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Oct 2018 · 821
i am empty.
my entire life, my body and soul have felt so hollow
this pain in my throat’s just too hard to swallow.
oh the ******* guilt inside me is a fire burning
so i build up walls to protect you from hurting.
i didn’t want to end up all by myself
but for you it’s best i’m not a book on your shelf.
you shouldn’t read through the chapters of my chaotic life
and endure the same misery as if to be stabbed by a knife
the same blade i use to penetrate & slice my skin
opening my flesh, trying to release my demons within
i get hypnotized by the way my blood bleeds
watching myself suffer, lacking what a human needs.
one mortal cannot tread through life without love
does my life even matter if they’re already given up?
the voice of depression: “i am so lonely. i keep questioning myself. questioning my life. what’s the point anymore?” It is such a consistent and persuasive disease. it’s similar to how a shadow can never disappear; lights on, it’s right beside you (even when you aren’t looking for it). lights off, it’s surrounding you (the darkness is all shadows, not just yours.)
Apr 2017 · 1.5k
What Happened that Night?
they say you shouldn't hold tight onto a dark memory
because the demons will slowly take over
and corrupt your sanity.
what they fail to mention is releasing your grip, allowing yourself to cave in and be consumed with your reality is the most painful of all.
frame by frame of the haunting must now be relived.
the aroma, the deafening pounding of your heart in your ears, the clenching of your bones.
the most engaging and powerful moment of one's life is undoubtably the moment you must
allow yourself to not only remember,
but be enveloped by the terror
once again.
speaking aloud is what changes
a memory into reality.
**why must facing the truth be the most painful?
poem poetry honest author inspire question pain **** abuse neglect drug terror real life anxiety depression torture
Apr 2017 · 1.6k
I have tasted darkness,
and oh how bitter-sweet it was on my tongue.
It electrified my taste buds
and sent my body numb.
I had never felt a rush vibrate my bones
from the eruption of tears
escaping from eye to cheek.
what an odd sensation
to smile for being weak.
i'm victim to my demons
and their persuasive way of speech.
hanging by my fingertips,
fascinated by how they bleed.
one slight movement and my spirit will soar.
tempting to not only try,
but succeed the evil deed.
Jan 2017 · 1.3k
the sickness that spreads
it lives within me.
it has wrapped and tangled itself into my core,
like gum trapped in hair.
it has a sour taste
that has tattooed itself onto my tongue.
forever lingering.
it has made it's mark on my skin,
it has marked it's territory inside of my soul,
like a dog with the boundaries of it's yard
defensive and ready to fight any intruder,
no matter who they may be.
i should be terrified and
petrified to have allowed a demon
access and control
of my being.
but depression has a mind of it's own.
it will let the darkness consume
every ounce of light left in your bones
until they shatter to dust.

*it lives within me
and will not leave until
my heartbeat has become mute.
Jan 2017 · 1.0k
Who I AM
you ask me who i am,
but rather you should ask what i am not.

i am a soul who was once so lost.
i was walking a path that only brought destruction.
i blamed myself for not being good enough.
i inflicted wounds onto my skin,
i restricted my hunger,
i tried to end it all one day
and then i heard the voice.
i am not sure who it belongs to,
but it saved my life.
Do not let this fool you,
i did not want to be saved.
i did not want to breathe.

i was a girl
who had played too many games,
fought too many battles,
and lost too much hope.
I was a girl
who tried to call the grim keeper,
who was hospitalized by a friend,
who was touched by unwanted hands.
I was a girl
who was abused by her father,
abandoned by her family,
and fooled by her friends.

who has finally found respect for herself.
I was broken,
my soul shattered into millions of pieces,
but i am healed
and more alive than ever.

i was lost
but now i am found.
Dec 2016 · 1.1k
i am ashamed
a way to cleanse my soul,
a cure to my diseases.
writing is my angel.
when my mouth becomes at fault
to organize my words,
writing is my savior.

