I hate to say but I love the way
You look at me like no one could be.
I hate to like but I love the smile
You smile at me like no one could be.
I hate your voice but I love to hear
The things you say like no one could be.
I hate the touch but I love the hold
You touch my heart like no one could be.
I hate the time but I love the memories
You had with me like no one could be.
I hate to desire but I love to wish
To only be with you like no one other could be.
Do you still love me?
Does it matter?
The bright light from the stone ceiling making a
spotlight for it.
Speaking in tongues, sea foam replacing teeth and
dribbling down your chin. What a picture you make,
all false-fire-alarm and unsaid gonna make you beg.
Writhing like dancing, tastes like strawberry jam,
smeared over the hot white column of your throat,
dipping into your belly, a bit resting on the shin,
Then a hasty escape, millions of shingles making
roads of roof for you to speed down.
Calm down. It's just a dream, darling.
You're more apple jelly than anything.
It's not a knife's edge. That's too clean. It's more like
poison, all: Vomit your heart out, love. You'll feel better.
The core of this: I hate you for what you did.
I'm tired of pulling your teeth. You can lead a horse
to water, but you can't make it drink. You can lead a
horse to water and force it down the throat, hoping
too much won't spill from the mouth.
Tell me something. Did you expect this?
Tell me something, anything.
I counted the ceiling tiles in school.
I counted the seconds you'd hold my eye.
The core of this: I miss you.
pick your poison,
burn burn burn, and
snare, flesh out an idea
and let it take hold. grit
your teeth, strip the bark
or just strip instead.
cherry, rabid, dragonflies
and headlight eyes.
this dream running us
ragged, this glittering
copper and boil before
There is a piece of your skin that refuses to burn.
I keep sinking my teeth into it.
I broke your heart more than once
I hate myself for it
Now I punish myself days and nights for months
I live now in imprisonment
No glances no eye sights
No visitation rights
I live alone die alone
I live with nobody
But my own
Its better to be alone
Cause I don't want to hurt nobody but myself
I cursed myself to the place I am in
I cursed myself with the problems of my sins
All the torment thoughts
Which lock the doors
All the windows covered with 2by4s
I'm not trapped
I snapped and I deserve to be here
Covered with 4 walls darkness
And my fears
This is where I belong
I was wrong
But through so long my mind
All the happiness turns into a distant memory
Two months I've been
Gone and it feels like a century
I did this to me
Because I did this to you
Sorry for the wrong things I did to you
Out of strength
Out of breathe
Out of my mind
I can't fight you anymore
I can't keep chasing you anymore
You can have me
I'll accept you as you are
You can destroy me
You can keep me to yourself
We're back in the loop
We're back in the stream within a lake
You have me for eternity
Enjoy the last minute you have of me
This isn't supposed to hurt
The pain makes it worth it
You strangle me and leave me gasping for air
In your arms I don't need to breath
You take from me
I give you to you
You tie me down
With you I feel safe
I hear myself say "I don't want you"
I feel myself say "I need you"..
i can feel everything we have slowly slipping through my fingers.
i'm trying so hard to hold on but it's like trying to stop sand from falling
through an hourglass and i just can't hold on much longer and i keep
begging and crying out for you to help me and for you to hold on but
the more i do the more your fingers open and all of the sand is falling
so quickly i don't know how to stop it.
please don't let me go
Keep dodging the shots,
With your nimble comebacks,
Keep ducking and weaving,
Around the truth.
Keep staring ahead,
Never looking at the carnage,
You left behind.
Keep avoiding my eyes,
With your simple disguise,
Keep hiding yourself,
In your smile,
Keep falling back,
On that which you know,
Keep forcing my hand,
To deal a new hand,
Keep fixing the deck,
That I own,
Keep dodging the shots,
I keep firing at you,
Because I want you to win this war.
Tear stained pillow, stale air of discord
Place your burdens on my heart, I have room for one more. Tongue laced with salt, vinegar soul, clenched fist as I look over my shoulder at each scroll. Bare a truth that can't be broken, a lie too good to notice, I promise I won't show the world how ugly you are and actually post this.. I promise.
my darkness my light
my sunshine my moon
my rain my snow my sleet my rest
leading me into slumber
you build me up and bring me down
and follow me to where I must go
through the trenches and splinters
and pleasant in-co-herence
with fragile seduction and wanting
pleasure pain and purpose
all pressing down and into me
past the pitfalls to the uprising
then leading to eyes bleeding in tears
to the downfall
the sting of sequence and silence
the rupture of repetition
you follow me there
lose me and find me
and in finding me save me
then lose me again
this is all I ask and am
all there is and all there is not
the do and the do not
beyond barriers boundaries borders bricks and boredom
beyond excitement enlightenment
passing by and on and through
lingering for a time then into monotony
back into the glare of newness again
a glimmer of hope
a glance a chance to share in all despair
beginning the brink of pure
being and beyond
into one and then two
you and me and me and you again
you—my light my darkness
my return and my departure
back to my return once more . . .