Hey bro, I got your back
Through thick and thin
Won't let any harm come to him
No matter what weapons they bring
The hate can never break the bond we have
We got a connection nobody else has
Same blood flows through our veins
Same creative forces in our brains
Never give up
Strive to be your best
You have a talent you're willing to share
You've got a knack for showing you care
Even with this sibling rivalry
Nothing can change the knowledge I've gained
From watching you grow into who you are today
And we may pick fights,
It's just brotherhood gets a little rough sometimes
But I know you will achieve great things
And I can't wait to see you living your dreams
All this faith in you I have
You've inspired me to be better
I need to set examples for my younger Brother
Need to get out and try and reach these dreams
Show him if you work hard enough for it
You can make it anywhere you want
Dedication can take you beyond the stars
A little blood, sweat and tears, can take you so far
No matter where it is we are
You’ll be always shining from afar
No matter what happens I got your back
Just hope you always remember that.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Never felt this confident
(In love)
Baby girl
It's not enough
To say I'm in love
I never expected this

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Am I nervous
(No)
Got butterflies,
From the moment
I look into your eyes
Girl, please stay in my life
I've never been more alright.

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Is she perfect
(Yes)
Oh the way she talks to me
Girl, I'm falling to my knee's
Never been addicted
To someone like this
Your lipstick stains my lips
From the touching
When we kiss

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Every time we walk
Along the beach
At night
I'm holding your hand
Then our eyes meet
And we fall into the sand
Making out as the waves
Crash in the background
Something so wrong
Could ever feel so right
Yeah I have never felt more alive

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

©2018 Written By Benji James

Killed vibes, killer lines
I ****** these verses every time
Always got my heart out on the line
Always on the lookout
For that perfect rhyme
Every night I just have to write
I can't stop I'm addicted to this
I like the feeling it gives
Especially when others
Find a connection
Then they find it worth expressing
That is a powerful thing
It leaves me in awe
It just makes me want
To do this even more

Jot these thoughts
With a pen and pad
Give them a story
To which they can relate
Even if it's something fake
Surprise and shock
Is something I love
Like to make people think
Like people to relate
And let them know
there are people out there
Who feel the same way.

Don't need no psychologist
To diagnose me
Truth is I'm not that crazy
These are thoughts everyone thinks
I just put them on public display
On my **** Facebook page
Hey, hey thought of a topic
I can completely address today
Pass me the megaphone
I got something to say...
Jot these thoughts
With a pen and pad
Give them a story
To which they can relate
Even if it's something fake
Surprise and shock
Is something I love
Like to make people think
Like people to relate
And let them know
there are people out there
Who feel the same way.

Hey, hey
To all the Unknown
The faithless, faceless
Looking for a voice
Looking around Y'all gotta choice
In the sadness, loneliness
You're looking for a way out
Everyone that's so full of doubt
Turn to blades, drugs or alcohol
There are other solutions
Listen up now
I put my thoughts
Into a chorus and a verse
The best way out
Is to put your thoughts into words

Jot these thoughts
With a pen and pad
Give them a story
To which they can relate
Even if it's something fake
Surprise and shock
Is something I love
Like to make people think
Like people to relate
And let them know
there are people out there
Who feel the same way.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Girl, I need one hundred percent
I'm not gonna be second best
Girl, I need one hundred percent
Don't wanna be the broken hearted again
Girl, can you give me one hundred percent?
Or do we need this right here to end
One hundred percent
I need it
I need one hundred percent
I need one hundred percent

Girl, I won't let you
Just become words on a page
Something I express when I hit the stage
I'm done with breakup songs
Been writing them far too long
I need a girl who's gonna give there all
I need a girl
in which I can place my trust
Know they'll protect this tender heart
No more looking for love in the wrong places
No more being trapped in friend zone spaces

Girl, I need one hundred percent
I'm not gonna be second best
Girl, I need one hundred percent
Don't wanna be the broken hearted again
Girl, can you give me one hundred percent?
Or do we need this right here to end
One hundred percent
I need it
I need one hundred percent
I need one hundred percent

Tell me if we need to break it off
Tell me am I wasting my time
Are all these just throwaway lines
Are you lying behind those bright eyes
Am I suspecting something
Or is this tingling feeling nothing
Can't see between the lines
To read the signs
Tell me I just need to know cuz

Girl, I need one hundred percent
I'm not gonna be second best
Girl, I need one hundred percent
Don't wanna be the broken hearted again
Girl, can you give me one hundred percent?
Or do we need this right here to end
One hundred percent
I need it
I need one hundred percent
I need one hundred percent

Somethings stirring inside
Why doesn't this feel right
I have a sickening feeling
Something feels off
Something aches inside my brain
Is my intuition latching onto something
I couldn't see
Is there a hidden message
On your lips
(Didn't read it)
Didn't see it
Come on baby
Make me believe it
I need to know cuz
I gotta feeling we aren't okay
And you know what they say

Girl, I need one hundred percent
I'm not gonna be second best
Girl, I need one hundred percent
Don't wanna be the broken hearted again
Girl, can you give me one hundred percent?
Or do we need this right here to end
One hundred percent
I need it
I need one hundred percent
I need one hundred percent

©2018 Written By Benji James

My hearts on overload
My loves on overflow
But one hearts not enough
To express this love
So take my ***, my lust, my soul, my life, my mind
Cuz you're the one on it all the time
You steal my sight, I'm blind
Our two worlds will collide
Your touch is pure perfection
You take my affection and attention
But still, we are connected
Calm and collected

Girl I can't help but stop and stare
You got the looks, those lips, those eyes
You got me burning inside Ah!
You got me on the floor
Begging for more
Down on my knees
Charmed and spelled
Your perfume hits my senses
I become confused and senseless
Let down all defences

My hearts on overload
My loves on overflow
But one hearts not enough
To express this love
So take my ***, my lust, my soul, my life, my mind
Cuz you're the one on it all the time
You steal my sight, I'm blind
Our two worlds will collide
Your touch is pure perfection
You take my affection and attention
But still we are connected
Calm and collected

Ooh your so smooth
In the way that you move
Your the one that I choose
Your chemistry, magnetic
Your kiss, so sweet
When she hits your lips
Sugar runs through to your fingertips
Don't let the moment fade
Stay in the moment make it great
CHORUS
My hearts on overload
My loves on overflow
But one hearts not enough
To express this love
So take my ***, my lust, my soul, my life, my mind
Cuz you're the one on it all the time
You steal my sight, I'm blind
Our two worlds will collide
Your touch is pure perfection
You take my affection and attention
But still we are connected
Calm and collected

Your skin, so soft
When your gone, I'm lost
Your love, I'm on top
What you got, I want
When you hit it, don't stop
One love, one shot
To show them what you got.

My hearts on overload
My loves on overflow
But one hearts not enough
To express this love
So take my ***, my lust, my soul, my life, my mind
Cuz you're the one on it all the time
You steal my sight, I'm blind
Our two worlds will collide
Your touch is pure perfection
You take my affection and attention
But still, we are connected
Calm and collected

©2018 Written By Benji James

I remember when you were four
I caught you drawing on the wall
I couldn't get mad
Instead I just laughed
And I still have
The finger print painting
that you made
In fact I had it framed
I have every art piece you made
To remind me that your always here
with me spiritually

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

We were at the hospital
I was sitting beside your bed
And you wiped the tears
Underneath my eyes
Then I heard you say
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I smiled
Don't say no goodnights or goodbyes
Yeah princess your my little fighter
My inspiration, my perfection
My saviour, my hope, my strength
Your everything I am
I'll carry that with me forever

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember
when I heard the doctor say
(There's no heart rate)
That line still haunts me
Your mother and I fell to the floor
Neither of us wanted to get back up
It felt like we cried for hours
And then I felt
something give me strength
Then I remembered what you said
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I pulled myself back up
from the floor
Took your mother in my arms
Carried her back to the car
You were every step
You were every breath

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember when
I heard the priest say
May she rest with angels
watching over her
May they share there
infinite love on high
May they protect
her blessed soul
Let the Lord take her
Into his loving arms
To keep her safe from harm
I said Amen to that princess
And I've seen you in the stars
Yeah you'll never be to far
For we are always
With in each other's hearts

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

Sometimes I sit in your empty room
Imagine you playing, drawing
Creating all those games
You used to play
With your vivid imagination
A world of your creation
It's like your still here
I can feel your essence
I can feel your presence
In this place
It's where I go to relive your memory
That you left for me

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

©2018 Written By Benji James

Winds whisper through shaking leaves
As dandelions dance around you and me
In the autumn breeze
My hearts an open ocean
Yeah, you’ll see,
like waves caress the sand
We’re connected hand in hand
With you, that is where I stand
I’m proud to be called your man
Sunset skies reflected in your eyes
I’ve been falling for you
Baby, I’ve fallen for you
Her soul is beaming through
I feel the chemistry build up inside

Sensations tingle from deep within
Just like air need to breathe you in
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Fill me with hope, fill me with strength
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in
Fill me with passion, fill me with love
I’ve got you girl, and that is enough
Fill me with light, fill me with joy
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in

Gotta song coming on,
Music in my bones
hearts synchronised
to a beat all their own
Just like stars, the nights are ours
Just like rain, you give life to me
You help me grow
You’re the knowledge
I need to know
The power you’re sending
From your magnetic connection
Electrified, re-energised,
vital signs come alive

Sensations tingle from deep within
Just like air need to breathe you in
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Fill me with hope, fill me with strength
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in
Fill me with passion, fill me with love
I’ve got you girl, and that is enough
Fill me with light, fill me with joy
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in

Beauty is found
Wherever you’re around
With style through grace
Your sweet cherry lips taste
The more I get of you
The more I get of us
Gets me hooked like a drug
You’re the bandage on my scars
I admire all that you are
Need you at my side
For the rest of time
I see us forever intertwined
Forever I want you to be mine
I see it in you, I feel it in me
I tell you all the things you need
Together we’re better
This is my never-ending love letter
For you

Sensations tingle from deep within
Just like air need to breathe you in
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Fill me with hope, fill me with strength
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in
Fill me with passion, fill me with love
I’ve got you girl, and that is enough
Fill me with light, fill me with joy
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in

©2018 Written By Benji James

Hey, I’m back
From floating in the depths
Of my imagination
Still walking through this life

To that final destination
Still picking up my shattered pride
Still learning to change elements 

To make myself feel better

I fight my insecurities, daily.
Depression comes creeping in, Daily
I fight through these mixed emotions, Daily
I crack a smile and jokes just to cope, daily

If this is our reality
Need to celebrate individuality
And all that we hide inside

Let it out,
Picture it in a frame, to display

This is just a story
Of struggles that we face every day
And that’s okay
Sometimes moments don’t go our way
But all these little things
Are the way we are made
It’s our personalities we convey
This is what makes us who we are.

