I’ve seen shooting stars,
Their, bodies, burning undesired
Thrown away
Like banished tears
From the dark pupil of the sky
I’ve been holding the hand of
A decade worth of dreams undone forever
So they could achieve dreams of their own
Before my gaze
I’ve held their ghosts in my arms
I’ve been standing at a full “I mustn’t” worth of distance
From their lips
I’ve been filling in vain, the bottomless glasses
Of the most beautiful words,
That spring from the electric spark
Beneath the ribs
I’ve been leading the guerilla squads
Of my beliefs
Against the empire of Impossibility,
And its most decorated generals: Doubt,
Insufficiency, Wrong…
I’ve lied face-down, hands tied behind my back
For that traitor, Restraint…
But now… I forgive him now…
And now, Empires fall on their own
Now those dreams unachieved,
Meticulously paint their eyes
Wrinkled from the salty trickles,
That realization has drawn towards me
For I’ve always known that…
Loving is now or never
You cannot wrap it in tinfoil
And freeze it for later
Yet, they, those morally unattained, chastely righteous dreams,
They do arrive at Knowledge station
Aboard the Intuit train,
Atop the tracks of true common sense,
Alas, too late.
My loving is given now
To Fulfillment,
For it chose now to never
And caressed my scars of restraint
With warm fingertips
And kissed my see-through “I mustn’t” from the other side of the wall
To melt away the distance to my bloodless lips
*

*This one, I wrote first in my native language. Here is the original in Bulgarian:

Защо нямам съжаления...

Гледал съм падащи звезди
как горят снага непожелани
Изхвърлени
като прогонени сълзи
от тъмната зеница на небето
държал съм за ръка
десетилетие мечти
завинаги несбъднати
докато те постигат своите
пред взора ми
прегръщал съм призраците им
стоял съм на едно “не бива” разстояние от устните им
пълнил съм напусто чашите бездънни
на най-красивите думи
извиращи от искрата електрическа
иззад ребрата
водил съм партизанските отряди
на вярата си
срещу империя Невъзможност,
именитите й генерали: Съмнение,
Недостатъчност, Нередност...
лежал съм по очи с ръце закопчани
зад гърба ми
заради предателя Въздържание…
Но сега… сега му прощавам.
Сега империите падат сами.
Сега несбъднатите мечти
гримират старателно очи
набраздени от солените струйчици,
които осъзнаването е изтеглило
заради мен…
Защото винаги съм знаел, че…
Обичането е сега или никога…
не можеш да го завиеш в станиол
“за после” във хладилника…
Но те, морално несбъднатите, целомъдрено праведните мечти…
Пристигат до гара Знание
с влак Усещане по коловози
истински здрав разум…
Прекалено късно.
Обичането ми вече е дадено
на Сбъдването…
Което избра сега пред никога
И погали белезите ми на въздържание
с връхчетата на топли пръсти.
И целуна прозрачното “не бива” от своята страна на стената, за да стопи
разстоянието до посинелите ми устни
Frank Sherwood Nov 2017

Wasn't too likely,
You missed me nightly,
But the drug drip makes memories appear.

Road lines, coerce the mind
I was believing in something,
Still smell the same, your wet lips on my cheek reminded me of the good days.

When I was yours and you were mine.
Second chances aren't easy,
Guess it's you I have to define.

Guess the saying is true, they always come back.

The art of Conversation = a source of emancipation,
and oral gratification per integration of knowledge
manifesting opportunity qua
sharing unconscious workings 
   Vis a Vis windows to the soul

whereby a quickened pace arises to latch onto this role
i.e. as a conversant fellow, who at LVII years old does poll
the fleeting decades of his existence 
manning reminiscence for ole
flashing back to days of mine childhood's end - 

   When last verse of noel
will be writ when father time 
   dost take me underground akin to a mole
or perhaps cremation will deliver 
   mine ashes along a rib-rocked knoll
of this then once living garden-variety hominid - 

   whose mindfulness endowed
Introspection, his biological ticket tape 
 eventual fated halt to life 
   taken far from the madding crowd

whereby cosmic consciousness reigns supreme 
   lording eminence grise of this beetle browed
chap. hoop fully countless decades still abound 
   for me to relish what would be legally allowed

reaching out to family since no value found as de cries
the ever rapid stealth of living, yet before my demise
this sensate being, with these ears and eyes
reckons he cannot halt like greased lightening
   how tempus fugit with lord of the flies

tempting to whisk me away while mortality 
   donned in get up as go tell a watchman guise
whence a half-century prior to kill a mockingbird 
   deigned as main entree, now i got a bone to pick and pries
as much longevity and stave off grim reaper 
   before permanent slumber doth ah rise!