but sometimes a haze
covers my analytical abilities.
like a cloud casting shadows onto earth's ground.
writers block is poisonous to my fragile brain.

i hate that i forget how to rescue myself.
i'm drowning in my lack of awareness.
struggling to speak through my hands.
i'm afraid it is too late
to save my once poetic mind.

even this makes me horrified
that i may
have lost my voice
Sep 2016 · 1.0k
Questioning Evil
Why would one let themselves be consumed by the darkness that they had been fighting for so long?
The darkness had slowly taken their soul, piece by piece, until only dust remained.
People do not understand that sadness is much easier to feel than happiness.
Why does it feels better to wallow in your own sorrows, to continue to be destroyed by your thoughts?
Why do our demon's whispering sins tempt us to try?
Why are bad things so enticing?
Jul 2016 · 1.2k
She is my Sister.
she was once so beautiful.
her skin would glow,
her laugh was contagious,
her presence in a room would never be unnoticed.
but then.....
so much pain filled her life in such short time,
she lost control
and she lost herself.
she decided numbness
would be better
than feeling all together.
she concealed the scars on her hands.
her secret wonderland would be her escape.
the sting of the needle,
the rush of pure nirvana....

she is no longer beautiful.
her skin clings to her bones,
thirsty for a fix, hungry for the sting.
her presence is still noticed by others,
but the glares now radiate disgust.
she doesn't notice,
she is too numb to understand my pain,
she is too lost to feel my tears,
and she is too far from my reach
for me to
save her.
why do my thoughts no longer create symphony's?
with metaphors as my orchestra,
I could release the information that crammed and over loaded my cerebrum.
it makes me confused as to why I would neglect that precious side of me.
the special gift that
saved my life.
how could I neglect you?
how could I forget myself?
my anorexic-like spirit is
so hungry for the taste of my memorie's return.
Mar 2016 · 1.0k
Why I Lost Him.
I remember the pain
my heart was overflown with.
I remember how I inflicted
wounds into my porcelain skin.
a punishment
for not being the girl
he wished for.
I still remember the sting
of your voice as it echoed
move on
through my membrane.
I had dedicated my all to you,
but it was never enough.
I did everything
to make your lips remain
pursed against mine,
to keep your fingertips tracing my features.
I did everything
to fight against my corrupted thoughts,
to hide from my monsters.
but I forgot
that no matter how far I ran,
how hard I tried to believe I was okay,
my monsters,
my demons,
my disease
remained in my core.
and because of my weakness
and inability to control
I forgot to remember
to love myself.
Mar 2016 · 964
The Sad Truth
you blame yourself for everything.
you believe you could have done
to have prevented the event from occurring.
but darling,
humans are responsible for their own actions,
all decisions are self-made.
i know you have heard the voices in your head
tell you otherwise.
this is all your fault
and I know you persuaded to your heart and soul
with a melody of pleading.
please stay with me, for me
but they were deaf to your music.
do not blame yourself
for their lack of knowledge.
do not blame yourself
for their failure.
so please,
do not blame yourself
for not being able to
be their savior.
Mar 2016 · 1.3k
Sensual Longing
your smooth, hazelnut skin
tempts me to touch.
your silky, sensational kiss
tempts me to devour.

waste yourself away with me.
reach out into the oblivion
and become lost in the iris of my soul.

take me away to outer space
and make love with me on saturns' rings.
teach me to not forget my past,
teach me how to accept and embrace it
because all encounters I've made thus far
has all brought me to you.