People I don’t even know judge me, daily
Rumours fluctuate about me, daily
I fight my constant fears of failing, daily
I’ve been pushing myself to places
I thought I would never go, daily
I reminisce and simmer in memories of better days, daily
I dream I could be doing better things in life, daily
I’m stuck in all my typical ways of thinking, daily

If this is our reality
Need to celebrate individuality
And all that we hide inside

Let it out,
Picture it in a frame, to display

This is just a story
Of struggles that we face every day
And that’s okay
Sometimes moments don’t go our way
But all these little things
Are the way we are made
It’s our personalities we convey
This is what makes us who we are.

I still get jealous, daily
Can’t help thinking
how I could have been a better man
then who you’re with now...daily
Still, flow through ideas,
of all the things we could have been, daily
Still crosses my mind
All the ways that I’ve let people down, daily
Still shake, still tremble, still scared
I’ll never be good enough, daily
Still fear rejection, daily
Still waking up, daily

If this is our reality
Need to celebrate individuality
And all that we hide inside

Let it out,
Picture it in a frame, to display

This is just a story
Of struggles that we face every day
And that’s okay
Sometimes moments don’t go our way
But all these little things
Are the way we are made
It’s our personalities we convey
This is what makes us who we are.

I can be the one who tells you,
You’re looking beautiful, daily.
I can be the one who opens you up
To feel real love, daily.
I’ll be the one who’ll make you smile daily.
I still find good moments in bad days, daily.
We can fight our fears bravely, daily
I can give you hope, daily
I can shine a little light I hold inside, daily
I still write lines, daily
I promise I’ll strive to be,
The best me I can be, daily.

If this is our reality
Need to celebrate individuality
And all that we hide inside

Let it out,
Picture it in a frame, to display

This is just a story
Of struggles that we face every day
And that’s okay
Sometimes moments don’t go our way
But all these little things
Are the way we are made
It’s our personalities we convey
This is what makes us who we are.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Just a glimpse of you
Has awoken these emotions
Are now floating
In my subconscious mind
Bringing imagery before my eyes
I remember back to when
Once we walked these streets
Hand in hand
Talked about absolutely everything
I had so much love and admiration
For you
Never would have thought
Things would have ended
The way they did
Then again I was a naive kid

Once we were so close
Now everything  feels...Awkward
Whenever I see you...awkward
Whenever I hear you...awkward
How did it ever come to this
Thought you and I
Were destined to be together forever
Alas all I am left with now
Is awkward feelings and a silent mouth

It’s been years since we last talked
I cut you off after being rejected
More because of the silent treatment
I was receiving
I poured my heart and soul into you
You couldn’t even give me a yes or no
And maybe I’m still bitter
But can you really blame me
After all that time
I was there for you
Through every heartbreak
I was the one who wiped those tears away
You couldn’t even take the time to reply to me

Once we were so close
Now everything  feels...Awkward
Whenever I see you...awkward
Whenever I hear you...awkward
How did it ever come to this
Thought you and I
Were destined to be together forever
Alas all I am left with now
Is awkward feelings and a silent mouth

We’d been through a lot of up and downs
We always managed to come back around
But I stopped all of that
When you couldn’t take the time to
Write me back
I was done playing second best
Watching you date every other man
Still don’t regret that decision
I can’t help but think of you
Because when all is said and done
Still have love for you,
Even though you broke my heart
Just another song
now this is all you are

Once we were so close
Now everything  feels...Awkward
Whenever I see you...awkward
Whenever I hear you...awkward
How did it ever come to this
Thought you and I
Were destined to be together forever
Alas all I am left with now
Is awkward feelings and a silent mouth

©2018 Written By Benji James

Did more than just flip the script
Threw it in the fire
Watched it burn
Told you I was down
To sing a brand new song
Hoped yall were willing to come along
All those dark thoughts
Watched them circle the drain
When I washed them away
And every inch of me has been cleaned
Prayers under starlit skies
Now I've pieced together this life
I'm ready to start again
Postive vibes, clearer mind
this life I'm living is finally mine

I'm happier now
dug out all the doubt
Feeling confident
in the decisions, I'm making
stopped all my body parts failing
My heart was shattered
and maybe it'll never truly be the same
But the blood is still pumping
Yeah it is still running
With a little care,
these emotions that were
locked here in my chest
Have been set free
And now that I can just be me
I know I'm right where I need to be
Living this life happily

Deserted wastelands
a mere memory for me
Try not to take too much time
Reminiscing of darker days
I find my self-basking in positive rays
The sunlight shines on my face
Feel the warmth in the form of a wave
The heat that hits my skin
Heats me up within
Where holes in my soul once laid
The stitched up scars now faded
I've been rejuvenated
The torment that taunted me inside
I've erased it
Memories cleared for new images
Now a rebooted system
Refreshed, I'm ready for new heights
I'm ready for new moments
To be captured through these eyes
Thinking all these positive thoughts
Now I can share all that I've been taught
All those battles I'd fought
now on display
In this museum filled with words
These are all the things I've learned
What it took to get here was earned
And well deserved

I'm happier now
dug out all the doubt
Feeling confident
in the decisions, I'm making
stopped all my body parts failing
My heart was shattered
and maybe it'll never truly be the same
But the blood is still pumping
Yeah it is still running
With a little care,
these emotions that were
locked here in my chest
Have been set free
And now that I can just be me
I know I'm right where  I need to be
Living this life happily

Cut everyone off
That was dragging me down
Less negativity in my life now
Sure it was a little lonely
But I found the ones that truly cared
And with a little help
They raised me up
To this place, this feels like home
Comfortable in this skin, I've been gifted
Only reminiscing about the times
That truly made me smile
Childhood friends,
Achievements that made me proud
And I've been writing better than ever
I can't be thrown from my throne
Got my rightful crown on
Armours strong, demons are gone.

I'm happier now
dug out all the doubt
Feeling confident
in the decisions, I'm making
stopped all my body parts failing
My heart was shattered
and maybe it'll never truly be the same
But the blood is still pumping
Yeah it is still running
With a little care,
these emotions that were
locked here in my chest
Have been set free
And now that I can just be me
I know I'm right where I need to be
Living this life happily

©2018 Written By Benji James

I need another taste of your kiss
From your soft red coloured lips
I need another touch
Of your silky smooth skin
I feel your so tight 

Rocking my heart right

Yeah you’re making me feel like

Your body is talking to me

Yeah your rubbing me the right way

Are you down to play?

Cuz I wanna do ***** things 

with you babe.

Oh Lauren, you turn me on (girl)
You know that you do
Lauren, you got it going on (girl)
I can see that you do

Oh Lauren, I see what you got
Yeah you know what I want
Every inch of you
You know that I do
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you

It seems to me
That she seems to be
Teasing me sexually
Yeah she's explicit
In the things that she'll exhibit
It's exquisite,
her cheeky smile
her bright blue eyes
Seem to get to me every single time

Oh Lauren, you turn me on (girl)
You know that you do
Lauren, you got it going on (girl)
I can see that you do

Oh Lauren, I see what you got
Yeah you know what I want
Every inch of you
You know that I do
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you

Yeah I'm impressed
by her sexiness
But I'm working out
How to get her out of that dress
then into the bed
She knows I want her ***
Gonna get her wet
Gonna make her sweat
Till we're both out of breath
Fall asleep in the bed
With her head on my chest.

Oh Lauren, you turn me on (girl)
You know that you do
Lauren, you got it going on (girl)
I can see that you do

Oh Lauren, I see what you got
Yeah you know what I want
Every inch of you
You know that I do
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you

©2018 Written By Benji James

Deserted wastelands
a mere memory for me
Try not to take too much time
Reminiscing of darker days
I find my self-basking in positive rays
The sunlight shines on my face
Feel the warmth in the form of a wave
The heat that hits my skin
Heats me up within
Where holes in my soul once laid
The stitched up scars now faded
I've been rejuvenated
The torment that taunted me inside
I've erased it
Memories cleared for new images
Now a rebooted system
Refreshed, I'm ready for new heights
I'm ready for new moments
To be captured through these eyes
Thinking all these positive thoughts
Now I can share all that I've been taught
All those battles I'd fought
now on display
In this museum filled with words
These are all the things I've learned
What it took to get here was earned
And well deserved

©2018 Written By Benji James

Hate that you don't want me
But love that you don't need me
Don't you hate it when you're torn
Between all these ******' feelings
Love that you hate me
But lately, I can't take it
And everything is recently eating me
I'll surrender to every thought
And yeah you don't care at all
But babe I've had my share of regrets
But you were never one of them
Our true potential is still undiscovered
But how can we work this out
When you're hiding in the closet
And I ain't trying to cast you in iron chains
I'm just trying to make a change
And I want you as part of that plan
So step up and give me everything
This was never worthless in my eyes
But you burned some scars deep into my soul
But all that is over, Now I'm feeling sober
And I'm feeling so right, right now
Just wish you'd understand me better
See I'm not trying to make this heavier
Then it has already been
The rains washed away all the hate in my heart
And my heart is still pumping blood
Through every part of my veins
And I still get the shakes every time I hear your name
And I would never trade what we have
But right now it feels like all we had
I'm just hoping you can take a chance
Look at me instead of just glance
And sometimes the glass just shouldn't be fixed
But I think we should in a case like this
I just hope there's still a spark there
And I won't stop until I trigger it
I can still feel the electricity in the air
And I know that I've still got a love for you
Deep down inside and I don't want to let it hide
Just hope that you can put a little faith in me
Because I still believe in all you are baby.

