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Ryan Hoysan May 2016
I say I love you

And you say you love me too.

But do you know what I mean?
What I truly mean each time I say that I love you?

My dear every day I discover something new about you that makes me fall in love with you all over again. These things shall never pass from my mind for they are my true ideal of my true love.
The way you smile, so genuinely at me and hug me so tight as if to say you're never letting go, when I help you be confident.
The way you realize that I can't always be the strong one and the way you make me even stronger by being my strength in my toughest times.
The way we laugh off all the questioning eyes and pointing fingers and instead find ourselves held in close company in each other's eyes.

Because, my dear, sweetheart I mean all this and more when I say I love you and those words ring more true with each passing second.
This is why you're not only my girlfriend, but my forever and always, and I shall love you every moment of my life

Forever and Always...
Inspired by one of my girlfriends favorite songs Forever and Always by: Parachute.
3.3k · Nov 2016
Calculus and I
Ryan Hoysan Nov 2016
Bite into an apple
It tastes like am orange should
This is confusion.
Hey, I actually kinda managed to write a haiku. I'm proud of this. This is inspired by the way I describe my confusion with calculus. It is as follows: ascribe all the visual and physical properties of an apple to something. It would then follow that since it looks like an apple AND it feels like an apple, that this is an apple and should taste like an apple. But what if it tasted like an orange while still seemingly being an apple? This would cause quite the spat of cognitive dissonance. This is my hell.
2.9k · Jan 2017
The rose
Ryan Hoysan Jan 2017
A rose is beautiful to behold
Its stem a pain to hold
Though easier to hold
Is a rose without thorns
Really a rose
Pristine and true?
This poem came from listening to my professor talk about trigonometry. Much more entertaining to focus on this, I think.
2.6k · Sep 2016
The test of time
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
Everything must face the test of time
Will they stand
Or will they fall
The same is true for us as well
Will we hold each other’s hands
Till the end of time
Or will your hand slip from mine?
Is it only natural that two people in love will very rapidly drift apart? It seems like there is no escaping the clutches of this.
2.0k · Jan 2017
I'm not perfect
Ryan Hoysan Jan 2017
You're perfect,
        She said.

And I felt myself crumble
        Because I knew I was not so

You are perfect,
        She repeated.

Perfect for me,
        You are everything I could ever want.

And I felt myself
        Become whole again.
This was written at 1 am, while I was missing your 2 o'clock snores and your 3 am sleepy smile floating across your face.
1.6k · Sep 2016
This terrible night
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
Last night was a terrible night for me.

I was told I'm an amazing person
My girlfriend told me that
Or should I say my ex.
Because she told me I'm amazing
As she also told me she has found someone else.

Am I really that amazing
That you've found someone else
Who can fill my place so easily?

Last night was a terrible night.
Today feels like a terrible day.
I'm looking forward to a terrible month

Last night was a terrible night.
I cried myself to sleep
And woke up with tears in my eyes.
This terrible morning isn't getting any better
As the tears continue to flow.
I think tonight will be
Another terrible night
I'll cry myself to sleep
Because otherwise I'll drive myself insane
And then I'll wake up
Again
With tears on my face
And scattered on my pillow
As I reach to pull you close to save me from the nightmare.

Only to realize
That you're not there any more.
I'm so amazing, aren't I?
1.5k · Aug 2016
That Wonderful Girl
Ryan Hoysan Aug 2016
I've got a friend
She truly is something
She's such a wonderful girl.

This wonderful girl
Feels dazed and confused
Overwhelmed and unequipped
To handle the trials
That lay ahead.

My wonderful friend
Is more wonderful
Than she'll ever know.

This wonderful girl
Is tough and capable
She can handle herself
In any fight.

However, my wonderful friends
THIS wonderful friend
Has been stripped
Of her pride
By societies jealous thieves.

My wonderful friend doesn't feel quite so wonderful
More So like she's meek, incapable, and unimportant.

