Me, but everything that isn't me
Staring through a two-sided mirror,
Broken Angel wings,
crushed up in front for the eyes to see
My own self despises me
Rising up from the depts
of my own personal hell
Red lipstick on my lips,
I feel as if I'm floating
into the wide open abyss

As I proceed to stare,
The person on the other side
can't help but to glare
Her face is a pop of cherry red,
I feel as if I'm crying
and I can't get the sound of her voice
out of my head
My brain is wired
by her hand works of thread
She knows my fears,
my weaknesses and worst enemies,
Being with her,
trapped for lonely and dark centuries

She knows the questions I don't like
she knows my enemies
And when I'm going to fight
She knows when I'm gonna get a knife,
nail throughout her skin
she can't fight back
she never wins
She's me...
but everything that isn't me

Masking the noise from the Hells below,
leaving me a new chapter to unfold
well my heart is crashing against my window pain
deadly weapons used to mutilate
down for my bloodshot eyes it rains
in my distorted reality
my soul raises up and down rapidly
my future races around the room
pasting through are deadly thoughts and fumes
of distorted people in animal costumes

I scream out for help
but not a woman nor man can hear
no longer I can't bear
the mutilated people I see and hear
I would ignore but they always reappear
right beside me in my ear
my "friends" fluctuate like a hologram
they come swing like wrecking *****
using ancient methods to destroy all

Silence
The timeless pleasures have ended,
In the trap of silence
It has began

The Devils words speak
Making me weak
For my eyes stream out
red streaks,
My future begins
To Fall apart and Creek

Silence
20 feet away
from someone standing beside me
I feel distance
Unable to hear words,
demonic voices
peek beside my ear
Unable to understand
yet,
They're Telling me my time is near

Silence
I don't cry anymore
that's the only control I have left
Physically unable to fight,
Controlling what I have left in my life,
I began to speak to Christ

I'm locked
Surround by chains
that lock me down,
Surround by pain
that destroys my name

I'm locked
No woman nor man
could ever wish for this
I'm drowning in hopelessness
If there was a way
to release this curse
I wouldn't have to suffer by
going through the worst
I wouldn't shred a single tear,
My body wouldn't ake
And I wouldn't be taken back
by my mistakes

Im locked
Destroyed by the life that is my own,
To the devil it feels as if I'm sold,
Every day gets dimmer
my life gets darker,
To God I am just his stocker

I'm locked
If I were to be given a second chance,
only then would my vocabulary
not be filled with I can't
Only then would I not count the minutes
Or count everyday life
as the witching hour
I wouldn't cower in the corner
Or write down death dates in my calendar
Like I used too

No
I would get a new chance at life
I wouldn't die by my own hand
And wouldn't say it was just a knife

If I could write one poem
fit all the emotions in
Then would everybody be perfectly fine
And not considered themselves a sin

Would life be much easier,
Time wouldn't be spent crying,
We wouldn't lie to ourselves,
because we'd be able to face reality
Without dying

If there was only one path,
instead of two
Would we be going the right way?
Would we need to pray?
that this wouldn't be a endless path?
that the path would stop,
Yet
What if exhaustion we were caught up in?
Would we died before the path ends?
And the path we were trying to walk on,
Would others be following,
behind the foot steps of you?
- Just a question

After days of hatred,
and days of sorrow
The book is closed,
no more time is borrowed

They didn't see it coming,
For they never do
This is the end,
I'm drowning in the water,
Doing flips and backbends,
No I'm not trying to get to surface
I choose not
I rather be left on the seafloor,
chained and locked

I hold my hands up to my face
Yet the demons following me in this ordinary place
I cry tears upon tears
As I know I am unable to face my fears
I rub my eyes
as my make up smears
In front of me
my demons appear

My voice cracks
as I try to speak,
They know my weakness,
Weakness of being unable to speak
I take two steps
pushing My demons out-of-the-way
My thoughts of doubt are downplayed
So Away my demons stay

Upon me are the golden doors
Where all you ever wanted is yours
In ignorance I have fallen for it again
The dreams ends right then.

