Neither you were mine,
Nor was I yours…
There is a rain here,
I lost happiness somewhere…

In this divulge of pain,
I am floating…
In this river of passion,
I am drowning…

And tears appeared…
Dripping from the eyelids…
And tears appeared…

Once in my breath,
Your fragrance was there…
Yes in my nights,
Your habit was there…

Once in my memories,
Someone was there…
Sometimes in my words,
There was a person...

Where did that friend go,
Where did that love go…

Neither you were mine,
Nor was I yours…
There is a rain here,
I lost happiness somewhere…

In this divulge of pain,
I am floating…
In this river of passion,
I am drowning…

And tears appeared...
Dripping from the eyelids...
And tears appeared...
And tears appeared...
Dripping from the eyelids-ay-aye-aye-aye!

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Na Tu Mera Raha,
Na Main Tera Raha…
Chhaae Hain Gham Hi Yahaan,
Khoi Hain Khushiyaan Kahaan…

Gham Ki Is Baarish Mein,
Bheeg Raha Hoon Main…
Tezaabi Is Nadiya Mein,
Doob Raha Hoon Main…

Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…
Palkon Se Chhalke…
Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…

Kabhi Meri Saanson Mein,
Khushboo Thi Teri...
Haan Meri Raaton Mein,
Aadat Thi Teri...

Kabhi Meri Yaadon Mein,
Rehta Tha Koi…
Haan Meri Baaton Mein,
Basta Tha Koi…

Kahaan Gaya Wo Yaar,
Kahaan Gaya Wo Pyaar…

Na Tu Mera Raha,
Na Main Tera Raha…
Chhaae Hain Gham Hi Yahaan,
Khoi Hain Khushiyaan Kahaan…

Gham Ki Is Baarish Mein,
Bheeg Raha Hoon Main…
Tezaabi Is Nadiya Mein,
Doob Raha Hoon Main…

Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…
Palkon Se Chhalke…
Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…
Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…
Palkon Se Chhalke-ay-aye-ay-aye-aye!

Atul Subhash, I empathise with you,
This modern age is evil.

Your wife behaved narcissistically,
The judge behaved more so.

I can understand your situation,
And you're a lesson, an inspiration.

I won't ever get married, brother,
For I fear divorce, yes, I do.

Instead of getting married,
I'd rather get a cat, yes, a cat.

As for my monies, oh the dust,
I'll donate it all to a cause.

Animal welfare,
Medical research.

Somewhere useful,
But not in a marriage.

Neither you were mine,
Nor was I yours…
There is a rain here,
I lost happiness somewhere…

In this divulge of pain,
I am floating…
In this river of passion,
I am drowning…

And tears appeared…
Dripping from the eyelids…
And tears appeared…

Once in my breath,
Your fragrance was there…
Yes in my nights,
Your habit was there…

Once in my memories,
Someone was there…
Sometimes in my words,
There was a person...

Where did that friend go,
Where did that love go…

Neither you were mine,
Nor was I yours…
There is a rain here,
I lost happiness somewhere…

In this divulge of pain,
I am floating…
In this river of passion,
I am drowning…

And tears appeared...
Falling from the eyelids...
And tears appeared...
And tears appeared...
Falling from the eyelids-ay-aye-aye-aye!

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Na Tu Mera Raha,
Na Main Tera Raha…
Chhaae Hain Gham Hi Yahaan,
Khoi Hain Khushiyaan Kahaan…

Gham Ki Is Baarish Mein,
Bheeg Raha Hoon Main…
Tezaabi Is Nadiya Mein,
Doob Raha Hoon Main…

Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…
Palkon Se Chhalke…
Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…

Kabhi Meri Saanson Mein,
Khushboo Thi Teri...
Haan Meri Raaton Mein,
Aadat Thi Teri...

Kabhi Meri Yaadon Mein,
Rehta Tha Koi…
Haan Meri Baaton Mein,
Basta Tha Koi…

Kahaan Gaya Wo Yaar,
Kahaan Gaya Wo Pyaar…

Na Tu Mera Raha,
Na Main Tera Raha…
Chhaae Hain Gham Hi Yahaan,
Khoi Hain Khushiyaan Kahaan…

Gham Ki Is Baarish Mein,
Bheeg Raha Hoon Main…
Tezaabi Is Nadiya Mein,
Doob Raha Hoon Main…

Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…
Palkon Se Chhalke…
Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…
Aur Aansoo Aa Gaye…
Palkon Se Chhalke-ay-aye-ay-aye-aye!