let us allow our souls
to tangle and intertwine.
let us allow our souls
to love as they were made to do.
Feb 2016 · 1.3k
What Life Beholds....
I'm begging to find a purpose
in this god-forsaken world.
I feel smaller than a particle of dust.
how could I possibly make a difference?
do I have the right to earn such a gift?
I do not believe I am worthy of so,
or worthy to walk where my feet have imprinted themselves onto the surface of earth.
could I be blind to my own awards?
is life a reward in itself?
weren't you and I each chosen to form in our mothers' womb?
this was clearly not ours to make,
so shouldn't we take the time day by day
to figure out why we
were made?
Feb 2016 · 1.1k
Fallen for the Wrong One.
his touch was electrifying,
he made me believe our love
was strong enough
to shift mountains,
to stop time,
end all pain.
but then I found out.
I found the truth
and it rattled my brain,
churned my stomach,
sliced through my core.
I believed your false grin
and mistaked it for being mine.
you lied to me about our love,
you said I was the only one.
you left me dumbfounded
and scatterbrained.
why did I put my trust into ***** hands.
Feb 2016 · 890
screaming into a room filled with people,
and yet i still feel silent.
ripping at my skin begging for beauty to appear,
and yet I have not been granted my wish.
clawing at my eyes to finally see what gifts life has offered me,
and yet I still feel alone.
why is it so hard
to forgive,
to accept,
to love
has my brain become so damaged by society
that a switch turning off
causing a disease
to spread like wildfire through my cells?
I beg myself to be normal,
try to accept that I'm different.
but different isn't normal
and normal isn't me.
I have to accept it and move on,
be who I am meant to be.
Jan 2016 · 693
"You Don't Understand."
isn't it strange how the human brain
causes you to feel emotions
you cannot explain?
what do you call the feeling you're overcome with as a scent from the past tickles the inside of your nose?
feeling a sense of eruption when those hands you've longed to caress finally slide to the nape of your back, when those lips you've studied for so long finally collide onto yours.
these feelings are much too strong to be considered simple emotions,
these feelings can build a new beginning to your life's foundation,
they can crumble the dream into sharps of glass that cut deep into your core, what is this feeling?
I crave to acknowledge and correct societies overuse of claiming and calling our emotions.
These feelings are much too strong to be considered
Jan 2016 · 880
22:05 pm
his lips were as tender as a moonlit sky
on a still winter night.
I felt stars burst and volcanos erupt
in the depths of my soul
as his fingertips traced the length of my back.
silk was his touch,
and I wanted to bury myself in the sheets.
Jan 2016 · 1.0k
you looked into my eyes today,
and i finally felt what i have been praying for.
i felt a sense of relief.
my stomach didn't drop
and my knees didn't feel weak.
I've come to realization
that what we had
was not love,
it was childish lust.
I finally know
that my heart no longer rests in your hands.
I finally feel free
from the grip of your eyes
because when I looked back into them today
Dec 2015 · 1.2k
My Sister
my beautiful sister,
what made you plunge so deep into the darkness?
was the high just so enticing?
was it a craving for the sting of the needle
as you shoved it through your porcelain skin?
was our love not enough for you?
was it not enough for you to stay?
I wish I knew
why you hated yourself
so much
that your demons forced you
to crave the numbness
and you willingly listened.
I hate you for making my thoughts race,
Is she still alive?
Was there anything I could have done to
prevent this?