©2018 Written By Benji James

It seems I've been travelling around
Through the word of mouth
Look at the way they speculate
Whether I'm gay or straight
Some say that I am autistic
Used to be so optimistic
That we could unite and harmonise
But it seems we are too busy
Pointing out each other's flaws
And fighting needless wars

When did I become
The headline of everyone's day?
Why do I seem to be the topic
In the stories, they spread
It seems I'm the centre focus
Once again
I'm starting to question
Will this ever end?

What will they think of next?
What do I think of Bec and her new boyfriend?
It seems like everybody's
Watching every step I take
And hanging off of every word I say
And maybe I'm a little crazy
But could you really blame me?
They think I'm an attention seeker baby

When did I become
The headline of everyone's day?
Why do I seem to be the topic
In the stories, they spread
It seems I'm the centre focus
Once again
I'm starting to question
Will this ever end?

It seems to me
That I seem to be
The talk of the town
And all the rumours
Are circulating around
Everyone's questioning me
And my sexuality
Who I'm with, what I am
What I feel, what he writes,
Is it real?

When did I become
The headline of everyone's day?
Why do I seem to be the topic
In the stories, they spread
It seems I'm the centre focus
Once again
I'm starting to question
Will this ever end?

©2018 Written By Benji James

Drenched in thoughts
Decisions on my mind
The options I should find
Have become more inclined
To make me climb
For the answer lies
Deep in the dark of the night
That's why we must fall
To learn to get back up
But when this struck
It punctured every cell in my brain
It's made it harder to get up again
I've been a fighter all my life
But this time I didn't feel it strike
The fire in my eyes
Have lost all there desire
To be a high climber
Your soul divider
Has made me a weak decider
When it burnt, it left a mark
Deep inside of my heart
it left no air in my lungs
in fact, I don't feel the rushing in my blood
Can you feel a pulse
Can you hear a beat
Cuz I'm laying here dying
In this deserted street
I fell high from the peak
Only to wind back up on the ground
Hope was lost now it can't be found
Surrounded by vultures all around
Where were you, Where were you?
When I was lost in the crowd
Where were you, Where were you?
When I hit the ground
Where were you?

©2018 Written By Benji James

VERSE ONE
She's bleeding from her lip
From every time he hit
Can't believe that she
Just turned up on my doorstep
Looking like this
And all that I can think
Is how much I want to **** him
Better help her in
Come on let's get you cleaned up
Tell me what happened
Tell me everything he did
Firstly let me clean the bloodstains
from beneath your lips
Wipe the smudged mascara
from beneath your eyes
Seeing you hurt like this
Hurts me deep inside
Gotta be strong for you
Make sure you're comforted
Reassure you everything is gonna be alright
Meanwhile, body temperatures raising
As anger boils deep within
All these thoughts come flooding in

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE TWO
All these words, I soak them in
All these thoughts
are running up and down my mind
How could she not let me step in
This hurting could stop right here
I'm giving her everything,
She just wants me to sit back
Watch from the sidelines
While she takes on this fight
Why won't she let me stand at her side?
And all of this confusion envelops in me
I'm losing focus, Push this to the back of my head
Need to take care of her here and now
Because she needs you here most
I carry her into the bed tuck her in
As I crash back on the couch
All of the things she said to me replay

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE THREE
As I wake the next morn
I go to the bedroom to check on her
I see an empty bed well made
on the bedside desk, a neat note laid
Saying thank you for everything you did
Repairing and mending me back to health
I couldn't have a better friend
Sorry I left before you awoke
Just had to get home
Just want you to know
I'm thankful and grateful for all that you are
You'll always be the brightest shining star
Guiding and watching me from afar
And as cheesy as it sounds
It brings a smile to my face
And for a slight moment concern leaves my conscience
But I hold out hope everything is gonna be okay
That's when images of last night run before my eyes

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE FOUR
Another night, another microwave meal
It's been a while since she last came over
Must be working out,
the counselling must be helping them now
And for once in my life I'm relieved
Knowing she's happy calms my mind
I watch the clock tick time passes by
through montaged scenes
This feels like a happy ending to this story
And photographs of you and I
Are packed in a box
I only open it up from time to time
Childhood memories captured in polaroid frames
I like reminiscing about all those good times
Everything was different then
Together just you and I
Hanging every day and every night
until you moved on with your life
that is just a perfect memory captured in my mind

PRE CHORUS
All of this rage is caged
Calm and content I've stayed
The revenge I wanted on him
Has been forgotten
Even after all he did
I'm calm, breathing and relaxed
My minds at ease
We're both rested and healed
The bloodstained cloths
that cleansed your lips are cleaned
ever so gently you're easing my emotions
As I wipe the tears from my eyes
I think of the way you always look into mine
with every ounce of strength,
You've made me a better man
She was right in what she said
even after all he did

CHORUS
Still feel the tender touch of your hand
And I remember every word she said
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him
And all I can think is how lucky he is
To have a girl like you

VERSE FIVE
As I sit on my couch watching tv
It's been months since she last seen me
When I hear a soft knock at the door
I open it up to see you sitting on the pavement
outside of my front door
she is leaning against the brick wall
Head in her hands, crying
Tears constantly streaming down her cheeks
Bruised arms, black eyes
She looked at me and said
I'm bleeding from my lip
From when he hit
That sentence just tore me to bits
Gotta be strong, Take care of her first
Then I'll hunt him down and make him hurt
Shes covered in scratches, puffy eyes
He really lost control this time
And I'm about to lose mine
I pick her up and bring her in
Pull out the first aid kit,
A warm washer to clean her up
Every dab soft and tender to the touch
I won't hurt you like him ever
I'm the one who will make this all better

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE SIX
That time those words don't cut it
Now the hunters become the hunted
I tuck her into bed to sleep
stay with her until she falls into dreams
I watch her smile and breathe as she lays peacefully asleep
I go around to her house just when he walks out
I strike him hard and fast, I made him bleed so much blood
All the pain he put her through I made sure he felt that too
I couldn't keep that rage caged
had to let it out and get revenge
One day she will understand
I did what was best for her
I won't ever let her hurt
He got a few shots in
But nothing compared to what I did to him
Stitches in my hand and brow
I left him hospitalised
I'll never forget the look she gave
when she found out

PRE CHORUS
I tried to explain
I couldn't keep this rage caged
Killer instincts kicked in
And I got my revenge on him
For treating you like this
Didn't stay calm
Didn't keep her mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
I wiped the blood from her lips
I wiped the tears from your eyes
What he did to you killed me inside
with every ounce of strength,
And everything I am
I went after him
after all, he did

CHORUS
This time she didn't take my hand
And I knew I wasn't going to be a fan
of what she had to say
I regret putting my trust and faith in you
You aren't different
All I needed was for you to be there
I just needed someone who really cared
Someone to wipe away these tears
You were the one guy who tamed my fears
I didn't need any more protection
that you hadn't already given
I didn't want you to be like him
Violence never solved anything
I was ready to leave him for you
You went against everything I said
My love and admiration for you ran deep,
I see your faults
I know your needs
But now you have betrayed me
You were such a big part of my heart
You could have been my addiction, my drug
I was hoping you would listen and understand
Not go after him like you did
I can see the mess this is, my hearts been shattered
Beyond repair, I never want to see you again
Those lines run on repeat through my head.

©2018 Written By Benji James

She's like a disease
Just breathe it in
He is infected
With the girl
of his dream
s
Inject me with your love

I'm inspired by your lust

Baby, we can make a memory

In the backseat of my car

Get into my Hyundai
I call it my Ferrari
It goes hard when I'm at the wheel
Take me for a test drive
I'll show you how it feels
A body so hot it will make you melt
I'll take you to heights
you've never even felt.

©2018 Written By Benji James

I'm tired of bending over backwards
For somebody who just couldn't care less
Well you can just go to hell
Cuz I'm sick of dealing with circumstances, I've dealt
And all the pressures I've felt
I let down all my defences
Left my self-defenceless
Now I'm starting to lose all of my senses
And nothing makes sense cuz
You just went and walked away?
No, it doesn't work like that in my heart babe
I wanted you to stay
I tried to make all the badness go away
But this ain't a game
And I know you are not coming back
Yeah but you got to admit
what you did was slack
Yeah everything I thought you were is obviously a load of crap
I don't know what we can salvage from the wreckage
But what I'm dragging is heavy
And all that you bring is hectic
But I don't wanna be separate
when it comes to you
I'm mixed up with my emotions
I'm not sure whether to give you total devotion
Or if I'm better off without you around
Do you see what I think and feel now?
You can form an ocean of misery
I could drown trying to get out
But I'd rather burn in the flames
With you in my lane
And Nah I'm not ashamed
Of what I feel
Cuz you and I are one in the same
And neither of us is to blame
I just can't give up
On you, on us
So take all my love
But don't hurt me too much
Because I don't know if I'm enough
But for you, I'd bleed all my blood
Drench me to the bone
With all the pain you own
Together we can sink like a stone
You and I should never be alone
So come back, honey
We can work it all out
There's no need to fight this war
No need to scream or shout
Because you're my top priority now
I told you that before
But I'll try to give you more
Than I did before
Yeah, now I know that I'm sure.

