I* watch him while he tells a story. And how he gets excited

when he's about to get to the good part, and I just sit there and

listen to him. As if he were the only person in the room. To me,

that's happiness.


-*Sandoval

I looked up to him, as he stood there,
right in front of me.

I felt the stars burning inside
my clenched hands.

I wanted to touch him,
with this hopeless light running

through my long thin fingers.
The moon was imprinted
in his eyes,

and I could count
every constellation of his freckled countenance.
But, I could not yield.

He was a black hole, and I was the sun.
One step closer,
and he'd take my whole life.

What do you do with a love like that?
If not love from afar.


*Sandoval

I loved him.
And I love this brokenness he left in me.

The freckles on my chest,
that carry his name.

The loneliness in my eyes,
that wonder where he sleeps at night.

I carry his pain,
and I sleep with it in the dark,
when the sun is still out.

It's better than feeling numb.
This hurt, tells me he's still alive inside of me.

He's the reason my dead heart,
still tries to beat for life.


*Sandoval

Kiss* me,
where I am broken the most.


Lust for me,
when I look in the mirror,
and I am no longer beautiful.


And baby, love me;
when the sun turns black, and these
bones no longer feel like
home.


*Sandoval

He’s lived within me
he’s been locked inside
the sporadic freckles
of my skin all along.
Please don’t
beg me to look at you;
for you have always
been the reassuring wind
that’s surrounded me;
but he, he is the eternal
night sky.
And could you not tell my love?
how the dimming
constellations in these
eyes of mine will always
mourn their home..

Sandoval

That empty feeling inside of me,

when everything reminds me of him.

I cry and I sigh, but the pain just wont subside.
How do you hide from whats inside?

When its your soul who cant breathe,

and hes everything you need.


*Sandoval

I'm as sad as they come.

As lonely as they get, and,

weird as they can be.

You decide if you stay or leave.


*Sandoval

She lays her head
on a daydream.

Ink rhymes, sad cries.
Fallen stars, swollen eyes.

he's gone
and so am I.

*Sandoval

And if you
silence me,
let it be from
your eyes
intertwining
into mine
like two
constellations
traveling through
time.


Sandoval

It was like James Dean.  The only thing I've ever seen. That's made me feel as close to the moon, closer than the stars have ever been.
*-Sandoval

A rose only grows

by getting watered,

and being

acknowledged

by light. Same goes

with love.

*Sandoval

I left beauty marks
on his soul.

I shattered him,
to light.

And in return, he gave me
memories and darkness
to fight..


*Sandoval

In the
distant stars.

The light
of your eyes,

fought
on..

*Sandoval

I loved  you. In the same way I loved  literature, now the

inspiration is gone and so are you. Whats left of me, a beating

pen with no sonnets no sounds, no syllables but the mere

memory of a daydream.


*Sandoval

Appreciate* the loneliness in me.

One day it wont beg for you no more.


*Sandoval

I think the worst part of losing you, is never seeing you again.  For

us, there will never be any random unpredictable encounters.  

And the thought of not seeing you again,  even if its just far away,

lingers in my mind like an old book, waiting to be read.

We will never get a second chance, we are so far away, I guess

thats what you give up when you fall in love a thousand

miles away.

*Sandoval

But you're just a screen again.

A daydream in mid Novembers falling leaves.

That euphoria of seeing you again, wont leave

my skin; and it breaks my bones with words,

poetry, only you can get out of me.

*Sandoval

I feel myself forgotten, like a lost voyage with no destination.


*Sandoval

Our love was
a playground;
he played me
however he
wanted, and
my heart with
scrapped knees
would fall for
him every time.

Sandoval

I was an infant soul.

He came to me in my dreams
as a lullaby only I could sing.

And he watched as I swiftly
rocked myself into a romance

only him and I could sway to.


Sandoval

Your lying hazel eyes, such a hellish paradise.


And, I see my reflection in them, I can hear it scream.


It wants to be set free, but I just cant leave.


*Sandoval

Poor girl,

sometimes you love so
much, so fiercley,

and so madly, that
you forget

not everyone is half as
mental as you..



*Sandoval

She was the

type of girl

who breathed in stars, and

spit out

constellations.


*Sandoval

But it was my fault
thinking we could build statues out of dust
we dissolved with the wind
and when autumn came
we became ruins inhabited by
the memories of May.


Sandoval

Without me, he is nothing,


and without him, I am just a memory.

*Sandoval

You can mend a

broken heart,

but never with the same

string twice.


