Colorless icicles hang off my hair
That has lost all of it's bounce and sway
Now resting on top my head
Looking like a disarray
Of sauced up spaghetti noodles

Hello Nicole,

Its been a while since I've thought of your name... Today I read a poem that brought tears to my eyes at the thought of you, but I refused to let them fall.

I am alway's being told to forgive you, by clueless friends and family, that you were young and didn't know any better. But hell, you were old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. Plenty old enough to use some basic common sense. Common sense such as

"Dont leave your 2 year old daughter in the car in the summer for hours on end"

"Dont leave your 3 year old daughter at the park overnight"

"Dont bring your 4 year old daughter to the house of your married lover"

"Dont take your 5 year old daughter to a ******* and leave her in the car"

"Dont allow your ******* of a drug dealer to care for your baby girl"

Last year in total you sent me 6 packages, called 8 times, wrote 5 letters, wrote or spoke I Love You 16 times, and yet not once did you apologize. On the 8th call, you told me you were pregnant again, and it was going to be a baby girl. I cried harder than I ever had before on that one phone call. You asked if I was happy that I would get another sister, and as calmly as possible I told you I hope the baby is stronger than all the rest, and to lose my ******* number.

A total of 4 children, 3 of which you don't even see anymore. You allowed us to go through hell and beyond in your care, only to be tossed away into a somehow even more unfortunate lifestyle. Yet you somehow expect me to be happy for your pregnancy of a brand new lifeform.

The baby is now alive and kicking,  and I heard she looks exactly like me even though her father was as Mexican as they come. I also heard you get ****** when people compare me and the baby's looks.
Good.
I hope she is a reminder of what you did to me, so that maybe, just maybe, you treat her right.

I wish I could say I wish you the best in life, but that would be a lie. I do hope you get better, for the sake of everyones lives around you. It was nice not talking to you again.

No longer your's,
Victoria-Rose

Looking at your sleeping figure for the last time
Sprawled across the comfiest couch we have ever slept on
I smile as softly as your snores that barely fill the room
Give your left cheek a swift kiss
As my silent goodbye you'll never know I gave

I slowly tuck the blanket around your hips and chest
Knowing how much you need to be held on to
Then walk out the familiar door I will never see again
Turning off my hurting heart the same way
I am forced to turn that golden, squeaky doorknob closed

Let me explain
I think I'm okay
No I'm not fine
But that's not the same
When I feel like ****
From icing that hit
I take a deep breathe
I know I'll make it
Victorious name
I will beat his game
Im stronger than this
It's only some pain
In just a few year
I can up and leave here
After which time
My future's unclear

But that's okay
I will find a way

I once met a boy
Who disguised as a saint
Trying lure me in
He flawed in his ploy
For there was nothing to taint
I'm made up of sin

No offense to all the females out there
But women confuse me to bits
Paint layers atop faces to disguise yourself
And you overly use terms like 'lit'

Every store I walk into to buy nessesities
A lady's eye catches mine, then glares
I'm not being mean, so what did I do?
Maybe its my overly wavy hair?

They talk about clothes of all different styles
Without fail the price is sky high
I would much rather stick to my thrift store shopping
I like jeans, some shirt, with a tie

I look at other woman compared to myself
Im plain, they are stuffed with beauty
I know Im a woman by my bodies shape
But Im the worst of the woman, you see

Pale green blossoms rise up out of the rich moist dirt, reaching for sunlight

Rivers rage from melting icecapes, racing towards defrosting lakes below

Humming and chirping fills through warming air, nature has music again

Fawns and foals on their new wobbly legs, nibble grasses that have grown green and crisp

Me with my camera, capture life at its peak, the becoming of spring life's began

The worst thing to say
to someone like me,
Is to stop being sad
Is to stop the faking.

I freeze at your speech.
The venom you spit
Burn's deep in my mind.
Your so harshly ignorant!

Injected with doses of isolation
Solitude is where I sojourn
On the edge of the cliff Melancholy
Is where my Destruction was born
Paranoia drowning through my lungs
Hatred drawn across blood-red skies
Agony rained down and into my soul
Being beaten I had found my Demise
So down the road of Misery Lane
Im dragging my feet one-by-one
The land of Peace has been burned down
Depression became the new sun

Tennis shoes pounding
Legs wobbly and weak
Darkness enfolds my figure
As Im bolting down the street
I run and run till I cant no more
Stop as I reach the park by the school
I collapse onto the dewy grass feild
With a slight breeze around me to cool
I lay on my back, look at the gray sky
Hear my blood rushing into my head
I relax my body till Im nearly asleep
In this place where my troubles are dead

Blue orbs of blue
eyes of oceans
eyes of skies
eyes of winter
eyes of ice

Green orbs of green
eyes of grass
eyes of lime
eyes of moss
eyes of thyme

Brown orbs of brown
eyes of chocolate
eyes of rust
eyes of tree-roots
eyes of dust

"Sorry I'm late sir... I ran into a strange man down my street who kept following me and asking to borrow my socks. At first I ignored him but realizing he was following me to school, I stopped to question him. When I asked him why he wanted my socks, he said he wanted to smell their musky scent. I flat out asked this man if he had a foot fettish, and he guffawed telling me he had a smell fettish. I quickly speedwalked away from the freaky man and because my nerves were so jumbled, I forgot to grab a pass in the office."

