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Oct 2017 · 219
Can You?
Tab Oct 2017
can you turn dust into honey?
can you turn a vision into a memory?
can you turn a badly worded poem into a coping mechanism?
can you keep living like this?
this makes no sense but when does anything i write?
Apr 2017 · 1.2k
Cosmic Love
Tab Apr 2017
you were the sun
and i was the moon
always dancing around each other
within arms reach
fingertips grazing
but only for seconds
this is about you
Tab Apr 2017
i wouldn't have taken so many pills
one after another
after another
and another
and then just one more
i wouldn't have swallowed my sadness
i wouldn't have had to feel the burn in my throat as i threw up
i wouldn't have to carry this secret around that i tried to **** myself last spring
i just wouldn't
it would all be so different
Mar 2017 · 955
Another Poem About Death
Tab Mar 2017
Oscar Wilde once said something about death that i can no longer remember, but I know it was beautiful.
it had something to do with how there’s no more today or tomorrow.
how time becomes irrelevant
there is no more past
there is no more future
it’s just you
the wildflowers
and the soft spring breeze
Tab Feb 2017
late afternoons are spent with you
singing all our favorite songs
dancing in the living room
just wasting away with you,
Feb 2017 · 817
Dead Or Haunted?
Tab Feb 2017
would you rather be dead or haunted by all your past mistakes?
would you rather be dead or haunted by lost loves?
would you rather be dead or haunted by a future you’ll never have?
*would you rather be dead or haunted?
Tab Jan 2017
your favorite song plays softly in the background
reminding us that this is real
that we are both here
and we are still in *love
how do i tell you i miss you
Jan 2017 · 305
The Ocean Knows My Name
Tab Jan 2017
do you hear that?
that sickly sweet siren song?
she's singing to you
begging you to join her
let's get lost
Jan 2017 · 475
Just Like Ivy
Tab Jan 2017
you will never stop growing
and growing
and growing
and growing
*until you reach the sun
Dec 2016 · 235
For Petal
Tab Dec 2016
you sing sweetly to me almost every night
you make me nervous
but in a good way
i love you to the moon and never back
Dec 2016 · 576
But You Promised
Tab Dec 2016
you promised everything would be ok
but its been almost 5 years
and my life is still a wreck
Dec 2016 · 538
Excuses? Maybe
Tab Dec 2016
i'm  sorry you fell in love with a void
a pit of desperation
and anxious tendencies
that you'll never get all the answers
and probably be left with a broken heart
but that's all i'm good for
Dec 2016 · 1.5k
I'm Sorry I'm Selfish
Tab Dec 2016
suicide is never the easy way out
it seems like it is
but it never is
you'll leave behind a wave of pain
a hurt that will rob everyone of a certain kind of happiness
it will cause others to ache deep within
they'll never repair themselves
your sadness will be theirs **forever
take it from someone who's tried to commit suicide
Nov 2016 · 2.3k
Tab Nov 2016
i loved her so much
i've never loved something
or someone
so pure
so raw
so beautiful
in my whole life
she left me warm
before she left me
i've never missed someone as much as i miss you
Nov 2016 · 8.1k
Tab Nov 2016
i haven't left my bed in almost 2 days
the blankets keep me sheltered and safe
there's love in these blankets
here i am free to be me
free to be black
free to be gay
just free
there is no one telling me to "go pick cotton" or to "get to the back of the bus"
i'm allowed to love who i want without worrying someone is going to throw a brick at me
there are no slurs in here
i'm free
*i'm safe
will i have to stay in my bed for 4 years just to be safe?
