Drowning in the sauce
I sink to the bottom of the bottle

Rage fueled inferno
Explodes with ever sip

Blacked out visions can't see a thing
Abandoned in the second and lost

Seven hundred fifty gone in an hour
Lives turned upside down and split

Total carnage and all my fault
Don't remember a thing

Lights flash, sirens scream, cries a plenty
Taken away and put in the tank

Two days past, five are dead
Sitting all hazed from all of the pain

Created a disaster, messed up lives
Hit the bottle. Why did I drive?

Flood on me
Drown me deep
Gasping for air
Daunting mystique

Impaled vulture claws
Tearing out vein
Captivating ****
Wretched in pain

Injected in the arm
Poison me slow
Agonizing sediments
Driven in the hole

Trapped in the wreck
Impaled by the steel
**** drunk driver
Can't really feel

Long way down
High off the bridge
Rejecting my mistake
Dead on the ridge

Walk through the garden of evil,
crushed petals of broken flowers fall quietly.

See the shadows between the trees,
their prickly branches bruise my thoughts
and trick my mind.

The heavy mist covers the moonlit path,
but I am blinded by the dreary images that are in front of me.

Slipped on the moss covered rocks,
I lay peacefully in the cold water.

I have become the garden of evil,
overtaken by the discord of flowers as they take me in my sleep.

Live together.
Breathe together.

Attack each other.
Destroy each other.

Broken crayons still write but broken dreams remain shattered.

Reverse the question.
Question the reverse.
The answers might surprise you.

Answer the question.
Question the answer.
The problem is never solved.

Solve the problem.
Problem the solved.
Impossible possibilities.

I have hid behind broken shadows, disappointed daydreams and somber reminders.

I have been bitten by the black widow of life, poisoning my veins with her venom of death.

I have been mutilated like one of Jack the Ripper's victim on the dark streets of London, left to bleed out.

I have escaped the evil smiles of Pogo the Clown that crept in my dreams as I slept at night, crying my black tears.

I have been Bound, Tied and Killed by the innocent friendly neighbor, twisted in the head by the devil himself.

I could hear the screams of the pregnant actress as the Family took her life in a blood bath, as they began their Helter Skelter.

I can not escape this Alcatraz of torture in my mind, that has been placed there by the lunatics of our time. But it is fun in this asylum.

Welcome to my padded cell.

Your little hands bruised me
Your little words scorned me
Your little knives cut me
Your little face haunts me
Your little mind scares me
Your little heart loved me
But all your little things killed me

Trapped in my cocoon,
hanging from the tree.
Soon to escape,
time to break free

What will I see?
Is the world dark?
Long is the day,
but it's looking pretty stark.

Now is my time,
it finally opens up.
I want to go back in
and close this thing shut.

Four long days
Festering inside
Teasing me
Breaking my pride

Attacking every atom
Counting my cost
Squeezing my energy
All day, I am lost

I can not move
You puts me in chills
Stand up dizzy
On the floor, no frills

Finally you stop
No torture no pain
You finally left me
Don't come back again

I heard my song
on the twisted radio.
It sent me on a path
that I didn't want to go.

It rang up my past
of hate and deceit.
Sad song of yesterday
gone down in defeat.

It ***** through the straw
of castrated demands.
The beat of the drum
plays in the band.

Put in my place
from every note played.
It's the last song I hear,
I don't want to stay.

Get out of my head.

**** the pain.

Oh migraine.

She was laid to rest in May
in a small cemetery in a small town.
She was ninety nine and a half.
She was my grandmother.

Looking back I remember.
I would stay at her house
in the summer.
It would take me away
from the pains of home.

We would play games
or go to the movies.
She would take me bowling
each night I stayed, it was our thing.

The next morning, I could hear
bacon sizzling from my room.
She made scrambled eggs, bacon,  fresh squeezed orange juice and pancakes.

She was my light away from the dark. She took my pain away. She eased my worries like no other. She was my grandmother.

If I could have one wish right now in the world.  It would be to have more pancakes with my grandmother.

Hit rock bottom.
My lungs burn.
Cold steel jungle.
Never did learn.

Ink on the arm.
Stories do tell.
Life behind bars.
Sure is hell.

Many empty nights.
Lost in my dream.
One last tear.
In silence do I scream.

Walking in somber.
Bitten by tragedy.
Finding the fault.
Death of the comedy

Leaving my print.
Sad words to say.
Film on the floor.
Gone another day.

Slip knotted into my past,
blood soaked cloth covers my eyes.
You are uninvited.
This is bizarre. Am I going crazy?

My paradise is lost in the deep,
no survival or sunset.
No headlights working,
the black balloon burst.

Swallowing broken glass
and coughing up crimson.
I lay on bed on nails
with a thousand holes in my back.

Excepting my realities,
is it all lies in my head.
Not knowing the truth,
my memories are a myth.

Look into my atomic shadow.
In my purple and reds.

Drop in my subsonic dream.
In my orange and greens.

Walk in my sidewalk shoes.
In my midnight blacks.

Look at my shadows.
Drop in my dreams.
Walk in my shoes.

See my darkness.

My knife cuts me.
I am scarred.
Drip crimson red,
my life is marred.

I was living in color.
Now black and gray.
Fading in violence.
What can I say?

Infected by silence,
deafening pain.
Injecting the needle,
deep in the vein.

Feeling the flow
and gripping the ****
Toes over the corner,
fall to my death.

Fury sets in.
Daggers sharpened.
Circles surrounds.

Pounding hearts fail.
Subliminal trips.
Scarred memories.

Twisted my soul.
Sinister evil.
Insidious triggers.
Sights are clean.

