beating heart a kick start a slow burn twists and turns a playful plot taking a shot falling deep a faithful leap blushing crushing dreaming beaming panic attack out in black a hole so vivid a thought so lucid law of attraction love is nothing but an unyielding transaction
Guys don't like girls like me pretty to the eyes with insides ugly a past so aghast a mind so contrast a tongue so sharp a mess of shards all I'll be is me and me being me isn't **** I'm repulsive I'm impulsive I'm not impressive but very expressive, some days I'm cold some days I do what I'm told some days I give you the fight of your life some days I wish for you to make me your wife, guys don't like girls like me chained to my fears appearing to be free I can smile in my pain then cry in my regrets keeping my heat safe I'll love you in my brain, all I wish is for a guy like me to like me for who I am and not what he wants me to be a chance, a risk, a gamble a love story in shambles.
Unlovable? At first I thought it was a label assigned to me showing in the way I sit alone in crowds of people laughing at jokes I don't find funny and allowing myself to remain static.
Unlovable. And then it was a challenge a 'how can I make you like me today?' 'what do I need to do?' Because of course it was all my fault. That all others could find was fault in me. No longer rigid static, but yielding conformity my personalities clashing but crafted with artisan flair.
Unlovable! A prideful statement. Untouchable. Bitterly, bitterly free from all expectations placed on me. Singular. Alone. Strong in solidarity. Perhaps not lovable to you; but lovable to me.
I sit alone at the table I watch as my friends walk past Failing to meet my soft gaze Do I look pretty to you? Or do I just look Like something that you've never seen? Why do you look at me so, When you know you have no feelings For me, other than to loathe? Can I ever be loved By a person who knows?
I see the couples making out in the halls Their passion bigger than their egos Which are big enough to cover the earth In one fell swoop Darkening everyone's door step But not a single person will look at me For I fear that I am ordinary Just another person in the crowd Unseen to the naked eye Can I ever be loved?
For I know that you'll never share my feelings You'll always fail to meet my gaze When I bump into you, You'll be repulsed to the point of running away Surrounding yourself with danger Is not going to keep love away But it has for me And now I want to give way To the possibility That the danger will never fade
If I couldn't feel Would you call me strong? If my eyes never started to well, Would I be good enough? If I was dependent If I was putting out Would I ever be liked By someone that I loved? Or would there still be no one
If I was less of myself More of everyone else Would you think that I was nice? If I blended into the crowd, Would that surprise you? Would it make me Just another victim To your sightless eyes? Or would I just be no one?
If I was a girl that could be loved Just as easily as it spilled from my blood Would you love me then? Maybe if I was pretty enough, Perhaps I had a smile, If my defense wasn't to be rough And live in constant denial, Would you see me then? Or would I still be no one
I am tired of living under a guise Of words that cut like a knife And being unseen To the nakedest of eyes They wonder why I am so tough, Why I have never shed a single tear They must think that my life is fine, That it's better to hurt than be hurt But they don't no how much hurt Goes into being no one
I am unseen to everyone I have ever loved I am gone To all of those that I will ever want But maybe I can just continue To be no one