Am I overfilled with emptiness...?

How could you pick me up
And put me together
Using your own hands
Without a single doubt

Only to push me back down
And break me apart
Using your own feet
Without a second glance

I shouldve known
After all,
Nothing good lasts forever

Words can never hurt me
But physical touch can
The bruises on my body
Came long before I ran
I thought closeness was love
But now I see
You are just a part of
Hurting me

The first sip they say
Takes your breath away
And so it did
As I lifted the lid
Again to my smiling lips
The liquid falls and drips
But my mind is elsewhere
Thinking of a moment I share
With only you
Just us two

I wish I could disappear
Into the knowing words
Of the pages I flip through
Because I dont belong in this world
Not when there could be
One like yours out there

I. Love. You.
Three words,
I never knew could mean so much...
But only when spoken to you.

I fear standing alone at the edge of the cliff
I fear shaking in the night without a light
I fear living a day without the hope you are somewhere
I fear I will never know you

I am almost at the edge of the cliff
Yet I still stand alone
The darkness is closing in
No light is leading me away
I think of you everyday
But I dont know you are

Interesting how,
They say to stop daydreaming
Stop imagining and living in your fantasies,
When those are the only things
That have given me the courage and hope
To get where I am now
And stay here

You dont know
Whats going on
Inside my head
You dont understand
Whats going on
Inside my head
You dont see
Who I really am
Is stuck
Inside my head

If you could get inside my mind,
Youd look for something deep, dark, and dangerous
But I,
I would just look for hope

Today is the day
Guess I might as well write this
Happy Haiku Day

Just because you dont see any effort,
Doesnt mean its not there.

Used to be there.
Now she is here.
A moon.
Never seen unless shone upon.
No one knows where she came from.
Across the ocean?
High in the sky?
The top of the mountain?
Didn't matter.
No one saw.
No one noticed.
A question unsolved.
The answer never sought because she was invisible.
Like a chameleon on a tree.
A bird in the sky.
Stars at dawn.
Until the sun came.
The sun’s rays blinded her at first.
Too much.
But then it shone upon her.
Invisible no more.

I see everything.
And yet,
I still feel blind.

Stands on the porch.
His gaze set on a lock.
He peers through the keyhole.
Nothing.
Sets off to find it.
What will open her?
What will free her?
Will he?
No.
It will.
But what is it?
He looks.
He searches.
He cannot find it.
He will not give up.
The house is crumbling.
She is crumbling.
He won’t let her fall.
Not now.
He is close.
He can feel it.

There.
He has found it.
So close yet so far.
Why?
Because she has it.
She doesn’t understand.
She will not give the key up.
She doesn’t know what will happen.
The house will crumble.
It will fall.
Not only will it break her, but it will break him too.

Its not ok
For me to be here
After all Ive done
Thats the one truth I know
But after all Ive done
Ive also learned
You were never
On my side

I cant be me
When you are around
I am buried deep
Way under the ground
I want to come out
So scared to make a sound
But someday Im sure
My heart will pound
Let me loose from its grip
To the pain I was bound
I will be known
I will be found

I thought you were the key
That opened my **** lock
The one to set me free
After the turns on the clock
But soon I will see
What a sadly small shock
You not knowing me
Sent through me like a knock

What I love about us is,
I want to know you
And you want to know me

hi
its me
in a few weeks, or months, or years,
I hope you wont recognize me.
I hope when you look back,
You'll think, "Wow,
Id have to swim across every ocean to get back to where I was."
I hope youll have watered your wilting dreams,
Giving life to what you should know you deserve.
I hope you will know that even if your heart hurts,
Its only temporary like the pitter patter of raindrops.
I hope that when you feel like no one understands,
You remember that your feelings are still as real as a rainbow.
I hope that every time a wave grasps you under,
You reach for the light just like a sunflower.
I hope you can leap across those unsteady cliffs,  
And finally see what hides beneath the ledge.
I hope that when the sun makes its way under the horizon,
And you let your eyes fall closed,
You're just you.

These lies,
Are what keep me from falling.

But these lies,
Might also break me.

The glass broke
Like my voice when I spoke
When my head insisted
But my heart persisted
But life goes on
Ill be "ok" by dawn

And when you reach a crossroad
Dont look back.

Shadow
Light
No one
in sight
Comet
Star
I am too
Far
Moon
Sky
I wish I could
Fly
Rays
Sun
I cant so Ill
Run

theres a switch
inside of this body
i call my own.
it flips so easy
turns the lights out so fast,
too fast.
cant control it
cant reach it.
just have to let the ache settle
deep inside my bones.
wait it out
wait for it to leave.
knowing itll be back so soon,
too soon.

Black streak
Between slabs of gray
Yellow dashes
Running their way
Head down
Dont hear what they say
Ask for food
When you know you cant pay
Wander outside
The empty cafe
Eyes close
Its been a long day

Leave me in
The icy storm
My burning loneliness
Will keep me warm

I thought no one could take away the lonely...
That it followed you like your shadow,
When the sun is up.
That it aged like time,
Endlessly.
Looks like I was right...

