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Iz 5d
As I wake
I mistake the sirens as my name
The wail telling me to come
That I’ve got lost again and I need to follow them home
Home as in the straight jacket hospital
Home as in you belong here
Home as in basically GSA
Your mind is the only sharp thing in sight
And the rope once noose tying you down
Calliope Dec 2018
The beautiful girl with the raven hair.
A sleeve of pain she doesn’t remember.
A past of stolen innocence and growing up too fast.
A life of raising her sisters but losing her daughter, because money doesn’t grow on trees and 22 weeks was all the time she could get.
A heart of gold but a facade of steel, too scared to let anyone back in.
A soul that rages of fire, power, and more grit than anyone I’ve met.
A future that my heart wishes for her more than she will ever know.
She will get everything she desires.
Her sobriety will be the medal around her neck.
Her life will be the trophy she won back.
And her beautiful children will be the emblem of strength that let them be born.
I just got back from a psychiatric care unit and the people I’ve met have changed me forever.
Her Nov 2018
some days
i miss the psych ward
being away
from society
left with only
my demons

not being able
to be hurt by
anyone there

i wish
i could find
that comfortability
out in the real world
instead of hiding away
in these locked away rooms
i don't wanna leave
nobody Jul 2018
lock me in a building
a room, if you will
padded ****-me walls
to terrorize my mind
and, most importantly,
fix me
and i wonder
are psychotic girls a good ****
7 - 12 18
thursday
Terry Collett May 2018
You slid a finger
down the inside
of your left arm
in imitation
of a knife blade.

Nurses passed by
back and forth
busy making beds
in the locked ward.

I sat on the sofa
looking at you
standing there.

Your slim finger
left a feint line
of pinkness.

The Scottish woman
stood by the doorway
smoking and moaning
about the Indian woman
who she said
stunk tha place
ta hell.

Music from the radio
pushed out pop
or DJ crap.

You walked past
the Scottish moaner
into the other part
of the ward.

I watched you
walk away
how the short
dressing gown
held you close.

You beckoned me
to follow
with a curved finger.

I stood up
and walked past
the Scottish woman.

Cannae ya smell
tha stinking betch?
She said.

I said no
although I had
but not wanting
to say.

She moaned on
but I walked away.
Terry Collett May 2018
Yiska ran her finger
down the windowpane.

Outside snow drifted
in large flakes.

She lit a cigarette
and blew smoke
at the pane.

I moved beside her
and watched
the falling snow.

"I want to be out there
not stuck in here
in this madhouse"
she said.

She took my hand in hers
and squeezed it.

"You are the only
element of sanity
in this hole"
she added.

"We are both stuck here
with other broken minds"
I said.

She squeezed
my hand tighter.

A plump nurse
walked past
behind us
like a young hippo.

I saw her reflection
in the windowpane.

"Remember that night
in the ECT room ?"
she said.

"Yes and the night nurse
found you
while I hid under
the recovery bed."

She smiled.

The hippo nurse
came up to us
and said
"Have you had
your medication
yet Yiska?"

Yiska turned
to face the nurse.

"Yes the skinny nurse
gave it to me"
Yiska said.

The nurse walked away
up the locked ward.

"Did she?"
I said.

"She did
but I threw them
down the toilet"
she said
and released
my hand.

I lit a cigarette
and stared out
at the snow
and our promised land.
Ben Hickman Apr 2018
They tell me i'm crazy
That i'm a danger to myself
I won't do it again I promise them
No one listens

I'm taken to the hospital
They give me medicine and tell me to stay still
I do as they ask
But I wonder what I did to deserve this

They give me new clothes, scrubs, as some would call them
They show me to my room and I meet my roommate
He gets out in a day
I won't be so lucky

Its night time
I met everyone in the facility
No one ever shows a happy face
No one ever offers me love

I'm lying in bed
I notice how safe everything is
The beds made of plastic, rounded edges
I stare at the ceiling

I eventually fall asleep
I don't know what I was thinking to do so
But I was sound asleep
I dream of the last couple of days

I'm hanging out with my friends
They were never the nicest people
They gave me death threats
Told me to **** myself

One day they got to me
I had lost all hope of a future
So I found my ADHD medicine
And took every last pill

My parents found me the next day
Lying in bed, dazed and confused
I could barely move a muscle
So they called 911

I wake up and find myself in the hospital
I'm crying uncontrollably
My roommate looks at me and walks away
Why does no one care?

I get out of bed
I brush my teeth
They take my pulse
I eat my breakfast

They have a boring activity for us to do
Coloring children's books
They even bring the stress of your homework
Up into the hospital

The only "fun" thing we do
I when they bring us to the indoor track
I walk around the track and I meet a girl younger than me
She is bisexual just like me

We get along well and I thought for once i had an actual friend
But later I come to find out
That after you get out
Your not allowed to talk to them again

So everyday that gets closer to getting out I dread
Because it just means i'm closer and closer
To never seeing her face again
And losing the only real friend I have

The day finally comes
The doctors come and talk with me
They ask if I believe i'm ready to leave
I lie

I tell them I think i'm ready
I pack my clothes up
I brush my teeth one last time
And I go to say goodbye

But right when I look in her room
I see her smiling
Shes talking to her new roommate
I want to hug her

But we aren't allowed physical contact
So I turn around
And I leave
And I never come back
Personal experiences of a hospital mental ward
Terry Collett Apr 2018
The Scottish woman
moaned about the medication
being late and the Asian woman
rocked back and forth
on the armchair
with a bone looking grip
looped in her hair.

You were standing with me
by the large window
gazing out
at the trees and fields
covered in snow.

You touched my hand
with yours
and I sensed
the roughness
of the bandage
around your wrist
where you had cut it
and few days before
and the tubby nurse
found you
sitting on the floor
watching the blood
flow out
and the nurse
screamed at you
something she wasn't
meant to do.

"Wish I was out there"
you said
"lying there
like some lone soldier
deep in snow
waiting for death
and what a way to go."
Terry Collett Mar 2018
The kid arrives(day patient)
and walks the ward like an
intense panther. I sit on the
sofa waiting for nothing,
and nothing happens, nothing
that interests me to stir
or contend to anything or end.

Yiska comes from the small
medical room; her wrist fresh
bandaged. The kid straight
away pesters her, surrounds
her, sticks out his tongue.

I get up and push him away;
he comes back at me and
Yiska screams. Nurses come
out of the walls, separate us.

He is all large eyed, mouthing
foul language; I want to bust
him one, but a big male nurse
stands between us. The kid
walks off. I watch him go.

The nurse watches us. I sit
next to Yiska. She looks at
her wrist bandaged. She'd
slit her wrist the day before.

We light up our cigarettes
and smoke. The kid walks
about staring at me with
his dark eyes. I gaze at him
cool, releasing smoke.
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