You are           ...sleeping.
And I am awake.
Smoking cigarettes on porch
and the curb
and underneath the leaves of this foreign place as familiar as our bed.

(Our bed ?

Perhaps. )

As you sleep,
Breathing heavily, soundly,
contorted into dissociation
Blankets wound around your body
        -That I don't dare touch;
I breathe so slowly, so so

S
  L
    O
      W
         L
           Y

[ S
T
A
R
I
N
G
    at the wall ]

And speak to myself in the voice no one will ever hear
with the intensity of red
and the pace of INDIGO
INDIGO of the wall outside your flat
INDIGO of the sloshing acid of my stomach
INDIGO of the synapses pulsing electricity past my neurons to the unreceptive brain matter that lies beneath your skull  

Indigo indigo indigo

Ind(i•go)
(In)•digo
I•{ndigo}

(Witching hour approaches)

And I approach nothing
                      Nothing nothing nothing
Approaches me
Invades me
And I ask.               {Please}
But my eyes evade me, speaking distance
Across the span of OUR bed

¿Ours?

With the dawn virga of
pink light in the window,
The heat of your hands tenderly apologizes

And in the morning
You kiss me
Exhaling dreary carbon dioxide into my mouth
Stale alcohol meandering past our teeth,
Settling in the air between our tongues.

Akshad Oct 2017

For the times we go wrong and when we inflict pain...
No matter how we change... Apologetic we still remain!!
For once when you fissure a relationship there will be a persistent stain!!
In the long run... Apologetic we remain..
When you are man of your words, but a guy with undone promises... Your image doesn't remain the same...
Even though you start fresh... But within... Apologetic you still remain!
It's all gone now... It has changed!!
The bond has lapsed and grown... But still... Apologetic you remain!
For a tear shed under the dark night... And the ignorant sight... It's not blame game.!
You cut your ego ur pride... But still apologetic we remain....
You often wanna talk it out but you have not words to say...
It's not because of your ego.. But as apologetic we still Remain...
You mess it up... You break a heart... Your actions do things worst than getting parched...
You wanna go undo... You wanna go back in time to ooze out the pain..
But it's too late... Now apologetic we remain...
You thought you are  mighty... Attitude flows in your vein..
But turns out your so feeble... That apologetic we remain...
It has vanished but has left a scar.... For once little it get exposed all your smile dies in vain...
You have your heart out... You have build a trust... But within... Apologetic we remain!!
Apologetic  we remain!!

There is nothing I could ever do.
I could never give enough
To even begin to repay.
I sense the weight of debt paid.

My love and dedication falls short of this
Abundant grace as all the efforts of a world
That gives out of selfishness.

I often live in denial of what I must repay
Though I never could repay.
But the inclination must be there.
I carry the weight of debt paid.

I have learned to acknowledge the debt
And accept that I was debtor
To a weight that would surely have crushed me.

I have learned to freely give back
Of what was freely given to me.
I live under the weight of debt paid.

--Daniel Irwin Tucker

There is a price to pay for every negative action and reaction. This debt can become insurmountable after a while. There is a love which pays this debt in full. But even though grace is unmerited favour, love is not a one way street--you can never be free of responsibility.
When you learn this, you will find that the weight of being forgiven or forgiving, is worlds lighter than this weight of the personal & universal human debt you once owed.  True freedom does not come cheap, but it is so worth it!

I was so much in love with you
That I wanted spend hours
Traversing your naked flesh
Until I could consume  the erotic  elixir
Of  ambrosial fluids
Of your orgasmic core,
But you resisted my advances
Just as the Taliban has resisted
The United States
And the U.S.S.R. .
Your angry rejection of me
Felt   like being shot down
With a rocket propelled grenade.
Your enraged denunciation of me
Caused  me to  feel
As if I was being blown to bits
With an improvised explosive device
When I tried to negotiate with you
In order to recover our love,
You refused all attempts at reconciliation
Until you received
Your baksheesh.

Your love
Forgave
My flaws.
little tiny
Fragments
Of  tears
healed
Our hurts

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