselves permanently for eachother

She took a turn dined on dysfunction and tragedy in seven course form never looking up to see the sun

She tossed my soul my love out her window undone used up

She fooled me as many before used for only a time until she could wade back into the comfort of her own past dysfunction like warm water to her mind it was home

You know you had the one, She tamed your soul

You could speak in thousands of silent ways

She could find you in those small moments in between

She moved you without taking a step

She was a road to love and would have been home

Now we have lost our way

Confusion today
For heartbreak from yesterday
Makes for a hard time

Consciousness sleeps in looking to the past, blinding now and removing tomorrow

Wake up break the mirrors that show the past

now it is the only place to truly live

She was drown in the shadows of a past she dare not escape.

Bound by an invisable chain, anchored, and weighting her down.

In a painful comfort of dysfunction, this chain rubbed raw places in her mind.

Like an addict in her ways, kindness and happiness slipped through her open grasp, so she could wade into the familiar waters once again wrapped in her sadness.

She was a match , My other half

She was also poison , The kind you cant get enough of

Her dysfunction mingled with mine in strange ways that broke us both

Everywhere I go

There I am I can't escape

Edit memory

She was flawed, completely; but not in the way she thought.

She was flawed in the way an artist ruins a white canvas with a beautifully colored sunset.

she was damaged, in the way the night sky is broken by the dawn

I lay here and think to myself, the most beautiful words have been written, forgotten, and learned again.

People have kissed and loved deeply only to forget their devotion and feelings seperatly they live together.

She lives as a comfortable prisoner doing hard time in her past wishing away the present and forgetting the future.

We will all relearn these lessons so many times over dont make the past your future

When good intentions and deeds are pulled like common weeds, the dismissed, like forgotten flowers past their day. Weap, because they were beautiful once and someone was happy to see them daily

All the best words have been written

Loved lived lost and forgotten in time

Only to be found by broken hearts

Marked our skin in ink

Each one with secret numbers

Now just lines I think

Her life was a play

Comedy or tragedy

I could never say

She had all of me

Completely consumed by her

There was nothing left

I am different now
All has changed for me somehow
Cant see who I was

Does she hear my cries

So far from our happy times

I still miss her touch

Draws you into her
Go don't return we are done
Closed up her heart     burn

in the maze of your soul I discovered the center was a beautiful garden, wild, unrulely and begging to bloom in the light of another. I have fallen in love with it and am happily lost there for eternity.

Memory is deep
You haunt my life and dreams now
Will you let me be

From far to when we were near I gave my heart.
I thought you were the one, it was clear.
Together my head was in the clouds like a shook snow globe.
Love so unknown, I was blind to what could be took.
Crushing me, uncovered you were a fake.
I gave you my everything and you gave me heart break.
You broke my heart, destroyed me I completely fell apart.
I couldn't of known i would still dream of you, thoughts from the start, tears rushing to my heart break.

She torments my passed

From my memories somehow

Why does heartbreak last

Her gaze touched my soul

I saw beyond all futures

A life of torment

And he gazed into her eyes like lenses peering into her soul; she was transparent. And invisible she wanted those rough, tough and hard parts to be unlovablly hidden. she did not understand why he looked right through those bits, they were as transparent to him as glass, he was not bothered. he  looked onward, inward, to her core and wispered close and softly to what was locked there; I am not of your past, I would be in your future, and i am of your now, as much as the air surrounds you I am here it is me, come out to meet me, come out and see

Joanna hurt me
She broke my heart torn apart
Now I am less whole

I love because I love you, even if it's for too little time or not longer than a life.

I love because I swore to love you the day you were made my wife.

I love you because I love you truly because you so touched my heart and intertwined our souls for my life.

I love you for my life I need you to see I love simply please see me.

Do not judge me by my appearances; hard may be soft and happy may be sad. A rich heart may lie under a poor coat and bring you into a joy you could only imagine possible. A chance taken an oppertunity missed, a life lived or one saved for its end. We are where we put ourselves and where we allow ourselves to wonder. I love you alone, with a richness I must have found in a life I was saving

she is not a thing, she is her and I am me. Shedding things and growing me she was discovered. She was not lost but she certainly was not found. twisting turning life through other people's eyes we see ourselves. she is not a thing or a drug, but I want her I need to be with her have her with me together we can be. be happy, be hopeful, be nothing but together, six it would be, but four mostly. turns and twists, off and on, up and down. when I don't see her or hear her my puzzle misses a piece, incomplete

love is a lifetime of examples of how we can overcome our fears, worries, and doubts.
It is invisible but can be seen, it is intangible but can be felt,
it is inaudible but you know it when you hear it.
at times it can seem to be extinct, and others make you as euphoric as the most powerful drug.
in the end it is only you who can choose to let it in, push it away, or accept it

she had the power to break the seas in half or my heart completely. She would say she was broken. Really she was completely what I saw in my heart. Her fuse burnt quick in a path straight to the flame in my soul which could not be undone. she is the wind on a still night invisible only to herself, but touching everything completely

Keep your heart soft even in hard times

Keep it well but give it often

Live like it is the key to happiness

Even thought it will get stained and mostly broken what is ha ing an untouched heart if it cant be shared

Broken is renewed
Honored for its damages
Better than before

please let me lay by your side for hours that stretch into years, we can talk about thousands of nothings that make us comfortable so we can have a lifetime of somethings with meaning

Time, the inbetween moments elapsed bringing you forward never back.
Love little overt victories everywhere open your heart to see them.
Life long individual forces ever changing into births and deaths of knowledge into and out of the abyss.

Love is a lifetime of examples of how we can overcome our fears, worries, and doubts

invisible but can be seen

Intangible but can be felt

And inaudible but you know it when you hear it.

At times it can seem to be extinct, and at others make you as euphoric,

In the end it is we who choose to let it see, feel, and hear our love, push it away, or accept it.

Love is for the heart
The sun is love for the soul
Love can also burn

Love is indeed art
Simple to see and embrace
A challenge erased

She was my everything until she said I ment nothing to her
Like a passage in a dream remembered
Being that the best are forgotten and relearned like lessons from our past

She had scared my heart and that will last
Shes a stranger to me now just as she wanted it
Like an old book urning to be read but forbidden to be opened
Lonely thoughts of an emptied heart are all that's left
How sad is it to be broken and not repaired

At times she had confidence and at times she felt as if she was a scrap of something used up

She felt herself to be unique not replicated alone in her problems

Although she had the power to break sadness in her words, a look or a touch

Ruin things with her smile like an artist ruins blank canvas with beautiful scenes

But in her silent struggles it became to much, she was consumed by her past

locking away her heart, and only letting it out for small moments in time.

I was captured by this girl like a ship crashed on rocks finding her in one of those rare times

She was my match, my soulmate, my truest love

Still today I miss her scares on my heart to my very soul, it will never be the same, three years later a new life in time. My heart crys to hear her name. 14364 is the number of love

My everything is
she has become to me
Nothing is missing

Love the light in the sky, moon on the clouds, the wind tickling your hair, the rain licking your skin. In a life being lived you have these things, whether you take them in or believe you are waiting, for the right time is now because time can not be saved.

Like the serenity of still water, or the space between a heart's beat, now is where she is. Now I when love grows because now is all we have