I take my leave
And forget them all behind
The old is gone
the new has come

I leave the pointless path
And head for uncharted waters
I leave my comfort zone
And go to see the world

I leave the heartaches behind
And strive to be a better person
One that can love this life again
And deserve to be loved as well

I leave all mediocrity behind
And seek a better, happier life
I leave the past year behind
and open my arms to the year ahead

I leave the regret behind
Over all opportunity forgone
I accept the challenge ahead
And take on new and better chances

I quit moping over the past
To live in the present
and take on the future
As I move forward in this life

Today I bid goodbye to the old
And welcome the new season of my life
So that when I face Tomorrow
I can say that I have no regrets in this wild ride

The winds blow gently
On my cheeks they kissed sweetly
I yearn to be free

You haunt me
The memories that we’ve shared
Keep coming back to me
The way you play and touch my hair
Makes me feel so crazy
The kisses you have nourished me with
Etched on every nerve of my lips
You left me desperately addicted
It haunts me

You haunt me
I held on to everything you said
Believed every word you preached
Gave in to your every request
‘Cause I wanted you to be happy
Left all my friends who hated you
Left everyone behind just to be with you
Waited every night to be in bed with you
Its haunting me

You haunt me
I gave you everything that I could
All my dreams and my hopes
I threw it all away just to be with you
But when the situation got rough
You took the easy way out
You stepped out of that door
You left me afraid and alone
It broke me

You haunt me
Every night you’re my nightmare
A ghost hanging over me
Leading my mind to insanity
The pain in my heart burns increasingly
Every memory turning against me
Pleading and begging to be yours again
Even if it is slowly destroying me
It tortures me

You haunt me
My life you have filled with misery
And yet I still yearn to be with you
This is how much I love you
Twisted as it may be
I will endure
I will be waiting patiently
All of it because
You haunt me

Anxiety plagues me
I can't seem to sleep properly
My mind stays awake
Even as my eyes are closed
Heart rate is pulsing up
Breathing becomes heavy
Am I drowning in the darkness?

Please don't say good night
Please keep me from dreaming
If I can only see you in my dreams
I don't want to wake up anymore
But the reality of us being apart
Drives me so insane that
I'd rather stay awake

You are the calm of my storms
You are the breath in my lungs
You are the dreams of my heart
You are the reality that I want
You are the good in my night
You are the best of my day
You complete me

Falling
You keep me
Falling towards you
Gravity pulling me down
Closing in to you
Momentum too fast
I can’t think anymore
You’re pulling me in
I keep on
Falling

Falling
I’m falling still
Drawn to your charms
The innocence of your eyes
Lingering on my mind
Those tender lips
Warmly touching mine
Sinking in too deep
I can’t stop
Falling

Feelings
I can’t understand
What makes me stay?
Is it the passion?
The depression or desperation?
You got me cornered
Pushed to the limits
I can’t escape you
Why do I keep
Falling?

Failing
All my defenses crumbling
Why can’t I resist you?
You’ve broken all my doubts
You’ve calmed my storms
You picked up my brokenness
And made me whole
I can’t deny this anymore
For you I am
Falling

Fading
All my agony you banished
What else will you do?
You've kept me hooked
To the scent of you
Your body syncing with mine
In perfect harmony
The pleasure eats my sanity
Just let me keep on
Falling

Fallen
I am left addicted to you
What else can I do?
To please you is my vow
Your happiness is mine
Your lust sustains me
Your love brings me sanity
You are everything to me
And yet every day you still keep me
Falling

Its been a long time since then
When my hands held someone elses
Its been a long time when I last
Felt my heart yearn for someone

Awkward smiles flashing at each other
Flirting eyes staring towards one another
Hugs exchanged like there's no tomorrow
My kisses marking your cheeks and forehead

Emotions are in overdrive
As you look at me with your playful eyes
My heartbeats are skipping erroneously
As my lungs are gasping for breath

Your hands felt soft and sweet
As you happily laced them around mine
Your fingers touching each of my own
Each stroke sending jolts down my spine

Whenever you stare at me I want to melt
Ten seconds in your eyes feels like an eternity
It makes me want to pray for Time
to freeze
Whenever I surround you with my embrace

My words can't express how much you mean to me
My body can't endure such sweet emotions anymore
My time that froze when love was taken away
Moves again when you suddenly came
to my life

I love you Babe
No matter what they say
People will always have doubts
Even you may not believe me
But when I say that I'm in love
It is rare that I say it
With full and conscious conviction
Just like this one
So please
If you may grant me
Just one wish
No matter how long it will take
For you to reach a decision
Even if you make me wait long
Just please consider this
Please choose to stay
Here with me
Stay in my heart
Hold my hands tight
Embrace me fiercely
And never leave me alone
I love you