Oct 2016 · 385
Tab Oct 2016
my blood is curdled by sin
my heart beats a toxic tune that the devil whistles while he works on my shoulder.
it drives me mad,while all the angels dance with pitch forks around my head
there is no savior for me
God has forgotten about me a long time ago
something thats been bouncing around in my head for awhile might clean it up at a later time
Oct 2016 · 404
Second Glances
Tab Oct 2016
you left a bittersweet taste in my mouth
that i can't seem to rinse out
moon dust covers my room
and it makes me
miss you in the most peculiar way
Oct 2016 · 569
Motel Room Keys
Tab Oct 2016
can i get a deathbed for one?
and that’s not just a metaphor
i know it looked like i was getting better
but this has been a long time coming
i always said that i wanted to die young to save myself
an excerpt from my 2nd book
Aug 2016 · 283
Stolen Goods
Tab Aug 2016
you stole my heart out of my chest
and sold it to the highest bidder
make sure to tell them to hide it under the floorboards
and to wait until the man with the raven come to the door
he’ll be the one saying nevermore
Tab Aug 2016
words flow from my mind to the tips of my fingers
first jumbled on the page, slowly fixing themselves
you, the reader soak up my words, digest them
giving the words a meaning, you bring my words to life
taking in the love that i've left on the page
Tab Apr 2016
i love you
i love you
i love you
it feels like i'm screaming into a void
why won't you say it back?
never mind
i get it
i don't love me either
love ***** kiddos
Apr 2016 · 726
boxed wine
Tab Apr 2016
getting drunk on the thought of you on a friday night
simple, yet lovely
twirling around my room
a vision of you, spread out in the dazzling sunlight
filters through my mind
i can almost touch you, almost hold you in my arms
you are so beautiful
don't leave
saturday morning, hungover but still thinking of you
Apr 2016 · 405
don't haunt me
Tab Apr 2016
i'm pulling myself apart
sitting in a dark room
wish and wanting
that i could be whole
but i'm still pulling myself apart
i'm pulling myself apart for you
Tab Apr 2016
remember that night i had a panic attack in your room?
you to told me that my eyes could use some sleep
but instead
i let go of the idea of being anything at all that night
anxiety settled into my bones that night
i ache
i ache
i ache so ******* much
this is pointless just like my life (-:
Apr 2016 · 595
Tab Apr 2016
dress torn
underwear ripped
knees forced open
loud sobs fill the room
"shut the **** up"
she stills
begging to a god she didn't know she believed in to end it all
grunts and groaning
its over
"later babe"
she leaves behind ****** sheets, her cellphone, and a *piece of herself
Apr 2016 · 1.1k
for you
Tab Apr 2016
she doesn't do it for you
she doesn't wake up for you
she doesn't paint her lips for you
or add that sparkle to her eye for you
she is the sun
she is the moon
she is the Stars
and she does it all for herself
Apr 2016 · 827
Tab Apr 2016
misty eyes and blurry skies
my mind is in knots
i'm lost
the lines blur together
i can't tell which side is which
i just want to get out
i just want to get better
Mar 2016 · 561
Tab Mar 2016
I might be in love?
I might be in love
5 words that brought my world to its knees
At 2:46AM I fell in love for all the right reasons
Mar 2016 · 337
sweet death
Tab Mar 2016
i've died 1000 times
climbed to the top of every mountain and jumped off
eaten a cyanid pill
played in traffic with my eyes closed
waltzed with the devil in the middle of hell
but none of those compare to dying in your arms
drowning in your exquisite love
Mar 2016 · 608
I love you
Tab Mar 2016
Those words dance on the tip of my tongue
waiting to float above me
waiting, no wanting to be heard
begging to make a sound
but I keep my mouth locked
burn the feelings inside me
letting them go dormant
afraid of loving, when I'm so unloveable
Mar 2016 · 881
Maybe, darling
Tab Mar 2016
I'M HIgh
I took all my medication at once
I feel nothing
but I feel like I'm floating
I can't feel my bones
but my feet are cold
is this what its like to be an angel?
