I press my lips to you every moment I can
The briefest of love affairs you burn so bright
And then you are gone
Before I can even catch my breath.

I'm just a blank sheet of paper that's been ******* up so much
it can never be what it used to be

Just thought I'd remind you
Because it's been so long since I've felt
Like a real person
And I'd hate so much for you
To go unnoticed too

Dear Heart,
I'm feeling so lost tonight
I'm stuck in a limbo
I'm no where near dead and I'm not quite alive.
Oh Heart, you were right, it's not your fault
I am my own cycle of depression and anxiety.
Forgive me Heart
As I end it all tonight
I will no longer force you to go on.
Just one more fight as I stop breathing
And I cut myself off from you
Just one more fight until you are drained and give in
Then I will be set
free
.

Where to go when home is empty and your lover's arms are crossed?
The edge of a bridge of course
A spider
She is huge and leggy
I jump
But I stay seated, feet dangling
She is spinning her web I mustn't disturb her for this is her place
This is her hour
This is not mine

I decide to live

You
make it easy
Cos you love me
x

It took a long time to get us here
So many heartbreaks
So many tears
It took forever but now its clear
Don't **** yourself now
We've made it my dear

Sweet treat
Steel cap boots
Suspenders can't be beat
Shaved head
Swinging hips
*Strutting down the street

She was Precocious
This girl knew what she was doing
She was smart enough
to act stupid
She was brave enough
to act afraid
And she was strong enough
to act weak.
She was wise enough to choose carefully
She was so particular about everything
She hit puberty sooner than every other girl in primary school
And her body
was doing her head in.
Her hormones kicked in too young
Her cravings were there before her peers gave up on believing in "cooties"
She had strong beliefs
An open mind
And a pulse in her ***** by the age of 9.
Some say Precocious
Others say she was "too intelligent for her own good."
She knew too much
She was emotional
and deeply understanding.
She had herself figured out and could hold an adult conversation
by the age of 11.
She was molested at 12 and ***** at 13.
This girl was a broken girl.
To "fix" this tear she sought someone she trusted to give her virginity to the night of her undoing
Years on she doesn't regret it.
But she does regret letting that so called best friend pin her down and ******.
But she chose who she gave her virginity to
It was the bravest thing she could have ever done and she knows it.
This girl is 17
She got lost in bad relationships and didn't know where her heart was anymore
Now she understands love and its comfort
and how it is the easiest thing to maintain and enjoy
and how it doesn't get in the way but instead is that warm thing she can come home to every night.

So yes, I grew up fast

And if you think I am foolish, moody, stupid,
absent minded and just like everyone else my age
Be my guest
Because I'm only enjoying being myself
And I can grow a pair and grow up
in less than a
second.

I am **Precocious

It's going to be a while
Before I can look in the mirror again
After being with you so long I haven't needed to
I have forgotten what I look like.
See, I don't need a mirror to feel pretty
Or new lingerie to feel ****
A new necklace wont bring glamour to my face
No
For I see myself through your gaze
And I have never
looked this
good
.

You can't just roll over in the night
and say
Everything's fine
...
You have to be able to turn on the light
and look them
In the eye

I've never understood the importance of lungs
Until they failed me yet again
Hooked up to a mask and tube
Hands going numb
You watched me shake and go ashen
All I could think about was my heart
As much as the needles frighten me
I was not prepared to fall apart
Even though everything kinda *****
And my body is my worst enemy
Having you there kept me breathing
Exhausted, suffocated and out of luck
I stayed upright and breathed deeply
For you are my strongest love

He washed over me like
the warmest wave
Every time he rose to meet me
His skin would lap at my shores
The salty sweet kiss
The ever unfurling lips
An ocean of ecstasy
And waning tide of
release

It's one thing to break someones heart
It's another to sever their leg and beat them with it

The only real tragedy would be certain and irrevocable immortality

Sweet little cuts across her bust babe
No one does it quite like you
Delicate blood drops down your back seat
No one does it better that's true
Give it to her softly tell me that you love me
I love to watch you when you do
Pass me that knife babe I'll do it the right way
Killing is fun for two

A gal's gotta have her brothers
She may not think she does
She's a tough nut to crack
But she does care about them
And she needs them
After all
They make great punching bags

Like the cross on the withering
donkey
She stabbed me in the back until I
could no longer stand
Calling me "beast" like she knew me
Yet still I carried on
As my hooves grew worn like her
beckoning sighs
It became clear she was a book
Full of lies
I treated her like a religion
Buckling hocks at her every command
That woman was almost domineering
A dictatorship on her behalf
Yet still I can't help but feel like
a total ***
Even though she is gone
I'm still her beast
of burden

I still can't believe it's you
I'm holding every night
x

It's a quiet kind of storm
Rolling with your eyes

Anti-depressants are like prescribing a cure for a *******

It is kinder
to pierce my flesh with needles
Than it is to call me a freak
But either way
your words won't upset me
For it is you that is
**weak

.................................................................­..............................................................
­I'm not with it tonight
I can feel the electricity
Sparking hairs on my wrists
Knowing it's gonna get lonely
On a high for days; it doesn't matter to you
That there will be a fall, a major drop, that will consume
It's one thing to give a ****
It's another to respect
That maybe there's more to the feelings of the one you love
Than one might ever expect.
.........................................................­.................................................................­.....

You've ****** the life out of me
Everything that made me feel good about myself
You now use against me
I helped you I supported you I made sure you could stand
Now it's like you don't want what's left of me
When all you needed
was my hand

Shallow breathing and bad circulation
Asthma and Bipolar disorder type 2
Clingy and dependent at the same time distant
Anxiety and a whole lot of love for **you

Of all the people you could curl up to at night
You chose me

When your phone crashes hellopoetry
And everything you wrote is gone

My name is my reason and reason is my aim
To make friends with my demons
and keep them all at bay
I write and I write for it is all I can do
I write what I want I don't aim to please *you

I give you flowers and tears
You give me sarcasm
I wish you would show a little more sympathy
You'd rather I get a backbone
I whisper unspoken love on your shoulder
You say it with a mothering tone
I have a panic attack whenever something doesn't fit
You dismiss it all with an iron fist
I dream of a place full of love and passion
You're just thankful you even exist
Money, ***, miscommunication and occasional road trips
It's not necessarily a bad thing just
Our own sort of a
**Dysfunctional relationship