Bouncing bubbly kooky
A bat was my teacher
Her hair all shades of fiery red
The most distinguishable feature
She would cling to Mr Russell
And giggle like a kid
He could only sit, uncomfortable
Every time she did
One day she came to class
With a cross look on her face
And cursed and muttered to herself
About the human race
We all just sat and stared
At our teacher in disgrace
While she crawled under the desk
Despite our love for her,
Mrs Christian is a shocking case

Pick yourself up my kleintjie
Your heart is in your eyes and your tummy is empty
There's always home in our arms
Always a bed to keep you warm
My lover and I will keep you sane
The others don't know, they don't understand, they aren't the same
They all blame me for your possible demise
But all I want is to hold you tight
They push you with hard words and take no pity on your gentle soul
We want you to be okay
We understand
We love you whole
Chin up my kleintjies
You are the two who fill the holes

She makes puns
She laughs too hard at the wrong parts of jokes
She giggles in silence
Because of something that happened years ago
She remembers everything
Except the truth
Lies are her **** the thing on which she thrives
If her whole life is a lie then what isn't there for her to prove?
Everyday is a struggle she is destined to lose
She makes puns
She cries at night when she's supposed to be sleeping
She laughs so hard at herself
Because her disorders amuse her
She's fine but every time she thinks she's winning its the biggest lie

You actually considered it and for what?
A change of scenery?
Because leaving town means leaving me without having the guts to say it to my face
Because you'd see my heart stop like it did and you'd only get mad at me for it
I've never hated you before but I hate you so much tonight
Part of me wishes you'd still go
You considered it
Dropping your ******* wife like a cigarette **** so you could enter a smoke free building
Don't think I can forgive you for this
Now, tell me you understand

I wish you would kiss me more

Porcelain
Oh how your skin beckons me
Eyes awake pouring liquid crystal onto silk
Embroidery of affliction
I've seen what they do to you
And what you do to yourself
Unknown beauty queen
You never believe their compliments
You discourage boys who endeavor to idolize you
Girls, girls, girls
An open wardrobe
No hiding your sexuality my dear
Years
It takes years to gain your trust and appeal
Exclusive you are
People take advantage of you
They catch you off guard
Blindside you
Mesmerize
And hypnotize you
If you could give me the chance I will be patient and kind
Tell you I love you on a prayer
Spill every drop of blood in my body for you
Fall to my knees and cry for you
Shelter you from men who treat you like ****
And set you free on demand
And,
Against my will,
I will leave on demand
But only if you mean it

If I am an angel then where are my wings
If I am of grace why do I feel so far from heaven
If I am beautiful why don't I see it
If I am God's favourite then why do I resent him
If I am the one you worship, stop
Because I fell for a reason and that reason is sin

I. Am. Bipolar.
I have my highs
I have my
                    lows
I will be laughing about my life one minute
And crying about it the next
My switch is one or the other
But sometimes the switch breaks

And that is the scariest part

The numb feeling
Senseless
Hopeless
Unfeeling
Dead
Wanting to be nothing at all for a moment
So I don't sleep
Or eat
Or sometimes even move
I am a slave to my mental illness
I sometimes watch my friends lose interest
In anything I have to say
Until something knocks the edge and the switch is adjusted
And so is my mood
Then everything is fine
Or ******* awful

I. Am. Bipolar.

You used to kiss my cuts
Now you only cover them
Are you ashamed?
I'm sorry my breakdowns inconvenience
you.

Do you honestly have nothing more to do
Than make multiple accounts with the last name stephani,
and contact every ******* person on hellopoetry?
trying to scam or spam or whatever the hell it is you do
To try and manipulate good people who don't even know you?
Take your blessing and shove it up your ****
If you really liked our profiles you'd follow us
Instead of being
The most pathetic creep on hellopoetry.
Sincerely,
not today, not ever
Not hellopoetry

I feel like a monster
I broke your heart for what I am
And for what it's worth I hate myself for hurting you
I love you that won't change; its the itch I can't scratch
The urges I get when I think of my prey
I don't mean to hurt you or lead you astray
All I ever wanted is what I'm too scared to have
You're the man I hold in my sleep while I devour girls in my dreams please
Forgive me I'm so sorry
It's killing me too