You've not learnt how,
Just how to apologise,
Instead you're rude,
Words like a scythe,
And you expect immediate forgiveness.
Well, that’s not how it works,
That’s really not how it works.

I'm an anterograde amnesiac per se,
But I remember what you did say.

This is a Paradiso Poetry,
But it's called Hello Poetry.
We all love this platform,

I play my electric guitar on my amp,
Then there's a drum sampler,
And I sing & scream okay,
But without the bassist,
I feel like I go commando.

Fellows commented long ago,
"Without the bass guitar,
Your song feels hollow."
I looked for any bassist,
Here & there but to no avail.

What I ultimately found out,
Many play the Axe,
But none a bass,
Nobody plays it, not the bass,
And my best songs sound hollow.

Some day,
We'll meet.
And that day,
You'll tell me,
"Wish we didn't break apart."

Even today, I search for true love,
But it's elusive like the golden swan.
Even today, I look for it under the trees,
I look for it on the roads and in the parks,
"Wish we didn't grow apart."

It was just an instance of rudeness,
They tell me that I should've been mature.
Maturity, is it gained when you lose your identity,
Or when you stop reacting and start responding?
"Wish you hadn't left such scorny remarks."

I have braved hellish fires,
In you, I sought some balm.
You could've applied it soothingly,
But you left remarks so disparagingly,
"Wish I still could've been mature, and not reacted."

Someday, we might meet again,
You'll finally mature enough...
That day, you’ll understand my pain,
Yes, I hope you'll not be so rough,
"Wish that day comes soon enough."

Babe, I felt warm things for you,
But your remarks—me they burned.
Babe, I had plans for the future,
But you, typical Y2K generation,
"Wish future existed for you too."

The future can be changed,
It can be accurately predicted.
Everyone was happy—everyone but you,
Babe, you should've told your mom beforehand,
"I don't want to waste my youth on the middle-aged man."

This is the futility of my feelings,
They don't matter, because I'm a man.
All my successes, they are insignificant,
They are engulfed in the quality of being effervescent,
"For there are many more younger timely successful men."

Nobody reads any of my novels,
I may have went through a lot.
But I'm turning 34 in 36 days,
I've missed the bus, I'm late.
"And nothing else matters."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

2027 is a prime number,
That 307th prime number.
Even 307 is a prime number.

On December 23, 2027,
I complete 37 years alive,
Even 37 is a prime number.

Time is a schemer,
But I'm also a cheater,
As I relived my childhood.

I was so afraid of math,
I'd had arithmophobia,
My father debunked it.

My parents looked after me,
They re–brought me up,
When I was injured.

It has been quite some time,
How long I would stay here,
But I should always rhyme.

I'm happy earning money,
I survived time's travesty,
In that time of adversity.

As I lay in the comatose state,
My Angel cried profusely.
Unknown to others, He cried.
And His tears fell on my body,
They healed my wounds.
My Angel is my Prabhu.
My Angel is my Father.

Maybe I am unlovable,
But not because I'm staunch,
Probably 'cause I'm too different,
And you search for someone familiar,
Someone humble who'll accommodate,
Person who you would proudly date,
Or maybe I'm assuming too much.
Like the paranoid paradigm,
Someone incompatible.
I've experienced life,
Oh, I've endured it,
You walked into it,
And you showed some dreams.
Prehistoric is my love divine,
Dark mystery it is for you,
Hot fantasy it is for me,
We're so very similar,
And perhaps that's why we repel.
I saw you for the first time,
Such an innocent girl,
I judged you by your face,
And I was wrong; I accept.
I said, "I wanna take you home."
The elders smiled,
Even your grandpa did,
He opined I'd take care of you,
Yes, I would've loved it...
However, the friends you talk to...
The friends jealous of you...
Someone "educated" you,
Against me, against love,
You changed your mind,
So, what about me?
It was an easy choice for me.
I just curled back into my shell...
I'm just being paranoid or eunoid.
For you're young, pretty young,
Both pretty and youthful...
Goodbye, my dream girl,
Goodbye, my youthful charm,
Goodbye, my hope of happiness,
Goodbye, my plans of a wedlock,
Goodbye, my scope of a lifelong bond,
Goodbye, my love of life.