But I love you for leaving me with old childhood memories.
my beautiful sister,
I am begging
for you,
to return home.
Dec 2015 · 2.8k
The Snake.
don't fall victim to the snake.
for its venom will slice
through your blood stream
as smoothly
as a blade across skin.
don't let the snake's eyes fool you,
behind his sly tongue
lies sharp fangs
that are waiting
for your vulnerability to show.
and any minute,
the snake could turn you
from his prize,
to his feast.
Dec 2015 · 799
I Surrender.
I felt strong and able to move forward,
but then I saw you
and you saw me.
then you kissed her.
and I felt my whole makeshift world
come tumbling back down.
I felt my legs weaken beneath me
and my heart crack and spill open.
my blood boiling in my ears,
the noise is so loud
I become deaf.
my hands become numb.
you kissed her.
the one person I had given my everything to,
I had never thought I could become
I am weak because
you broke me,
It's back to the end,
I am frail because
I let you invade into my cerebrum
where you had once imprinted your soul.
I feel ashamed for
letting your eyes
trigger my sorrows.
I am nothing
because I had let you
hurt me;
I had let you
win my tears,
Dec 2015 · 767
I Wish...
we have become lost in our own minds.
our love has crumbled into
shards of glass,
and they
have become engulfed into my skin.
I wish the sharp edges would cut deeper
so I would suffer no longer.
but that is selfish and I apologize
for my lack of better judgement.
but I wish you knew how much I miss you,
how much I think about you,
how much I still love you.
God I wish you could know and understand.
but I've realized "wishing"
only leads to crushed dreams,
a broken heart,
and a bitter taste of regret.
oh... my...
I miss you terribly,
and I can only wish
you felt the same.
Nov 2015 · 1.1k
our bodies are meant to protect
our spirits,
our souls.
but why do we inflict so much harm
onto our skin
the creator
so precisely wove together?
don't we realize how precious we are?
don't we understand the delicacy of our souls?
we have made ourselves into wilting flowers
that were once fully bloomed.
we have shattered the glass of our meaning
that once was bullet-proof.
We listened to the wrong whisper,
the one that spoke ill-like.
Slice the skin open, it commanded.
You'll feel better, it lied.
We have become sick, intolerable creatures
with bruises covering our hearts.
We have destroyed our bodies,
exactly what the demons wanted us to do.
Nov 2015 · 579
Remember Me
Has my existence meant nothing to you?
did you lie to me when you spoke of the electricity that sparked as our lips first touched under the stars?
because now all I see is you,
with her.
so quickly, the "love" you had disappeared?
I hope you're reminded of my erupting breathe tickling your skin,
my tongue that performed a dance with yours,
and my soul that gave it all to you.
remember that, remember me,
when you decide to caress someone else's soul.
Nov 2015 · 5.4k
Enveloping into Darkness
I fell in love with the dark.
I found comfort in the sorrow-filled shadows .
selfish, I know.
but it is all I know.
you used to help me find beams of light,
but now there are no traces of hope remaining.
I have been consumed whole.
Nov 2015 · 830
quick thought
as I sat and watched the sun set over the trees,
I couldn't help but notice
the last beams of light.
they danced patterns along my skin,
creating a warm touch that seemed to
the cells underneath.
Nov 2015 · 749
07:37 am
why is it that every time I feel my strongest,
you somehow evolve slowly back into my membrane.
they overflow my cerebrum.
and then
my tears run red
and drip down my fingertips.
I hate how you do this to me.
weak, vulnerable, guilty.
I am numb when I think of your voice.
I quiver with fear of tomorrow,
how am I supposed to move forward
if my mind continues to dwell on the past?
Nov 2015 · 483
23:02 in November
I hate how much I miss your eyes,
the emotion spoken in them before our lips connected.
your eyes could speak to me, I could see the story before your mouth opened.
I remember how lost I could become while drowning in the deep brown of your iris.
but I just can't stop thinking about one thing...
how much I ******* hate you for making me cursed.
everywhere I look
everything I touch
every pair of eyes that dare to look in mine
how much I loved the warmth they held,
the love I thought I saw deep inside.
all I want is to forget your eyes,
and to forget you,
to forget
Oct 2015 · 658
Questioning Myself
why do I find so much comfort in the darkness?
why is it so hard for me to not be so in love with feeling empty and alone?
people say I need to change, to fix myself, to love myself.
they don't realize how hard it is do so
when I have only felt happiness in myself
as the white powder is stuffed up into my brain?
why is the speed so enticing that I never want to be without it,
because without it I feel as if
I have once again fallen deeper into
the darkness than I ever was before.
Sep 2015 · 638
Free at last
I am lost at sea,
drowning in my own tears.

