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tia 2d
The pastel sky strikes forward, no longer soft-spoken
And the birds sing enchanting melodies
That almost lull me back to sleep
But with all the strength in this heart of mine
My body arises and dances with the peeking sunlight
For today is a lovely day for the peonies to bloom
Pink fluttering petals, blushing at my touch
I know they love me, they really do
I leave my home, whose color has gone and died
Eaten up by the tragedy of time
Today my sorrows shall dissolve
Tears mixed with tea
And quenches my thirst of loneliness
The peonies bloom and decorate the grave
And even if my heart pulls at me, I will not cry
I shall celebrate all that is of death and life
For no one, not a single person on earth
Can stop the peonies from blooming, oh so beautifully.
Dec 2020 · 64
friendships always end
tia Dec 2020
i love you, i love you not
i pull on the petals till our friendship rots
friendships never seem to last
every good memory lives in the past
and dies in the hopes of my hand
you move forward, but here i stand
the only person who stays is me
till death do I part, I will one day be free
Dec 2020 · 69
art and writing
tia Dec 2020
her loneliness surpassed the vast empty field
and on her journey, the truth began to reveal
no lavender, no roses, nothing lovely of the sort
she would be lonely, forevermore
she wished to cry and drown the lands
and so the gods compromised with her demands
they had left her papers and pens
in which she could draw and write, again and again
if only the flower in which she dreamed of, in which she drew
could blossom as beautifully as real ones do
and amongst her stories and the movement of the pen
she wished she could write a story and paint a scene
of which she had a happy end
i've never been the best artist or writer but i still enjoy it. to me it's always felt like an attempt to escape loneliness
Oct 2020 · 534
snowfall tears
tia Oct 2020
I wanna disappear as if I were
snowfall touching skin
gracefully falling
pushed by the winds

I wanna love as if I were
snowfall with such gentle beauty
I would be cherished
but no one would know me

I wonder if they are tears
from a woman grieving
quietly up top the clouds
I pity her, I do, but I care not for her feelings
i might abandon this account
Oct 2020 · 298
star sparkled feelings
tia Oct 2020
emotions are good little things
pretty like stars in the skies
coloring the dark void
and giving meaning to our life
Oct 2020 · 140
crying child
tia Oct 2020
I saw my former self through a teary vision
As she collapsed against the rough alley floor
knees scraped, burning and bleeding with pain
Why didn’t they pick her up and care for her?
Always telling her to stop crying.
As if she wasn't a child, aching to be loved.
your love to me has always been ***** and unwanted. a part of me hates you, a part of me doesn't.
tia Oct 2020
memories seem fragile and yet one has no control
it's a confusing network of strings
intertwining with one another
I wish I had a pair of scissors
golden and beautiful, able to cut the strings
which have clung to my heart for all of eternity
Oct 2020 · 159
section 04
tia Oct 2020
I wanted to carry your burdens with me
and show you the joy of this world
that you no longer believed in.
how could I forget your sweet words?
and oh my heart ached
the silence filled with dread
"oh god, please don't be dead."
this poem hurts me a lot. I really did care for him and I was truly scared that he had died because he did attempt but now it hurts for a different reason
Oct 2020 · 157
section 03
tia Oct 2020
"maybe this is bound to end in tragedy
but for now
I will give you a hug, a smile,
and a place in my heart"
the rest of the poem this is from isn't the best but I still enjoy the emotion it conveyed and these lines especially I loved
Oct 2020 · 290
tired; worthless
tia Oct 2020
"my body is tired with torn hands
I want to be perfect, more and more
but nothing changes, it only ever hurts"

"when will you be happy?"

"never... I live miserably,
wanting to work myself to exhaustion
waiting for death's release of this worthless vessel
that hates me deeply
perishing underneath dirt and pebble
no one will want me, need me
I will be forgotten and my ideals of perfection soon to be rotten"
tia Sep 2020
You took my hand into your small
Gentle fingers, yet to be tainted by years
Guiding me with rainbows and tireless curiosity in your eyes
Flowers bloomed beneath your feet
And as I followed you, I trampled them
My heart warmed at your sight
Weaving a young and delicate desire into me
And I couldn’t let go of your hand
When you turned your back
An obsession grew, violently
Your kind don’t last in my world
And I’m happy to devour the innocence
I will crush you with wounded hands that you bandaged
I’ll smile like how you taught me to
I’m simply overfilled with joy
As you smell the scent of the lilies you had given me
Your innocence turns to death
my friend said he liked it, i feel happy :)
Sep 2020 · 337
"romance" 02
tia Sep 2020
my heart does not beat
and I only dream of what it'd be
like to touch you and be warmed up
simply because of human desires