Tragedy broke Love's heart
And Loneliness was born

Lonely thoughts always find a place in my mind

Lost;
unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts.

How do you know
If you are really lost

How do you find yourself,
When every part of you thats lost,
Might have never even been there to begin with?

Your phone is full
Of messages from me
And somehow
You never see?
My trust is earned
Its never been free
You deceived and betrayed
And stole the key
Kept it away
Even after my plea
Now I watch as you throw it
Into the sea
Lost forever
Just like me

Do you
Love her

Are you a
Lover

Are they not the same?

luv?
Lov?
love?
LOVE?

why is that word so alien on paper?
why is that word so foreign to my lips?
why is that word unrecognizable to my eyes?
why does that word leave me empty?

Lure me in
With a melody of trust
But bury me deep
Under the dust
Hold out your heart
But tear mine apart
Leave me alone
After the love you have shown

Looking Up
I see your soft face smiling down at me

I thought the fears would always haunt me
But at night, they never will
For you will always shine your stolen light on me

I can see the dusty features and dark flecks on your face
They do not scare me
Instead, they fill me with hope

Then, I no longer can
Light engulfs me and everything around me
Even you

I hold back tears
Because you gave me hope
And I will see you again

Shes breaking inside,
Leaving behind shattered fragments of who she used to be.
Hes lost but following,
A trail of something deep with no end that he can see.
Hes closing in on her,
As is her fear.
But she lead him to a destination,
Without knowing it is here.
And now he has arrived,
With the piece
That will transform them
Into a masterpiece.

I should feel the sting of betrayal
Maybe later, I will.
But for now,
All I wonder is
How did I let myself believe it?
A strong friendship, so fast
Can never last.
Not for me,
Anyway.

I thought you just had
Ups and lows.
When you could make me smile
And laugh
And feel wanted.
And when you could make me question
Why I was even here.
Holding back tears
Id never let fall.

I wanted to understand you
In a way no one ever could for me.
I thought we were strong,
That we would last.
But I barely held on for 8 months.
And you?
I dont even know when you let go,
Because I never saw the ties between us fall
In the first place.

Ive given up on you now.
At least,
Im trying to.
Its hard
When someone makes you feel
Like youre on the verge of okay.
Even though you arent.
But they can also push you off the ledge
And watch you dangle.

I thought you had love for me.
And you might.
But what is love,
If it is not shown.
I cant just be loved.
I need to feel it.

My faith in you,
Has not all been drained.
If only I could tell you all this.
And make you understand.
But I cant risk
Your icy, yet burning heart,
Leaving a deeper hole in mine.

I wish you would know,
That it still leaves a small crack in me.
That I couldnt see you,
All of you.
I wanted to
I really did.
But even though,
The things that hurt me were small,
They mattered.
They really did.

Youre in good hands.
I hope if Im right about you
Being misunderstood,
Like me,
You find someone.
If you havent already.

Unlike me,
This wont end with pain for you.
At least,
I dont think so.
I was not significant in your heart,
Like you were in mine.

I dont feel the sting of betrayal yet.
Later, I will.
But for now,
All I wonder is
Why did I open up heart again and
Believe?
A strong friendship, so fast
Can never last.
It never did for me,
Anyway.

Meet me at midnight
Flowers in hand
Moon casting shadows
On the ground where we stand
Two lonely humans
Holding on by a strand
Torn but not broken
Holding my hand

Some days
I lie in bed
Over come by
A sense of dread
Lips trembling
But nothings to be said
Mind tries to get up
But my feet are bricks of lead
Breaking point is near
My hearts already dead

It stings
It burns
My heart's concerns

Words for me
Or so it seems

Now I know
I won't let go
Of the love youve shown
And broken pieces youve sewn

My lifes a show
Filled with sorrow and danger
Its not a promising film
You'll hear them say
As the scenes
Play across the screen
I glance at the audience
The theatre is empty
Except for me
I reach down and stuff
A handful of popcorn
Into my mouth
Hoping that'll stop the sobs
Even though
Theres no one watching

I can never seem
To control my mind
That is why
If you hear me mumble
"Shut Up."
Ignore me
Im not talking to you
Im talking to my thoughts

Leave me in a
Quiet
Empty
Lonely
Dark
Room
Its okay
Because my mind will never leave me alone
Inside it's
Blasting
Crammed
Diverse
Shining

I didnt understand
Didnt know
I was broken
Because Ive never known
What it means to be whole

There comes a time where one will win
The others left to pay for sins
They did not do
They did nothing

infront of me lies
an empty canvas
i am to fill
with all i have

no words can i write
no strokes can i leave
no color can i show

instead i leave
drops
streaks
waterfalls
of sorrow
that you left
in me