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my inner world
is sharp and dark and

when i am not hiding
i deserve all the terror
im finding

and when people
make mistakes
they are proving me right

i become so tired
of hurting and fighting
the tide

my inner world is
steep ledges, sharp corners,
and invisible black holes.

and this frightens me
when my soul is a bright
warm growing colorful
a delicate place i call home
there's a plague but im somehow not letting my mind yell at my innerchild.
Sav Jan 26
At first it was about you
Seeing adornment in your eyes i tell myself
I have to break the cycle.
I HAVE to break this cycle

I don't know how
To stop
This cycle

At first it was about you
Wanting to show you the stars and the sky
Hear what you've seen in the clouds today
To show you the wonderment and beauty of this place
Not teach you how to be afraid

Then it was about me
Every breath of air I take
And I exhale ash
How will I be better for you?
Be there for you? Grow you?
From the examples I've had?
It was about you
but now it's me?
Is that- selfish

I think...
It was both
You see
At first it was you
Because thats how I understood
But  it was me too
You were my physical
Of my

And as I learn to nourish you
my little love
By showing you the pine trees
The dew stained mornings
The great beauty of this place
That you-
Don't have to be afraid of
I will learn
Beseeching words
genuinely rooted from
the wounded, rotten heart

to the cold, thin air of
"I have nothing left to say---"
Thank you for putting up with me. For teaching me to make peace with my demon; not to get rid of it.
Megan Dec 2020
Soon you will feel nurtured
So strong and fearless
I promise I'll never hurt you
I will heal every wound
Pure hearted and restless
Just under appreciated
But I am here now
From my knee's, i bow
My gratitude to my past, my determination to heal.
Kitten Yvad Dec 2020
My heart is not an open book
just to prove all the
lies that i won't tell

heart is not some
dusty stomping field
not an abandoned lot overgrown
with weeds and horrific

i love hungrily
i get...


        ... lost in my head
            i come to.
            in all seriousness and
            i pick up again

pink if i start anew
pure it has nothing to prove

My heart is not an open book
just to prove all the
lies that i won't tell


i am intentional when
im overflowing with warm
open arms

i am soft with misfired
tries, and little deaths for loves already lost.

god little deaths and
god i lose my breath for
loves i have already lost

my heart is an open book
because its a good one
i know it'll make you smile
to read it.

    even a page
    but that's not why
    its on display

its not there for you to touch..

my heart is an open book
because of the way i see
the sky

the way i tire and pray
for the rain
and cry
my heart is not an open book

just to prove

all the lies

i will not tell

it is not soft just to placate you so that you will not yell me

my heart, in rite, attracts likes.
sunrays, sometimes broken things, but always rays of light

my heart is an open book
because i have stories
to tell,

and i love like paisleys
lesbian honey and wild
desert bluebells
CarolineSD Nov 2020
Flying on an old wooden swing set
Green paint peeling off the sides
Sunlight descending through the spaces between the leaves
Thick on the branches of the old oaks
I never thought I would
Leave behind

She’s kicking high now
With spindly legs
And tipping her face upside down
Laughing like a child
Laughing though life would
Place a sadness in the world
Little by little.

I walk through the edges of the garden in a different time
My voice is hers and mine.

I will always love you
Hopeful little thing
Trusting that these ropes will hold forever
Looking back at four walls that will never crumble
But they did
And they do
And you knew, you always knew.

And if you could only hold onto one solid thing
And if you could just be bright enough to save every one

And isn’t that why you were always smiling?

Such a happy child.
Such a happy child.

And I want to tell you it is ok to stop smiling
And it is ok to let the swing fall down from the sky.
And it is ok that things die right there in the middle of the light
You try to bring.

I like you anyway
And I love you anyway
And I will swing beside you
And hold your hand and we can lay back our heads
and laugh and laugh and laugh
And maybe that will finally

Be enough

And I can forgive myself.
to the inner child..what would you say?

"I will always love you how I do
Let go of a prayer for you
It's a sweet word
The table is prepared for you

Wishing you godspeed, glory
There will be mountains you won't move
Still I'll always be there for you
How I do
I let go of my claim on you
It's a free world
You look down on where you came from sometimes
But still you'll have this place to call home always."
Nala Alfira Sep 2020
i don't hate you
i fear you

and you make me stay by
teaching me that

to love is to fear and
to fear is to love
I left home
Aged 10
Put on a bus and away I went
Gone to oblivion
Into the void
Mum standing on the platform
Growing smaller as the bus drove away
Already gone.
Now a man, I return to that bus
Where that boy should have never been.
I take him in my arms
And hold him,
I will not let him go!
He can come home to me,
Stay with me in my home-heart.
We can be together, friends, brothers, partners, companions at arms.
You are safe now with me my boy!
I will not let you go.
Simon Jul 2020
I rhyme to stay in touch with my own inner child!
Only enough before I realize I'm already too old to admit I've been wrong about why I've always thought I'd been rhyming...when it wasn't to begin with.
With that I've forsaken my own trust about who I am...till the very end!
Rhyme as you must... It's nothing to truly be taken seriously, unless it's an option to help you simply cope!
Achick Jul 2020
Exploring my darkness
Deep in my darkest corners
All the memories I’ve locked away
All the sadness I’ve endured
It’s so painful visiting every memory
I haven’t thought of them for so long
I wish they never happened
The darkness is scary and so full of emotions
All the memories I have locked away
Things I tried to forget every. single. day.
These memories are fragile and need to be treated with the upmost care
I’m afraid each time I unlock them
I’m afraid I will shatter and crumble
With each memory I uncover
I know, I’m one step closer
I’ll find myself, my hurting inner child
I’ll embrace myself and tell her it’s all over
I won’t need to hide any longer
One day
This will all be over
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