Heavy is a mind
That is chained to its past

Heavy is a soul
That knows no way forward

Heavy is a spirit
That keeps running around in circles

Heavy are the eyes
That never stopped shedding tears

Heavy are the ears
That remain slaves to your voice

Heavy are the hands
That knows no other feeling but you

Heavy is the heart
That is struggling to forget everything

Heavy is a person
That drags himself down
To memories that will never
Become a reality

Heavy are his dreams
If these dreams can never be
And will only be
The source of his nightmares

Heavy are the arms
That helplessly linger for yours
Constantly waiting for you
Though never to come back

No more
Please?

I've had enough

I sing sweet whispers of affection
Offer only the best to catch your attention
I ask you, oh radiant goddess of Olympus
May I humbly be the one you choose

For eons your heart suffered
Your trust tampled and discarded
Your coveted love easily forgotten
Leaving you in pain, down and broken

Oh goddess, queen of Olympia
Shine your light towards me
Look at my growing affections, I pray
Embrace my devotion, and the words I say

I don't want to be the Zeus you loathe
Nor the offered champions who eventually leave you
Instead I simply am a mortal admirer
Enamoured by you, my eyes only seeking you

I don't want to be the one who hurts you
I simply want to devote myself completely to you
So I pray for a future that you will see me
As I have chosen to seek the world just for you

Oh Hera, beautiful yet broken soul
I promise you a lifetime of Love
Just to give you smiles everyday
And to be your pillar and strength

In my simplest mortal words, I love you
Regardless of your flaws and your iniquities
In my simplest mortal ways, I'll love you
Through all the ages, no matter what stands in our way

So please, Let me choose to stay
Because your mere presence is my heaven
Your embrace my sturdy, protective walls
Your kisses the nectar and ambrosia that sustains me

Oh Hera, goddess of my affections
Please see me as where you fit
I'll stay here until you're ready to choose
Because in all this chaos, I vow to treasure you

Hidden in this heart
Are my feelings kept from you
Should they be revealed?

Ilang linggong puro nakaw ang sulyap sa'yo
Ilang araw na walang hinangad kundi pansinin mo
Ilang beses nang nilalapitan at pilit na nagsusumamo
Ilang beses pa bang magpapapansin para sa atensyon mo?

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula
Hindi ko rin alam kung lahat ba ng ito ay tama
Ang tanging pinanghahawakan ay ang lakas ng loob
Ang aking hiling ay tanging maging sa'yo

Sa bawat araw na hinirang ng Maykapal
Sa bawat pintig ng puso, ngalan mo ang sinisigaw
Sa impyernong ito na ating ginagalawan
Ikaw ang tanging langit sa aking buhay na kawalan

Ako'y sa'yo, nais kong malaman mo
Ako'y sa'yo, sana'y pagbigyan ako
Ako'y sa'yo, hayaan **** ibigin kita
Ako'y sa'yo, sa lungkot at sa ligaya

Tanging sa'yo, lumipas man ang mahabang panahon
Tanging sa'yo, sa bawat pagdapa at sa bawat pagbangon
Tanging sa'yo, magunaw man ngayon ang mundo
Tanging sa'yo, at sa'yo lamang ang puso ko

Ikaw ang ilaw sa madilim kong landas
Ang parolang gabay sa bagyong malakas
Ikaw ang laman ng damdaming puno ng lakas
Ikaw din ang kahinaan, ang pag-ibig na wagas

Tandaan mo na kahit saan man mapunta
Kahit saan mapadpad at ako man ay maligaw
Sa libong tula at liham na aking isusulat
Tanging ngalan mo ang laman, tanging ikaw

Ang gusto lang makamit ay ang 'oo' **** matamis
At mamahalin kita sa habang buhay ng labis-labis
Hindi man perpekto, magkaron man ng mga mintis
Basta't ikaw ang kasama, lahat ng problema'y matitiis

Ako'y sayo, aking uulit-ulitin
Ako'y sa'yo, ika'y kukulit-kulitin
Ako'y sa'yo sa hirap at ginhawa
Ako'y sa'yo, dahil mahal kita

I'm tired.

A candle slowly melting
When the flames eat me away,
Burning brightly as I can,
Amidst the growing darkness.

I'm broken.

A flower blooming in winter
As the cold freezes me over,
Opening my arms to heaven
Amidst the harshest blizzards

I'm depleted.

A wanderer in the middle of nowhere
As the world grew bigger before me,
Trying to find my way home
Even when the world is against me.