your hands can be replaced by anyone
you wander my daydreams
but never my slumber
you enter my thoughts
you leave just as easily
rewritten poem from a long time ago
Sep 2020 · 163
section 02
tia Sep 2020
"nothing can be done
especially not now
she is all that fills your mind
and it is time
that I leave you

what a silly family we were...
she has prolonged your existence
but I cannot smile
it is only a reminder
that your death is very possible"
looking back on these with him back, feels odd. i still feel all the emotions I felt when I wrote these.
Sep 2020 · 314
"romance" 01
tia Sep 2020
i've dreamt enough romance
to know that I want it
and I've lived enough days
to know I can't feel it
short thing before I sleep
Sep 2020 · 328
sorry, always sorry
tia Sep 2020
"sorry, always sorry. what are you sorry for?"

within my grasp
even outside of it
if I didn't say sorry
I would fall apart
like a flower
when pulled all the wrong ways"
Sep 2020 · 147
poem for you
tia Sep 2020
I'd write a poem for you, lovely, so lovely....
and you'd never know that I wrote it
all these feelings
they breathe
so wonderfully blossoming
and they die
having never left my side
It's not about romantic love although it definitely can be seen that way.
Sep 2020 · 59
tia Sep 2020
if I write
could I ever turn the scribbled thoughts
the pitiful teardrops
and stress that festers
into something beautiful
lovable, almost.
tia Sep 2020
it's delightful
the harsh autumn movement
and the angelic snowfall
with wings so beautiful
though my body grows numb
I still open my heart warmly
to these cold seasons

I think of him fondly
even though he was wrong
I cried for him, cared for him
and he hardly thought of me at all
I was always holding on to something
that was never
really there
Sep 2020 · 107
we aren't friends
tia Sep 2020
maybe I'm cruel
but I deem you selfish
In this obscure, unsure connection
we call friendship
Sep 2020 · 86
section 01
tia Sep 2020
"I cannot
carry your burdens with me
not even in the slightest

I am empty, I am numb, I do not understand
you in
and love."
I wrote this super long poem in a storm of emotions some time ago and I just like how the end lines sounded so I decided to post it.
Sep 2020 · 352
happy little angel
tia Sep 2020
I'm a happy little angel
sentimental and soft
as I dance through the clouds
I think of you sweetly

I'm a happy little angel
saying "I love you" in between sweet smiles
as you wipe your tears away
I will guide you, my dear
challenging myself to write happier poems ^-^
Sep 2020 · 329
holding hands
tia Sep 2020
my fingertips are cold, with slowed movement
and there is a grace to them, dancing in such a sorrowful way
I'd almost think they were longing for someone
to hold them, locking each other, and brushing against

and yet, my mind grows uneasy at that idea of warmth
I draw my frigid hands away, escaping the touch
how unbearable it would be, in all reality
they remain as they are, how i'd prefer, lonely.
take this poem however you want to, for me it is an expression of myself
Sep 2020 · 445
tia Sep 2020
night settles, resting alongside me, hoping to keep me company
but their touches phases through, alone I am, alone I'll stay
its night time, school's starting, and i should sleep
Sep 2020 · 95
quiet, stay quiet
tia Sep 2020
one, two three
don't forget to breathe
count to ten
slowly, slowly, before you can speak

that foul mouth
is better off dead
if you don't heed the warnings
you will carry the burden for all the words you've said

your heart needs to be silenced
crush it up, with hands of violence
Aug 2020 · 152
love him not
tia Aug 2020
petal after petal, I need not decide
I love him not, I love him not
once all the petals are gone
I move on and find another flower
Aug 2020 · 252
tia Aug 2020
the space in this skull is claustrophobic
the words of this mouth are clumsy in movement
with every willingness for a silence of a thousand centuries
my brain is growing exhausted of me
Aug 2020 · 112
no longer do we speak
tia Aug 2020
I prefer to detach
rather than the agonizing
feeling of not being needed

with that sentiment,
tia Aug 2020
I sat in silence
anxiously deciding
certainly overreacting
a sudden desire to change
flooded my heart with courage