©2018 Written By Benji James

You are so beautiful,
Your eyes glow like sapphires
You've got a smile
that lights up the night skies
I know cuz it makes me smile too
I feel your pain when your hurting
And that burns me to the core
Cuz making you happy
it's what I'm here for,
I'd give everything to have a girl
like you in my life
You inspire and give me courage
to keep on fighting every day
You'd be all I'd ever dream of
if you let me in
Your secrets are safe
in my locked mind
Cuz I'd do anything to prove
I'm worth your time
I'd share the world with you
And give you all I have
Your kind and sweet
as far as I can see
your perfection in my eyes
And I wouldn't believe anybody
who told me otherwise.
I'd wipe the tears and running mascara
from your eyes
If you took the chance
to see what lies inside
I can see what lies inside of you
You can make me laugh
with your quirky little ways
Your an individual
and that makes me proud to say
I've never met anybody quite like you
Your cute in everything you do
Being mad or upset with you
would be impossible in my world
Because you're such an amazing girl
I'd die, I'd lie, I'd cry with you
And always hold you tight
I'd never want to let you go
Cuz you're all I think about
every minute of every day
I wonder how your feeling
I wonder what your thinking
And all that is running
through your mind
I know things aren't easy
for you right now
But I'll always be there
when you call
I'll catch you before the fall
I'll always find a way to heal
the scars deep inside your heart
And share the load you bare
Cuz I'd do anything to get you
through every twist and turn
You have all my love
and the honesty in my heart
Your the only one I'd give it too
If you took the chance on me
I'll be everything you need
I hope that I'm everything
you could want
But deep inside I feel like
you deserve a better man
But I don't know how to let go
I wanna know you inside out
I'd like to find
what makes you weak in the knees
Your favourite colour
and favourite place to be,
the movies and music
I could share with you
Long walks and hold your hand
But most of all the taste of your kiss
the soft touch of your tender lips
is a memory I'd like to make
But there's a long road ahead
I wanna do it right
Take it slow, are you in for the ride?
Or would you pass this opportunity
and deny all that I write.
Would you let it just pass by?

©2018 Written By Benji James

Leaving on a world tour
Where I'll be alone
Surrounded by all the unknown
I got no plans for coming home
Oh, oh I'm not coming home

Follow the road
Of paved stone
Concrete laid beneath my feet
Yeah turn on the lights
I'll hit the stage
Surrounded by anarchy and rage
Like an animal in a cage
That's my cards well played
But god I'm glad
that I didn't stay
In this place

Leaving on a world tour
Where I'll be alone
Surrounded by all the unknown
I got no plans for coming home
Oh, oh I'm not coming home

Hear the crowds roar
Memories locked and stored
Some that just burn to the core
Never be the same person as before
Run away little train
From the thinking in his brain
Try to break free of these chains
Burnt by the flame
Bound by his own shame
That was the day
That the monster came

Leaving on a world tour
Where I'll be alone
Surrounded by all the unknown
I got no plans for coming home
Oh, oh I'm not coming home

©2018 Written By Benji James

They just don't get if I'm
******, Cynical or sarcastic
They think I've got a heart of plastic
That is pretty drastic
They say that I'm a spastic
My feelings like rubber elastic
It hurts when it hits
You try dealing with this ****
But wait that's just it, they do
We all have our personal scars
That befall us
And on behalf
Of everybody else
I offer up myself
To take the blame, the shame
Break you free of these chains
If that's what it takes
To break all the trouble I've made
Then lay out my fate
And I'll take your place.

©2018 Written By Benji James

I'm sorry that I was born ugly
I'm sorry I was even born at all
Just to grow up and be an idiot
I'm sorry that I fake my feelings
I know everyone thought I was doing fine
Truth is in my head I'm lying dead on the pavement
And in my heart, there is nothing there at all
All my ambitions went flooding out the door
Now it's just me and these four walls

©2018 Written By Benji James

No boys and girls I won't **** with greatness
I just wanted to get a taste of it
I never really wanted to be in this game
But all these People keep tempting me
And I'm still trying to figure out how to shine
I'm still not sure that it is my time
Sure I gotta few hits locked away
But they aren’t any good locked in a safe
I'm still trying to discover my image
Ladies and gentlemen this is just business
And yeah I tear myself apart for my art
Everyone might think that I'm crazy
For letting this shot break me
But it's what's put in that's special
That's why everyone's relating to this
Yeah I'm not trying to prove a point
I'm not hiding things deep down inside
Regrets are another part of life
And that's why I'm letting them out to fly

©2018 Written By Benji James

Been over seven years
since I've been in the club
What in my mind made me want to come
I wasn't sure that I was still young enough
Even though my mentality,
is probably younger than most the people here
Got grey hairs in my beard
Though I'm only twenty-nine
Kind of let myself go body wise
Haven't even had that much experience in this life
And now I'm entering the prime
Everywhere I look, girls, be dancing
Boys on the prowl looking for lustful romancing
And I'm standing here
Think I'm losing control
Of my mind, body and soul

I'm moving to the music
Feel the sway
Never to old
to feel the music flowing
through these bones
Never to old
To feel my heart beating to the rhythm
All these feelings I've been given
Out on display
Through movements see what the lyrics say

Let the beat come alive
As your body moves in time
Under these flashing lights
And now that these tunes
Have taken me over
I've lost all senses to even care
Just need a night to let my hair down
Not a care in the world now

As I'm lost in the groove
That's when I noticed her
As I look towards your blue-eyed gaze
A feeling lights me up
From a smile that you gave
When I looked your way
Sticking too the moment
as I'm swept across the floor
Through these movements that I make
As melodies remedy everything in me
She glides across the room
Just to tell me what she had to say
And the words that fell from her lips
"Would you like to dance with me?"

I'm moving to the music
Feel the sway
Never to old
to feel the music flowing
through these bones
Never to old
To feel my heart beating to the rhythm
All these feelings I've been given
Out on display
Through movements see what the lyrics say

Let the beat come alive
As your body moves in time
Under these flashing lights
And now that these tunes
Have taken me over
I've lost all senses to even care
Just need a night to let my hair down
Not a care in the world now

The DJ was bringing down the room
With all those dance anthems qued
And as I pulled you closed to my chest
A change of pace
In the playlist, the DJ played
A song that filled the club
As sweet vocals softly and slowly build
To a climactic chill
that runs down your spine
I feel her heartbeat next to mine
The goosebump on my skin
Make my hairs stand like soldiers
So much room to breathe
I feel free
I feel free

I'm moving to the music
Feel the sway
Never to old
to feel the music flowing
through these bones
Never to old
To feel my heart beating to the rhythm
All these feelings I've been given
Out on display
Through movements see what the lyrics say

Let the beat come alive
As your body moves in time
Under these flashing lights
And now that these tunes
Have taken me over
I've lost all senses to even care
Just need a night to let my hair down
Not a care in the world now

©2018 Written By Benji James

Way up in the stratosphere
You’ll find me floating here
Trying to find clarity
Through these brown eyes
Finally, see the sun
lighting up these crystal skies
For deep down in the depths
Of this subconscious mind
Lies dormant lines
Waiting to be brought to life
Like a newborn child
I feed and breathe in new life
they are tended to
Fragile and with care
I watch them grow
as they mature into a complexity
So neatly and gently
These thoughts spill upon the page
Welcome to my dynamic wordplay.

©2018 Written By Benji James

If not for hellopoetry
I would have given up
The writing was starting to take its toll
Left me emotionally exhausted
I was forced to take a break
For all my energy it had drained
Sleepless nights, endless lines
Trying to switch off my brain
Left me depressed
When sentences formed
A story I'd tell
About my life in hell
Sometimes dramatised to a new level
Sometimes I have seen myself become the devil
All my emotions that stain the page
The blood, sweat and tears
Written into each line
Left me losing moments in time
And for this writing became a crime
Didn't feel like I was utilising my mind
Until recently I realised this was the only legacy
I would leave behind
I've seen this art in a whole new light
Through words on a page, I've shown my fight
I've shown all my emotions, I have been totally open
Gave my all in every line
Sprinkled in a flavour of rhyme
If not for hellopoetry all I'd have is blank pages
A mind full of lines, forgotten in time
Took some time to unwind
And that is when I realised
These writings and I are bound for life
I've learned to embrace this now
Finally proud of all my works,
how has it taken me this long
To fall in love with this art
If not for hellopoetry
An appreciation I would never have tasted
And this whole community I've embraced it
Don't care if you love or hate it
It's made me make some changes
If not for hellopoetry
There are talents I may never have uncovered
Some of us are still so young,
Still, more room left to improve
The elder ones raising us up
Understanding a whole new love for this art
I once said These lyrics were written in blood
Straight from the arteries from my heart
That metaphorically speaking
I spread all I am, all across the page
Bled the led with what I felt  
So much heart into every verse
All this time it was never a curse
It was something special I've been gifted
To get all these thoughts out of my system
If not for hellopoetry
I wouldn't be here...caught within this poetic atmosphere

©2018 Written By Benji James

As I awake from eternal slumber
I rise from the ground covered with ash
Bound in a circle of fire
You can call me Johnny Cash
Hands through the fire
They don't burn, no pain
I am immune to fire it seems
Walk right through
surrounded by lightning skies
Thunder rattles my ears
Though I don't burn
I can feel the heat
A thousand degrees
Memories flash before my eyes
Of a past life
I remember monsters and me
Locked together in purgatory