Dear friends,
Allow me to set
The record straight.

That beautiful, amazing, strong, intelligent, incredibly wonderful girl is who that wonderful girl truly is.

Inside
&
Out
Ryan Hoysan Jun 2015
Two people could never have been more in love than the two of us. A spark at first glance, suddenly roaring as a huge fire. At every moment we'd tell the other how much we loved them and how we wish they'd never leave. Two hearts and two minds, completely intertwined. But now it feels different. The light in your eyes has gone. My smile wiped from your mind. Is this what love is? A flurry of passion then nothing? I thought love was to be shared, nurtured over time, a never ending passion. As I lay here seemingly forgotten, in endless confusion, It seems "love" is just a syllable, it's meaning lost to history and its intent ignored in the doldrum of life. It is why I now ask: Do you even remember my name?
I wonder if she still feels the way I do...
1.2k · Sep 2016
Shoot For The Moon
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
They say "shoot for the moon – Even if you miss you’ll be among the stars"

You'd just better hope you break the atmosphere or you’ll come crashing back down amongst the gruesome, fiery wreckage.
This was kind of where my previous poem sprung from. I wasn't sure if I should release this as it's own poem or if I should incorporate this into another poem. In the end this is what I've got.
1.2k · Apr 2018
I served my purpose I guess
Ryan Hoysan Apr 2018
Who was your ******* rock? The one you relied on when others relied on you? I was the keystone who kept you together and kept the others together unbeknownst to them. I was the bandage sealing the wound from the bacteria of the world, from the ill thoughts and mean-spirited things of the world. I was your ******* crutch that supported you and helped you stand upright in this world. But just like a crutch, like a bandage, I was discarded once the problem was summarily handled. I hope you bleed out next time.
This is the first thing I've written in months. Nothing like anger to make someone impassioned, heh? Either way, I just had to get something out or this was going to eat me up.
1.1k · Sep 2016
A poem to cheer myself up
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
Oh me
Oh my
I think I'll buy
Myself a pizza pie.


Update: The pizza was really good.
I think I'm finally starting the process of getting over my girlfriend breaking up with me. I have to give a huge thank you to my friends here on HP, to all of you, new and old alike you have been a gigantic help with me getting over this. Your words of support, advice, and wisdom do more fore me than I believe most realize and so, for that, I say thank you once again. You guys are amazing
1.1k · Feb 2017
Humans are Pitiful
Ryan Hoysan Feb 2017
Humans are truly pitiful things
We are born weak
We are born with nothing
Yet we desire everything
Especially those things that we can not have
But we do not have a care for one another
The happiness of those that surround us is never given a second thought
Yet there are some who break the mold
Who utterly shatter any precepts of what a human being is
And should be
And ever could become
There are those of us that say **** the rules
There are those of that have forever heard the phrase "life isn't fair" and are sick and ******* tired of it, those of us who are working to make that statement a relic of history
Those of use who place others happiness on the forefront of our mind before even our own
Those of us who forget ourselves in order to keep another from losing them self.
There are those of us that say ***** the rules and live by our own motto
Those of us who kick hatreds *** in an attempt to give every single person in the world the one thing that everyone deserves
The one thing that everyone is entitled to:
Happiness.
Literally jumped out of the shower this morning, still full of soap just to write down this thought. Looking at it now, I'd say it was well worth it. This poem is kind of about me and the way I live a large part of my life.
1.1k · Oct 2015
Betrayal
Ryan Hoysan Oct 2015
When I said I would take a bullet for you

