can you turn dust into honey?
can you turn a vision into a memory?
can you turn a badly worded poem into a coping mechanism?
can you keep living like this?

late afternoons are spent with you
singing all our favorite songs
dancing in the living room
just wasting away with you,
darling

your favorite song plays softly in the background
reminding us that this is real
that we are both here
and we are still in *love

you promised everything would be ok
but its been almost 5 years
and my life is still a wreck

i'm  sorry you fell in love with a void
a pit of desperation
and anxious tendencies
that you'll never get all the answers
and probably be left with a broken heart
but that's all i'm good for

i love you
i love you
i love you
it feels like i'm screaming into a void
why won't you say it back?
never mind
i get it
i don't love me either

dress torn
underwear ripped
knees forced open
loud sobs fill the room
"shut the **** up"
she stills
begging to a god she didn't know she believed in to end it all
grunts and groaning
its over
"later babe"
she leaves behind ****** sheets, her cellphone, and a *piece of herself

she doesn't do it for you
she doesn't wake up for you
she doesn't paint her lips for you
or add that sparkle to her eye for you
she is the sun
she is the moon
she is the Stars
and she does it all for herself

misty eyes and blurry skies
my mind is in knots
i'm lost
the lines blur together
i can't tell which side is which
i just want to get out
i just want to get better

I might be in love?
I might be in love
5 words that brought my world to its knees
At 2:46AM I fell in love for all the right reasons

Those words dance on the tip of my tongue
waiting to float above me
waiting, no wanting to be heard
begging to make a sound
but I keep my mouth locked
burn the feelings inside me
letting them go dormant
afraid of loving, when I'm so unloveable

I'M HIgh
I took all my medication at once
I feel nothing
but I feel like I'm floating
I can't feel my bones
but my feet are cold
is this what its like to be an angel?
an angel on 10 different pills
floating above everyone
maybe, darling I wasn't meant to walk on this world

You wanted me to write you a poem
so I cut myself open and dipped the quill in my blood
and wrote, and wrote, and wrote
I wrote about the good and the bad
As my veins ran dry I scrolled out the last words
*"You asked to be my muse"

YOU MADE COTTON FEEL LIKE SILK
YOU TURNED BLOOD INTO WINE
YOU SHOWED ME THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIGHT
YOU GREW FLOWERS IN MY EMPTY HEART
YOU KISSED MY COFFIN BEFORE PUSHING IT INTO THE RIVER
Y
O
U
YOU
YOU
YOU

You're gonna find people you'll miss
People who make your bones ache when they are gone
People who make you feel at home even when you're a 1000 miles away
They're gonna show you how to grow flowers in the middle of January
Smile lines will tattoo themselves onto your face
You'll forget about the darkness behind you
Focusing on the sunrise in front of you
Don't worry about temporary people because no matter where you go
**You're gonna find people you'll miss

Love is just another word
4 letters
A chemical reaction
Dopamine, addictive as *******
Norepinephrine, adrenaline
Serotonin, can make one temporarily insane
Love is a science, not a poem
Its not passion its a reaction
This is an explanation
Not a love poem

Numb
nUMb
NUMB
The medicine is eating away parts of my brain
Slowly turning me into a rotting pile of bones
Artificially filling in all the cracks
Time for another pill
Pill after pill
1 pill
2 pill
Yellow pill
White pill
There goes my refill

Bitter winter wind
Warm golden sunshine
Honey Green Tea
The burn of *****
This isn't a poem
I miss you
I remember how your lips fit in the crease of my neck
Hushed whispers at 4AM
Loud yelling at 1PM
This isn't a poem
I miss you
I remember everything about you
*Do you remember me?

My memory hurts me
My future haunts me
I don't know up from down
Your ghost is my muse
Maybe this is all just a punishment for my pervious life

I haven't left my bed in almost 3 days
my crippling depression takes up all the space in the world
I want to know
does suffering come in any other color than black?
cut my chest open
but you won't find anything
**its just another void

You melted the ice around my heart
Separting all the bad from the good
Then slowly welded our souls together
Making 2 halves a whole

Being with you was like eating sunshine
I was full
I was happy
I was warm