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

I've wandered these deserts for many years
No hope in sight
Not sure if in circles I have been walking
Because all the scenery I've seen
All looks the same to me
Trapped in this box
Just a Jack waiting to be set free
Wind me up so I can breathe
See the light just one more time
My mind has slowly deteriorated, insane
Not sure I'll ever be the same
This is torture, this is the pain
This burns even more than the flame
Trapped in this place
I cannot stay
I need to break free of this cell
Can't stay here trapped in hell

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

Fed myself holy water,
It burns me inside
Too late for confessing past sins
Can't be forgiven for this
Keep hearing voices taunting me
Saying I'll never be good enough
Can't save myself from the pain I've been dealt
You have failed yourself and everyone else
Them words on repeat, the laughs and the screams
Making fun of me
I'm nothing more than an empty shell
Of who I once was
Tried to be too strong on my own
Now I see it takes more to fight demons and monster alone
The mistakes that I've made
Are put on parade through my dreams
Bound and chained to never leave me

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

My soul was torn to shreds
Now just an empty vessel
Eyes pitch black
Not a light left inside
My heart was ripped from my chest
Follow your heart, Now just a distant memory
Said I wouldn't fade
Soulless and Heartless maybe I am
But I'll fight with everything I have left
Until broken in pieces upon the floor
Until I'm unable to move anymore

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

It was just monsters and me in Purgatory
Now I see I'm trapped in myself
Fighting the monsters that I had become
To my own demons, I was forced to succumb
But I won't stand for it no more
I'll do what it takes
To claim my throne
Needed a little help
Needed a little guidance
From my angels of light
Help me to reclaim my life
So I'm here praying
Drenched in tears
I need you to help me beat these fears
I need you to support me out of here
Hear my prayers and all I have to say
I need purification
Plunge me beneath these holy seas
Wash me clean, help me heal
I want the power to feel

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
Found out where it is I am
Wasn't resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
But this feels like home
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I once found myself in
Maybe this was hell
I may have been ******
But I found beauty in who I am
Because of the sins branded in me
They gave me the strength
to find a new way
Nobody was around in sight
There was one beyond my eyes
He filled me with eternal light
Now I've got to let it shine.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Nothing on me to light a fire
In this dark place
Only my instincts can save me
A shattered heart and torn soul
But I’m still holding on
There’s not much hope
But I hold faith
That one day I’ll make it free
From this place
I’ll do everything it takes
To get out of here alive
It’s not as easy as it sounds
The hardest things take time
And this is an endless war
Between a conscious mind
Of doubts and regrets
That fill an insomniacs head

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

Can you hear the howls,
screams and cries
Deafening to the ears
It’ll make you tremble and shake
You can’t give into fear
Or you won’t make it alive out of here
I’ve been facing down monsters one at a time
Too many at once and they’ll eat you alive
It’s not easy to decide
Which one will be next
Just hope that you don’t mess up
And end up dead
I’m locked and loaded
With guns in hand
I’m prepared as I’ll ever be
I’m gonna make it out of here eventually

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

The battles are far from over
Still on guard, ready to defend
Every corner I turn
It gives them a new chance
To catch me off guard
And rip me apart
I’ve got a lot of scars and marks
Barely scraped through
some of my past fights
At the last moments
I was able to turn the tides
How much longer
Can I keep myself alive
I guess the future holds the secrets
Just gotta keep moving
Until I find the exit light
And break free
of this apocalyptic dream

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

I’m panting
Taking a deep breath
Bite wounds in my leg
Hellhounds found me out
All is lost now
Guns are out of reach
Might as well accept my fate
Just give in
Let the monsters win
Sometimes you can’t beat a sin
Unless you devote
your unconditional love to him
This was something I never did
So where I’m going is uncertain
Now it’s finally time to
Let the curtain close
Shut my eyes
This is it
I’m torn to bits

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chased me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
I died alone here in purgatory


(To be continued...)
©2018 Written By Benji James

The secrets you shared
Opened my eyes real wide
Had to take the burdens
That you bared
Couldn’t let them lead you to death
I ****** out the poisons
Plaguing your mind
I wasn’t about to sit on the sidelines
I’m a fighter
Takes a lot to knock me down
It’s gonna take a lot more to take me out

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Once purified
Now drowning in darkness
Opened eyes
Fill these abandoned woods
Everywhere I turn spirits haunt me
I’m not scared, I’m not afraid
It was in this place
My life was made
There’s comfort here
And I’m alright
I don’t second guess
The decision I made
Alone with the ghosts
You gave to me
I told you I’d take them from you baby

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Heaven shut me out
Long ago
I’m just another abandoned soul
I’ll walk these deserts for the rest of time
Taunted by the nightmares that kept you awake all night
I hope you sleep peacefully in dreams
You deserve the best baby
I’m the one who took your pain
Made it my own
Cuz I could not watch it hurt you, no more
I’ll fight for you forever
Your angel in the darkness
I’ll fight until the end
Until my wings are ripped from my back
Until my eyes run black

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

©2018 Written By Benji James

You told me somewhere out there
Is my other half
Even though you were the one I loved
Yeah you lied, left me in despair
Now my heart is beyond repair
Not a day goes by I don’t think about how
I should have made more moves with you
Regretting all these things,
that is what I’m used to
All I wanted was for you to be mine
But that’s not what life had in mind

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

I’m sick and sore
Bodies aching
Suppressed my cravings
Every time I gazed upon you
You were ****** desire
Deep within the flames burn higher
Extinguished my lust
With your words
Left me feeling broken and hurt
Rejection left me depressed
And I couldn’t find a vibe
To breathe in new life
My wires were cut
Left for dead
A rusting tin man

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

All I wanted was to find a future with us
It seems you had other ideas and gave up
All I got left was a box of empty promises
A whole lot of lessons
I wish I didn’t have to learn
I’m laying in the dark
Images play upon the roof
In all the ways that I remember you
The taste of your kiss
The feel of your lips
Tracing the lines in your hands
Playing with every strand of your hair
Every touch placed upon your body
I remember every breath you took
I remember all the ways
You left me shook

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

©2018 Written By Benji James

Back on my high horse
Preaching, teaching
information, education
How to be a better creation
Of your own making
If I fall off my pedestal
I'll surely die
because I'm up so high
Stop trying to knock my know-nothings
Filling the air with empty words
They only fall on deaf ears
Inspirational quotes
Shared on virtual screens
You get lost somewhere in between

©2018 Written By Benji James

Can't keep up with these kids
Outrun, outclassed
Left flat on my ***
Trying to reach a new level
Making bargains with a devil
Got left in the dirt
Feelings hurt
That's why I sold my soul
Soulless, No emotions
Now try to read my cards
Opinions inflicted wounds
Labels covered me
Until I washed them clean
Now I won't let anybody place me in a box
I'm cunning, You can call me Mr Fox
Cuz I'm unique, Individuality, Totally me
May never be on top
But I am everything else that you're not.

©2018 Written By Benji James

It was here in the meadow
Where I carved your name
Into the old oak tree
And we swam in the Brooke
until our fingers were like prunes
And I saw you smile back my way,
Caught a glimpse of heavenly light
Ooh you're my angel, my life
And I ain't letting go anytime soon.

So I pray to the sky
On this cloudless summer night
Oh star in the sky shining so bright
let me make my wish tonight
So I can hope, I can pray
That she'll always stay
On this shining summers day

It was here in the meadow
Where I held your hand
We laughed till we cried
Talked long into the night
Danced and sang all the songs
That we could think of
And you, You looked at me
With your vibrant gleam in your eyes
And it strikes me like lightning
A feeling so frightening
Is this love, Is it love
I don't know whether I can
Keep us together,
but I hope to god this never ends.

So I pray to the sky
On this cloudless summer night
Oh star in the sky shining so bright
let me make my wish tonight
So I can hope, I can pray
That she'll always stay
On this shining summers day

And it was only the beginning
thought she was going to be with me
For the rest of time
But all good things must come
to an end eventually
Even though we hoped that it wouldn't be us.
So here is what is going on just listen,
Listen to my song.

It was on a rainy day I watched her walk,
Walk away, Away from me.
Through the window of my house
Watching from my couch
Trying to figure out what went wrong,
Wrong with you and me
It's not clear why you left me stranded
And I don't feel any better
that you're gone, gone away from me.
I need you here
So I can hold you near
While I run my fingers through your hair
And show you sweet tender loving care

So I pray to the sky
On this cloudless summer night
Oh star in the sky shining so bright
let me make my wish tonight
So I can hope, I can pray
That she'll come back to me
On this shining summers day

So we can be here in the meadow
Where I held your hand
We laughed till we cried
Talked long into the night
Danced and sang all the songs
That we could think of
And you, You looked at me
With your vibrant gleam in your eyes
And it strikes me like lightning
A feeling so frightening
Is this love, Is it love
I don't know whether I can
Keep us together
but I hope to god this never ends.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Feel the heat building up inside
Steam is rising from my soul
Sweaty palms and underarms
People telling me, remain calm
I'm shaking, to break this spirit free
No one can hold me down
Don't try to stop me now
You'll never shut my mouth
Gonna take more than a bullet to take me out
You can throw me in the middle of the ocean
I refuse to drown
As this earth rotates
I push against the grain
Drenched in blood
Found strength in my pain
Now you'll see the crown I came to claim

I was underestimated
I've been underrated
This is my statement
Printed in my pages
I've been underrated
Under sedation
Locked in nightmares
Trying to find acceptance
Through somebody else's eyes
Instead of seeing perfection through mine