Enough.
Let me take my rest.
Let me sleep in the winter
Let me lie in the darkness
Let me make my home elsewhere
I'm simply human
Flawed and bruised
Lost and afraid
Trying to be the best that I could be
Even when everyone is against me.

Let me sleep
Let me rest
Amidst this unending storm
Let me surrender
To the waves and the wind
Let me find peace
Even when there is none
I'm simply human
And I'm tired.

I can't remember the last time
I felt the sunlight kissed my cheeks
Feel the wind whisper in my ears
Breathe sweet fresh air in my lungs
Bask in the glory of the sunlight
And feel its warmth and light
Its rays that nurtures my life
And its warmth caressing my soul

I've been caged and left alone
Imprisoned in the cold depression
Left hopeless and chained to anxieties
To wallow in loneliness detached from reality
The weight of sadness impossible to bear
The isolation eating away all my sanity
Save me from this dreaded fate
Remove my curse and free me

Looking far out from this cell
Into the horizon beyond my reach
There you were, a small drop of sunlight
Glistening in the meadows
Prancing happily through the hills
As carefree as the howling winds
A bright and cheerful light
Which made me felt at ease

Every day you passed by
Unknowingly shining your rays on me
Infecting me with your jolly personality
Bringing hope to the hopeless me
Every day you set as well
Leaving me to the freezing night
But even the cold punishing winds
Can't take away the warm hope you left me with

It gave me the courage to take a leap
Break all my chains and destroy my walls
To stand up at the highest point of this life
And let gravity take hold of me completely
As I start to take that once in a lifetime chance
To fly to you and reach the heaven where you reside
Armed only with mustered up courage
And strengthened will

Heartbeats racing wildly
Reaching for that warm, bright place
The place beside your presence
Hidden in that highest heaven
But as I got too close
Both courage and will melted away
And instead of falling in your arms
I plunged back to that unforgiving reality

I guess I'm never meant for the warmth
That only emanates from your soul
I guess I tempted the Fates too much
They had to cut that thread which led to you
And as I plunged hard into the sea of despair
I could only look at you from afar
While I sink back to this morbid reality
That I shouldn't want what I could never have.

If you only knew
How much I've been keeping it in
Maybe you could cut me some slack
And leave me to my thoughts

If you only knew
The feelings in my wavering heart
That no matter how much I resist
They're eating me away slowly

If you only knew
How much I want to apologize
For keeping myself at bay and distant
Because I might never want to let go

If you only knew
Why I'm doing things to hurt you
Acting indifferent despite being close
Resisting feelings that I shouldn't feel

If you only knew
How much I'm falling in love
With everything and all about you
Wanting to break the status quo

If you ever find out
That I've been hiding these feelings
To keep this bond between us
Would you rather stay?

If only you would stay
I really hope you won't leave
But if you really do
This may be the last time
That I admit to you
That after all this time
And after all this pain
After all that ignorance
And all that silence
All the wrongdoings
And all the mistreatment
I love you
And pushing you away
Asking God to take away these feelings
Away from my fragile heart
To save what we have
So that I could keep you still
Even when we're far apart

You are a heartstopper
My heart in a cardiac arrest
Whenever you look at me

You are a breathtaker
My lungs gasping for air
Whenever you breathe near me

You are an anxiety
My attacks keep getting worse
Whenever you smile playfully

You are a disease
My body feels weaker
Whenever you touch me

You are a morning calm
My mind feels at ease
Whenever you appear before me

You are the wind
My hands can't feel or grasp
Whenever I try to catch you

You are a dream
A whispering spectre
Whenever I imagine you and me

You are a wish
Something that my heart wants badly
I hope our story becomes a reality

My mind is blissful
My body feels light
The air feels cool and inviting
The sheets feel warm and soft
The tension slowly rising
Anticipating the next steps
Heartbeats resonating
Syncing in passion
Waiting for either one
To break the tension

Those eyes full of innocence
Piercing through me
Seeing these devilish intentions
Unveiling the mischief in me
Sensing that sinful wanting
And yet it still looks longing
A lamb walking to a lion’s den
Unsure of what will happen next
Leaning in for a kiss
From the gaping mouth of a hungry lion

Like floodgates in release
Gasping for each other’s air
The spice in your lips
Burning my every nerve
Every touch we make
Every breath we take
Sending shivers down our spines
The bite marks and scratches
Etched on our bare skins
As we consume each other’s being

Your body on top of mine
As if it wasn’t your first time
Commanding my every move
Controlling every direction
Engulfing my every being
Your snow soft skin
Melting into mine
Giving into the vibrations
Deeper and deeper
As time passed by

