As her gaze was fixed somewhere
I can never be.
And her cruel words made
every sweet memory bitter.
Her words full of hatred for me,
but her action full of love.
As her smile never reached her eyes
and her heartbeat I could never find.
I looked at her
trying to find the one who loved me once
only to find someone chained to me by fate.
Who claims to love me
but never does.
I am her mirror,
Her love fed my love
and her anger fueled mine.
I shrink back to my own shattered shell
away from her accusing eyes,
away from her cold touch.
Not for revenge,
but to hurt myself before she could.
Maybe one day she would look at me
And try to find the one who loved her once
but end up with what I feel now.
Claim over someone, but not their love.
They randomly see each other.
At the store.
At the gas station, farmer's market.
She is irked by how much he thinks she's "into him"
That ego. Smh
He is intrigued by her willingness to not give into him.
She really digs him.
He will never know that though.
They'd have one another in a heartbeat
If the stubborn and pride disappeared
He greets her with a cheeky grin.
"Hello love of my life, please tell me you're looking for me?"
She rolls her eyes and speaks true sass, "does your head ever get..ya know...too heavy?"
He will play dumb to continue hearing her voice, "what do you mean?"
"Your head...well I suppose it's full of air. Can't be too heavy."
His chuckle is genuine for her cute lil evil smirk claiming her victory.
He steps in front of her, asking for more, "Are you following me then?"
She replies with hands on her hip, "oh please. I haven't seen you in 2 weeks. Get over yourself."
As much as he likes the sight of her winning, he whispered, "As long as you're under me, love."
He winked and she left.
I hope it's not the end.
What can I say?
You didn't read the warning label.
Dangling from the ceiling, fluorescence like drunken accents dripping from the tongue, the fallacies we fashion into stars and let hang in our eyes, etc etc.
You know the story. You were there,
how in that light,
we almost looked human,
the city screaming around us, the dusty night engulfing everything.
I mean, even zippers have teeth,
so slam the window shut. Slam the door. Slam and slam and slam until my name doesn't matter anymore,
your eyes like the barrel of a gun, your eyes like headlights.
I'll be doing the same,
taking pictures out of their frames. It feels different that way, a naked memory.
doing the laundry, cutting up the furniture, spotlights for the spotlights. I know
you liked to think yourself a martyr for our love. I wish someone would've shut you up,
the skin in my teeth from chasing my own tail. You never forget the taste of blood.
Piss off, darling.
I have more important things to feel guilty about.
I hate to say but I love the way
You look at me like no one could be.
I hate to like but I love the smile
You smile at me like no one could be.
I hate your voice but I love to hear
The things you say like no one could be.
I hate the touch but I love the hold
You touch my heart like no one could be.
I hate the time but I love the memories
You had with me like no one could be.
I hate to desire but I love to wish
To only be with you like no one other could be.
Do you still love me?
Does it matter?
The bright light from the stone ceiling making a
spotlight for it.
Speaking in tongues, sea foam replacing teeth and
dribbling down your chin. What a picture you make,
all false-fire-alarm and unsaid gonna make you beg.
Writhing like dancing, tastes like strawberry jam,
smeared over the hot white column of your throat,
dipping into your belly, a bit resting on the shin,
Then a hasty escape, millions of shingles making
roads of roof for you to speed down.
Calm down. It's just a dream, darling.
You're more apple jelly than anything.
It's not a knife's edge. That's too clean. It's more like
poison, all: Vomit your heart out, love. You'll feel better.
The core of this: I hate you for what you did.
I'm tired of pulling your teeth. You can lead a horse
to water, but you can't make it drink. You can lead a
horse to water and force it down the throat, hoping
too much won't spill from the mouth.
Tell me something. Did you expect this?
Tell me something, anything.
I counted the ceiling tiles in school.
I counted the seconds you'd hold my eye.
The core of this: I miss you.
pick your poison,
burn burn burn, and
snare, flesh out an idea
and let it take hold. grit
your teeth, strip the bark
or just strip instead.
cherry, rabid, dragonflies
and headlight eyes.
this dream running us
ragged, this glittering
copper and boil before
There is a piece of your skin that refuses to burn.
I keep sinking my teeth into it.
I broke your heart more than once
I hate myself for it
Now I punish myself days and nights for months
I live now in imprisonment
No glances no eye sights
No visitation rights
I live alone die alone
I live with nobody
But my own
Its better to be alone
Cause I don't want to hurt nobody but myself
I cursed myself to the place I am in
I cursed myself with the problems of my sins
All the torment thoughts
Which lock the doors
All the windows covered with 2by4s
I'm not trapped
I snapped and I deserve to be here
Covered with 4 walls darkness
And my fears
This is where I belong
I was wrong
But through so long my mind
All the happiness turns into a distant memory
Two months I've been
Gone and it feels like a century
I did this to me
Because I did this to you
Sorry for the wrong things I did to you
Out of strength
Out of breathe
Out of my mind
I can't fight you anymore
I can't keep chasing you anymore
You can have me
I'll accept you as you are
You can destroy me
You can keep me to yourself
We're back in the loop
We're back in the stream within a lake
You have me for eternity
Enjoy the last minute you have of me
This isn't supposed to hurt
The pain makes it worth it
You strangle me and leave me gasping for air
In your arms I don't need to breath
You take from me
I give you to you
You tie me down
With you I feel safe
I hear myself say "I don't want you"
I feel myself say "I need you"..