It hits you in the face,
It's an ordinary place
it's called reality
Indescribably cold,
Yet nobody knows until it
HITS
You used to be an innocent soul,
naïve as it gets

Seemingly sad how it had to turn this way,
Sitting down and praying
will never make reality go away
You think there's a way
You think pills and potions,
will help a naïve soul stay

Your brains caving in,
your doing backbends
You wonder how it could be any worse,
To you,
this seemingly a curse,
In this life You realized,
God doesn't take any mercy,
For souls who wouldn't dare to believe,
And who would doubt
One of many of his own creations
Gods just trying to tell you to believe
Not in him,
but your own self you see.

I can't make you love me if you don't
I can't make your heart feel something it won't
trick of a reflection shines bright
Peaceful memories,
and purple summer skies at night
Remind me of this beauty;
I am unable to see even in light
you are my out of pure sight
Yet,
visions of you come full force
Seeming addicted to fouling me
They come

sometime I'll cry tears pure hate,
As I know I let you escape,
Escape from the light,
An into the dark

Though you act as we never met
I remember memories,
that your willing to forget
Yet the memories I remember
now seem out of place,
As I cry,
tears running down my face

I would **** just to hear your voice,
One last time
Yet
These walls that you build
Are set beyond our crossing paths
I only cares to look,
Behind your closed book
I dares not to taste
the grapes you once offered,
But look into your eyes,
And release you
from this darkness that you stand in.

Dear world,
I understand I'm not the perfect
picture you paint in your mind
Let's be kind to the truth,
I Look at my reflexion,
something isn't right
Dear world,
I'm losing my youth
never had a connection

Day to day I face rejection,
You Say there's redemption
As I see this reflection of non-perfection
I Try getting along
But there is all these objections.
You echo
"I lost connection"
Well Connection was never lost,
That path was never crossed
See world,
I don't fall for your lies and deception
Saying this world is yours,
Well where's mines?
You say see its my world,
You must play by my rules

Well one day I'll say that too,
I will one day feel the same way
Maybe because,
I'll Get you caught up in tricks and lies,
Make you feel criminalized,
In my world,
You'll be victimized
You will be called uncivilized
You won't be the perfect picture
You painted in my mind.

I speak what hasn't been spoken,
I write what hasn't been written
I open my eyes to the lightness,
Yet following me is the darkness,
I choose to turn away from both,
In hope they will
leave me in my own growth

I'm forced to face,
What must be faced
Both seeming
"out of place."

I look to the right
And there you are,
"The light."
Could you be a trick?
Being all alone "I stick"
Your beauty is unforgettable
Yet the darkness is unbeatable
The right choice hasn't been chosen,
It is out of sight.

See,
in the light,
There seems to be darkness
within sight.
You confuse me with
lies and deception
How do I follow
your directions?

I speak what has been spoken,
And write what has been written
All that can't be figured
Will forever be a thought disfigured,

Glimmer of light on my window sill
Simmering love descending from above
Universal truths bending my will
In unison with those
Who came before me

Muted voice spills
melodic symphonies from the hills
In life's battle field
Stronger I become
With neither sword nor shield

Not a word to speak
As my smile streaks
rainbow across the pavement
into open fields
My tone I speak
with "my mind"
Of valleys and mountain peaks

I will not do,
But have already done
I will not waste, blessings
Dancing to the beat of foreign drums
Not having my visions heard.

Dear ....
I mustn't question thy
But there are things blinded,
I am not able to see
We close are eyes to the darkness,
And years later; wake up to the brightness
we have the slightest clue,
Of what we needed to pursue  

Here we are "earth"
We go though thick and thin,
For us,
evil is the only way to bend,
We spend time dancing around life; like clowns
Not knowing what it is,
that will make you proud,

We suffer in crowds among crowds,
Not knowing who we are,
So we don't make a sound

But one thing that bothers me....
Is that we were put here not knowing;
Hoping to be the best we know how to be,
But we never got the info or the key
To open the golden doors that we blindly can not see
And when we can't find that key,
We our stuck in darkness for eternity
But I mustn't question thy