Minds ruined.
Lost runaway.
Blind alley.
Point of no return.

I see a cruel world through my view finder!!

Devastated
Mental
War

Trauma
Decapitated
Enemies

Alone
Fear
Com­bat

Tortured
Lost
Sounds
Crazy

Candle goes out.
Pitch black.
Silence.
Pushed back.

Alone in the room.
Fear sets in.
Hair stands up.
You win.

Lights back on.
I win.

You hear the buzz.
Your body is tense.
The needle goes in.
The ink flows.

You begin to relax.
Your mind wonders.
Black and grays.
Traditional.  Oriental.

It's mesmerizes your soul.
You are lost in the moment.
Minutes turn to hours.
It's all done.

It is there.
On your body.
For the world to see.
Permanent ink.

Haunted at the mist.
Shadows swallow me whole.

Visions of the past.
Shadows beckon my call.

Summons of the evil.
Pierces at the heart.

Casting out the spells.
Pierces every part.

Was it because,

   I wore black?
   I wore make up?
   I colored my hair blue?
   I listened to different music?
   I didn't play sports?
   I had few friends?
   I didn't say Hi to you?
   I didn't wave to you?
   I didn't go to prom?
   I didn't fit in with the norm?
   I was fat?
   I was skinny?
   I was gay?
   I was black?
   I was Asian?
   I was white?
   I wasn't as beautiful as you?
   I wasn't on the honor roll?

Or was it because
I was just being me?

Mind my loss.

Lost my mind.

Do I really care?

I drew a picture,
so simple and clean.

I drew on it canvas,
so ugly and mean.

I drew with it crayon
with red and black.

I drew it with anger
with a knife in my back.

I drew from my mind
and things that you hid.

I drew from inside
and hole that you dig.

I drew a picture,
thought it was cute.

I drew it on canvas,
thought I killed you.

There are lightning bugs
in the killing jar.

Oh no, I dropped it.

All dark now.

Good bye.

In the bag of death he lay,
all zipped up, here to stay.

Upon his toe, there hangs a tag,
Dead on Arrival, lies on the slab.

Eyes closed shut, red everywhere.
Taken away,  nobody cares.

His pain is gone, he cries no more.
Silence is simple, down to the core.

Shot in the chest, wouldn't you know?
Another victim is gone named John Doe.

Isn't cliche'?
What others do say.

They mean no harm,
but pound the alarm.

They say it out loud,
but not very proud.

They are behind the screen,
and can be very mean.

They take no shame,
but they are to blame.

They have no intent,
but they are the one bent.

They seem fake.
but please, give me a break.

Deep inside
my heart cries,
out of mouth,
insidious lies

Crimes of lust,
feeling no passion.
Sense of mind,
soon will be crashing

Took it's toll,
pay no mind.
Alone with another,
sight is blind

No conscience, no guilt,
laying in bare
Wait am I thinking?
I really don't care

It's only a game,
but I can not win.
I am a cheater.
Living in sin.

Looking at the world
through acidic eyes.
Thunderstorm kisses,
pouring through dark skies.

Bands of rage and temper,
feelings all caged in.
Powder keg explosives,
blowing up again.

Black and blue circles,
hid under the cloth.
Red drips from my nose,
broken at all cost

Ripped down at the seams,
by every human thread.
Abandoned and afraid,
wishing I was dead.

I hear the silence
ringing my ear.
It's eerily piercing
no one can hear.

Blocking the sound,
getting much closer.
Dripping in sweat,
terror no venture.

Shackled with chains,
bound to cold steel.
Can't break away,
madness come feel.

Padded inside,
ceiling all white,
Ninety four tiles,
count every night.

Shadows walk by,
steps by the dozen.
Sitting in darkness,
silence and frozen.

The lights go on.
the lights go off.
Sanity is gone.
NOW GO *******!!

I stared in the mirror, looked at my own sad reflection and
wondered,

When did I abandoned my own self?
When did I lose my grip of my mental being?
Why did I hide under the covers to get away from the monsters?

I have never looked in the closet because I was afraid of what I might find.
My fears of the unknown have always taken me for a ride. A ride, I still can not get off of.
I have tried to lock the demons away in my mind, into the abyss. They always seem to break out of their prison and crucify my soul, when I am the least capable of fighting back.

My whole life has been in total blackness inside the belly of the beast. Only when I close my eyes, do I see a small glimmer of light or hope.

Then I wake up and realize the mirror that I have been staring into the whole time was broken and shattered.

DID I BREAK IT?

You greeted me with your smile.
You greeted me with your kindness.

I started to really fall for you.

You blinded me with your love.
You blinded me with your care.

I started to really love you.

You pushed me on the bed.
You pushed me against the wall.

I started to really resent you.

You broke my arm once.
You broke my heart many times.

I started to really hurt inside.

You cut me with your words.
You cut me with your fist.

I don't want to bleed no more.

A wretched demon invaded my soul,
wanted his **** and feeling quite bold
Flying above and stalking his prey,
darkening the skies with his wings of grey

Beckoning calls and thunderstorms roars,
getting much closer,  looking for more.
His site is unholy, that unwieldy beast,
A fire breathing dragon ready to feast.

My sword at the ready with shield in hand,
Hell was coming fast, not by a chance.
He came for blood, but missed a mile.
Next time around, I just looked and smiled.

Two mores passes by feet did he miss
my sword struck him swiftly with
fifteen hits
He crashed in the trees, feeling beset
The dragon went down with my sword in his chest.

I respected the beast for his hard valiant fight.
Standing up tall, I felt like a knight.
His attack was for not, I do not know why.
He wanted his **** but he is the one that died