I look to my left and stare
at the pieces of our boat
we had built together with our intertwined hands.
our intertwined hearts.
I look to my right,
I see you being rescued.
You were always smarter.

I am being destroyed by the heavy, dark waves.
my screams are being silenced,
my body is loosing strength.
You were always stronger.

These waves are killing me,
while they are saving you.
I inhale one last breathe and
let the waves swallow me whole.

and now,
I am saved.
Sep 2015 · 496
No Longer Together.
I'm no longer the cause of that erupting breathe of lust after our bodies collided in rhythm.
in fact, I am nothing of yours.
I chose to not feel my face when I could have just reached out and caressed yours.
I can't even feel your cheek against mine anymore.
I feel the distance our souls have created between us.
that I created between us.
I feel the ache in my stomach as memories of you engulf my cerebrum.
I have a lump in my throat as I whisper your name out into the darkness from the comfort of my bed.
I call out to you from miles away only wishing you'll receive goosebumps along your skin from what you called my electric touch.
I hate how we are separate but together, I see you but cannot touch you.
you are a rare antique in a museum I am forbidden to hold anymore.
Jul 2015 · 950
My Promise to You
the scent of sadness lingers over your lips as you whisper the word;
and as I'm trying to move foward,
while forcing the stream of tears flowing down my cheek to never end,
I can't seem to fight the force
that wants me to
give up and understand that your tears shall never fall upon my hands again.

you're being is a closed exhibit in a forgotten museum,
a place i will never be able to find no matter how far and wide I search the depths of the earth.

you are a foreign stranger,
just another face in the sea of humanity.

BUT you were once my universe,
you once showed me how love can truly exist.
you had showed and reflected hope onto my life.
you marked a footprint in my life,
a milestone.
your heart cared similar to a mother caring for her first infant child.