When morning light came
Even your shadow was gone
That tequila was too much I guess
It made me forget all the fun
That lustful encounter
Forever etched in my body
Burning through my mind
Through faded memories
I wish I could vividly remember
That wild night of September

The lamb becomes a lion
Untamed and unleashed
The innocence gone
The hunger ever-present
One that can never be satisfied
The lion becomes a lamb
Humbled and Unseated
His pride diminished
His shame unending
Unleashing passion that won’t ever be pacified

I can't sleep tonight
Thoughts running wild in my mind
They don't want to stop

Staring at the setting sun
Thoughts drifting with the clouds
Mild sunlight kisses my skin
Gentle breeze hits my face
Headphones on my ears
Listening to the songs of my youth
Train ride feels a bit bumpy
People coming and going
Melting behind the scenes
As I stay frozen in my thoughts
Lingering on the moments
Of a roller coaster path
When there was suffering
And there were triumphs
When my smiles lit up
And the times they died
They're all here with me
Shaping me to what I am now
Still in my transit
To the destiny I'm given
Still growing and learning
Still falling and stumbling
But with hope and drive
With courage and faith
And an unfaltering will
I'll get to my destination
My final stop
And carry on to a new journey

I'm still in transit
Heading to that special place
Where I really want to be
Waiting for me
And made just for me

I quit
I quit this mediocrity called Life
This existence filled with paradoxes
This life which lacks any form of happiness
These days that are filled with suffering

I quit
I quit this depression that eats me
This sadness that has long plagued me
This hatred that drives my every day
This angst that hovers over my head

I quit
I quit this stupid blaming game
Where I never took an ounce of responsibility
Where I hide behind flawed reasoning
Where I let my flowery tongue do my ***** work

I quit
I quit this pursuit of temporary happiness
Where I let Chance give or take control of me
Where I blindly wait for fruitless promises
Where I let this unfair Life give me anxieties

I QUIT
I QUIT THIS STUPID GAME
I QUIT FROM EVERYTHING THAT CONTROLS ME
From now on I am master of my fate
I am the captain of my ship
I alone pursue what I want
and not let anything come by chance
I will take responsibility for my actions
and take all the blame for my iniquities
I will not let anxiety take hold of me
and free my mind from all negativity
I will give up the pursuit of false joy
and in exchange pursue true wisdom
That this life is not as complicated
as what I thought it was.
That this life is just a simple struggle
and will only yield to those who are strong
Strong in mind and heart
Those willing to recognize and accept all weaknesses
and to change and convert them to strength

Whoever sits upon Heaven's Throne
Give me the courage to resign from this "Life"
and give me the strength and will
To start the change that I always wanted in me

The eyes of a man
Broken and tested in life
Tell lots of stories

To that sweetest belle
That touched my life
It's been one year since then
When you walked in my life
As graceful as a summer sun
And showed me a way
And a new place
To spread my wings
Where I can express
The truest me
And where I can truly be
Free

Thank you..

You're under my skin
Worming your way beneath me
Can't avoid your sting

Sweet little laughter
From these half-meant jokes of us
Makes me fall truly

Life is a journey
And the greatest mystery
Is how you found me

Stay with me tonight
Lying down on the sand
While waves come and go
And the evening winds blow
The moon looking bright
And the stars blanketing the sky
The bonfire crackling slowly
Bringing warmth to our bodies
While you and I remain
Tangled in an embrace
Stealing kisses in between
You within my loving arms
Looking so precious to me
With your eyes twinkling
From the light of the dancing fires
And as you look up
It reflects the vast starry sky
Like a window to another plane
Another universe within you
It gets my mind thinking
How I want to know
Every single fact about you
Every single truth you know
And how I came to fall for you

I want you
To stay in my embrace
To kiss me gently
As I crave for more of you
In a cool tropical night
Drunk with each other's desire
Like its our last night together
Drowned in your beauty
Which turns me into a beast
As the night grows torrid
And my brain feels melted
From being touched by you
I want my every day
And every night
In this place
And at this time
With no worries
Just with you
Just like this
For the rest of our lives

In my mind and heart
All I cherish and adore
Its just you dear love

Nung ika’y umalis at lumisan
At ako’y iwanan ng tuluyan
Tanging sinabi sa sarili ko
Kaya ko ‘to

Nung nalamang ika’y nag-iisa
At ako’y pilit na nagpapakasaya
Sambit ng pusong nagpapalakas
Kaya ko ‘to

Nung bawat sakit ay pilit bumalik
Bawat pagkukulang at bawat pasakit
Tinibayan ang loob at sinabing
Kaya ko ‘to

Nung sumagi sa isip ang bawat alaala
Sa bawat ngiti at bakas ng ligaya
Pilit kong pinagiisipan
Kaya ko ‘to?

