As I sit here in the dark,
It’s so silent…
But, at the same time, it really isn’t.
What exactly is silence when there is always n o i s e?
Of our minds
Verbally, mentally, and silently vocalizing the numerous, duplicitous details of our waking lives.
The mind never stops. Never shuts up.
And as much as I’d like it to, I can’t make it
As long as the body goes,
the mind reveals,
it revels, in the subconscious awareness of our obliviousness.
Is anything a surprise...
Or, do we always know?
But then again, what exactly is “knowing”?
When with one word, one action, one choice…
It can all be so different.
New. Changed. Non-existent.
And once again, we are left in the Unknown…(1 step forward – 2 steps backwards).
All the while, wandering ….wondering
Constantly searching for answers…
Seeking relief from the never ending “what ifs”,
the heart-piercing, perpetual mental lists of “I should haves…”
There was a time when I questioned it all….
Repeatedly. Tortuously…to no avail it seemed
Until I somehow managed to create a world….
Founded on doubt, confusion, unfamiliarity, and F E A R.
It all began in my head. Simple enough..
That’s where it all begins, right?
This world throws all types of things at us to distract us…
To deceive us, to desensitize and dehumanize us.
To slowly, but surely, annihilate any bit of the God-given life that was once inside of us…
the original covenant of everlasting life, knowledge, and the desires of our heart.
It’s whatever is your particular fancy of ammunition…
You see, that’s the thing…
They let us choose.
….So we think..
Some call it Free Will, some call it Destiny…
or some simply call it, “Living Life”
They tell us we NEED this and we need to look like THAT.
So there we go, on a blind, circuitous pursuit to become something that never existed…
Til we are so completely absorbed in this twisted, delusional mirage of Life
… til it’s as if we, ourselves, never existed.
And the crazy thing is… some people never WAKE UP.
Yes, I said wake up.
As in realize that NONE of this is real.
Yet, it is merely the fictitious illustrations of the repetitious reels of our corrupted minds….
Our perverse and evil hearts.
which are both constantly evolving…steadily revolving.
Tainted by the high and forever-rising demands of this world…
and even family…
Little do we know, we are everyday loading the gun of “self-hatred”
….Filling it with little shiny bullets disguised as likes…views...followers.
Lighting the match and igniting the deadly and all consuming flames of “pride, bigotry, and greed”
Mine, mine, mine….
Destroying anything, or anybody, that tries to extinguish and destroy…
Holding, polishing, and aiming the two-edged knife of “insecurity, disloyalty, and ulterior motives.
Piercing the side of those we love.
When will this battle end?
When will the power of love, overcome the love of power?
They say that then we will know peace…
But to have peace, we have to have calamity…agitation…war.
Oh, the beauty of contradictions…
So far apart on the spectrum of life
Yet so strikingly similar.
Ying and Yang.
It’s a matter of life and death…
The absence of one creates the presence of the other.
and, the presence of the other, exemplifies the absence of the one.
And we know this…
Yet, we still choose to be destructive.
Why is it so much easier, seemingly, to do wrong than right?
Will the world ever know…?
So, with this paradoxical world we live in, how do we find stability?
Some find solace in drugs…
Some in love…
However, some find religion.
No scratch that – A RELATIONSHIP
…with a higher power …
One who is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.
One who can guide our footsteps,
Eliminate all of the outside deceiving thoughts of “what if…” and “why’s”
“trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…”
That’s what the Word says, right?
…one who can give us stability of our mind and the desires of our heart.
Jeremiah 33:3 says, “call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and mighty things you do not know”
Sounds too good to be true, huh?
But so does, relief and recovery sold to you in a pill bottle from an institution set up to control…
The populations and masses…
The circulation of currency.
The separation of powers.
So, at the end of the day….it’s up to you whether or not you continue sleeping..
Continue living this deceptive life created and composed by Those People..
Or you can choose to believe…
To have faith in something, someone….
Whatever it may be…
But, the choice is on you.
…or is it?