Perfect perfections
One woman once made a connection,
Not to me, but the world
You see,
She found the key within her complexion  
For her whole life she faced rejection,
She wasn't "YOUR" definition of perfection
Your definition of perfection,
kept her from discovering her own


You kept her captive by your desperation,
to hurt her with your words of stone
For a short period of time you destroyed her throne
But now she has a voice of her own
The words that are made of stone
You get trapped by the sound of the drone

"Perfect perfections"
Today,
She stares into her reflection,
At her complexion
And says
" I have Perfect perfections"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me."
That's the one saying that never makes him feel like dirt you see.
He gets pushed and pulled
Into dark hallways in and out of school
And gets called a "fool"
They seem to like to call him a "tool"
Because he's mentally disabled
Till this day he hates the label
He stables his skin,
For wrist cutting is the only way to Bend
  
For his friend,
She doesn't blend in
For they throw stickers stones
Knowing she is skin in bones
"She" wasn't born this way
And till this day she eats and eats
She stands over the toilet seat on her Knees
They call her "The Bulimic Freak"
85 pounds, "she is weak"

They both say life never seemed so bleak
They get made fun of just because their unique,
At night there parents kiss them on the cheeks
And they tell them,
Sticks and stones may your break bones,
But words will never "hurt you"

Today you say,
"the bottles half empty."
Simply not because you drunk half a wine bottle
But your life isn't the perfect model
You use to stand tall,
But your leaves begin to say "so long"
As if it was fall,
Yet it is spring,
And your life is dissipate
Oh though it seems

For Your life is the definition of a Dimond ring,
You care about money, and the clothes,
Not about the happiness life brings,
In Your mind its seemingly,
money, fame, and fortune

showing lack of endorsement,
It's been "me, myself and I"
We all look at you and sigh
For negative is your only thought,
In your life,
negative is the only thing you got
If you switched around the bottle is half empty,
To the bottles have full,
Life would be much more to endure

You wouldn't be able to tell if their were tears running down my face.
I'm in no ordinary place,
I'm surround in this large case
There's no air,
There is a a light above,
"I stare"
I wonder if I could be seen,
if you would care...

Underwater I am there,
I can no longer bare
My heart pounds,
As a sound of a helpless life drowns
But I will not be a mount of sand
For I will float to the top
By the time my heart stops

All I can say is she's full of deception
For it was Breaded in sand and dirt
But yet it occurred
The words didn't slip,
But fell

She says the words break up
Together in one sentence  
Till this day I feel as if I was sentenced
For I can not get over such beauty combined together,
She wears around more then a purple feather
For she was once my valentine
For her personality is free flowing
For she gathered my heart up without knowing

She is unknowingly the girl of my dreams
But dreams have to end sometime
For love no longer streams for me.

My mom tells me it will be alright,
Yet I sit and cry about it day and night
As the people in my family become out of sight
It seems that the numbers get higher
I become not the only crier
Other parts of the world are crying too
My mom tells me it's like a flue
1 million are dying every year
My heart drops, for my moms time is near
So I began to pray

When evening comes around,
I began to frown
For my stomach groans
For within the day,
Their was nothing not even on the ground
But dead body's lying around
We bless them,
for in their afterlife,
Their will be grapes and veggies in sight

But for now the rest of us starve
Did you know 20,000 die every day
And that's just children
So we must pray  
Pray for the ones that go to bed hungry every night,
Pray so in the morning there will be food in sight!

I dream about Miss. Green eyes hour after hour
Them dream gone sour
Miss. Green eyes what is it like getting inside someone's brain,
Is it just a mind game?
Well I'm the only one I can really blame,
For I shake my head down in shame.