I love brownie,
Just like I love you,
And everything sweet.

On December 23, 2023,
I was pursuing my job,
As a Probationary Officer,
At the State Bank of India.

My colleagues and parents gathered,
It was very nice; what should I say?
For a vegetarian's delight showered,
They had gathered together that day.

In Panchkula, it was the F.T.P.—2, or
Foundational Training Program 2,
All the probationers were there,
Where, in SBILD, Panchkula.

Celebrated my birthday a bit late,
For I reached there on a later day,
Not that my arrival was delayed,
Que sera sera, just systemic delay.

'Twas memorable,
Many colleagues.
We broke the ice,
I made no couple.

I reached the age of 33 years that day,
Like this time I'll complete 34 years,
But I miss being a child, or a kid,
Those birthdays were special.

On my 33rd birth anniversary,
I felt more than a year younger.
Finally a successful professional,
And obviously an eligible bachelor.

Still unmarried, now as a choice,
I don't find a compatible voice,
Those judge me by my past,
My successes matter not.

Men Going Their Own Way,
MGTOW seems a good idea,
The only viable option for me,
Isn't that the only one for me?

All I have with me,
Are just memories,
Some are besotten,
Others a' forgotten.

They consider me depressed,
Maybe I'm just depressed,
But I lack any real friend,
Lacking any inspiration.

I may have achieved success,
Academic and professional,
Like Granger & McGonagall,
Scripted through dedication.

Coming out of the shadows,
Like the full moon out there,
My parents be proud of me,
Getting married isn't crucial.

I
Did
Realise
In Time,
To succeed
And my dad
Guided me to
The epitome of
Worldly success.
Now I'm a beacon,
For you and others,
In this complete fray.
You have my example,
I realised that I have to,
Without procrastinating,
Put efforts for success too,
And for a lifestyle achieving,
I practised writing mock tests,
Not any more novels, none bro,
For I realised that I'm mi'l class.
The Indian mi'l class put efforts,
Without these, there's no bun,
So, I solved mock tests daily,
I didn't shy away and run,
Put my efforts regularly,
You too need just study.

No legislator will think of you,
For you come from the mi'l class,
And from the gen'l cat'ry too.

Your memory won't go away,
Of the days from the recent past.
The memories of togetherness,
My heart longs for you now, at last.

Why? Oh, why did you break my heart?

Had those moments been money,
I'd demonetise each one of them...
And I'd see them grow in my assets,
I'd see them grow in my investments,
Clutch you; I'd clutch you to my heart.

Why? Oh, why would you break my heart?

Had those moments been birds,
I'd lure them all inside my heart...
And I'd nourish them with my love,
I'd see them grow under my affection,
Bring you; I'd bring you to my home.

How? Oh, how could you destroy my love?

Your memory won't go away,
Of the days from the recent past.
The memories of togetherness,
My heart longs for you now, at last.

When you were born, oh my dear,
No doctor—no midwife predicted,
But, oh my dear, you've been a granny,
All throughout, all throughout.

When I first saw you,
I wanted to take you home,
Adorable, lovable, and pure
I really did want to kidnap you.

Why, you ask me...
Look at yourself,
Those pure eyes,
That cute face,
And that cuddly body.

I saw you in 2024,
And you were 24 years old,
I realised you're a 24-year-old grandma.
No fun, no bun, no run.

Oh, Teddy, I so wish...
I hope that you realised it...
Your words hurt me...
How you compared hurt me...

You generalised my trauma,
How could you compare?
You said, "Disabled people even clear UPSC-CSE,"
But you didn't stop there,
And you kept misbehaving...

If you never wanted to marry me,
You could've simply told your mom.

Off and on,
Undying spirit,
Not of positivity,
But of vengeance.

You never actually apologised,
So, I never forgave,
But it's hard,
Yes, it's so hard,
Hard to forget what we forged.

I had seen a world in your eyes,
In my mind, I had seen a future,
A future where you are with me,
A future where I train you, honey.

