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Bohemian Oct 7
^_^
https://bleedandbreathe.blogspot.com/2019/09/menwhadya-say.html
Sunflower Oct 5
The darkness of my room,
reflects the darkness of my soul,
tears keep falling
which I can't control.

the blades are my allies,
but it won't suffice.
I just want a quick way to end this,
I just to want to be in peace.
I wanted the feeling of ease.

............I just want
I just want this suffering.......to end.
R Sep 2
I used to think the cause of the loss of my writing ability is because I am happy, which will be highly doubtful, or I am empty, that I don't feel anything, leaving nothing to write, leaving the words soulless.

Now it has come to a realization that the cause of it is because; I don't let myself to feel.

I buried my sadness in silence, in nonexistent boxes of shadows and slowly, painfully, I'm getting used to it. To not acknowledging my feelings, to think they're *******, that my sadness is useless, and I shouldn't feel that way.

And when it gets too overwhelming, too suffocating, I don't know where to go. I ran out of boxes, they couldn't take it anymore. I don't know where to go, and when I try to pen the sadness down, the papers sound as if they're mad at me, as if they refuse to listen. No words coming out, it's left blankly and I thought it's because words will not do justice to the feelings I endure, turns out it's because I unknowingly **** my own healing.

As I'm in the process to have it back, most of it ends to no avail. I want to write again. I want to write again, for myself, for my own sanity, for you, for the world.
Penmann Jun 10
I will not be at your wedding.
Have to wish you two all the best.
I just can't come.
i guess i used to
love you far too much
to give a **** now.
Inspired by you.
Amtul Hajra May 17
It must hurt
To finally know,
What i contained.
-All the time that i thought you'll comprehend.-

You ask for forgiveness
from the paleness
that you've caused
and ofcourse you wouldn't know
as we were paused.

We're in flames of carmine,
Watching our souls untwine.
And a woeful combat
Between both
Of our demons,
Detached.

It must surely trigger,
Realising: the damages get bigger.
and I was a beautiful cave
for which you were allowed to pave in, your own path.

You dab,
An amount of prestige
Onto your personality.
Splashing all the,
Insignificance over my
Unattended morality.

I've taken too,
Too much of heart;
Too much of soul.
As i give up blood,
I'm musing over you
(Maybe) a last time.

I must alter my actions,
And turn them to you.
now that we're done
I let you live as a slave
cause the ashes that are deep buried,
the flames that burn with screams
often unheard
may seem to be easily blown off
but it won't
it's wrath.

Lastly here i am,
Reconciling my words to you;
Putting them together
In and out of place.
The last breath i take (in your name):
Your honor, i rest my case.
Amtul Hajra May 17
One year later, I'm still where you left me.
Tired, undone and unfinished.
Untangling the knots
Of disappointment.

Two years later, I'm halfway there,
Still holding on,
To the promises you made.
Nearly forgetting,
You were never there.

Three years gone,
There's love for me to feed on.
Roughly recollecting the sense
Of your touch.

Four years lost,
There's so much I've gained.
Strength and happiness,
Unduly maintained.

Five years remained,
I've lost count now.

Too busy enumerating,
Favours of people
Who've loved me,
helped me,
And embraced me.

Tell me,
What won?
What gave in?
Read into words
Read into thoughts
And then read in my eyes
All of them form
A dance of its own
Hard it is to open
Afterwards,
Hard it is to close
You have to choose,
Shall I disclose ?
Once you enter
Shallow it is found
Lost in the woods
But you'll never find me.
A sweet wine
like it taste.
Moments all fine
nothing to waste.

Humming of a bird
in noise of despair.
No time till it fade
More I aspire.

An album in mind
which brings a smile.
Forever it bind
Not opened for a while.

Gather it more
Put in the core.
Because you'll find,
nothing more.
A smile that makes me wonder
In my heart a thunder
Connection of string
closer it may bring
Flow of my life,
turned towards, afterlife !
Thoughts stopped in a doom
All I could see is you in a fume.
A new color of me is open
A new version of me has dopen.
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