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LannaEvolved Dec 2020
Take time to know yourself
Find out about your life

Sit in the den and stay silent
Quiet.

You do not know
Who I am.

I am a Prophet he would say
And you’re mine

I'm all yours
But not whenever you want me
I'd reply

Taking dark selfies in a temple
Creepy rituals with the cult of the Tempili Orientis
Studying Bible names
His social script became mine
When I felt like I was losing my mind
a scripture
That repeats itself in mystic fables
Façades of King Solomon
persecuted by his existence

The script:

I take orders from pastors, aliens, angels, bible thumpers, avengers, excuses from sickness, while he spoke of the devil, talking for hours about ******* to thelema, bouts of depression
He was nowhere to be found.

Behind closed screen doors and
phone calls gone raw

The Elimination of Alive
Took over
Spoke of necrophilia
Casting spells by saying
‘that's hot’
“I miss you” but only ever saw me 1x3

To risk my need and call it yours
When you’re out $125, starving for a hit, no love or affection, beaten to a pulp, and emotionally marred
‘It’s hard to heal’

When his real fam goes by
A man named Sam
He would go with him everywhere
A false son
Playing the part

A spitting image of the dark
Left in a pool
of hypocrisy

This was nowhere.

Off the grid
Forever lost inside a universe
that fails so many.
Not everything can be saved.

He was born into modern day slavery
An absent mother and father
Trying so hard to make it
Money is all he wanted to make
And lost it with his words

Addiction
Tunnel vision
The drug is the delusion
that craves and prayers
Can’t afford

And yet how peculiar that I looked at everybody like they have 3 eyes blind
Feeling like I wanted to leave my body sometimes...

The lost souls out there
That got suckled in

She must know he said.


His script continued:

I am already gone
I had love somewhere  
but impossible to keep
I'm so expired

You're a clown
I told her

But when I look in the mirror
All I see is the loneliness of a dead man buying and selling a dream that can only be found
In a man who is not me.

Begging for bread
The last drop of
pink moscato burns the roof of my mouth

Hot chocolate
Ice cold
And my emotions
Buried in mould
for over a decade
I’m Schizotypal
When I speak to her

I say I miss her but these suicidal thoughts
of death still tempt me
That's why I need Angels to protect me

Projecting who I believe I am
A rich one Flaming
A Rosicrucian Cross on my chest
Throbbing panting for salvation

“I am in the middle of nowhere losing everything that could have ever made me”.  

He was other people.
And that is it’s own Hell
Learning from other people’s pain gives us the perspective to learn about ourselves and nothing can ever make up for that. Not everyone you meet will be for you, but that’s alright because the experience is not a sacrifice. It’s a lesson and it’s part of your journey towards a higher evolution of greatness and the vision you have for yourself and your people.

Do not put yourself down or dwell in guilt or shame for what you’ve been through or the not so good choices that you’ve made when it comes to your relationships with other people. Your growth is more significant and you’re better for it.

Keep striving and live the essence of who you truly are. Never deny it to anyone who tells you what they want you to hear. Words can only mean so much, but they are not enough. Your insides know what makes you come alive. Your mental health and your sanity come before anyone or anything and let no one take advantage of that. There are so many people affected by mental illness that aren’t even aware they have something that makes them behave in distorted ways. You are not at fault for their harm done. You are not at fault for their pain nor are you responsible for their words or behavior. Whether they can help it or not. Mental illness is a difficult phenomenon to pin down. Some know what they are doing and are conscious of their behavior while there are others who are not and believe that what they do or say especially tactics like manipulation and suffering are normal acts that don’t affect people negatively. Staying away from that is not something you should ever feel ashamed of or uncomfortable with because you don’t want to hurt the person and because you are naturally a compassionate empathetic human being. Do what you have to do for your own health and respect for your own life.
You are only responsible for your empathy and your own wellbeing.

Protect that. And the right people will surround you fluidly in the circle of your own magnetic faith. Your being, your health in all ways, and your self-love is the highest form of psychology you can gain. Never forget it. You’re worth it!

You want to use your experiences as a source of power rather than a source of shame.
sergiodib Nov 2020
I am the other one,
not the one I’m telling you about!
I’m a grain of sand in the Sahara desert.
I’m a whiff of wind in the Antarctic winter.
I’m a drop of water in the Ocean of Tranquility.
When I lose myself, I find myself.
When I don’t know who I am; I am myself.
When I am no one then I am everyone.
And When I am everyone no more,

Then I’ll be everything.
afterthepeak.eu
sparklysnowflake Oct 2020
And yet there is nothing I would rather be.

I have grown to appreciate,
            as a nonpartisan–
            a silent sommelier–
the subtle earthy notes of hypocrisy with which
my deflated ego attacks my flimsy skeleton.

I know my own irony, my instability, my naivete.