Finally notices its a female substitue, and looks at classmates to see their mouths hanging open ready to catch flies

"So... I will just sit down now"

You're sorry you say?
Now have pity for me?
I laugh in your face
I know what I see
You've heard of my past
And now you feel bad
But you still used to judge
Used to make me feel sad
Don't come to me acting
Like your sympathies are true
You want to feel better... right?
*I hope guilt consumes you

Swollen eyes of sleep depreieve
With giant black bags underneath
Bright red cheeks huff and puff
Raggedly pained air that I breathe

Tear stains appear on my pillow each night
In dozens of crosshatched lines
But I drudge out of bed to wash them away
So that nobody knows they were mine

From here on out- I refuse to sleep
to be forced into nightmares again
Coffee and lights as my main support
Why should I worry my friends?

My dear poetic friends,
I can no longer bear to lie, there's something I must tell you: I fear I'm going to die.
The other day I got real bored, so down my street I roamed. I ran into a man dressed sharply in black, whose sockets were dark and hollow.
I looked a bit closer at him, to see that his face was a skull. While gasping in shock I took a step back, and he gave me a smirk that was... dull.
He grasped my wrist and held on tight, then shoved his face inches from mine. He clacked his jaw in a robotic way, then whispered 'Its nearly your time'.
The reaper delieved his message quite clear, it seems death is coming for me. This here is my formal funeral invitaions for you.  
I hope you can make it, Vi

Tiny wool mittens
Roughly sculpted my frame
From a flat land of snow
To a girl with no name
2 frosty green peas
Became blurry eyes
Then 10 little craisins
Made a smile so wide
My arms were uneven
One thin and one thick
Many shades of brown
But of the same stick
A mildewed blue hat was
Placed right on my head
Plus a scarf round my neck
That was cardinal red
All my wonderful features
Yet I don't think I'm real
'Cause I'm a girl with no name
Who can not seem to feel

Its quite a funny thing
My darling asked last night
She asked why the sky was pink
In the summers warm sky
I told her that little birds flew up
and painted it that way for all
But she giggled and said to me
Theres no air, they would fall!
When I was a young girl
I asked why the sky was blue
and when told it was painted that way
I took those words as pure truth
But my darling I am proud
that you question what is said
that will help you will be aware of those
Whose lies to you are fed

A girl sits alone on worn, cracked steps
Not seen by any, but seeing of all
She sees the beauty, and lovely things
She sees the ugly, and tragic things

People pass by the worn steps, isolated from all
They need to see, she thinks
To see the beautiful and lovely things
To see the ugly and tragic things

Pen in hand, paper on lap
Chewing on lip, taking a breath

She writes of tenderness,
A cheeky child grinning as he embraces his mother

She writes of adrenaline,
A reckless teen screaming as he jumps off a waterfall

She writes of anguish,
An old man sobbing as he holds his lifeless dog

She writes of loneliness,
A girl sitting alone on worn, cracked steps

Hello, said you.
Hello* said me.
Whats wrong you ask
I smile, nothing
You glare, Do not lie
I grin, But I'm not
You huff, Talk to me
I sit like a robot
You write in your book
my actions, Im sure
But I wont share my thoughts
with this talking doctor

Howling winds flew against red cheeks,
tousling my mob of hair in a thousand directions.
I stood high as I could atop the building's roof
with my legs shaking from fatigue and adrenaline.
I moved my bloodied tongue against colorful cracked lips,
hissing at both the pain and relief I felt
through that one simple action.
I lightly ran my thumb atop my
left hands bruised knuckles, chuckling
at the painful blow I know I gave.
But I would pay for that tomorrow...
Gritting my teeth at the thought I clenched my fists,
and stepped forward, placing my toes
over the edge of the dirtied stone building.
The cities typical smog filled sky
was littered with stars of all sizes tonight,
as if they had only come out of hiding
to watch the morbid show I planned to give.
I stared at the audience above my head
with a glare in my watery green eyes
daring them to stop me, to warn me,
but they didn't.
Instead, they shone brighter than ever
humming songs without spoken words
they were content...
In their dark, gloomy, polluted sky, they were content
So I sat on that worn building ledge and
shoved my aching hands deep inside my sweatshirt pocket,
waiting for the morning sun to appear
somewhere, anywhere
in the sky.

Is Love...
Exposing bodies to be able to feel another's sweaty chest, swollen lips, sticky ***, and ragged breath?
Falling out of reality through colorful clouds until you pass out on the side of the road convulsing from an overdose?
Tending to the bruises and cuts given the night before while promising to never do harm again?
Wasting thousands of dollars on expensive toys and new fake bodies only to be unwanted years later?
Playing with the bodies of others while deceiving the one person who gave it their all?
Laying inside of strong arms and finally being able to feel safe and secure, even if only for a short while?
Waking up every day where the only contentment found is in visiting a gravestone that contains memories of a whole life lived?
A newborn child, with its bliss innocence of the cruel world it has been born into?
Being able to speak the 3 worded and 8 lettered phrase aloud?

There was an old man on my street,
Who resembled a pig made for meat;
He cussed and he drank
He fought and he stank,
'till a car squished him into concrete!

Lying against a brick wall
I gaze at the stars above me.
twinkling, singing stars
shimmering about, gaily
dancing in the night sky.
I loudly laugh at my thoughts.
for what sane person
would think about such?

An insane person
I look towards the familiar sound
to see my nightmare in flesh and blood.
A devilish smile of promiscuousness,
his body moving with cat-like grace.
He leans his face inches from my own
commanding me with a single word, forget.
and for a little while, I did

Your heart is there,
it's just on a different plane of existence
which is why only I can see it.
Our hearts live on the same level
of pain and secrets.

I am
just a daisy
A tiny flower
small and obsolete
In a Field of Poppies
Who smell sweeter than I
And are larger with brighter colors
but while they might tease me for my size
It Will be Them Who are to be Plucked Away
For showing off their pretty colors in the warm sun
So I Will Get To Bloom Larger Yet Because I Am Just A Daisy