Nung ika’y hinahanap ng puso
Sinisigaw sa bawat pintig nito
Naguguluhan na ako
Kaya ko ba?

Nung nakikita kang masaya sa iba
At sinampal sakin ang katotohanang
Hindi ka na babalik pa
Kaya ko pa ba?

Nung napagtanto na ika’y mahal pa
At sakin ay ayaw kang mawala
Gusto kong isigaw sa mundo
Hindi ko kaya ‘to

Nung sa’yo ay nagsusumamo
Nakikiusap na muling maging tayo
Ngunit tuluyang binitiwan na ako
Hindi ko na kaya ‘to

Nung ika’y masaya na sa kanya
At ako’y nilimot sa pag-iisa
Tanging lumabas sa aking paghinga
Ayoko ng ganito

Ngayong tuluyan ka nang nawala
Bakas mo ay pilit hinuhugasan
Ngayon ko dapat isiping
“Kaya ko ‘to”

Sana’y makabangon na sa aking pagbagsak
Tumungkod sa sariling mga paa at ituloy ang landas
Pilit pinapaalala sa pusong nasawi
Kakayanin ko ‘to

Babangong muli sa bagong umaga
Gigising sa katotohanang wala ka na
Lalakad ng mag-isa kahit masakit
Lahat ng ito’y pilit kakayanin

Loneliness defines me
Solitude is my insanity
And in the deepest abyss
I find my place, my refuge

My youth has been lost
My heart chiseled and carved
Its pieces scattered in the winds
Hear me plead, don’t let me die

In this deep withered heart
The soul of a child lies
Yearning to break free
Be released into Paradise

Locked in a cold depression
Save me from this facade
Hiding behind a mask of contentment
Whereas I greedily yearn for atonement

Break my chains
Save my sanity
Give me Love
Bring me to Reality

Free my aching soul
Free my tired heart
Give me new strength
Don’t let me fall apart.

Hear my plea
Take me away
Hold me forever
In my arms, stay

Its always been the same old story everyday,
The looping routine like movie scenes on replay,
Everything feels bland, dull and uninteresting,
God, I just wish for a change so thrilling.

It's always the same mistake
In every second, every minute actions I make
Everything has been controlled by anxiety
I wondered, when will my fears vanish and make things confidently.

This solitary life is a mess I want to flee
To leave it all behind, someone please take me
I'm left standing at a crossroads, waiting for that twist
Regardless of how long, for someone I don't want to miss

But seems I was blinded coz I can't see the light,
Or was I just looking for someone without noticing my might?
Standing in the rainy plains where the sky is gloom,
While hoping for someone to reach my hand in a place where I could be doomed

I hope to find you soon, pull you out of that dreaded fate
I'll be the one to quench your thirst, I hope I'm not too late
Someday we'll be together proud shouting each others names
And feels euphoria that we found each other in flames

Your silhouette stays
Even when you're gone from me
The pain still lingers

Driving for miles
To get to where you are
Knees are aching
Hands are shaking
Fuel tank almost dry
Engines barely alive
Legs are tired
Tires wearing out
How long 'til I reach the end?

But..
I'm driving to where you are
and..
No matter how long or far
As long as the road ends
on the space beside you
I'll keep driving on
the highway towards you

The lonely heart sings
It seeks to be where you are
To be by your side

Whatever I do
No matter how I resist
I am drawn to you

That steamy weather
That moist air
Your addictive kisses
Your lingering touch
Your mesmerizing eyes
Your porcelain body
Your seductive curves
The way you hold me
And cherish me in your arms
The way you smile at me
And how it takes me away
How it blew my mind
And dulled my senses
I wish I could press rewind

How vivid it was for me
Everything you made me feel
And yet how come I alone
Have these memories of you and me?

Even when we're done
No matter where we are now
Your marks are on me

I need a mask
To hide the fears
Ensnaring my heart

I need a mask
To hide the feelings
I still have for you

I need a mask
To hide my anxieties
While talking to you again

I need a mask
To hide my frustrations
Over being not over you

I need a mask
To hide the chaos
That lingers in my broken solace

I need a mask
To hide the tears
And show you a false smile

I need a mask
To hide the screams
That I suppress in my lungs

I need a mask
To hide my weakness
So that you'll never see

I need a mask
To avoid my fears
Of seeing you happy
While I drown in my misery

I need a mask
To create a masterpiece
That fools me into thinking
I'm gonna be okay

I need a mask
To hide the fact
That until now
Nobody can replace you

I need a mask
To avoid confronting
These unavoidable emotions
Telling me that I still love you

I need a mask
To avoid everything about you
To keep my sanity in check
Even when insanity eats me away

I need a mask
To hide me from your world
So that someday
I may forget you

I need a mask
But which one should I wear
When I'm confronted with the truth
That you'll never come back to me?