I once loved one,
but them dreams turned in to nightmares
When I see you in my dreams all I can do is stare
Can't find any words
For it is hard to bare
Looking at you Miss. Green eyes
Are you still there?
I can say your love for me is now hate
My life was at stake
But you didn't care,
You were just there

Looking in to those beautiful eyes
It was a surprise to me,
that one day you would get up and leave
For your no longer Miss. Green eyes to me
One day I would hope for your return
But you see,
When you were gone I was let free
No longer Miss. Green eyes to me

Diamonds were made under pressure
Weather you or I made them,
in the end their something to treasure

For their hard made lives break NEVER
Hard falls may be endeavors
Yet they never surrendered
For their name is of a defender  

Their strong, and beautiful at the same time,
Some say it's hard to find
They relate to us in a kind of way
We were never clayed into being beautiful or strong,
But we were beautiful, and strong all along
For our creator made us the type of beautiful, and strong,
That's life long

I dream about a girl every night,
My visions just so happen to come to light
I know that she will soon be seen in sight,
But for now, I can only kiss this girl in my dreams

And I can easily say love is a stream
It seems to know its path,
and I know ours;
it's written in the stars,
Under the pale moon light
I can say our future,
and it never seemed so bight
Our future flys high,
Such as a kite
We always make sure it's in sight,
But really if we let go of the handle;
It would fly all night.

I sit and cry,
I could tell you why,
But you probably wouldn't care
You would just sit, and stare

Well I can not bare,
Much of any longer
I thought I would become stronger,
But that was a lie
The insides gone
I'm crying out
As the outside is a future untold,
I'm no longer a person of the word bold
I just realized the outside cold
And I'm crying out
My Life that is unworthy of such a mold of destruction
This is a beautiful face that you can not replace,
So now,
I am on my knees,
and I am pleading out
I am so much crying out
Even though you act as if you can't see me,
Just because you know you will never BE ME.
Instead of letting me float away,
Why don't you help me stay.
For I am a feather trying to find my way.

You sleep on the left side of the bed,
You always, "ALWAYS" in my head
I stay up late night, while you "sleepin"
Wondering what your "Dreamin"

You sleep on the left side of the bed
thinkin about unmarked trains ahead
I would hate for you to "dread"
So If there was a way "instead,"
I would take off all your worries "ahead"
Only if you promise,
I will never be misled

I sleep on the right side of the "bed,"
Wondering about you in my "head"
Only If I could show my love Just alittle "little" more
There would be opened golden doors
That would restore,
self hatred from the war
For we both soar together and more....

Your on the outside looking in,
It's sad how unmotivated She has been
She's making her way slowly
The ride is getting coldly unenjoyable
For Shes no longer able,
No longer stable,
No longer capable

But your just on the outside Looking in
Every now and then,
Shes wonders what you see
Is it hard trying to be who She be's?
For Once she lost the key,
She payed the cost

Without a key,
Beauty is the only thing she is unable to see
That's why when you look in the eyes of "she"
You wish to run and flee
For her eyes are contained with what looks to be;
The Red Sea  

Her heart is black and blue
For all the bolts are unscrewed
She wishes for everything to undo
But your just on the outside looking at her doom

She stands on the edge of her window sill
Two story's high,
She wonders if she will die
For all she wants is to fly
Fly high and away,
She wishes not to stay but go away

If there was away,
Or a push of a bottom,
She would have to nerves to do,
What she has never done
As her feet are on the edge;
she looks up to the sky
And asks why

Why can't I fly?
I have dreams
I wish to achieve
But to afraid to find my way
To afraid to pave my way
So I stay...

The true is right here in the details
She feeds off of what fails
Try's to rebels
For she leaves unmarked trails  

Nobody knows who she use to be
But you see,
the glaze in her eyes is a often disguises
She likes to minimize problems,
Or often hide them
She stands by what's wrong
Instead of right
Others often consider her soul out of sight

She says she might have changed a little
But others say a lot
For she's often caught up in the little trail of dots
She's says I love myself a lot,
she thought it would be easy to rebel,
But it's like hell
Her smoking **** and taking pills,
she says it kills

For she wants to change
And is hoping to start today
She wants to start a new trail,
And knows it won't fail.

Shes the angel that watches over me
For she sees my bad and good,
She understood the reasons why,
For her I never had to apologize

I see visions of her in my sleep,
She weeps away as morning creeps
The arising sun hits,
As her spirit begins split

I had trouble making it through the day
I pray that she finds her way
Or I will end up having to collapse
I take naps,
hoping to receive visions back
For old visions of her always comeback
For now she is where it is not black
"Heaven"