I didn't think you would be pulling the trigger.
1.1k · Mar 2017
I'm not Shakespeare but...
Ryan Hoysan Mar 2017
Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
     I think not, for the day's end soon approaches as does Summer's demise.
     Shall I compare them to a sparkling diamond?
     Again, I think not, for many diamonds are cut apart to gain their beauty.
     Shall I compare thee to a crescendo of song, reaching its peak?
     Still, I think not, for each and every note may yet still go sour.
     While some may profess these things as perfection, you are indeed perfection in my eyes.
     Now and forever.
Not sure how I feel with it overall, I mean I like it, but it could be better.
1.0k · Jan 2017
Cold Bones
Ryan Hoysan Jan 2017
I'm cold
I'm empty
It feels as though
there's nothing left inside
these broken bones of mine.
Just thinking about a lot of nothing in my own head. Seems like I'm leading myself down the spiral of my mind, just hope I don't get lost for too long.
986 · Jul 2017
WRITERS
Ryan Hoysan Jul 2017
We as writers have the ability to do many things.
We know how to change the tenses of many different words,
Such as love becoming had loved
And together becomes we were together.
We have the knowledge to change things
From the affirmative to the negative,
Such as we’re in love
To she isn’t in love
Or she is always by my side
To I rarely see her anymore.
We can combine the two
To change something that is happening
To something that might have never even happened,
Such as how will always be in love
Changes to were we ever in love?
And how I love you
Could be flipped to ask
Didn’t you ever love me?
Inspired by many memories from many people. This idea has been occupying space in my head for a few days now... This is the release I have found for it.
971 · Oct 2016
Burnout
Ryan Hoysan Oct 2016
Not being able to give even 1% because you have 100% for just a moment too long...
All of a sudden my mind just stopped. It ceased to focus. I wish I could turn it off sometimes.
959 · Feb 2017
Candy hearts
Ryan Hoysan Feb 2017
As I sit here
Pondering a box of candy hearts
I wonder  
If my words
Have lain upon your heart like such
934 · Jul 2015
Someone to call my own
Ryan Hoysan Jul 2015
I may not even be an adult yet. But I still know what I want. I'm not asking for perfection. Quite the opposite indeed. I'm looking for someone who knows how to fall. Who knows how to get back up. I wish for a girl who would love me with all her heart, for I would do the same. I hope to find a girl who doesn't care about ***, someone who is fine with just cuddling and being close, no promises of promiscuity. I wish for someone to call my own. In turn, I hope for someone to call me their own.
Every time a relationship seems to be going well, something destroys it all. It always seems to blow up in my face. Is this to much to ask for?
886 · Mar 2015
All I can promise you
Ryan Hoysan Mar 2015
I like her a lot
Maybe even enough to call it love.
I can't fix her past
I can't guarantee her future.
All I can promise is today
Here and now.
I can't swear to her shell never cry
Only that it won't be by my hand.
I can't swear that everything will be ok.
It won't be.
All I can swear is that I'll be there
Ready to protect her and comfort her
Whenever she needs it.
If I could give it all to her, I would
But I can't.
All I have to offer
Is my love and friendship.
Usually all the poems I attempt to write don't come out the way I envision. All but this one. Someone special to me inspired this poem and it just came to be. Hope you enjoy my first original poem. :)
860 · Oct 2016
My dream girl
Ryan Hoysan Oct 2016
When I find the girl of my dreams
She needn't be gallant not supreme.
Neither must she be
Pristine and part of the scene.
She does not have to be
Just like me.

My dream girl might be many things, with many traits ascribed to her,
But I only need her
To be one very special thing.

Mine, for now and forever.
830 · Jun 2015
Alone with my thoughts
Ryan Hoysan Jun 2015
Sometimes it's a blessing, others a curse. Sometimes anywhere and everywhere in between. They can be the most comforting things or the most venomous. Sometimes good thoughts get interrupted by the bad and drag me down, but yet others still will pull me out of my own darkness.

Others are questions, whom, if I ever find the answer to, will just create more questions for me to answer. It's like roulette. You got a 50-50 shot. You could either bet it all on one go and come up big or you could lose it all. On the other hand you could bet in small increments, never winning to much, but then again, not losing to much.