But why did we separate out?
C'mon now, tell me, why did we?
Couldn't you just be mine?
I wanted to live with you.

What was the need for separation?
I'm perplexed by how things went.
It was so right initially, the elation.
Why did the things prematurely end?

What did your parents tell each other,
Why did they say that to one another,
When you were born to them in that weather?

Aapse mil kar Khushi hui!

Your name is Khushi,
And Khushi means happiness,
Your parents felt glad on meeting each other.

And I bet that they were happy when you were born.

It's not necessary for God to be like they say,
And if God is indeed so limited, then it's not God.

Just think of it, come on now, just think of it,
If God is omnipotent, omnipresent & omniscient,
Then why so limited?

Why assign a gender,
Why call, 'formless,'
Why say, 'sinless?'

If God has a gender,
Why not a female?
If God is formless,
How can It judge?

You believe in men born in the desert,
Dehydrated and hallucinating men.
All your À-Bràhmìk reLIEgions,
They are follower-hungry,
Strains of narcissism.

Accept that your God is weak,
So weak that it can't even take a form,
Or even endure criticism.

Commit it,
If loving me is an act of treason.
I love you,
And I want to rest in your prison.
Your heart,
May it reflect all of my emotion.
Your lap,
I will rest my head with devotion.
Your hair,
They would obfuscate my vision.
This love,
It will shine brighter than the sun.
Just 'coz,
True love is a two-way phenomenon.

This gun you point at the kitty,
It comes with a responsibility.
Purchase shares,
Hold them longterm,
Forget the glares,
Adorn them over your years,
Hold your fire for decaditty...

Watch your children grow,
Teach them similar patience,
Money market,
It can pay you bright,
Or it might bite,
But tell them to not be scared,
Don't be scared or obsessed...

Don't speculate, oh dear trader,
For speculation is so immature,
Invest thousands,
You can reap millions,
Think of your kids,
They will thank you even later,
Much later, after you're gone...

Remember, the Devil feeds on your fears,
It dies when the fog in your mind clears.

Depression can affect you.
When things go against you,
Or they go unexpectedly away,
But don't blow your heart away,
All this is temporary, you know,
When you know, you know,
So, don't cry over things.
However, take care,
If you lose yourself,
You won't know.
It will be known,
To you unknown,
And to the world,
It will be known.
It is the whiskey,
To you, it is risky.
But take care of your liver.
If it fails, after all the abuse,
You wouldn't get your glass,
The Precious Evening Glass.

Your friends readied the kids,
In the boys hostel mess.
The day happier than ever,
I felt proud of myself.

Then I took your hand,
And guided you inside.
You were totally unprepared,
But we had trained the kids.

The canteen was filled with us,
The volunteers and the kids.
The onlookers joined the chorus,
In the Happy Birthday words.

Do you remember what the kids sang?
Why won't you, Satyaa, why won't you?
You might remember me, oh dear,
You were my old flame, and I was for you.

I said, "Here you go, dear,
This surprise we prepared,
Just for you, oh, just for you."
And your eyes teemed with tears.

You looked at me in gratitude,
But I was truthful as I told you,
"Your girl friends surprised you,
I just brought the cake, dear."

"Sakshi suggested this surprise,
Your girl friends prepared the kids,
Enjoy your birthday, Satyaa, enjoy it,"
You were speechless, completely in love.

Really,
'Twas exciting,
How I planned her birthday,
And along with her other friends I did that,
To surprise her the next day,
'Twas exciting,
Really.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

We were all colleagues and batchmates,
Teaching underprivileged kids,
Those kids at Swapan,
Yes it was,
Exciting to teach 'em,
We felt responsible & fulfilled,
I even felt that she was the one for me.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

We trained our students to sing a song,
Of course the birthday song,
They were happy,
I was too,
For her, that was,
Her girl friends tasked me,
So, I brought a birthday cake for her.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

2012 passed away without much of ado.
Without much ado, without much ado.
The warnings were anything but true.

I conquered a remarkable triumph,
Yes, I conquered 14 out of 14 tests.
From not one but two semesters.

Even my parents,
They did not expect,
I'd clear so many tests.

But oh my mama, and baba,
I remember how you took care,
How you brought me back to life.