an angel on 10 different pills
floating above everyone
maybe, darling I wasn't meant to walk on this world
I really am high
Mar 2016 · 361
Asked for it
Tab Mar 2016
You wanted me to write you a poem
so I cut myself open and dipped the quill in my blood
and wrote, and wrote, and wrote
I wrote about the good and the bad
As my veins ran dry I scrolled out the last words
*"You asked to be my muse"
Mar 2016 · 394
Tab Mar 2016
Mar 2016 · 603
Streaming Online Now
Tab Mar 2016
Depression ft anxiety
its one hell of a show
ups and downs
you can binge watch it for days
**even years
Feb 2016 · 950
Sleeping Beauty
Tab Feb 2016
So tired
So so so tired

hours of sleep
Chasing depression with a dream of better days
someone wake me up
Feb 2016 · 245
Out of love
Tab Feb 2016
My parents fell out of love
I don't remember when it happen but it did
One day they held each other
Then the next day they held each other at the throat
I promised I'd never let that happen to me
I'd love with my whole being
I'd rot away with my lover into a next life
Letting the sweet feeling get trapped in my bones
Feb 2016 · 385
No Title
Tab Feb 2016
She danced in the midnight light
The night engulfing her
Her love came in waves
*A goddess of lost souls
Feb 2016 · 772
Lost and Found
Tab Feb 2016
You're gonna find people you'll miss
People who make your bones ache when they are gone
People who make you feel at home even when you're a 1000 miles away
They're gonna show you how to grow flowers in the middle of January
Smile lines will tattoo themselves onto your face
You'll forget about the darkness behind you
Focusing on the sunrise in front of you
Don't worry about temporary people because no matter where you go
**You're gonna find people you'll miss
Feb 2016 · 950
Church flowers
Tab Feb 2016
She was in church thinking about him, praying God wouldn't notice
He had cut open her chest to steal her heart
She tried to fill the empty space by planting wild flowers in her lungs
Wild flowers wrapped around her lungs
She had become an overgrown garden
Lungs collapsing, begging for forgiveness one last time
Feb 2016 · 375
Tab Feb 2016
I'm not great with words
I left behind a morse code instead
hoping, praying
someone would find my SOS
Feb 2016 · 756
This isn't a love poem
Tab Feb 2016
Love is just another word
4 letters
A chemical reaction
Dopamine, addictive as *******
Norepinephrine, adrenaline
Serotonin, can make one temporarily insane
Love is a science, not a poem
Its not passion its a reaction
This is an explanation
Not a love poem
I don't want to love you anymore
Feb 2016 · 3.0k
Warm Wine
Tab Feb 2016
Fuzzy and warm
The feeling spilling over my whole being
Drinking to forget
Forgetting to drink
*Warm wine filling the spaces you once called home
Feb 2016 · 916
Refill #3
Tab Feb 2016
The medicine is eating away parts of my brain
Slowly turning me into a rotting pile of bones
Artificially filling in all the cracks
Time for another pill
Pill after pill
1 pill
2 pill
Yellow pill
White pill
There goes my refill
Feb 2016 · 679
Tab Feb 2016
Bitter winter wind
Warm golden sunshine
Honey Green Tea
The burn of *****
This isn't a poem
I miss you
I remember how your lips fit in the crease of my neck
Hushed whispers at 4AM
Loud yelling at 1PM
This isn't a poem
I miss you
I remember everything about you
*Do you remember me?
not really anything but kind of something
Feb 2016 · 443
Tab Feb 2016
Trying to forget your face
but I can still see it in
the bottom of ***** bottles
Feb 2016 · 440
Tab Feb 2016
My memory hurts me
My future haunts me
I don't know up from down
Your ghost is my muse
Maybe this is all just a punishment for my pervious life
Feb 2016 · 255
Depression and pretty words
Tab Feb 2016
I haven't left my bed in almost 3 days
my crippling depression takes up all the space in the world
I want to know
does suffering come in any other color than black?
cut my chest open
but you won't find anything
**its just another void
Feb 2016 · 435
With my woes
Tab Feb 2016
every night I go to bed with my woes
I try to tell myself that this place I'm in is just temporary
but is it?
trying to exist in a void is like
trying to find a metaphor for depression
trying to reason with myself to search for something more
but I'm just a weeping ghost trying to disappear into the abyss for the last time.
Jan 2016 · 279
Tab Jan 2016
You melted the ice around my heart
Separting all the bad from the good
Then slowly welded our souls together
Making 2 halves a whole
Jan 2016 · 7.2k
Eternal Sunshine
Tab Jan 2016
Being with you was like eating sunshine
I was full
I was happy
I was warm
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