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Påłpëbŕå May 2021
beating heart
a kick start
a slow burn
twists and turns
a playful plot
taking a shot
falling deep
a faithful leap
panic attack
out in black
a hole so vivid
a thought so lucid
law of attraction
love is nothing
but an unyielding
Påłpëbŕå Apr 2021
Guys don't like
girls like me
pretty to the eyes
with insides ugly
a past so aghast
a mind so contrast
a tongue so sharp
a mess of shards
all I'll be
is me
and me being me
isn't ****
I'm repulsive
I'm impulsive
I'm not impressive
but very expressive,
some days I'm cold
some days I do what I'm told
some days I give you the fight of your life
some days I wish for you to make me your wife,
guys don't like
girls like me
chained to my fears
appearing to be free
I can smile in my pain
then cry in my regrets
keeping my heat safe
I'll love you in my brain,
all I wish is for
a guy like me
to like me
for who I am
and not what
he wants me to be
a chance, a risk, a gamble
a love story in shambles.
sankavi Feb 2021
she loved him because he reminded her of home
the way he neglected her
made her feel worthless
how he made her wonder why she will never be good enough

she loved the way he would shower her with attention one day and then completely forget about her the next
how every time they moved a step forwards a moment later they fall back to the beginning

she especially loved how she barely knew him
never getting close and intimate enough to actually get hurt

and most importantly,
what she really loved was how he would never truly love her the way she did him
West Apr 2020
At first I thought it was a label assigned to me
showing in the way I sit alone in crowds of people
laughing at jokes I don't find funny
and allowing myself to remain static.

And then it was a challenge
'how can I make you like me today?'
'what do I need to do?'
Because of course it was all my fault.
That all others could find was fault in me.
No longer rigid static,
but yielding conformity
my personalities clashing
but crafted with artisan flair.

A prideful statement.
Bitterly, bitterly free
from all expectations
placed on me.
Strong in solidarity.
Perhaps not lovable to you;
but lovable to me.
I sit alone at the table
I watch as my friends walk past
Failing to meet my soft gaze
Do I look pretty to you?
Or do I just look
Like something that you've never seen?
Why do you look at me so,
When you know you have no feelings
For me, other than to loathe?
Can I ever be loved
By a person who knows?

I see the couples making out in the halls
Their passion bigger than their egos
Which are big enough to cover the earth
In one fell swoop
Darkening everyone's door step
But not a single person will look at me
For I fear that I am ordinary
Just another person in the crowd
Unseen to the naked eye
Can I ever be loved?

For I know that you'll never share my feelings
You'll always fail to meet my gaze
When I bump into you,
You'll be repulsed to the point of running away
Surrounding yourself with danger
Is not going to keep love away
But it has for me
And now I want to give way
To the possibility
That the danger will never fade

Can I ever be loved?
If I couldn't feel
Would you call me strong?
If my eyes never started to well,
Would I be good enough?
If I was dependent
If I was putting out
Would I ever be liked
By someone that I loved?
Or would there still be no one

If I was less of myself
More of everyone else
Would you think that I was nice?
If I blended into the crowd,
Would that surprise you?
Would it make me
Just another victim
To your sightless eyes?
Or would I just be no one?

If I was a girl that could be loved
Just as easily as it spilled from my blood
Would you love me then?
Maybe if I was pretty enough,
Perhaps I had a smile,
If my defense wasn't to be rough
And live in constant denial,
Would you see me then?
Or would I still be no one

I am tired of living under a guise
Of words that cut like a knife
And being unseen
To the nakedest of eyes
They wonder why I am so tough,
Why I have never shed a single tear
They must think that my life is fine,
That it's better to hurt than be hurt
But they don't no how much hurt
Goes into being no one
I am unseen to everyone I have ever loved
I am gone
To all of those that I will ever want
But maybe I can just continue
To be no one
N Mar 2020
The only motherly thing I knew
was the coldness of my blade;
gently washing away the
sadness of my burdened heart
She never made me feel loved only afraid and unsafe.
am I really that hard to love?
or am I just unlovable?

it's my fault for pushing everyone away.
it's my fault because I'm never there.

it's my fault.
is it?

am I really that hard to love?
or am I just afraid of getting hurt?

am I really hard to love?
should we love?

how does one love?

am I really that hard to love?
or it's just we all love differently.

what is love?
It's been a while...
Brittany Nov 2019
I know you wish I was skinny
I can feel it in my bones
The girls you’ve touched were pretty
Trophies you could bring home

I’ll never be ****
Just cute for what I am
My hair is always messy
At least it matches what’s within

I crave to feel desired
I just want to drive you crazy
I know that you’re tired
But I need to be your baby

Love me, kiss me, sink your teeth into my skin
**** me, need me , show me where you’ve been

    Please don’t leave me alone in this bed
EntityRightHand Oct 2019
I am
Like the disease I have

Its better you're not mine.
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