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lindsay Jun 3
I want to use my past as an excuse for the now, to explain why I am this way, so others can sympathize with me.  Then again, I don’t even want to speak of it or let others know.  My heart squeezes and my lungs fists whenever I dare to utter an excuse that does no justice.  I want to keep it a ***** little secret but scream it out at the unfortunate soul in the line of fire.  It’s better to just to say it’s not you it’s me because it really is just me.  

I swear I’m not an attention seeking person, there are just times where I need it and times that I want it.  Times where I need to be reminded I’m a person worthy of attention and times where my attention is worthy of capturing.   I need a reminder once in a while because all these why’s I’ve acquired throughout my life makes me forget.  

Sometimes I feel like the barbwire's around my heart are sharper than a roses thorn and the scars that affiliate my bones are too fragile to hold.
Johnny walker May 10
How many more people do we lose to suicide before this government opens Uts eyes to see what It's done and the misery they
For I no longer unsterstand
any more and how many more of our good people do we lose to
and what will take for government to be charged with crimes they've committed
against humanity
what Is this world
coming to when they
sit back
and allow all this  happen these crimes to be committed
judges have ruled It all to be unlawful and they're breaking law So
many more good people do we lose to suicide before we bring these Injustices to
Crimes against humanity committed daily by this government why Is It
allowed to happen
lindsay Feb 6
you didn't make me suicidal
- you were the one who prolonged the inevitable
I can't explain my feelings to you they’re  a jumbled mess,
I'm confused , I'm scared , I can't connect , my sins i can’t confess,

In all honesty I wonder how you keep from shuddering when I'm around ,
I'm cold & Broken, I’m so lost I don’t want to be found,

I can't control this urge to run - to flee down this dirt track,
My foot prints stretching in one direction never looking back,

I'll leave a paper trail of folded love letters for you to read when I’m gone,
Cause I’m not brave enough to confess to you, I’m afraid you’ll see through this facade,

I won’t return,
Back here,
my dear,

So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,

Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,

I haven't had the chance to touch the sky or even walk on clouds ,
Never been to Italy or to chicagos city crowds,

I’ve never been lost at sea or seen the northern lights,
But I’d rather wander aimlessly than stay here and fight,

I'm so far gone driving the wrong way down a one way street,
I might be behind the wheel but this cars controlling me,

If you told me to jump off a bridge id thank you for suggesting it,
Cause honestly most nights I’m just looking for an excuse to finally end it,

So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,

Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,

Waking up to cigarette burns and half drank bottles of liquor,
Light shining through the blinds, my head burns,

The sun in my eyes is like a light houses beam,
A blinking beacon ment to guide me home from sea,

But I'm already lost in this ocean of tears ,
Stuck in the waves till the storm finally clears,

I don’t think the rain is going to go away today,
So I wash it down with gin and tonic,
& hope to god I don’t choke on my *****,

At least I’ve finally had a taste of the real world,
As bitter as it tastes I don’t think I can go back to being that old girl,

So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,

Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,

Only thing keeping me motivated to move on is an old photograph I have of a boy I once loved ,

Haven't stopped moving since I read his name off his headstone, I can't even remember the warmth of his hug,

Doesn't matter where I go I still see that concrete angle with his face,
Doesn't matter how far I run, how much alcohol I drink, I can’t forget his taste,

My memories are torture, I’m stuck in their chains,
Ive cried so many tears they’ve turned into a cloud of salted rain,

It stings my skin so sweetly I’m Afraid it’s my only escape ,
Can't turn back this ticking clock, life waits for no one and I’m late,

So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,

Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,

What do you think is tougher?
The human skull,
Or a revolver?

Tell my parents I won’t be coming home.
This is an updated version of a poem I wrote when I was 17
Jiya Oct 2018
As I lie here in my bed.
Hopeless and alone.
I don’t shed a single tear.
When I read those suicide notes.
As crazy as it sounds.
They give me piece of mind.
Knowing that someone else
Has suffered greater pain than mine.
So when you feel alone.
Read a suicide note.
It just might make you feel better.
I like to express and think of dark natured things, that’s just how my mind works. So I am ok, just a bit odd. As most people on this site must be.
milkweedangel Sep 2018
I’m getting my wisdom teeth out
at the end of October
and they want to put me on ******
for the pain?
and that scares me more than the actual removal
because I read the side effects
and suicidal ideation and paranoid
is not something I need more of
just like teeth.
I’m so anxious about how I might react to it it terrifies me
Cleo Aug 2018
i should be in a war
i should be fighting
for my own freedom
the mind is not a joke
its difficult to control
i feel like crying
but whats the use
we are all in a journey
the destination
we all know about it
just do not take me yet
let me breath for a while
let me laugh like my friends
i deserve it, this is not the end yet
telling me about how life is useless
will not help
i need to be normal
the mind is not a joke

#RIP Avicii
BaileyMarie Jul 2018
It’s been a long and painful few years
and I just can’t keep wasting all these tears
I’ve learned that nothing in life is forever
and everything will tear you down
you can only trust yourself & you can only give yourself the love you deserve
but that was something I was never strong enough to do
I never was strong enough to put my faith in God and just love myself
I always looked for love in the eyes of one night stand lovers
I never gave myself the love I truly deserved
now I’m stilling here writing this and all the people that has every touched my life in any way
and it hurts to say goodbye
but maybe this is the goodbye I need to set myself free
free from all the pain
free from all the stress
free from being hurt and abandoned
so good or not
this is the last one I’ll ever write
CallMeVenus Jun 2018
Hey you, you look like my lover
Hey you, you remind me of how things were when my heart was whole
Hey you, let me lick your golden fingers
Hey you, will you let me recall her in you?
Hey you, will you allow me to paint you over?
Hey you, will you let go?

Lover, lover, lover let me **** your power you are not weak
Let me take your flower in the middle of the summer somewhere in my corn field.

Am I playing the god with my own mind or just gone crazy?
I hope you like this new body

Lover. Lover. Lover stay. Let the juices flow in my brain. Stay my DMT.

Devil over the shoulder and just last week I burned the last bridge reaching for you in places you do not exist.
Today is 3 months since the love of my life commited suicide. I got high yesterday and I've written this
Dev A May 2018
In the darkness of night
I wonder if it’s all worth it.
The thoughts pounding in my head
Am I worth it?
Wouldn’t it be better if I was gone?
I’ll never amount to anything

In the darkness of night
I wonder why I’m still here.
Nothing to look forward to
Where’s the motivation to keep going?
What is there to live for?
I have nothing keeping me here

In the darkness of night
I wonder if anyone would care.
Never making lasting impressions
When has anyone put me first?
No one listens to what I have to say

In the darkness of night
I wonder if it’s the oppressing stillness.
Or are the demons whispering in my ear?
Some say it’s just a chemical imbalance
But in the silence, they come from inside
Whispers of never being enough
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