I’ve begun to realize
that great minds
don’t need a thousand words
to change a life
Often
ten
within a poem
can light up
the entire world

You know,
I wish you truly understood
I chose you to save me.
I married you.

Come on,
be my Prince Charming,
be the hero who pulls me out of this hole.

But the more I look at your life,
the more I see you moving forward
and me falling behind.

This isn’t how I pictured it.
I thought you’d be by my side.

A sigh
I am overtaken by the feeling of eternity
the certainty that no time can hold me back
no pressure can rush me
no obstacle can delay me
I am the beginning, the middle, and the end
whole

I think I need to wash my soul
All the water I drink every day
makes no difference
I’m not sure if I’m writing poetry or music
I guess it doesn’t matter
Right now I just need to let it out
I read the other day that it takes maturity to be happy
So please
don’t give me happiness
give me maturity
Because I don’t know how to be happy
I’m still a child
I need to grow

I’m addicted to poetry
I want to play all day
I never knew the best toy
was the one I didn’t have to buy

When I was a child
I would watch from my window
as the other kids played in the courtyard
My mother said it was dangerous
That I shouldn’t mix with that kind of crowd
And so the idea was planted
that the world is far too dangerous
to be lived

That moment when anything can happen
everything can change
and you don’t care
Yes—you do care
about your well-being
about
being truly happy

I picture myself
walking into the places I used to go
people giving me sideways looks
“She’s different”
Yes—
I grew wings
and became a goddess

When I was a child
I played with the egg carton
scattered paperclips around the house
bottle caps
nail polish
anything
that could be a passenger
on my spaceship

Everything in life is a process
It’s more about letting go and learning to stay
There is no control
Only cycles and adaptation
Here’s the question:
Do trees cry when their leaves fall in autumn?
They mix into the ground
a blessing to the soil
a party for some passing child
Even the tree understands
that not everything is meant to stay
But from what goes away
a new beginning is born in its place

I feel like I’m about to explode
Not from something bad
But from joy, yes
The very thing I once judged
Turned against me
I had no idea the twist life had in store
I spoke so poorly of poetry
Old thing, boring thing
But now my words
Only know how to be poetic
What was poetry again?
Ah
Yes, my life is now this
Everything is now song and poetry
Life is more beautiful, more colorful
My heart has learned
to love speaking

My greatest fear
is telling someone
all the pain I’ve been through
how many times I cried
and hearing them say
it was all in my head

is there anything wrong
with being just
a spectator of life?
watching the living go
the dead return
not letting it shake me
never caught off guard
just letting it flow
as if some great sage
had been reborn in me
and nothing was new
under the sun

Why won’t it cut?
I’ve run the knife so many times
but nothing comes out of my thigh
at least,
my tears have stopped falling

You look at me, angry
in the middle of our friends’ wedding party
and ask
why I’m always sad,
always making drama
in every moment that should be
happy
joyful
I look at you, confused
lost inside my feelings
I only know I feel bad
really bad
but you can’t see it
I’m not even sure you care
So I just say
I don’t know why

I quit my job
because I wanted to invest in my dreams
but depression made everything blurry
distorted
confusing
What were my dreams after all
I asked myself on the fourth day
lying in bed

This week’s reading
began with a card called Hope
It was exactly what I needed today

Healing doesn’t come overnight
And it doesn’t come in waves
Healing never tells you when it will arrive
It’s a process
It settles in slowly
It’s a state of mind

You found this book on the last shelf
of an old, dusty bookstore
Yes
I didn’t write this to be a success
Only those who truly want to be healed
will find me

There were many times
I cried
beside you
lying in bed
wrapped in blankets
I don’t know if you heard
I only know you did nothing
I’m still waiting
for you to do something

at my graduation
there wasn’t anyone there
I wished was there
even you weren’t there
but your ex was
after getting my diploma
I went back to our little house
in the middle of the community
with no idea about the future
feeling so alone
I cried
cried endlessly
no one to comfort me
I wanted to stab my heart right there
I felt
there was something deeply wrong with me

when you look in the mirror and see no one.
when everything happens on autopilot.
when your best friends are your room and your bed.
when everyone is happy and you’re the only sad one in the room.
when you’re startled by the thought that life is no longer worth living.
when you’re already cutting yourself just to feel anything but the pain.

One day I want to climb
to the highest place I can find
stand face to face with danger
and meet freedom in its eyes
see the vastness of the blue sky
and the stars as they shine
take a leap into life
and embrace death as mine

The part I am missing…
But why does it feel missing?
Am I not already whole?
Then what do I lack?
For I search for what is already within me
Long imprisoned
in the claws of the Devil
desperate to break free
But what will become of me with it?
Wasn’t this the missing part?
If it was already in me
it was never missing
It was already
in its rightful place
I just needed to find it

I run my fingers
between my legs
searching for pleasure
something that
usually
I don’t feel in my day-to-day
just a little, I beg
make me feel
something

I wish
all of my blood
would cover the kitchen floor
so I’d know
the end had come

you said:
“you’ve been kinda annoying this week”
ok…
I guess I deserve that
so I start to cry
you leave me alone
alone
alone
alone
in a dark room
in our double bed
alone
alone
alone
I want to breathe
but I can’t
where is the air that was here?
so I just cry
cry
cry
cry
it’s a never-ending cycle
the pills calm me down
you apologize
you say you didn’t mean it
but I still feel
alone
alone
alone

I don’t want money!
How many times do I have to say it?
I know my verses will lead to nothing
But at least I’m whole
Isn’t that what we needed?
A purpose
I’ve found mine: writing cheap poetry
that only sells to crazy hearts longing to understand
Understand what?
I have no idea
I only know that art is this—being ecstatic
Not trapped in some rule because someone said so
Do it differently
Put that dot outside the curve and
Tada! Art!
Only there does the magic make sense
Sorry, babe, you tried so hard to make me rich
But I found my wealth elsewhere
I know, you’ll tell me that money can’t buy happiness
But it can buy many other things
Still, without it
I found peace

I don’t want crumbs
I want gold
wheat
honey
the finest and rarest in this world
I am not cheap
My mental health has cost me dearly
My tears
are priceless
I’d like to see you pay for them all
I cried for everyone
But I cried most for myself
for letting me cry for those who didn’t deserve it
for giving space
and letting them destroy my peace
I owe nothing to anyone anymore
Yet everyone owes me
Starting with the one who writes to you now
I owe myself
a great deal of love

I’m ashamed to show myself
What will people think?
I’ve lived my whole life in the church
They’ll cast me out
And me?
Will I stop
loving myself?

The words come so quickly
I have no choice but
to pour them all onto the page
Let life carry me
Life, carry me away…

I decided to run a test
throw a few words on paper
see what would happen
and I was amazed
by what I found

will everyone abuse me?
no one ever touched my body
but they all took a piece of me
I guess that’s why I’m empty

No
It’s not that I want to be some new, renowned poet or writer
Remembered in the future
When children will hold their schoolbooks
Studying literature
No, God forbid
I just have to throw these things out
All these words suffocating me
I think I have the gift
**** the rules and the standards
I need healing