How much are you willing to risk in an effort to gain?
803 · Mar 2017
The Title is Unimportant
Ryan Hoysan Mar 2017
This is my credo
this is my dogma
this is my statement of belief
you can call this whatever you like
because the title is unimportant
this is my uncompromising doctrine
of which I believe in
to the utmost degree.
Everyone is important
Despite what they may think of themselves
Every single person has a life that matters
No matter how they see their life
I will be the person who is left
When everyone else has left
And you believe yourself to be alone
I will be the one who believes in you
When even you do not believe in yourself
I will be the one to remind you of your beauty
When you forget the beauty you possess
I will be the one who will listen for eternity
When you feel like you are worthless
I will see value and worth within you
Even when you believe yourself to be worth nothing
I will be the one to worry over you
While you worry over everyone else
Come hell or high water
Regardless of the burden it shall place upon my shoulders
I will undertake the task
Of lessening the pain and suffering of others
For I can bear much suffering
And my heart is warmed by the sight
Of suffering and pain being lifted from someone’s shoulders
I will do all that is within my power
Put forth all the effort I can
With mind, body and soul
I step forth into this world
To deny suffering a place here
And to lessen the pain
Felt by any and all
So bring me all the worst
Of your broken
Of your bruised
Of your supposedly insane
Dreams feelings and memories
Bare your soul to me
And I shall reply in kind
Welcoming you in to the depth of my being
And encompassing you within the warmth that I possess
I know that I may not save all
But that will NOT STOP me from trying
To save everyone
Because if I can save even one person
Then any sacrifice is worth the chance
So, if you've made it this far I thank you for taking the time to read this overly large write. Many friends of mine have suffered through many things or are still suffering. These things range from mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts to abuse, family troubles, and a loss of meaning in life. Everyone has their struggles in life, who am I to add any more of a burden onto their shoulders. I try to make the world a better place by taking the burdens of others and placing them upon my own shoulders because I know that I can handle it. I do everything I possibly can to accept every single person, no exceptions, as a whole. People are the sum of their parts, but their parts alone do not define them. I do not expect everyone or even many to share my sentiment, but nonetheless, this is MY sentiment that I am putting forth. If there is anyone who needs someone to talk to on a rough night or if there is anyone who is just looking for a pleasant chat, I welcome both with open arms, please reach out to me through a comment or a message and I will do my best to respond as soon as I can.
799 · Oct 2017
Restless as the tarantula
Ryan Hoysan Oct 2017
This poem is originally written by my favorite poet, Charles Bukowski. .

they're not going to let you
sit at a front table
at some cafe in Europe
in the mid-afternoon sun.
if you do, somebody's going to
drive by and
spray your guts with a
submachine gun.

they're not going to let you
feel good
for very long
anywhere.
the forces aren't going to
let you sit around
*******-off and
relaxing.
you've got to go
their way.

the unhappy, the bitter and
the vengeful
need their
fix - which is
you or somebody
anybody
in agony, or
better yet
dead, dropped into some
hole.

as long as there are
humans about
there is never going to be
any peace
for any individual
upon this earth or
anywhere else
they might
escape to.

all you can do
is maybe grab
ten lucky minutes
here
or maybe an hour
there.

something
is working toward you
right now, and
I mean you
and nobody but
you.
I came across this poem in a book of his poems and I discovered it wasn't on this site. As it is very relevant to my life right now I thought to share it with the rest of the community. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Messages and comments are welcome as always.
790 · Feb 2017
You are beautiful
Ryan Hoysan Feb 2017
If ever you forget
I will remind you
This isn't really to anyone in particular, more so it was just written to everyone that reads it. I hope this brightens your day and brings a smile to your face.
768 · Oct 2016
Untitled
Ryan Hoysan Oct 2016
I always try to choose my words carefully
Each syllable like an incision with a scalpel
Well intentioned and good mannered
In hopes of removing the ticking time bombs placed inside you and me by those that have left us behind
But one wrong slip
One accidental miscalculation
Obliterates the progress that I have so carefully tried to create.
Could one word have changed it all?
Could one different syllable be the reason that you are still here?
I wanted to give this piece a title, but I couldn't decide on one that I was satisfied with. If anyone has a suggestion I'd be glad to hear it.
764 · Sep 2016
Upon closer examination
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
Upon closer examination
one will eventually realize
that falling in love
does not hurt,
for there will be another
waiting there to catch you.