Doesn't it make you sick to your stomach
The feeling that we get
When we don't feel that we are getting our dues
and we've paid prices with priceless items
Laid it all on the line
In this battle of life
Hearts on our sleeve
And through the ink, I've bled
Still didn't end up dead
Sleepless nights in bed
Pen in hand
Experience my life through my writes
Through my stories, You take walks in my shoes
Fate chose me, So I chose it too
And that's how it lead me to you

I was underestimated
I've been underrated
This is my statement
Printed in my pages
I've been underrated
Under sedation
Locked in nightmares
Trying to find acceptance
Through somebody else's eyes
Instead of seeing perfection through mine

Power through perception
life lessons through direction
Emotions through connection
Love through detection
Minds were blown through comprehension
I found peace in this eternal mind
I now know that I am all that I need to be
Now I see I just need to be me
Just relax and rest at ease
They'll take you as you are
Flaws and all
Just breathe
and let them see

I was underestimated
I've been underrated
This is my statement
Printed in my pages
I've been underrated
Under sedation
Locked in nightmares
Trying to find acceptance
Through somebody else's eyes
Instead of seeing perfection through mine

©2018 Written By Benji James

I’m immortal
Through the things
That I write
I’m still shining bright,
Through my eternal light
And nothing can **** me now
Always going to be around
Just turn up the volume
You’ll hear my sound
Guess what, I’m on my grind now
Feel the ground fall out
From beneath your feet
I’m upside down
Feet planted firmly on the ground
Filling up the sky
With a brand new high

Get these ideas out of my head
You’ll see the imagery
Through each stroke of my pen
You got the signal
Just tell me when
You’re starting to feel the static
Electrified by my internal sparks
That’s the thing
that’s brought me this far
It’s taken me further
then any jet, train or car
Yeah take a good look
Cuz I just set the bar

Nobody anticipated
I could bring a whole new game
One beyond my lyrical fame
Gave the world a brand new taste
Made them note my name
Through these words
They got a whole new me
Finally, I could be taken seriously
Far from the jokes
That used to cover up my scars
They got a whole new glimpse
Into who I am
And that’s how I became more than I am
That’s how I surpassed just being a mortal man

Surprised by my godly glow
Found confidence in my flow
I planted the seed and watched it grow
Now I’ve formed a brand new home
Set the foundations
Followed through on highly regarded
Recommendations
And built a castle out of stones
These blisters on my hand's show
I sacrificed a lot to make it here
The blood that I shed
And every tear
Gave me the motivation
To create a whole new view
And from the tops of the tower
I can see a brand new world
One carved from deep within me

Get these ideas out of my head
You’ll see the imagery
Through each stroke of my pen
You got the signal
Just tell me when
You’re starting to feel the static
Electrified by my internal sparks
That’s the thing
that’s brought me this far
It’s taken me further
then any jet, train or car
Yeah take a good look
Cuz I just set the bar

Nobody anticipated
I could bring a whole new game
One beyond my lyrical fame
Gave the world a brand new taste
Made them note my name
Through these words
They got a whole new me
Finally, I could be taken seriously
Far from the jokes
That used to cover up my scars
They got a whole new glimpse
Into who I am
And that’s how I became more than I am
That’s how I surpassed just being a mortal man

Angels with harps
Sitting on clouds
Here the choirs sing out
Through orchestral music
My theme rings out
Do you hear me now?
Dream it loud
Working with all that I’ve got
And now I know that what I had
Was enough to create a brand new love
Passion and desire run through my brain wire
A whole lot of heart within these beats
Hear it play throughout these streets
This time I’m here for keeps
Won’t let them down
I’m standing proud
Set firmly on the hallowed ground
My spirit bound
Come set foot in my church now

Get these ideas out of my head
You’ll see the imagery
Through each stroke of my pen
You got the signal
Just tell me when
You’re starting to feel the static
Electrified by my internal sparks
That’s the thing
that’s brought me this far
It’s taken me further
then any jet, train or car
Yeah take a good look
Cuz I just set the bar

Nobody anticipated
I could bring a whole new game
One beyond my lyrical fame
Gave the world a brand new taste
Made them note my name
Through these words
They got a whole new me
Finally, I could be taken seriously
Far from the jokes
That used to cover up my scars
They got a whole new glimpse
Into who I am
And that’s how I became more than I am
That’s how I surpassed just being a mortal man

I’m immortal through all that I wrote
Just had to let y’all know
My lights shining bright
Through this eternal light
I’ll fly through starry skies
While I leave my readers starry-eyed

©2018 Written By Benji James

You should look beyond the surface
Dig a little deeper
You’ll see it's worth it
You shouldn't believe that you’re worthless
The hurt, the hate, the lies, the break
All the scars damaging your heart
The strings, the ties, bound and chained
Nobody should be left to feel this way
I haven't given enough blood
They thought that I was done
They thought this was all too much
Nah I'm coming back with a vengeance
This time I'm even more reckless
No rest for the restless
They’re all going down tonight
Yeah I'm ready for the fight
I'm ready to turn the tide
My war on hate is waged
No time left to play
This time I got game
And I’m not going to fade away.

Went through so much together
Until you hurt me so much
Had to leave you
Before there was nothing left of us
Day by day, things got worse
Friendzoned from mistakes I made
Not saying I didn't deserve it, still hurts
Can't say, you aren't always on my mind
Everything that could have been
Now a distant memory
Didn't want me in all the ways I wanted you
After everything I said
After all the assumptions that ****** with my head
Even after all of that, Even after hitting rock bottom
Still, want you, Still, need you
I was better when I was with you

Even after all the ways
you broke my heart
I'm still in love with you
You're everything I see
You're everything I dreamed
Even after all the ways
You shattered my soul
I'm still in love with you
And I hope you understand
I still want to be your man
I still want you to be my world
I still want you to be my girl

And maybe this all falls on deaf ears
And maybe you'll never read this
Put it in a letter, just so you know
All that you mean to me
Maybe one day, you will see
I was sincere in these words I wrote
Maybe one day, you will see
You should have been with me
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you
There's no distance that could stop me
From making it to you
Even if you're sent to heaven
I'll follow you there
Hell couldn't hold me back
If I was what you wanted
I'd be there
With you is where I want to be

Even after all the ways
you broke my heart
I'm still in love with you
You're everything I see
You're everything I dreamed
Even after all the ways
You shattered my soul
I'm still in love with you
And I hope you understand
I still want to be your man
I still want you to be my world
I still want you to be my girl

And I'll never live down
The hurt that I caused
And I was stupid
For letting go
Of the one girl, I truly loved
And they said to have faith in gods plans
But I questioned his plans
With the way we ended
All I'm left with now is what ifs
and a longing for your touch and kiss
And I hunger for your graceful gaze
And the way you light up my face
I miss us and the way we talked
I miss everything we were
But most of all I miss you

Even after all the ways
you broke my heart
I'm still in love with you
You're everything I see
You're everything I dreamed
Even after all the ways
You shattered my soul
I'm still in love with you
And I hope you understand
I still want to be your man
I still want you to be my world
I still want you to be my girl

©2018 Written By Benji James

Hey, hey, been racking my brain
Thinking of something to say
about my confusing sexuality
Sorry for leaving you guessing
because not figuring it out
gets kind of depressing
Am I right, or am I right
Not sure I can't decide
Don't think I'm Bi
All of this thinking
Is hurting my head
So let me put it this way instead...

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I

And my Pornhub search is very extensive
Lucky I'm not a subscriber,
that would probably be expensive
Premium's what you need, Nah not me
I like it like I like my women, free.
And this attitudes why you aren't getting any
Sorry just a guy with a little decency
Can you hear me on my ***** frequency
And imagery plays in sequence
And ****** thoughts become more frequent
I'm a bad, bad, bad boy
And lately, all these ****** references are flying out my mouth
Better get the soap and wash it out

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I

All these ****** jokes
Got my colleagues rolling there eyes
Just kidding, they're laughing on the floor
With this little creeper
It's all right girl, I won't hassle ya
So you can hustle my heart
break it, so I can turn it into art
Think I just set a new bar
A new record has been set
Not sure, I'll ever top it
Just like I can't get on top of anyone
That's why I'm left singing
Not pretty enough
And if you got that reference
I salute you
Don't laugh, because it's true

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I

I'm hungrier than you
I'll take all the cake
and eat that too
I'm fat with, passion
You can bet your ***
on that one
Read that one in a caption
If you can't accept my truths
Then you can't accept who I am to
So just dig yourself a grave
and lay in it
Don't want your opinions
I'll just bin it
Comfortable in this skin
I've been gifted
You can cover me with labels
But I'm stable on this one-legged table

There have been so many times
I've questioned the choices
I've made in this life
Nothing can be changed
I'm here in this sitch
From foiled plans
I was on my stomach
crawling through a wasteland
I found strength through the fall
Now I stand,
Yeah, I'm marked, Yeah, I'm scarred
I'm standing, changing my branding
New thoughts through clear minded eyes

Never too late to refresh the page
Start a new story in this franchised novel
A brand new book, Blank page, clean slate
It's alright, never too late
No matter what age
Never too late for change
Slow down, taking a new pace
take your time to set the stage
The spotlights there, when you're ready
There will be a time and chance
for you to ignite these skies
and blow everybody's minds

Mind says you want your keep
well you better earn it
It's better if you just learn that
sooner then later
You'll come to understand
sometimes moments framed in your mind
don't come to fruition
It's all about not giving in
Doesn't mean you can't do it
Just means that's not the way
you went meant to make it
So for new chances just create it
Keep on shooting
eventually, something sticks

There have been so many times
I've questioned the choices
I've made in this life
Nothing can be changed
I'm here in this sitch
From foiled plans
I was on my stomach
crawling through a wasteland
I found strength through the fall
Now I stand,
Yeah, I'm marked, Yeah, I'm scarred
I'm standing, changing my branding
New thoughts through clear minded eyes

Never too late to refresh the page
Start a new story in this franchised novel
A brand new book, Blank page, clean slate
It's alright, never too late
No matter what age
Never too late for change
Slow down, taking a new pace
take your time to set the stage
The spotlights there, when you're ready
There will be a time and chance
for you to ignite these skies
and blow everybody's minds

Ever feel like you've wasted a decade
of your life
Those were thoughts that entered my head
Until the realisation
It was just training
For me to be prepared
The rewards are there to reap
Just gotta keep trying ideas
until something hits
explode into imagination
There's no destination
You can't reach
When you put all your focus
Into what you want
You're gonna achieve it
Don't let anybody tell you
That you'll never do it
They'll be the ones that look dumb
When you reach it.