their voices startled me
my mind failed to be calm
with each beat after beat coming so quickly
but soon their laughter filled me with ease
and I could find myself finally at peace
I was really scared at first of something so small but my friend was chill and I don't regret doing it at all. I'm still a little anxious but I'll get used to it eventually!
Aug 2020 · 243
ocean of affection
tia Aug 2020
she pushes and pulls like the waves
ultimately I cannot bear to be near it
and have disgust cover me cold
they see beauty, placing charm in her mystery
and I only see the madness
of an ocean that will surely drown me
Aug 2020 · 386
i can't tell you
tia Aug 2020
fear oh fear
with hands so strong
come, won't you?
oh dear, just tear me

what a burden
are my words
i laugh, i laugh!
it won't stop..
**** it hurts
Jul 2020 · 79
insignificant human being
tia Jul 2020
this feeling
it never leaves
I feel lonely
and unneeded
you all smile
with warm words
but I can only stand cold
and pathetic
tia Jul 2020
overcrowd my brain with blossoms
until it bursts out of my head
whose petals tear apart my skin
covered in red
now I can breathe at ease
with my thoughts finally dead
there is no more room for thoughts
just flowers
tia Jul 2020
I climb this hell in the pursuit of perfection
Yet nothing is sufficient to please my lack of self-satisfaction
All senses, all pleasures, my every motivation
Washes away as I push myself further into isolation
i keep feeling empty, worthless, i don't feel like trying
i've just been wanting to cut off people recently
Jul 2020 · 155
thank you for everything
tia Jul 2020
even as I run away
you tell me such kind words

and when I look back
you have said so many kind things
that I cannot forget, that I cannot stop caring

I find it impossible to speak to you
because I know that I can't change anything
I keep wondering if today you'll be alive

why can you say everything right to make me feel better,
but I can't say anything at all to help you
how cruel is this friendship we've entangled ourselves into?
Jul 2020 · 8
im sorry
tia Jul 2020
at first my heart was kind
gently listening and staying by your side
now my heart is distant
and our conversations have become cold

you compare our sorrows
even though my feelings are valid
you make me not want to rely on you
even though i never told you anything

i dont want to admit your right
i still dont want you to die
but i cannot carry your burdens
and dont think we can be friends
edit: this friendship went downhill.
i still hope he's okay.
i miss you wolf...
Jul 2020 · 436
flower in the winter
tia Jul 2020
in the palm of her ruined hands
was a single seed

if she grew one flower
spring would be in her sights

but winter pulled her down
together they were miserable

she could not bring change about
and so spring never came around
Jun 2020 · 135
love as i see it
tia Jun 2020
he wonders
is there room left in my heart?

I laugh,
I wish there had been room at all.

and I can only hope it is a flower
waiting for the right person to bloom
and have pink petals be showered
Jun 2020 · 193
tia Jun 2020
four white chrysanthemums
persistently thwarting outcomes
my touch holds the fragile petals
giving room for death to settle
made this a long time ago
Jun 2020 · 283
our love was red
tia Jun 2020
our beating hearts
were bound to die
with blood so full of ***** lies

and the flags are only seen
when the tears have cleared
and hate finally appears
i dont like this poem
Jun 2020 · 197
purple hyacinth
tia Jun 2020
He is dear to me
a flower I found in the middle of
this rather desolate field

He is a hyacinth
a purple magnificence
He has somehow managed to thrive
in the midst of poison and parasites

His leaves fade with every tomorrow
dull from the sorrow
the petals dragged down
weeping a saddened sound

He is pushing to survive
and I will give him the love
though others may have deprived him of

He and I will make a garden
full of sweet flowers shooting from the ground
until the day he is no longer around
For another friend of mine. He's been a great person and really helping me through everything. I will enjoy his company and be the best friend I can.
he always saw himself as a hyacinth so i wrote it for him
he's really a strong person
Jun 2020 · 31
bunny and fox
tia Jun 2020
a bunny in a cottage
tidy and small
it's rather lovely
lasting through
summer, rains, and snowfall

a fox wandering the world
bright copper fur
and mischievous eyes
who cannot find joy
even in the light
i am the mischievous loud fox and she is a soft timid bunny, but at the end of the day, we both want to be kind-hearted and care lots for people around us.
Jun 2020 · 378
cute things
tia Jun 2020
I fill my world with all sorts of cute things
with so many shades of pink
I want to forget about my sorrows
and have my heart soften
at the sight of something rather gentle