my heart had continued to beat because of you,
you had showed me strength
and you taught me to never give up.
so here is my promise to you,
I shall never forget your promise to me;
*just keep pushing , no matter how much weight the universe is placing on your shoulders.
Jul 2015 · 953
Never Enough.
I can't stop these erupting voices from telling me;
I try my best,
but the best is never enough.
I work till my hands are bleeding,
till my feet are swollen,
till my brain is pulsing.
but it's never enough blood,
not enough pain,
too little of suffering.
in order to get better
they say;
but enough is never enough
and the pain is never ending.
i will die because of the result of my failure to accept love.
Jul 2015 · 543
The End.
i can't believe I lost you,
in a selfish-foolish way.
I thought I needed the pills,
I thought I needed the line,
but what I truly needed
was your eyes.
they looked at me with such tenderness,
a love so deep it's never ending.
I needed your arms,
that held my fingers to stop prying open my skin.
I wish I knew myself better at the time I had you.
I ended it all because I thought I
already had
it all.
**** me to hell for my ****** choices.
I hope one day you'll show that sparkle in your eye to another...
even as I type these words I can't get myself to truly want that.
I lost the one thing I needed to keep me alive.
and so now, my readers,
this is goodbye.
not really goodbye, just very upset.
Jun 2015 · 920
the words have left my brain
the pen has fallen out of my hand
and on to the floor.
the page is not blank however.
my tears are the new instruments
that paint the pretty picture.
I have lost the focus and ability to focus.
my motivation left the day
you completely faded away.
my heart pounded for you,
how could you be so deaf?
I nearly bursted with rage,
how could you be so heartless?
I've become crumbled ruins;
craving to be built up again.
this is my cry towards my happiness,
where did you go?
how could you leave me?
Jun 2015 · 821
Holding Hands
I was traveling in darkness,
holding hands with the grim keeper.
then you came along
and the clouds parted ways,
the sun finally shined onto the scars embedding my forearm.
I saw the person I used to be;
a lost soul who wanted nothing more than to be 6 feet under.
But you helped me find myself.
you helped me finally envision a tomorrow;
something I thought I could not experience.
you made me believe love truly does exist,
and I realized I wouldn't know love
if I hadn't decided to entangle
my fingers into yours
and let go
of the grim keeper's.
May 2015 · 1.0k
Love is my Drug
he's more addicting than nicotine,
he's more addicting than ******.
he is my
drug of choice.
i cannot go a day without him.
like an addict with the pill,
the needle,
the lighter.
I need him more than oxygen,
because with out his hands
holding my heart:
my lungs with fill
with blood,
my heart would turn
to stone,
my brain would fill
with oxygen,
my body would turn
he is my strength,
he is my soul,
he is my one true
addiction; *love.
Apr 2015 · 709
Dead before Dying
the excruciating pain of forcing myself to breathe in the toxic air
is that compared to one
pressing a blade to a vein
and slicing open the skin so tightly stitched together.
life was meant to be explored,
meant to be valued.
not a place to feel trapped in,
a place to despise.
why do people feel the need to push others towards their very edge,
dangling on their fingertips.
stepping on fingers, making even the last fragment of hope an absurd wish.
life leads to death,
somehow though I have become acquaintances with
the grim keeper
along my road towards darkness.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
The Soliloquy of a Sad Girl
it's a weird feeling, this emptiness. this feeling of existing, but not living. just walking, wandering. lost in life, with no destination in sight. I had one once, but now it seems that a goal that was once at my fingertips has moved miles and miles away from me. I feel like my mind has been tortured by words of negativity— my existence has been threatened by my own hands due to people voicing their "opinions". This Generation has turned the amendment 'freedom of speech' into 'freedom to destroy the soul of a human being.'
Words hurt just as much as being physically beaten, think twice before speaking your mind. Will your words build that person up, or crush their minimum amount of joy left in their frail bodies?
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Meaning of Life
We, as humans, were placed on this earth to become a high power. We were created to express the meaning of 'Unique' and 'Different' - yet in this day and age we are judged so harshly on merely the way we dress or talk. Humanity is destroying Humanity; we are creating a world full of breathing corpses who have no sense of joy for life anymore. Why do we continue to live this way? Life is not meant to be tortuous; instead of feeling trapped and judged, we should feel FREE and explore as many parts of the Earth as we can before our time here is over. Exploration of the world is the key to freedom, the key to the true feeling of being a human being. Living is a privilege, we need to value this token of gratitude from The Higher Power; whoever that truly may be.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Life Interlude.
I have reached a resting stop in my life long journey towards complete and utter happiness. I am drained, weak, and nauseous. I can't do a single thing in life without worrying about a consequence, a mistake, a fear. If I move on; will I be wishing I stayed? If I stayed will I forever be regretting my decision? I need to see the world, but I also enjoy some things in this life. I crave adventure, but comfort is easy to find and 'home' it is easy to call.  I want to see what life has to offer, but what if it isn't as glorious as people proclaim? what if I am not the person I believe I am? a unique writer who craves inspiring scenery? Or am I just a little girl who's been thrown around by society, mind so hazed that I cannot figure out what I truly desire? Life; it's a living hell - but with an open mind and no pessimistic outlooks, it can be a best selling book waiting to be written. I might have the ability and opportunity to be the Author, through terrors, tortures, and turmoil... I might be able to make my hell into someone else's hope. I just have to keep going, moving forward, and stop looking back and dawning on the past.
Mar 2015 · 1.1k
Writers Block
sometimes the words cannot be formed;
your mind is in a constant 'stand by mode.'
it's a flaw in the chemical balance of our own existence.
human nature has suffered through
and neglect.
yet why when I cannot think of a simple sentence or two to release my tension and anger,
I feel as if  THIS  pain
is the worst of all.
Feb 2015 · 899
2015 Scarlett Letter.
i have been placed on to a pedestal.
for every one to gawk at and be repulsed by.
I do not hate these people for judging what I've done.
I'm an animal
trapped in a cage
but understanding when a finger is pointed my way and the booming voices shout
And what tears my insides apart
is that I have not only
my friends,
but also myself.
I despise what I see in the mirror;
even the existence of my being.
how can the unforgivable
be forgiven?
Feb 2015 · 855
Cause and Effect
Forever will never be enough.
Time will never last long enough.
I was never strong enough
to keep you safe.
I was told I would never be good enough,
you proved them wrong at first.
Holding my hand, while caressing my heart with your passion of life.
But now you've ruined it all.
By using the hands you held onto mine so strongly with to end your own life.
Now I'm told that you saw the real me,
and wanted no part.
I can see right through the lies..
but oh
you selfish ******* you.
You left me, alone and confused.
all the while of never
thinking to hand me back my heart
you ruined me.
completely and infinitely;
I will always remain broken.
Feb 2015 · 1.6k
I've been waiting
and hoping
so patiently;
but my time is running out,
and my skin is starting to wrinkle,
and my heartbeat is starting to slow,
and my lips are starting to crack
from being without another pair to caress mine tenderly in so long.
I've been waiting for a someone to come save me;
but I never realized that sometimes you have
to be
Jan 2015 · 834
07:13 am
from dusk to dawn
I have lied awake next to you.