There have been so many times
I've questioned the choices
I've made in this life
Nothing can be changed
I'm here in this sitch
From foiled plans
I was on my stomach
crawling through a wasteland
I found strength through the fall
Now I stand,
Yeah, I'm marked, Yeah, I'm scarred
I'm standing, changing my branding
New thoughts through clear minded eyes

Never too late to refresh the page
Start a new story in this franchised novel
A brand new book, Blank page, clean slate
It's alright, never too late
No matter what age
Never too late for change
Slow down, taking a new pace
take your time to set the stage
The spotlights there, when you're ready
There will be a time and chance
for you to ignite these skies
and blow everybody's minds

©2018 Written By Benji James

Winds whisper through shaking leaves
As dandelions dance around you and me
In the autumn breeze
My hearts an open ocean
Yeah, you’ll see,
like waves caress the sand
We’re connected hand in hand
With you, that is where I stand
I’m proud to be called your man
Sunset skies reflected in your eyes
I’ve been falling for you
Baby, I’ve fallen for you
Her soul is beaming through
I feel the chemistry build up inside

Sensations tingle from deep within
Just like air need to breathe you in
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Fill me with hope, fill me with strength
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in
Fill me with passion, fill me with love
I’ve got you girl, and that is enough
Fill me with light, fill me with joy
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in

Gotta song coming on,
Music in my bones
hearts synchronised
to a beat all their own
Just like stars, the nights are ours
Just like rain, you give life to me
You help me grow
You’re the knowledge
I need to know
The power you’re sending
From your magnetic connection
Electrified, re-energised,
vital signs come alive

Sensations tingle from deep within
Just like air need to breathe you in
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Fill me with hope, fill me with strength
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in
Fill me with passion, fill me with love
I’ve got you girl, and that is enough
Fill me with light, fill me with joy
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in

Beauty is found
Wherever you’re around
With style through grace
Your sweet cherry lips taste
The more I get of you
The more I get of us
Gets me hooked like a drug
You’re the bandage on my scars
I admire all that you are
Need you at my side
For the rest of time
I see us forever intertwined
Forever I want you to be mine
I see it in you, I feel it in me
I tell you all the things you need
Together we’re better
This is my never-ending love letter
For you

Sensations tingle from deep within
Just like air need to breathe you in
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Fill me with hope, fill me with strength
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in
Fill me with passion, fill me with love
I’ve got you girl, and that is enough
Fill me with light, fill me with joy
Yeah, girl, you’re my everything
Just like air need to breathe you in

©2018 Written By Benji James

I’m sorry
For all the ways I broke your heart
The way I cut us off
Cuz I was craving somebody else
That went on to hustle my heart
Made some bad decisions in my life
Hey girl, I don’t regret it
All I can say is I’m sorry
For the way I hurt you
You deserve real love
From somebody who can return
the love that you’re giving
All I can say is I’m sorry
From the depths of my soul

Karma got me in the end
I’m more alone than I’ve ever been
And this is what I deserve
For causing all of this hurt
From your pain
There was nothing I could gain
Tried to make the right choices
For the both of us
Never meant to cause this misery
and the resentment you now have against me.

I’m sorry for all the ways
That I have let you down
Don’t expect forgiveness
From you now
I’m still saying sorry
For all the things that I have done
I confess I didn’t mean no harm
But I know all the ways that I broke your spirit
I hope through my lyrics
You will see I didn’t really mean it
To end in this way, had to leave you
When I seen you couldn’t even speak to me
No hard feelings darling.

Karma got me in the end
I’m more alone than I’ve ever been
And this is what I deserve
For causing all of this hurt
From your pain
There was nothing I could gain
Tried to make the right choices
For the both of us
Never meant to cause this misery
and the resentment you now have against me.

Sorry for all those words
That would have stung
When I told you I wasn’t in love
With you, the way I was in love with her
Was one of the hardest things
I’ve ever done
Had to follow my heart
Wanted to be with the one I truely loved
And that meant letting you down
I know I failed your trust
I know things will never be the same
And you have every reason
To be angry at me
For the love that you truely felt deep inside
And I cut in deep, like a knife
When I told you,
I couldn’t see you
As the significant other in my life
And I’m okay, I’m doing alright
Hope you found happiness
Hope you found love
All I can say is sorry
From the bottom of my heart

Karma got me in the end
I’m more alone than I’ve ever been
And this is what I deserve
For causing all of this hurt
From your pain
There was nothing I could gain
Tried to make the right choices
For the both of us
Never meant to cause this misery
and the resentment you now have against me.

©2018 Written By Benji James

What’s this feeling, you’re stealing
I know why you’re heavy breathing
It’s from all this ****** teasing
I know why I’ve got you screaming
It’s from the ****** I’m giving
Let your body rock with me
Talk to me baby
With your hips and the way they work
Take my breath away
With the way you ****
And I can’t help but feel flushed
The way you’re making my heart rush
Don’t stop now, can’t get enough

Take it to the floor oh oh
Too hot to control oh no
Working me out
In all the right ways
All these vibes
Make me feel like
I wanna go all night
Take it to the bed oh yes
Between these sheets
We can drown
In a passionate sea
Love flowing through
You and me chemically

Girls in stilettos oh, oh
Dress around her waist
Every inch of skin a new taste
Not a moment goes to waste
Pleasuring you, that’s my place
Lips on lips, face to face
Don’t want to escape
Your eyes gaze
Take me to outta space
With your loving
I’m something you crave to take
And you’re the drug I need
To fix this addiction
Yeah get the stress out of my system
Like that cheeky smile, you’re giving

Take it to the floor oh oh
Too hot to control oh no
Working me out
In all the right ways
All these vibes
Make me feel like
I wanna go all night
Take it to the bed oh yes
Between these sheets
We can drown
In a passionate sea
Love flowing through
You and me chemically

It’s getting steamy
Sugar rush is high
Take it to the table
Take it to the couch
I’ll take you anywhere
You want to do it, babe
I need all of you
Yeah you hear what I’m saying
No games here, not playing
All of you is all I want
So baby give me
All that you’ve got
Too much is never enough
Keep it coming, girl
You’re fire, I like the scent
There is no regret
I like the way our time gets spent
Yeah you get me off
In all the ways you know how
And that’s why I’m climaxing now

Take it to the floor oh oh
Too hot to control oh no
Working me out
In all the right ways
All these vibes
Make me feel like
I wanna go all night
Take it to the bed oh yes
Between these sheets
We can drown
In a passionate sea
Love flowing through
You and me chemically

©2018 Written By Benji James

2017 was a ***** of a year
Let go of everyone that I held dear
Wasn’t about to play second best
Did the right thing, oh yes
Had no time for the ones
That had no time for me
And I detect a hint of resentment
Yeah I wasn’t about to pretend
Of the ignorance that seemed
To be thrown my way

It’s alright
Better off without them
No need for regrets
What I did was for the best
Confident in those decisions
I must confess
No negativity in my life now I guess
But now I feel alone
That’s okay, I guess that is how it goes
This is just the life I’ve come to know

So much hurting, now a distant memory
Now I look around and all I feel is empty
Nobody left in sight
Removed everybody from my life
Was it all out of jealousy
Cuz they never seemed to have time for me
All I have left are shadows on my wall
Reflections in the mirror
Looking back at me
Is this how it feels to truely be lonely
It’s alright, I made that choice
Chose to listen to that inner voice
Whether it was right or wrong
I made my decisions
Now everyone I knew, they’re gone

It’s alright
Better off without them
No need for regrets
What I did was for the best
Confident in those decisions
I must confess
No negativity in my life now I guess
But now I feel alone
That’s okay, I guess that is how it goes
This is just the life I’ve come to know

Had a lot of time to reflect
Had a lot of time to listen
To all these inner thoughts
And I’ve got a brand new year
To turn all this around
Gotta get back out
I’m amongst the crowd
Find somebody new
Who makes the efforts
That I make for them
I know there out there
I’ll find them, I know I can

It’s alright
Better off without them
No need for regrets
What I did was for the best
Confident in those decisions
I must confess
No negativity in my life now I guess
But now I feel alone
That’s okay, I guess that is how it goes
This is just the life I’ve come to know

©2018 Written By Benji James

Is it just me, or is the talent on here getting better and better?