I have been raised in the midst of myself–
I carved and nailed these words together to make trellises
around which my elastic grapevine limbs have learned
to wrap and coil and hoist themselves toward the sun.

I have built myself,
and I am in this vineyard alone.

There are distortions in these wooden lattices,
and there are seasons when the grapes grow sour
or the vines do not flower
at all,
but the crop is resilient and the wood does not break,
and there is enough sunshine here
in the summertime to sustain
and to yield something complexly beautiful because it has been weak,
and it has known the cold.

I have built myself,
and I am in this vineyard alone.

There are plots of land far more fertile than this one,
foundational structures far more symmetrical,
grapes far sweeter and more robust of flavor,
but there is no wine I would rather have flood my veins;
there is nothing I would rather be.
i wonder when i'm ever gonna choose to write in meter of my own free will.
Gunnika Mehra Jul 2020
I feel like crying
But not in front of even a single soul.
I don't need people to tell me it's okay,
Instead I want  ‘me’ to make ‘myself’ whole.

I don't want a thousand glares of pity at my tears,
I don't need empty words thrown in the air.
All I need today is a smile,
A flower blooming from inside.
Rashma Jul 2020
What is beauty?

Growing up I was told
lighter skin, bigger eyes, smaller nose thinner lips, straight black hair
thin body, smaller frame
smaller shoe size

There was no embracing of
my brown skin, almond-shaped eyes
longer nose, fuller lips, wavy voluminous hair thick thighs, larger frame
not size 6 shoes

No celebration of my own beauty what forms and defines me
until now.
I choose to not be the subject of another’s judgement of what is considered beautiful or not
to be molded into what is acceptable and approved by my culture, my society, people around me

I choose myself
my uniqueness and my acceptance of myself just as I am
is true beauty.
jules Apr 2020
i found the girl who
felt things too deeply
and instead of burying her
back inside
where she had resided
for a decade
i cherished and nurtured her
and told her it was okay to come out


i found the girl who bore
a fragile heart
and gave too much of
her soul away
she could only see
the good in others
and through loss and rejection
she learned she was too sensitive
to exist in this world


i found the girl who lost
her softness
she swallowed pills
and smoked
to stop feeling
she took a blade
to her own wrist
to make herself go away
she swallowed rivers of
emotion within
and wore armour over her chest
to be more like everyone else


but
i was no longer ashamed
of the little girl
with temper tantrums
broken daydreams
and sad eyes
who felt deeply —
all she ever needed
was love and acceptance


so i found myself
i found the girl who was once lost
i uncovered all the parts of her
and set her free
based on a writing prompt:
"this poem urges you to look inward today and ask yourself what you found this year. begin with "i found ___"

(writing prompt: @airplanepoetrymovement on ig.)
Meena Nezami Feb 2020
As soon as we are born
We’re judged by the size of our bodies
We are told to fit in
So we may as well settle in
But self-doubt is like a declaration of war
Once we adhere to society’s norms
Within our own flesh
Self-doubt creeps in
And strangles self-love in its sleep
There is turmoil beneath my skin
I no longer want a touch of hatred
Upon my flawed skin
I want to love myself
Without feeling delusional
I want to be like wildflowers
They don't care where they grow
And the flowers that I know
In the fields where I grew
Were content to be lost in the crowd
I intend to grow
With or without water
And bloom
With or without sunlight
And raise above cracks of the earth in a sunbeam
I will flourish
In the way
I’ve always supposed to
The wildflower is a figment of my own imagination
I wish I could say that
I am to become one
To have the ability
To grow
Even under the harshest of conditions
Leaving my old self behind
Blooming out of nowhere
In a land far from the madding crowd
But it is never that simple
This is a war I intend on winning
I will not let self-doubt
Limit my potential
And get away with destroying all that I cherish
I will change and so the parts of me
That I lose
Will always find a way to grow back
I may bend and break
But we don’t always heal
Healing requires time, and time is fickle
Pieces of me that were once dismantled
Begins to unite themselves
Inside my skeleton
My failures haunt me from dusk till dawn
Yet I fend them off as often as I can
P.S. I can’t allow my past to swallow me whole
Kyle Duran Feb 2020
Accept yourself

You may not like it,
but you will set
your mind free

Once accepted
nothing can set you back,
as understanding is
freedom of doubt
What do you think?
eleanora santino Aug 2019
now you know
i am not what you thought i'd be
what more did you expect?
i can now be all the forbidden colors
but still a child, a wanderer
nothing else
once you find the tunnel
you will find the way out
and once you start down this path
you will not stop running
it's not easy, being you
sometimes you have to lie
to find the truth
in the bubble of life
you're too afraid to pop
will you grow so large
until it can no longer hold you?
or will you let it suffocate you?
will you go on and rot?
will you become bigger than what presently grasps you? or will you succumb?
Cody Aug 2019
For you to truly open up the door and welcome yourself in has to be the greatest achievement and this is where your story begans.
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