my inner world
is sharp and dark and
suprising

when i am not hiding
i deserve all the terror
im finding

and when people
make mistakes
they are proving me right

i become so tired
of hurting and fighting
the tide

my inner world is
steep ledges, sharp corners,
and invisible black holes.

and this frightens me
when my soul is a bright
warm growing colorful
ecosystem,
a delicate place i call home
🌱

Flying on an old wooden swing set
Green paint peeling off the sides
Sunlight descending through the spaces between the leaves
Thick on the branches of the old oaks
I never thought I would
Leave behind

She’s kicking high now
With spindly legs
And tipping her face upside down
Laughing like a child
Should
Laughing though life would
Place a sadness in the world
Little by little.

I walk through the edges of the garden in a different time
My voice is hers and mine.

I will always love you
Hopeful little thing
Trusting that these ropes will hold forever
Looking back at four walls that will never crumble
But they did
And they do
And you knew, you always knew.

And if you could only hold onto one solid thing
And if you could just be bright enough to save every one

And isn’t that why you were always smiling?

Such a happy child.
Such a happy child.

And I want to tell you it is ok to stop smiling
And it is ok to let the swing fall down from the sky.
And it is ok that things die right there in the middle of the light
You try to bring.

I like you anyway
And I love you anyway
And I will swing beside you
And hold your hand and we can lay back our heads
and laugh and laugh and laugh
And maybe that will finally

Be enough

And I can forgive myself.