She's staring out of her window
as the cars roll by
Thoughts in her head
thinks she is better off dead
Nothing further from the truth
Girl come on get your chin up
There's more to you than meets the eye
Forget what all the haters say
Forget about impressing that guy
True beauty comes from within
Through your actions
and your heart

Girl you've got a confidence
Girl you just shine
Don't listen to what
those haters say
Get ready to blow some minds
You've got style
With a whole lot of grace
Essence oozing out your soul
You tried laying your heart down girl
You put it all on the line
But now you've got a world to grasp
A mark to make, with every smile you take
To be encrypted into the stars of the night
for the rest of time

Hey girl, don't get broken hearted
Down on your luck
Cuz you ain't out of this race
With a little positivity, you can change
Your whole mindset
Get those negative feeling
out of your head
You've got the mic
You've got the thrown
You've got the spotlight
Girl, don't you know.
Don't carry all this weight on your shoulders
Leave it on the floor
Set yourself free,
Come on girl and just soar

Girl you've got a confidence
Girl you just shine
Don't listen to what
those haters say
Get ready to blow some minds
You've got style
With a whole lot of grace
Essence oozing out your soul
You tried laying your heart down girl
You put it all on the line
But now you've got a world to grasp
A mark to make, with every smile you take
To be encrypted into the stars of the night
for the rest of time

You've been bathing in pools of doubt
Girl, I am here to pull you back out
So if you are feeling down in misery
Don't hold it in and leave it a mystery
Sometimes you've got to just strut
Just don't give a ****
forget about the make up
Natural face, sweatpants
Don't need the leather or lace
You're beautiful, just as you are
Let in a little light
That can carry you far

Girl you've got a confidence
Girl you just shine
Don't listen to what
those haters say
Get ready to blow some minds
You've got style
With a whole lot of grace
Essence oozing out your soul
You tried laying your heart down girl
You put it all on the line
But now you've got a world to grasp
A mark to make, with every smile you take
To be encrypted into the stars of the night
for the rest of time

Boy says you ain't special
Forget em
Boy think his got you
right where he wants you
Gives you all of these lame lines
You've seen this **** like a billion times
Can't help but sit back and roll your eyes
He thinks he can just cut you off
in the middle of a conversation
He thinks your whole world
should revolve around him
But girl, Don't let him
"You wanna know why?
Alright, alright...
I'll tell you why."

Girl you've got a confidence
Girl you just shine
Don't listen to what
those haters say
Get ready to blow some minds
You've got style
With a whole lot of grace
Essence oozing out your soul
You tried laying your heart down girl
You put it all on the line
But now you've got a world to grasp
A mark to make, with every smile you take
To be encrypted into the stars of the night
for the rest of time

©2018 Written By Benji James

As words dance around my head
I find new meanings again
A rebirth?
A resurrection?
Something tingles through my toes
Working its way through the streams of my blood
Ink pours out of my finger
Splashing the page with vibrant colours
Shapes start to form
trying to will all my power and gain focus
Something flashes before these eyes
A world rotating in slow motion
Pictures covered in black and white
Splotches of colour start to melt in
Like rain hitting the ground
I feel a warmth the likes I haven't felt since I was a child
A youthful feeling
One full of imagination and wonder...
A sound gently lingers in the background
It's soft yet calm
It's kind of soothing
A vibe slowly swaying my body
A rhythm that life slowly bounces to
I hear soft synths and quiet humming
a memory slowly unfolding itself
Pixelated pictures start fading into clarity
This soul feels new, vocal, bold
Is this confidence?
is this knowledge?
This is just poetry in motion.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Sometimes my insecurities
would get a hold of me
Now I'm starting to see the best
within myself and I know
that this curse is a gift
I still have a whole lot of life
left to live
and I know which path I need to take
I might be alone for a long time
I still have a long way to go
And I know in time
I'll find the one for me

Everyone has seen through me
But I am starting to believe
There is a whole lot more to me
And nobody can take away
this feeling that's taken me higher
my heart is still full of desire

I've been given a gift
to cherish and share
It's been a rough start
But I'll get there
and you may think
that you can bring me down
I've already been pushed and tossed
into the ground
so maybe, maybe
you should just take me as I am

Guardian angel where have you been?
I've been sitting and staring
Thinking I'll never win
Now that you're here
You're picking me up
Fixing me up
rebandaging this broken heart
and maybe my luck is changing
maybe I can make it
because I've been waiting
Maybe I can make it

Everyone has seen through me
But I am starting to believe
There is a whole lot more to me
And nobody can take away
this feeling that's taken me higher
my heart is still full of desire

I've been given a gift
to cherish and share
It's been a rough start
But I'll get there
and you may think
that you can bring me down
I've already been pushed and tossed
into the ground
so maybe, maybe
you should just take me as I am

Take me as I am
Let me shine
One last time
Before the light dies out
For the last time
Let my gift
Light up the night
And I'll share this
with you for all time

Everyone has seen through me
But I am starting to believe
There is a whole lot more to me
And nobody can take away
this feeling that's taken me higher
my heart is still full of desire

I've been given a gift
to cherish and share
It's been a rough start
But I'll get there
and you may think
that you can bring me down
I've already been pushed and tossed
into the ground
so maybe, maybe
you should just take me as I am

©2018 Written By Benji James

I have something
I need to get off my chest
and this is the way
I know I can bring it out best

Two thousand and eleven
was supposed to be my year
that's when you left me for him
and you thought everything we had
was just gonna be another fling
Girl, I don't play people
It's not my thing
I almost made the mistake
of letting you go
I could have left you in the dust
and moved on through this life
When the message I sent you
said I needed time to sought myself out
You replied with, Why? and laughed
I thought about every single word
put so much thought and effort
into every line, I said and sent you
They were the longest messages
I'd ever sent anyone
I'm not sure you gave a ****
Not sure you even care

I don't know
What I'm doing back
in the studio
Trying to make this song for you
So you see, feel what's going on
deep inside of me, what's been yearning
to be set free
and you didn't think I could communicate
like this, I'm full of surprises
What else can I say, so take the chance
allow me to explain
everything that's going on
deep inside of me

Uh, he acts like he owns your heart
But he doesn't know much about the art of love
And I'm not gonna let him
Tear what we have left apart
I'd fight for you, Die for you
I'd fight for everything we have left
so if you want this, you'd better start
showing me a little more interest
If you want me to stay
better say something
this is getting ridiculous
Can't read your mind, every single time
I'm tired of chasing, playing silly games
Girl, am I some sought of back up plan?
I need a little more respect
If you want me to invest
All this love I have for you
I'm taking a little more control
So if you don't want me anymore
Say something, so I can let go.

I don't know
What I'm doing back
in the studio
Trying to make this song for you
So you see, feel what's going on
deep inside of me, what's been yearning
to be set free
and you didn't think I could communicate
like this, I'm full of surprises
What else can I say, so take the chance
allow me to explain
everything that's going on
deep inside of me

I'm not some sought of hypocrite
Believing in every feeling that you're giving
So you better slow it down
Explain to me what you want to do now
Can't read your mind honey
Sometimes I need a little direction
I don't have the power of perception
stop playing me like a fool
Can't fight for someone
When they don't want to be fought for
What's the point of giving my all
To somebody that doesn't want me around no more
So show me a sign, that you want me around
I ain't playing second so I can be your rebound
someone you can bounce back off
so that you still feel wanted
because baby, I'm not somebody
you can just take for granted
I'll go and give another girl a chance
Because my hearts just not something
I'm willing to break again
Especially when you couldn't even give me a chance
To prove I had what it takes to be your man.

I don't know
What I'm doing back
in the studio
Trying to make this song for you
So you see, feel what's going on
deep inside of me, what's been yearning
to be set free
and you didn't think I could communicate
like this, I'm full of surprises
What else can I say, so take the chance
allow me to explain
everything that's going on
deep inside of me

©2018 Written By Benji James

I'm here in Brisbane city
There are people passing by
I'm staring at the ceiling
I'm getting high on the drugs
Need another cigarette
to calm my nerves
The girls are putting on a show
here in Brisbane city
silhouettes of innocence
portrayed in plays on Broadway
there is so much left for me to say

These dead-end streets
are leading nowhere
Familiar faces in far-off places
My imagination
keeps on creating situations
that's no good for me
I'm supposed to be carefree
But lately, I haven't felt the same
as I used to be.

I want to create a memory
here is Brisbane city
I dialled your number
into my phone
I know you've been hanging on my call
you're a girl with attitude
There are so many things
I want to do with you
here in Brisbane city
Nothing comes easy
I'm learning to survive
with every minute I wait
and every breath I take
I know there's a better way

These dead-end streets
are leading nowhere
Familiar faces in far-off places
My imagination
keeps on creating situations
that's no good for me
I'm supposed to be carefree
But lately, I haven't felt the same
as I used to be.

I want to bear the mark of you
You can see the part of me
hidden under my tattoos
it ain't a pretty sight
when I breakdown (alright)
I didn't want you to see me cry
here in Brisbane city
There are so many things in this world
You've learned a million signs
about reading between the lines
and every time I looked into her eyes
I didn't think to see the signs
that you needed me in your life (alright)

These dead-end streets
are leading nowhere
Familiar faces in far-off places
My imagination
keeps on creating situations
that's no good for me
I'm supposed to be carefree
But lately, I haven't felt the same
as I used to be.

Now I'm sitting in an empty house
in Brisbane city
And I know where I went wrong
But I can't stand this feeling
of being alone (alone)
I can't stand this feeling
of being alone
And I know where I went wrong
But I'm sick of being alone
And I won't move on
You shouldn't leave me on my own
here in Brisbane city
Cakk you up to come around
so I'm not alone in this empty house
in Brisbane city

These dead-end streets
are leading nowhere
Familiar faces in far-off places
My imagination
keeps on creating situations
that's no good for me
I'm supposed to be carefree
But lately, I haven't felt the same
as I used to be.

The spotlight comes on
As I start singing into this microphone
The crowd starts to go wild
I'm drunk
Here in Brisbane city
and girl your wrong for all the right reasons
nobody has to be alone tonight
Because I need you all in my life
here in Brisbane city
Everyone starts singing along with me
here in Brisbane city
silhouettes of innocence
portrayed in plays on Broadway
there is nothing left for me to say
In Brisbane city
Here in Brisbane city

©2018 Written By Benji James