It's when that person turns their back
to you
and suddenly
you're no longer falling in love
but you've reached that point
that point where it really hurts
the sudden stop
when instead of falling in love
You've fallen just as far as you can go
and You've hit rock bottom
and upon those rocks
our hearts are shattered.
It's like people say "It's not the fall that kills you... It's the sudden stop."
737 · Mar 2017
My name on your lips
Ryan Hoysan Mar 2017
To hear my name uttered from your lips
Is like the sirens song
A thing of utter beauty
That leaves me perilously dashed upon the rocks
Again, inspired by a very close friend of mine.
737 · Nov 2016
The path we choose
Ryan Hoysan Nov 2016
We're all headed to the same destination.
Why not take the scenic route?
Short, simple, but still meaningful. I like this little thought a lot.
734 · Feb 2017
I hate to admit it
Ryan Hoysan Feb 2017
As human beings
We have the potential
To do anything we set our minds to
Except for this moment in time
I feel as if the odds are stacked just slightly too high against me
As though sheer force of will just won't cut it this time
As much as I hate to think this way I fear it might be true
I've started thinking that maybe the major that I've chosen to study in college just isn't working out. It has been my dream to study computer science in college and make a career out of it, but I'm not so sure of that anymore. Maybe I'll end up changing majors... Things are just kinda complicated in my mind right now.
719 · Dec 2016
Quantum leap of induction
Ryan Hoysan Dec 2016
According to the laws of physics time travel is technically possible, but would require an immense amount of energy to accomplish.
Though I could never hope to muster that much energy I place myself in the past with you
Thinking that if I had changed this or done that one thing differently that you would still be here today with me.
Surely I could have changed the way things worked out

Or maybe not.

Maybe what happened was going to happen would still happen
Just maybe at a different time
And at a different place
But with the same end result.
The title is a play on the words "Quantum Leap" and "Inductive Leap". Any comments are appreciated :).
667 · Dec 2016
Odd little place
Ryan Hoysan Dec 2016
Yesterday I found an odd little place
A real hole in the wall sort of joint
Where the doldrums of life roll on and on
Where day changes to night, but leaves no one the wiser
Where today could be tomorrow even though it really seems like yesterday
When now and then are full of the same thing

It's an odd little place
A real hole in the wall joint
Just look through the looking glass
And dive down the rabbit hole
And you'll discover this world within ours.
The other night I did something I hoped I wouldn't have to do. I went to visit a very close friend of mine in the behavioral health/psych ward of the hospital. It's not that I didn't want to have to go to a place like that, it's just that I hoped I could help make it so that those closest to me wouldn't need to go there because things wouldn't get to that point. At least they're getting the help that I can't give.
652 · Sep 2016
heart of glass
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
My glass heart has broken
And it has pierced my chest.
Originally, this was the last two lines of a larger poem or stream of thought or whatever it should be called. I decided that this would be better to post. If anyone would like to see the larger work I will show them, just message me.
632 · Feb 2017
Photographs
Ryan Hoysan Feb 2017
I wonder how many photos I've been cropped out of.
How many memories I've been erased from.
I wonder how many of my past loves parents could recall my name.
I'd often befriend them as well.
I've lost a lot of lovers,
but my love for them has never left.
Just a passing thought about all the past relationships I've had. I still wonder if they still look at old pictures of us and remember those times we spent together...
626 · Aug 2016
Cognitive dissonance
Ryan Hoysan Aug 2016
My mind is at war with itself.
Neither side willing to give an inch to the other.