I fill my world with all sorts of kind things
with so many types of love
I want to set my heart free
and have my mind be at peace
in a garden of pink flowers and graceful doves
i loveee cute things :)
just decided to write some happy poems y'know
tia Jun 2020
let us adore this universe of ours
as we wish upon
a shooting stargazer lily
who collides with our world
bringing about blossoms
and pink springs
for days to come

let us hop between the planets
mark the moon as our own
catch the stars in our hands
explore the unknown!

let us create memories
and overfill our senses with joy
blast off our worries
into the void of space
and lie here in fields
full of pink and white orchids

this universe of ours
is so sweet
lets have fun
until the day we're gone
Jun 2020 · 173
you will die someday
tia Jun 2020
my hands are bloodied with your thoughts,
the flower withered away
everything is gone
and my mouth is dry, empty of words to say

when you die
your burdens leave that tormented soul of yours
and wanders into my heart, making holes in every thought
each bit of love that once pumped has grown sickened
I wish I could tear myself apart, to build everyone up
my empty efforts have never been enough
my friends will die
and i dont know
if ill be okay
eating away at your mind
eating away at your body
I wish
I could do something
and I think its now eating at me too
tia Jun 2020
the flower in the vase,
you gave it beams of innocence
and poured drops of affection.
but when all is done, when all is said
you did not stop the flower from its death

and you'll never understand
the way it that it wilts
the way it wants to stay there...
inspired by a quote "the flower in the vase smiles but no longer laughs"

also based on my personal experiences

its not that good I just felt bad
and I needed to stop thinking about something
Jun 2020 · 298
your sun
tia Jun 2020
in your solar system
I am at the center
you weigh down the universe
with your unsolvable planetary problems
destructive asteroids
and uninhabitable mindsets

you let my rays envelop you
but heed my touch
and it becomes night
when my compassion is too much

in your solar system
I am dying out
you limit me of hydrogen
and empty my reserves of love
until I am unstable enough
to take you out
i suppose its about a toxic relationship where the victim becomes filled with hate.
May 2020 · 154
angel's bliss
tia May 2020
ignorance, a blissful heaven above the deepest pits of hells
an angel's wings and her kind nature
regardless of her wishes and prayers
a fatal deception awaits her

what is that of which compels?
her to open her eyes and stare at her own demise
her gray wings in the stormed sky
no matter who poisons, it is herself that she will despise

and her heart swells
did it matter for the innocence in her words?
she could not fix anything even with such concerns
rip away her mouth, give in to their ideal, she concurs!

fatigue, chest pain, shortness of breath
broken wings, bloodied body
she opens her heart for the man named death
i wanted to be good
to save them

but ignorance is nice
it's nice to pretend they arent hurting

i can't help them
May 2020 · 304
you, me, and the world
tia May 2020
Rapid warming bursts open his polluted lungs
Flies and maggots spill while wilted flowers have sprung
Sickly eyes and perverted form
Chaos and death revel in the man-made storm

Tears pull at the corners of my mouth
With his misery, we can both drown
He wants the sinners of this world to burn
This is a lesson I've yet to learn

Mourning with blue irises in my hand
A cold silent distance between where he and I stand
If I move an inch closer, I will have to overcome my fear
That it is of little matter that I care

My throat grows tight, dry of words to say
I watch our friendship slowly decay
Secretly I make a wish, my selfishness arising
To say I wanted to meet him, well, I'd be lying
im your friend.
but it isn't good enough.
May 2020 · 157
tia May 2020
The small cut sits there
pulling at my pain
The tears fall
pulling at my heartstrings
and there is so much more to suffer
as I pull at the symptoms,
the useless situation, I am helpless, help me, but help cannot fix
what my body has come to be
I should have gone to the doctors the moment I realized something was wrong, but there is nothing I can do now but look helplessly at myself.
Apr 2020 · 199
sunset sorrows
tia Apr 2020
multiple weighty peach trees
outlined grief's path
lanceolate, broad, and pinnately veined
leaves cornered my view
of the clashing realities between faint rays
and the celestial dome

my sweet cries and pleads set into the sky
the atmospheric refraction
distorts all that is left of her being
an astronomical twilight will pass
and the dusk will swallow her wavelength

wandering into a new medium
surpassing the earth
and as the sweet color of peaches decomposes
becoming simple matter over time
her sun has set and mine will follow shortly
i dislike the ending line

i've never experienced death, but it certainly feels like your world is ending. i wanted to convey death in a different way and I like sunsets and peaches
so here we have this poem
I do rather like it, but it's not perfect :)
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