The soft wind breezing
Whispering songs in my ears
Sounds sweet to my heart

The crackling bonfire sings a lullaby
Singing in sync with the humming wind
The crashing waves joining the symphony
As the moon and stars put up a light show

Cicadas join the fray in chorus
As the palm trees sway in a dance
The space in between us growing closer
Our hearts booming like drumbeats

The sands grow warmer
As our bodies move in closer
My gaze in a hypnotic trance
Fixed upon your sparkling eyes

Your breathing patterns sound erratic
As you pull my head closer to yours
My hands are shaking crazily
As I hold you closer in an embrace

Your breath feels calmingly warm
With a slight scent of peppermint
Mixed with a subtle hint of alcohol
The fragrance makes my head go haywire

Your lips puffed up in anticipation
Wanting and waiting for a sweet sensation
As I lean in with passionate emotions
And seal the deal of this romantic connection

My head feels light and dumbfounded
The nerves of my brain in crazy overload
So this is what kissing feels like
When it’s done by two people madly in love

My hands are sweating buckets
As they sweetly caress yours
I hope you won’t ever notice
How wild my heartbeats have become

Every moment replaying in my mind
Like movie reels vividly coming to life
While I look at your sleeping face
And your body lying on top of mine

God, I pray to hear that soft, whispered breathing
Every morning I wake up and every night I sleep
A soothing lullaby to my dreaming heart
And a concrete reality I want to wake up to

Sunlight slowly rising in the horizon
As the winds run in a different direction
A long kiss greets me good morning
The sweet smile you gave etched in my eyes

I hope that the warmth this night gave us
Would stay in our souls ‘til we’re old and grey
I long to love you 'til I draw my last breath
And in your loving arms I'd rather stay

Sometimes there are secrets
That are better left buried
Forgotten in the past
Scattered in the wind

Sometimes you have to lie
To hide what lies inside
Telling yourself the sweetest lies
Than to swallow the bitter truth

Sometimes there are mirrors
You'd rather not face
Because you're afraid to discover
Things you've been oblivious to

There are things that we'd rather
Let the ocean waves swallow
Mirrors that we'd rather cover
Than see what truly is reflected

I've broken my mirrors
Locked away my fears
Drowned myself in the lies
And never ever looked back

And yet like a phoenix from the ashes
Why are these mirrors back?

How come when I look
To see who I came to be
I feel its not me

She's someone you love
And someone you've hurt
No matter what you did
How far you've fallen
How distant you've become

She'll open her arms wide
Welcome you to her embrace
Give you rest after all the pain
She'll give you another chance
And she'll say
"No matter what, my son,
I'll still love you."

Winds whispering in harmonies
Moonlight bathing the skyline
Stars blanket the void of night
Everything feels quiet and serene

Eyes locked in a passionate stare
Reflecting the wild, loving hearts
Hearts whose beatings go erratic
Skins touching soft and bare

One pulls in for a kiss
A warm kiss that melts the mind
The other locks in embrace
A tight embrace that melts the heart

As kisses grow more torrid
And embraces grow ever fervent
Lovers inch closer and entwined
In mind and heart, body and soul

Under the moonlit horizon
Under heaven and starlight
Love blooms further than ever
Passion and emotion taking over

Heartbeats in overdrive
Giving in to unhinged desires
The night sky stands witness
To our fiery engagement

Sweat trickling profusely
As body and soul collide
Breaths grow heavier and deeper
As hearts and minds entwined

As my lips touch every inch
Nectar flows so sweet to drink
As my hands touch every point
Your whimpers grow louder

Your hands locked into mine
As we finally reach midnight
Thrusting deeper still
As our love blooms to the fullest

The warmth of your breath
Makes my head feel fuzzy
The curves of your hips
An alabaster masterpiece

The warmth we both shared
Deny the cold winds tonight
In your embrace I choose to stay
Under the stars and moonlight

Your perfect silhouette carved on my mind
Your sweet bedroom voice on repeat in my ears
Your addictive lips lingering on my mouth
Your alluring taste still stuck on my tongue
Your subtle brown eyes triggers a cardiac arrest
The scent of your sweat still clings to my body
That steamy night still drives me wild
How you hold me tight and made me yours
God, its not even the best part