"It's like 2 sides
Of the same coin"

Is that what you think?
Is that what you say?

Well flip that **** coin already,
Tell me how this all plays out.
Take me from this constant hell.

Oh look, it's landed on its edge.
Balancing precariously in the middle, just like me.

Now tuck me back into bed,
I guess I'll just sleep forever  
In this haunting nightmare.
I have a small notebook. I write all my poetry and thoughts here before I do it anywhere else. I write it with the ultra fine tip of a black sharpie. If you open one side of my notebook, all you'll read are happy poems, poems filled with love and joy and hope. But open the other side, and you'll see the results of all that hope, all that love, and all that joy. I know life has its ups and downs but they feel so extreme.
624 · Feb 2017
Her
Ryan Hoysan Feb 2017
Her
This morning I thought
I had found the girl of my dreams.
And then I woke up.
Turns out, she was just that.
623 · Aug 2016
Fallen Angel
Ryan Hoysan Aug 2016
You've got a heart of gold
    You must be an angel
       Well, you see dear
        Gravity still exists
                  And this
                    Angel
                         Is
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                    Falling
Ryan Hoysan Apr 2017
There are two kinds of people in this world.
There are those of us, who will look at pictures of the past and feel awash with a glowing warmth, remember the perfection of those single moments.
And then there are others among us, others like you and I, who view photos much the same way, yet feel much less euphoric, because while we also take the moment to remember that perfection, we use the next millennia of moments to lament the passing of this perfection
Just came to me, so here it is. I guess I'll also share my thoughts on the new site layout since that seems to be the trend. Well, not that it's a unique opinion, but I feel that given time (and a quick fix to all the errors and glitches people are getting) it could (key word being could) come out better than most people are expecting it to be. Maybe they could have beta tested the layout before releasing it en mass, but it's an attempt at a breath of fresh air. Give them a chance to at least attempt to iron out the kinks before we make complete and total judgements.
584 · Oct 2016
Holding my breath
Ryan Hoysan Oct 2016
I'm frightened
I'm terrified
I'm absolutely unnerved.
Every moment
Every next heartbeat
I stand here
Clenching my phone.
Waiting for that next message back from you

Because that means you're still alive. And for a second I can breath.
I've had some late nights where I've been up all night talking to good friends of mine trying to convince them that they matter and that life is worth living. It terrifies me every time I don't get a text back.
584 · Nov 2016
Untitled (10 Word)
Ryan Hoysan Nov 2016
Don't fix what isn't broken
Can't fix what never existed
This was a spurr of the moment write that isn't based off of anything (currently) happening in my life. It is a thought I've been examining within myself and in my relationships with others.
566 · Sep 2016
I wonder if she knows
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
I wonder if she knows
that now when I smile
that tears cascade down my eyes
because when I am smiling
I begin to remember
all of the memories
of the times when she
pulled me back
from the depths of my own mind
and brought a smile to my face
She was happiness incarnate for me...
533 · Mar 2017
Untitled
Ryan Hoysan Mar 2017
We’re in our mid-twenties
Making our way home from the bar

You
Drunk on sweet cotton candy *****
Stumbling and flowing through my grasp as I help you into the car

Me
Drunk on your kisses
Sweeter than any cotton candy
From those blush colored lips of yours

Drunk on the soothing scent of apples
Hanging in the air between us

Drunk on those warm hot chocolate colored eyes of yours
That always manage to drown me in their endless depth

Drunk on that innocent smile
That pulls me in with the promise of things much less innocent

Drunk on the way you slurred
The words I love you
And immediately followed it up with a laugh

Drunk on the way your spirit seemed to fly free
How your thoughts seemed to soar
In the moonlit night above

Drunk on every aspect of your entire existence

And I hope I do not sober up anytime soon
So, this poem is based off of events that happened in my mind about a close friend and I.
524 · Jun 2017
My tranquility
Ryan Hoysan Jun 2017
I have often been criticized for my seeming lack of motivation and drive
But I am content with celebrating beauty as it enters the world
And mourning the same beauty as it leaves this world.
Do not mistake my apparent lack of outward motivation for laziness.
519 · Aug 2016
How are you?
Ryan Hoysan Aug 2016
How are you?
I never thought this **** question would be so difficult.