Do not exert yourselves needlessly,
Now take some rest, my parents,
Stop searching a bride for me.

I've realised I've got an ego issue.
After all those trials & errors of love,
I cannot ever share my life with a wife.

Amplify my cuteness,
Oh! Bidaal Devi,
Like a cat,
Kitten,
Like a cat,
Oh! Feline Devi,
Amplify my cuteness.

I shall adopt some kittens,
Oh! My Cat Goddess,
Maybe a Tom,
Or a Pushy,
Maybe a Tom,
Oh! My Cat Goddess
I shall adopt some kittens.

I shall adore my kittens,
Oh! Feline Goddess,
Bring me a Tom,
Or a Pussycat,
Bring me a Tom,
Oh! Feline Goddess,
I shall adore my kittens.

I wish that cats adopt me too,
For except my parents, I'm alone,
After them, I can't imagine my life,
That's why I shall adopt some kittens,
After them, I can't imagine my life,
For except my parents, I'm alone,
I wish that cats adopt me too.

I offer my heart, Oh! Cat Goddess,
Oh!! Shashthi Maia, hear my plea,
Without your children, I'm alone,
I don't want to end up all alone,
Without your children, I'm alone,
Oh!! Shashthi Maia, hear my plea,
I offer my heart, Oh! Cat Goddess.

I loved the baby they first showed me.
He was so beautiful,
He was cute & charming.

******* eyes,
As if just Onyx.

It was the first time,
Yes, the first time,
When in front of a mirror they put me.

They know that I have special needs.
Due to the May 7, 2010 accident,
Several internal injuries—none bleeds.
For it wasn't a regular event.
Still they ask me to get married.
The accident wasn't normal.
I almost died in it. Almost.

What I got was an incomplete life,
Incomplete because I lost love,
The lover went rogue,
Because she thought I'd die.
She might have been wrong,
But I'm not really alive either.
I'm just an apparition. Really.

I wrote 7 Seconds,
Inspired metaphorically by life,
My own life in Bhaarat,
Your life in the world,
The threat of terrorism,
And the looming oil crisis.
I was not satisfied. Yes.

I wrote The 'Angel?' Saga,
Inspired by my romances,
My metaphysical chances,
The super-romantic dances,
How I lost my love,
How the bird has flown,
I was immensely satisfied. Yes.

Poetry is how I release,
Poetry is how I tease,
Poetry is how I reform,
Poetry is how I transform,
How I live my life,
How I escape death,
I feel safe in these verses. Really.

I wrote the 'Aaryavarta' trilogy,
Inspired by Darwin's evolution theory,
By all the flaws in it, actually,
Peas can't dictate human origins,
We evolved from aliens, possibly,
Human ancestors from a different planet,
More than a hundred thousand years ago!

I wrote 'Swansong: A Tribute?' too.
It envisions a near-future war,
A war between Bhaarat and China,
America will support Bhaarat against China,
That's the ABC of our world's future,
Recalling is hard for me but not writing something new,
The world will punish China too.

For their COVID crimes,
For their SARS crimes,
For their transgression crimes,
For Taiwan and Tibet,
For trade malpractices,
And the crimes against humanity,
Both in Xinjiang and in Tibet.

I do miss being able to play the guitar nicely,
Baby, I miss running fast, sprinting actually,
But my new abilities are not bad either,
I can now earn, and not just money,
But I have earned you too, oh reader,
This is not a Mozart symphony,
Still I'm like a charmer.

I sought recovery.
After my first breakup.
Social service attracted me.
I volunteered to teach for free.

Soon, I was back to old ways.
Delving deep into romance,
Finding my lucky chance,
Addiction called me again.

A co-volunteer she was.
And why not? Why not?
Me, she found interesting,
Who doesn't like an artist?

But she was a cold-blooded narcissist.
Yes, bigger than me, bigger than me,
Her pursuits included the world,
My pursuit was limited to her.

What went on in my life,
What she put me through,
What I found myself dealing with,
What I went through during that time.

Tasked with thirteen exams,
Me she had challenged,
Her narcissistic ways,
I cleared them all,

She was a liar,
Had a bloated ego,
I deflated her balloon,
She finally inflated mine.