Whenever we wake up
Staring in each other's eyes
Feeling each other's touch
Gasping for the same, warm air
Exchanging each of our breaths
As our eyes meet and linger
I can't help but fall deeper
****, you're so beautiful
Both inside and out
I'm in love with your smile
The smile that fries my brains
That laugh that electrifies me
Those whispers that bring me ease
God I want them everyday

More
I want you
More

More
I love you
More

Give me more of you
Let me fall deeper
Don't let me escape
Hold me tight
Cling and never let go
Kiss me slowly
Don't let me pull away
For a gasp of air
Have your way with me
Just give me all of you
I want to see only you
To feel only your touch

Be the best part of my day
The source of my desires
Make me yours everyday
Keep me addicted to you
Make me want for more

More of you
More for me
And as I love you more
I'll make you love
more of me

I'm in a trance..

My knees are shaking
My throat choking on words
My face beaded with sweat
My mind in a chaotic state

Here I am..

Wearing this heart of mine
On a sleeve of uncertainty
The words trying to come out
From this stomach filled with butterflies

How do I say this?

Ever since that day we met
You already caught my attention
My eyes we're looking towards you
With every little thing you do

Everyday you sparkled..

Like stars in a dark night sky
Every little thing about you
Set sparks in my ******, depressing life
Little cinders slowly burning my anxieties away

Until I was set ablaze..

Consuming every bit of me
Occupying my every thought
And before I was aware of it
You pulled my heart towards you

It consumes me..

This insanity I call ''you''
It makes me writhe in pain
But also eases my sorrows
Burning me to my core

I'm going crazy..

I never even planned this
To fall in love with my best friend
But the more time we spent together
Made me realize that I always wanted you

It's not an easy thing..

To tell you that you consume me
And that I want you to be mine
And I, to be yours only
To be more than what we have now

I want to take you..

And lead you towards an uncertainty
That may completely destroy what this is
But the only thing I know for certain is
That these feelings are real and overflowing

So..

Here I am terrified
Giving my heart to you
Whether you break it or throw it away
Know that from this day on
I declare to the world
That I want to us to be more
Than what we are now
And that this heart that I give
Will always belong to you

Writing this piece not with my mind but my heart,
Not with my thoughts, but with my feelings
It's not easy to say
but I wanna say it anyway

I love you.

Rays of sunlight shining dimly at dawn
Slowly illuminating the fading night sky
Stars becoming invisible as morning comes
As cirrus clouds streak the early morning skies

Morning traffic jams slowly building up
Quiet streets waking up with blaring car horns
Sidewalks brimming with people in transit
As the sleeping city slowly comes to life

Amidst all that chaotic, monotonous cycle
I find myself gazing at your sleeping face
Listening to your soft, gentle breathing
Entangled cozily in my embrace

Your tranquil snoring feels like music to my ears
Your calm face etched in my most beautiful memories
My hands can't stop from touching your gentle cheeks
As I contemplate if should I kiss your lips good morning

I just want to stay under these soft bed sheets
Staying with you here,  entrenched in your soothing warmth
Pretending to be asleep, waiting for your morning kisses
While pulling you back from the cold to my greedy, wanting arms

These are the mornings I want to wake up to
These are the mornings that I pray for everyday
Dear God, please don't let her wake up yet
Let me just stay and stare at this small piece of heaven

I've prayed for you for a very long time
And in my search I may have been unfair to you
I may have done these with other people before
But this time, I know, nothing beats these mornings with you

So I'm sorry
If I didn't wait before
I'm sorry
If I never stayed faithful
I'm sorry
If I was in a wasteful haste
I'm sorry
If you were never my firsts

But now
I thank God for leading me to you
Now
I thank God for staying faithful
Now
I thank God for His mysterious ways
Now
I thank you, for waiting to be my last

These are the mornings that I want to wake up to
These are the mornings that I wanna live for
So please, If time can just stop for a few more minutes
I just want to savor how blessed I am to be with you

I love you with all my heart
I love you with all my soul
Stay in my arms, let's leave the world be itself
Sleep in my bed, let's stay here for a little more time

Time stopped frozen
Pain heavy in my chest
My heart in a sudden shock
My eyes holding back the tears

You said its over briefly
I'm left here thinking why
You left without a trace
While here I am trying to get by

Sitting in a bar every night
Drinking alcohol 'til come daylight
Sleeping alone in different motels
Since the bed you left at home feels cold

I can't eat nor sleep
Feeling limp and lifeless all over
My heart you took away
My soul wandering to where you might be

God, it hurts so much
Since she left me here standing
In a road leading to nowhere
My life in a permanent standstill

I don't want anything else
I just beg for your return
But even if I scream all my pleas
Would you even listen to me?