I'm fine, I tell you
As I quickly try to
Change the subject.
.... I always asked you to tell me the truth about how you felt, but I just don't want to cause a problem.

I'm really not fine I say,
I'm really not ok
As I try not to be too blunt.

I want to tell you the truth
No matter what happens.
..... You always told me the truth
About how you felt,
But I just don't want to be the problem.

How are you?
I never thought that question would bring tears to my eyes.

Whoever said
"The truth will set you free"
Is a ******* fool.
The truth is its own cage. I've got a lot to think about and worry about. That doesn't mean I'm against talking to anyone. Feel free to message me.
513 · Jun 2016
How hard can it be?
Ryan Hoysan Jun 2016
How hard can it be? Poetry can break the normal rules, or follow them just the same, or even yet write its own rules. There is no teacher breathing down my neck, holding my grade in a vice. Nobody is forcing me to write these poems, yet I feel compelled to create them.

Ive got so many words to describe just what I want, but somehow none sound right.

I know just what I want to say and who to say it to, but I can't confront these demons.

How can I have all the right words, but put them together all wrong?
I want to fix the world and tell the world of the people that reside in it, but sometimes there are too many words to condense into a poem, too many thoughts to make coherent.
512 · Sep 2016
Untitled
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
When people ask what's wrong
I'm just going to tell them it's a long story
Because I really really don't want to tell people the whole story
Because that story
Now comes to an end...
It's over. Exactly what I feared would happen did and I have no way to recover. ****...
490 · Sep 2017
The author of my happiness
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2017
For a few months time
I kept a poetry notebook
Always by my side.

When I would write about
Something happy and positive
It would be written on the next page from the front of my notebook.

When I would write about
Something sad and somber or negative
I would write it on the next page from the back of my notebook.

It almost seemed like a competition then
Which would fill up my pages first?
Joy or sorrow?

Now and then I still take that notebook
Thumb it open
And examine its pages.

The only difference is
That now my happiness
Is written on my face
In the form of a smile
And you are the author
Who placed it there.
To come after the day of work, till then, have a good day friends.
487 · Jun 2015
Wonder
Ryan Hoysan Jun 2015
There may be many like you, but none so curious as you. For as broken as you may be, your only focus is mending the broken hearts of those nearest you, ignoring your own pain, in hopes of healing another. This cannot possibly last forever though. Given enough time, even the strongest may fall. Allow me then, the carpenter, to attend to you. To sand away the rough edges and glue the splinters together once more. I cannot stand to see you broken, a divine angel, fallen from heaven. Allow me then to take your place. Allow my dreams to be scattered like ash, that you may live out yours. In the end though, my simplest dream has been fulfilled. You are happy. So am I.
Not sure how this one turned out. Just had a though floating in my mind and ran with it.
476 · May 2017
Scars
Ryan Hoysan May 2017
Some people say that self harm and cutting are fake
I can tell you they're not
These are my friends
This is my family
Carving line after line of fear and self-loathing into their limbs
So you may believe that they aren't real
But I will tell you differently
Because for each and every one of these people
The scars are all too real...
I just thought of this at work and had to rush to the bathroom to get some privacy to write it down before I forgot it. Inspired by real events in my life. As always comments and messages are welcome.
465 · Sep 2016
Untitled
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2016
You’re the one who was scared that I would leave,
So why do I feel I’ve been left standing here
Like a jilted bride at her wedding
Disillusioned at the altar
I feel as if I am being at least partially ignored and forgotten by the one I love the most. I thought we were still madly in love. I'm not so sure about madly and it seems even less so about the love part too.
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