Traders,
Traders everywhere,
Some trading stocks,
Others some shares.

But I invest,
Initiated by my mother,
Encouraged by my father,
Taught by their experience.

An orthodox,
I'm a longterm investor,
I have faith in my future,
I've not sold any holdings.

Future,
I'm building wealth for the future,
My future generations will procure,
I'll pass it on to them by legal means.

Bless,
I hope God will bless me with children,
Humans, or kittens would be my babies,
These small investments will bless them.

Humans,
If I can get married and have heirs,
Then I'll be happy to share my chairs,
I'll teach them what I've learnt in life.

Kittens,
I'll humbly adopt a pair of kittens,
If I don't gel well with humans,
Be busy even without a wife.

The old Horse 🐎,
It is not Norse.
It's a Trojan Horse,
Bred in an Italian Stable.
They utter lies,
About time that flies.
But we realise the real lies.

Day & night,
I'm enticed by you.

Day & night,
I'm lost in your thoughts.

Why are you so beautiful,
Oh, plain mirror?

My heart beats so strongly,
Yet it beats so softly.

In 2005,
I stepped into my high-school,
The last year of my high.

Dragon of my life,
Raged angrily as I performed,
Enjoying my efforts,
And I was honest,
My marks were nice,
Self-analysis gave me a few more.

Tasked with toiling hard,
All I did was procrastinate,
Shouldn't have done that,
Tests that I avoided,
Especially in secondary school,
Damaged my future goal.

Dawn and dusk,
I stayed awake,
Right then I thought about it,
Terribly doing at the test.

Seeing my Karma,
Obvious was the Phalam.

In the transition I experienced a lot.

Saw myself rise from potential death bed,
Helped by my loving parents,
Instead of passing away in anonymity,
Farewell to the first college,
Third girlfriend lied badly,
Essential narcissist off the ledge,
Dunno what she did prayed.

Transitions from non-medical sciences,
Over Biotechnology to commerce.

Men often are bitter,
Every time they jitter,
Deeming my actions unfair,
Inching me towards loneliness,
Calling me a Trojan Horse,
As they alienate ever,
Losing to my effort.

School, it was a great time,
College, it was just not mine,
Inundated by my tears,
Enthralled by my own life,
Never land of a comatose state,
Ceased to exist in my life,
Efforts put by my parents,
Slowly, I started on a clean slate.

And until now, I'm satisfied,
Not that the battle is won, but
Definitely I'm closer to victory.

Neither I am sad nor am I happy,
Over with the blues, I am patient,
But what if I never meet my end?

I don't want to live forever.

As I love my parents,
May they always stay with me.

Early adolescence is long gone,
Am missing those days,
Really carefree,
Not tensed,
I miss my past,
Not really the college,
Good were the school days.

Tasked with toiling hard to get a job,
Had I succeeded without help,
Really not without some grace,
Of my parents, and of my own,
Up above the recruitment exams,
Godly grace of my parents,
Helped me all along.

They all are happily married,
Had been my friends, but now
Enjoyin' only with their spouses.

Cheers to life,
Of course, I'm late,
Matters it to me,
Matter it does,
Early marriage was planned,
Really all got messed up,
Course of time,
Especially delivered to me.

Slowly, I realise my incompatibility,
Terribly wrong, wrongly terrible,
Realms of the dead I belonged,
Enjoying my life fully still,
Affluence sought-after,
My aim it remains.

20 years ago, I wrote my final exams for grade 8,
And I was among the toppers in the school.

I still remember the socks for the winter break,
How can I forget it, my godgranny wove that out of wool.

She's still alive, my godgranny,
Godsent angel is that lady.

I have little to no memories of my biological grannies,
Both paternal and maternal passed away whilst I was young.

My godgranny now has a gummy smile,
She closes her eyes as she smiles for a mile.

90+ years of age now, she has seen many summers,
And she has also woven so many woolen socks.

Parameshwari Ðéví is her kind name,
And now she's a greatgranny.

Born an only child,
To government servants,
I grew up in a nuclear family.
I felt very lonely until eight,
Because that was my age,
When I started reading.

Father bought me Champak,
Mother bought me ******,
I got interested in novels.
I remember the first novel,
It was Goosebumps #4,
"Say Cheese and Die!"