I grew up on the boarder of city and country
On neo-folk and punk served with romantic classical
The kind of music that paints pictures
Rainy days were my favourite
My Mom didn't pay much attention to me so I learnt to play
With my wild imagination
Until Dad came home
He'd leave whenever he got mad "I'm going for a drive"
I loved dogs and horses and all natures creatures
Except cockroaches
Dear god did I ******* hate those things
My Mom was a pagan my Dad the member of a Catholic church
Mom told me if I am good in this life I'd be a unicorn in the next
My Dad just taught me the lord's prayer
My first friend told me I was going to hell
I knew she'd be a slug in her next life
School bells
I enjoyed school
I was a prodigy child in everything except math
Dad pushed me into Karate, Judo, Rock Climbing, Soccer, Boxing
I liked playing my piano and drawing my dog
Sports made me uncomfortable
My first kiss was with slug girl
She was pudgy and had a cute smile which I was jealous of
But she screamed and ran away
That was the first time I heard the term "gay"
I started to like boys because I thought it was "right"
My Mom said "we all love our friends" but my Dad frowned
I loved my Dad
I wanted him to love me too so I kissed the boy I grew up with
It was gross
I kissed many boys after that and tried my hardest to forget slug girl
We moved into the heart of town and I wore more black
I stopped playing with my Matchbox cars
I stopped galloping about like the horses I desired
I put on a little eyeliner and the bullying I faced when I was younger
Made me weak
It got worse
They tormented me those kids
I wished them all dead but I knew Karma would get them
Eventually
Now I am still drawing animals and writing and playing piano
But I wont ever forget my Dad and his silly beliefs and *** Pistols
I embrace my gayness although not to it's shining potential
But I will always love myself for everything I was
Am
And ever will be
My story is far more dark and complex than this but to tell it would take a lifetime
My whole lifetime
And more to come
x
Kaity

She was the earth
I was the sun
She would shy from me if I shined too bright
I would dim just so she could breathe
She would weep as greedy men would throw trash at her
I would dry away her tears
She would turn to face me often, a different side to her everyday
But I can't help but burn everytime she'd turn
Knowing the moon got to love her as well

For you,             nothing
Love                                not now,
Hurt                                          no more.
Nothing              for you
Not now,                          love
No more                                    hurt

He's restless. With bile in his throat
And adrenalin in his veins
He's living long before he realizes
A fist a flask a bit o this and that
An addiction
A love
A girl....
She's clever. A mindful eye behind her brain
A heart she thought would never beat again
A smoke a kiss a **** and a talent
Her addictions
Her love
Him....
They collide like the moon and the sea
Never completely
But enough
To move one another with grace unseen.
He has a poem she has a song
A word a whisper a lyric and a pun
They make each other,
The worlds most tragic
And divine
Lovers of the night
And sun

Expand your mind when you enter a room
What do you see?
The 12 year old girl in the corner on her phone
Sexting three guys and a girl she's not alone
The guy on the dance floor won't take someone home
He's literally just there for a good time
The guys and girls getting high because they feel so low
The girl in that short skirt isn't a ***
The guy who can't hold his alcohol is too young to be there
The dog eating his ***** is too hungry to care
You try to fit in but really you won't
Because nobody is as they seem and no one will ever know

It's ***** it's impure I don't want it anymore
It was my life and I loved it
But now I'd rather eat my own
Words by refusing it from the loves of my life
My best friend, my fiancé and my soon to be
Gone girl she's a right off she's all over the place
And as much as it hurts I wish she would sit on my
Lap and kiss me and look in my direction
But the boys get in the way with wanting me to fix their
Desperate need for attention when all I want to do
Is be talked to and held but they just wanna *****.

You could convince me to **** myself
You don't care because it'll silence the voices
You can bring me to tears at pulse of a heartbeat
Like right now
You will force me to smile in the most grim situations
You tell me it's all gonna be okay
Then go and say I am a horrible creature
You are my best friend and my worst enemy
I hate you almost as much as I need you
You do this to yourself
You do this to me
You are my own brain
The conductor of emotions and controller of my every move

How doth thou wake with an aching need?
For femmes and games and **** loads of ****?
To he who dost appreciate the weight of a lass
As spindly and petite with one hell of an ***?
Dost thou think for a mo...
That the only love felt tis that of a ***
Thou wast the only one left in the bar
With an overdose of E and a fool hearty scar
Nay my dear boy as one could only believe
A fuckboi thou art, and a fuckboi thou'll be