You were my morning sunshine
You are my evening storms
You are my sweetest tragedy
Your departure my biggest enigma

The hole you punctured in my heart
Grows emptier as the days go by
Tears falling down each passing midnight
Praying to see your face just one last time

I hope I could just do it over
Fall in love with you all over again
Making the right choices this time
Could you have stayed in my life?

God, I beg for your return
Welcoming me with arms wide open
Greeting me with passionate kisses
An embrace with no intention of letting go

I'd do anything just to have you back
Just to relive the days we were in love
When you were all I need in my life
Looking forward to seeing you smile

This love of ours was worth a lifetime
Yet that lifetime was snuffed out in a instant
I don't think I'll get over you, now or ever
Here I am waiting for my clock to start ticking again

It took me just one look
Just one unexpected happenstance
To change the path I walk on
And let my heart take control of me

I was an unassuming guy
Who people would often only pass by Staying only in the background
Afraid to be exposed on the limelight

You were a sweet summer sunshine
Who makes any man look twice
Confident and beautiful, radiant as sunlight
You're a once in a lifetime jackpot, a needle in the haystack

But loneliness devours you
People took advantage of you
You're sweetly kind demeanor abused
And you were left and torn to pieces

Nevertheless I took a chance
I vowed to make you smile perpetually
Pick up the pieces and repair what's left
Shape it and make it feel something new

No matter your past iniquities
Nor your present insecurities
No matter what scarred you deeply
Nevertheless, you'll always have me

Nevertheless I'll stay honest and true
Nevertheless I'll stay madly in love with you
Nevertheless I'll try to ease the hurt and pain
Nevertheless you'll always be a precious gain

You are the one my eyes see
Not your past nor your future
Regardless of what made or broke you
I fell in love, deeply and truly with you

I'm in love with you regardless
I may never know any reason why
But I do know that my heart and soul
Body and spirit, they all belong to you

You come and you go
Leaving and then returning
Like the wild, free wind

You comfort my heart
Then take it away with you
Like a thief at night

To you I will go
The only direction that
my longing heart knows

Staring into the midnight skyline
Underneath the faded starlight
Cold winds caressing my face
Wooly blanket warming my shoulders

My thoughts wandering in the abyss
Skipping among the wispy clouds
Trying to reach for the brightest stars
Only to fall back into the expansive void

My heart is in melancholia
My mind in aching nostalgia
My chest tightened in a knot
My eyes in a sleepless trance

Take me back to the olden days
The days filled with loving warmth
When I melt from your every kiss
And I succumb to your cozy embrace

Take me back to the bygone nights
The nights filled with untethered passion
When your touch stirs my broken soul
Mending its tangles, soothing its core

Oh how I pray every night
Pleading with the Powers that be
Asking Them for your return
Even if its only in my dreams

Oh God, please take me back
To the eyes that were my mirrors
To the arms that were my hearth
To the love that was my home

Please bring me back
Bring me back to my home
To my love that was taken away
To the missing half of my soul

Please bring me back
To the love that quenches my thirst
To the heart that yearns only for me
To you

I miss you

-J

Lying awake three hours past midnight
As my thoughts scramble in the cool wind
Nostalgic memories of love come to light
Bringing warmth to my weary heart and mind

Thoughts of you come flooding like a river
Overflowing with all the love that we shared
Young I was when you caught my attention
Young you were when I gave you my life

I still remember the warmth of your hand
And how happy it feels when it touches mine
The way you looked at me with those small eyes
Immersing me in the deep abyss of your thoughts

The very first kiss that we shared still lingers
I can still feel my heart throbbing like it did
And when you said how much you loved me
I couldn’t help it but smile as if I’m crazy

I loved you with all I have and all I gave
You loved me as passionate as you could be
I guess it was just time for us to grow apart
When all that romance made us stubborn in life

The feelings we shared stayed within me
Even when you went away they’re chained on me
And even if you now stay in the arms of another
My love for you exists, even if I freely gave you away

This weary heart is getting older each day
Not knowing if it will be able to love as it did
As much as I want to love like I’m young again
This heart only opens up to the one it loved first

If only it could go back to the way it was
A young heart that could give love so passionately
A heart that is never cold and always forgiving
Then I guess this lonely existence could be upturned

This old heart wants to love like the first time
When its innocence was whole and intentions pure
If only I could turn back the clock, go back in time
I would regain all that happiness, of that I’m sure