I was impressed with it,
So was I paranoid too,
Cameras scared me.
RL Stine hypnotised me,
Not just for a day or two,
Even now I think about it.

Robert robbed me,
With his words,
He stumped me.
Such simple stories,
But me they flummoxed,
Me they stunned.

I thank my parents for everything,
For introducing me to the habit of reading.

O stone-hearted beauty!
To forget you,
I'm trying lackadaisically.
To overcome your memories,
I'm not trying sincerely.
To love someone else,
I'm trying half-heartedly.

O cold-blooded beauty!
To love you,
I tried everything in the dictionary.
To change your prejudice,
I tried my best.
To convince you,
I didn't get my chance.

O unfeeling beauty!
To miss you,
Has become a habit.
To feel you,
Has become an addiction.
To want you,
Is an undying passion.

The fantastic witch,
The second-in-command,
She's dead.

She was 89,
And though she wasn’t mine,
I feel a teacher died.

The date was April 3, 2000.
A cool zephyr blew and
I forgot every morning blue,
Right when I saw the angel,
She was so beautiful,
As if a princess, or a fairy,
I was 9 at that time.

She had come down from the hills,
From the Himachali town of Solan,
And she had just come to our school.

I looked at her, and I was dumbstruck.

Her sideways glance,
It was so fascinating,
As if a fairy came down,
From the mountains, I mean,
I can never forget her,
Neither her name,
Nor her harmonious voice.

She became the class monitor,
And I intentionally made a noise,
To get her often talking to me,
Oh I remember everything clearly,
"Atul–Keep quiet!" she'd shout,
And I'd laugh silently, but laugh anyway,
And her nostrils would flare red.

In 2001, I drowned in the infatuation,
Deeper than the Mariana Trench,
Sitting on my school bench.

In 2002, her father expired,
And she was traumatised,
Seeing her sad, I was shocked too,
And she stopped talking to us,
But she always scored well,
Yes, she did score nicely,
And I was inspired.

In 2003, I changed schools,
But in 2005, I met her again,
She gave me her number,
I often used to call her,
Not once did she,
Because she didn't have my number,
Not that her caller ID didn't show it,
But our EPABX number always varied.

In 2007, I confessed to her on a call,
I told her, "I have always loved you,"
And she scolded me without waiting,
"Atul! I never expected this from you."
She continued, "Never call me again!"
I was crestfallen, disappointed, and sad.
I'd have sung my original song had she accepted.

That song I composed for her,
Had come out of my heart.
It was a lyric of my desperation.
And a tune of my romance.
It was a hope of my loneliness.
And a promise of my love.
But she rejected my proposal.

I never called her again, out of respect.
Anyway, I credit her for making me a poet.
I credit her for making me a singer & artist.
But I still love her so deeply, and
So truly that I look for her everywhere,
In every prospective match,
In every passing batch.

These days she's in Chandigarh.

The sun doesn't revolve around us,
And it was known to the ancient Hindus.

How they estimated precise distances,
It's still an exclusive paradigm of sorts.

This poem is not a nursery rhyme,
For it discusses what went wrong.

Wrong with the history of Hindus,
And with the tapestry of the world.

Hanging down the global gazebos,
Is a wonderful story of lost wisdom.

I was young and naughty,
Like all other kids I was.

Of the school Matador,
The minibus,
I was a commuter.

Nirmal Public School,
Was all but a
Normal Public School.

For it was a strung off
From the highway
And was my first school.

In the Matador,
The last window was
Ajar.

It was already dangling,
My friend joked,
"You can't break it."

His comment,
Me it motivated,
I sought to prove I can.

I pushed it intentionally,
And the last nuts,
They became undone.

The window went thrashing down,
And the driver-conductor duo,
Me they punished.

It was overcast that afternoon,
And they made me crouch akin to a ****,
It started raining down.

Then the math teacher came,
And she vouched for my innocence,
"It was already dangling."

The bus crew,
They argued,
"But it was still there."

I was young,
Just 7 years,
And cute too.

The bus crew,
They softened up,
And let me go.

Ma'am, do you now remember me?
You travelled by the same bus,
For you lived in the same campus.

The National Dairy Research Institute,
Its residential campus we both called home,
I miss those days when I was young.