*Sandoval

Dead* sea,

burnt memories.

This lonely mermaid,

has no more stories.

*Sandoval

I've seen you

dancing, to rhythm

of the moon.

I wonder, if I were up there,

would you have loved me too..


*Sandoval

Do not tell me,

that the moon
is yours to own.

Then run away when
the sun leaves the

earth.


*Sandoval

If you're not the
sun,
why does your touch
burn
the way it does?
And tell me,
if your eyes are not the
moon,
why do they shine
the same shade
blue?


*Sandoval

Without your voice,

calling my name. My

silent muse, I am

deaf to it all ..


*Sandoval

I tore down every bridge,
and every wall to let you in.

I dried lakes, rivers, oceans,
to save you from drowning.

I found myself,
draining in weakness to strengthen you.

You became powerful, you became immortal,
you became my god.

Now I clench onto this sadness of mine.
The loneliness you left behind.

Its the only thing that reminds me,
our story was once alive.

Its my safe place.
When you're gone,

and I need a muse to help
bleed all this pain out.

Like tonight,
when writing about the moon,
can no longer help me survive.


*Sandoval

I really don't know what to tell you.
I try to be the best human I can be,  I
sometimes care too much, I care a lot
about many things;

and it makes me depressed..
I've been depressed ever
since I can remember,
and i'm just really sad most of the time..
and not being happy, is the most awful
thing I could do to myself..

So before I can love you,
I must first love the grey pieces of my
old, echoing soul.. and if you wait,
wait for the sun to replace the moon.

I will gift to you, the buried light inside
my dusted, shivering bones..


*Sandoval

My heart is anxious. I have lived a million lives and loved a million

different ways.  

*-Sandoval

You compared us,

to Paul Newman
and
Joanne Woodward.

But baby, you ran.
He stayed.

Tell me again,
how we're still the same..

*Sandoval

Her lips kissing your neck, her hands caressing  your hair,

could not wake me from my slumber.

But your eyes looking into hers, the way you looked

into mine. Well that, I could not bare.  And so,

I woke from my nightmare. Only to realize,

that you were not there.


*Sandoval

Your indifference is crushing in on me.

I've been broken before, but nothing ever

hurt quite like this.

*Sandoval

I feel the shadow of your obscurity,

and though nothing is yet lost, I

drown myself in the unknowingness

of your already sunken  eyes.


*-Sandoval

Isn't it cruel?
How destiny
teases our future.
Having had
tall wooden ships,
we settled for

paper boats.

Sandoval

Ill be my own
poet.
I need no other
words
that are not my
own,
telling me of all
the greatness
inside my star
gasping
soul.


*Sandoval

They tried to break me, but this

blood that runs in me, is made of ink.

And these unbreakable bones, are made of poetry.


*Sandoval

With Neruda, I fell in love with you.

It was so beautiful, I felt I had to close my eyes wide shut,

just to remember this was not a dream.

Then Hemingway came along, by then I was feeling a little lost in your eyes. Some days were good, some days were bad. Yet, I still held on.

But when I suddenly found myself with Bukowski on my nightstand.

Well, I knew then, baby, we were ******. He brought me back to reality, and I understood at that moment, that we were finally done.


*Sandoval

I* saw my reflection in the glass that I lifted to my face. It was the

reflection of a drunken disappointment,  and this red wine tasted

like  loneliness and sad  poetry. I don't know what you did to

me, but

Hemingway,  Neruda and Fitzgerald all went down in history,

and I'm starting to understand why. Unrequited love. One  more sip

and the next drunken  poet is me.


*-Sandoval

But, your soul is tainted by the ink of my pen. Long ago, when I held your chin with my pigmented hands for the first time, your soul penetrated deep into mine. I know this love is forever for a poets love never dies.
*-Sandoval

I listen to the sound
of the waves.

Looking for a clue,
an echo of your silence.

And I patiently
wait for you.

Like Amphitrite
waited for Poseidon.

*Sandoval

My universe hung from the tip of his fingers.

As he played my constellations to rhythm
of his own selfish desires.

He created the moon to tame me,
and the stars to make me believe in his magic.

But he forgot one thing, his sun gave me fire,

and his strings gave me strength. My galaxies at last,
had no lengths.


*Sandoval

You* and I were like the sea,


both sad and reckless all at once.


*Sandoval

You* said you would love me,

until the end of your days.

Well I believe you died not long after that,
and resurrected from stones.

You no longer love me,

and your memory aches in these bones.


*Sandoval