listening to your even breathes,
wondering what you were dreaming of.

I long to fall asleep next to you,
but seeing the man, who changed my life so much and so quickly,
in such a peaceful state of mind
is far greater
than dreaming of lying next to you.

the warmth of your skin touching mine
is far more enticing
than lying all alone
in my cold, dark room.

an epiphany has arose in my mind;
the sun is rising,
my lover is fast asleep,
and I'm laying in bed
indulging it all in.

life is a miraculous and beautiful,
and this moment right now
just proves to me that
everyone is apart of someone before we are even created;
and my oh my
I hope I've found the missing piece
to my puzzle of a life.
Jan 2015 · 1.5k
Battling with the Disease
I yearn to feel complete,
and full.
For so long I have felt
and vulnerable.
I'm sick of this
I'm tired of this
tortuous thing that I have
so unluckily
I'm done with trying to fight it;
for I am the champion of my mind.
Victory shall be mine;
forever and always
I purposely left the name of the disease out that I'm currently fighting with so then other people can relate to it as well; whether it is an actual life threatening disease of the human body, depression, ED's, drug addictions, suicidal issues, etc. YOU ARE THE VICTOR OF YOUR MIND, do NOT let the demon of lies torture you further. you are beautiful and loved; if you need me to prove it to you my Message Box is ALWAYS open and I'm always willing to listen to your words and/or give you advice. xoxo
Jan 2015 · 949
Addict of words
when I feel the sensations
of words starting to make sense
in my mind;
this is when I feel high.
writing is my drug of choice.
it fufills my needs
and makes me feel "okay".
to keep the feelings trapped inside
my silenced mouth
and speeding mind
is like when a drug addict
comes down from the high.
it makes me feel
and uncontrollable.
I am nothing without a pencil
and paper;
I was destined for greater.
and greater
I shall become.
Jan 2015 · 12.7k
body image
the mirror that whispers,
the mirror that shouts,
words of hate
and torture
and spout.
the lies it speaks
are of disgust.
the thoughts it creates
turns 'should stop eating'
to a 'must'.
the mirrors lies are tempting
to try,
but a forewarning ;
the lies will control you,
and they will eat you alive.
Jan 2015 · 632
loss of you
it is a new year,
it brings new beginnings.
yet why do I continue to feel
this heavy, dark weight
of the loss of you.
my heart continue to beat,
yet I am not alive.
I am dead to the world,
unable to soar with my wings spread wide.
all because of YOU.
you took my happiness
and crushed it into pieces.
i hate you
but I love you,
and that's what scares me the most.
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