She had introduced me,
To Hello Poetry.

'Twas a day like none other,
I reached Amritsar for her.

Accompanying me that day,
Was my kind physiotherapist.

Yes, the very same physiotherapist,
Who I dubbed physio the ******,
For the pain used to be unbearable.

But no,
'Twas necessary for my betterment.

Coming back to Amritsar,
She was pleasantly surprised.

For she thought I'd play a prank,
Just like she had played one on me.

Giving me a false hope that she'll come,
Anyway, I went to her home.

I wished her on her birthday,
My physiotherapist went away.

I tuned her guitar as E A D G B E,
Eddy Ate Dynamite, Good Bye Eddy.

They laughed, her friends.
For who eats a Dynamite!

Well, that's the standard tuning,
Now I played a few songs.

Her friends were impressed,
Of me, she was proud.

I presented her a pen drive,
A Gaņesha adorned drive.

She loved it,
And thanked me.

After the party, she insisted that I stay,
I slept beside her father.

She shook me awake, and I was like,
"Who are you," she put her hand.

"Shh, it's me," she whispered,
I understood and relaxed.

She kissed me again at 3:30 a.m. on 24th,
This time I was awake and gave her my warmth.

Later, before sunrise, I went to the Station,
I had united with my Physio The ******.

I hugged her for one last time,
And we climbed on the train back.

Now nothing remains but memories,
Bitter ones to be more precise.

She cheated on me in 2015-16,
When I couldn't go to Amritsar.

My former best friend capitalised,
The ******* induced the breakup.

But that girl, who got so easily seduced,
She Wasn't Sad — Droņa Wept Like Kids.

And the immortal Droņa died,
Unable to trust anyone again.

I recall that girl,
Happy & healthy,
Always with a chill,
Always with a thrill.

I remember that I had promised,
That girl from Chandigarh,
I had promised...

I promised to sing,
So, in her memory, I sing...

I promised to smile,
So, in her memory, I smile..

I also promised to laugh,
So, in her memory, I laugh.

For you,
From my terrace garden,
I bring a bouquet.

Of daffodils,
And
Of daisies.

He was on a training mission down south,
There, his landlady told him to get married.

He hesitantly agreed to flash a matrimonial,
He anyway did so in a local newspaper.

She responded to his call in the newspaper,
She was attracted by his description.

They got married in a minimalist manner,
Saving money for a combined future.

The first demand she had surprised him,
She asked him to maintain a moustache.

With time, when he grew that mouser,
She was impressed with his manliness,

"I've seen denser moustaches,
None looks as elegant as yours."

Then they went to his home in North,
For the honeymoon, they went to Srinagar.

I am going to forget your memories from my heart,
It's as if I'm going to erase my own existence.

This fiddle 🎻 I play so passionately as an art,
It's as if I'm going to shatter it down piece by piece.

I am going to forget your memories from my heart,
It's as if I'm going to erase my own existence.

May these clouds cry their shower along me,
For today, I'm going to weep like grown-up babies.

Fingers hurt, especially the ones in my left hand,
As they slide vigorously on the violin's neck.

Let me rub my regrets onto this rebec's neck,
Ah! The friction on the strings pierced my fingers.

This violin's strings become undone by my ferocity,
I'll sleep, knowing that I can't be loved by any.

You
Crazy
Diamond

You're a person with a standard,
Of your life, I look to become a part.
Me you'll never find meandered,
For you, I'll prepare the custard.
You may call it a pudding if desired,
Or you may just consume that.
But you be well-mannered,
I need you humble & well-behaved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heavens opened up
And showered their
Pure blessings on you
Promising new reasons for
You to be happier than ever

Beginning this year
Is this saga of love
Right from our hearts
That will end not ever,
How we met was amazing,
Dark days of anonymity,
Ahead for some more time,
Yet I shall really make it work.

My dear best friend,
You promise me today
Should this love never fade,
Ever with the tides of time,
Loving me will be your elixir and
Forever shall I always love you faithfully.

For you, I am an artist,
My art is music,
My art is love.

For you, I am a soldier,
My duty is guarding,
My duty is protecting.

You lost someone special,
I'm an addition new,
Do not worry, dear,
I'm here to stay here.