Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
maria Jun 2022
tones of miracles
yet you are
the only one that shines
7/6/22
© , Maria Xinari
14
maria Nov 2019
14
my life ended in the age of 14
since then nothing changed
still the same broken heart
the same grey clouds
As soon as I read my old notebook of thoughts, I realised that I'm the same person as I was 5 years ago

my most honest poem

Written on November 26, 2019
20
maria Jun 2020
20
let me tell you what 20 feels like;
I don't know
just like 19
scared
and lost
only a year older
I don't know why we celebrate birthdays

written on June 30, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2021
the year I fell in love
the year that broke my heart
Written on December 31, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Aug 2022
Should have been studying
yet we're fighting again
I can't get you out of my head
Written on August 31, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
maria Jan 2022
All this sadness
and no one to
share it
yours, marie
Written on January 18, 2022
© ,Maria
maria Nov 2021
I don't know how to feel anymore;
how to love you
when all you did
was
giving me reasons
not to
I shouldn't love you but I do somehow

Written on November 17, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2019
days strange
like spaghetti without taste
missing home

Written on December 08, 2019
maria Aug 2019
I've met you before
and then you changed direction

I've loved you before
and then you changed your hair

I've lost you before
and you didn't care

I've missed you before
and then you found another pair

I've left you before
you're forever shocked

I'm alive
Evey before is followed by an after. Letting you go was the best 'after' of my life.

Written on August 31, 2019
maria Jan 2022
they're telling me
to leave you
and honestly,
they are
right
Written on January 21, 2022
© ,Maria
maria Nov 2022
you gave me fights
I struggled to give away
everything now remains
you're the first thing I thought will leave the page
yet feels like this time
we ended the games
    (finally)
Written on november 2, 2022

Maria Xinari
maria Feb 2022
all I really wanted
was a metaphor to die for
and you gave me
all the reasons
Written on Febuary 07, 2022
© ,Maria
maria Jan 2021
I didn't really know her
but I met her.
I saw her through his eyes
and she was beautiful
She was shy
but strong
a fighter
an angel
She wasn't defeated
She's still here
She is a mum
She will always be here
They just needed a mum in the sky
Deticated to an angel, a fighter of cancer, a mum whose son I truly love, a woman I saw a few times but truly admired
rest in peace

written on January 08, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Feb 2020
We're in a cafe
drinking coffee.
I'm loving your voice
listening to your lies

what a routine our lives
tied to what's not right
as usual
we forget to love ourselves
by being with people who really don't define us


written on Febuary 07, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Aug 2022
the sunlight capturing your face
down the Italian roads
Written on August 11, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
maria Jun 2020
wasted
on you
Written on June 24, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Jan 2023
stories of woman and men and wolfes and the ocean
pictures burned
in someone's old closet
all of them masked
in the fond of yellow
bright as gold
real and cold
shades of me
shades of everything I abhor.
  I burned everyone who burned me
How can they not betrayed me when even myself betrayed me?
Written on January 21, 2023
© , Maria Xinari
maria Feb 2021
I should study
but honestly,
even you, fool,
make more sense than this
trust me, there's no sense in you
Written on Febuary 19, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2020
Being in love with someone
who's in love with someone else
and it's Christmas
...
the best time of the year
nightmare looks alike

written on December 25, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Aug 2019
just another night
my sky is a blur,
all a mess,
can't figure why,
   or maybe I know,
I don't want to know.
just another night
I can't see clear anymore.
I don't even understand those feelings.
Written on August 30, 2019
maria Jun 2019
She pulls me out of town with a bouquet of lilies
holding me tight, but soft, she talks about valleys of freedom.
She begs me to visit a country full of angel statues.
She's so confusing but sweet somehow.

The way she talks about revolution makes you want to burn bridges
and you know you would do it if She let your hand.
You would have fight bats and demons
but she just couldn't stop keeping you in touch.

She's talking and talking and talking,
you're not tired.
You're trying to compliment her through your laugh.
She doesn't let you speak.

Then she speaks out about how good you are,
how proud your children will be.
You can't help but dream of a life with her.
She looks in the sky and smile.

She stops in front of a river.
The water is so clean.
Birds are dancing above it
making love to your dreams.

Now it's the time to tell her how you love it when she sleeps,
how you're drowning for a kiss,
how you would do anything to make her yours to be.
She sees deep into your eyes.

She gets so quiet.
You're about to hug her
tell her you're not comfortable with her silence;
she left your hand.

Whispering, she tells you she's dying.
Her calm tone doesn't change a bit.
You, you realize that the sun burns.
She monologues that it was burning for so long.

I'm standing here looking for the joke.
She begs me to take care of her dog.
You're afraid to tell the little one, that mama's not coming home.

She demands only lilies in her grave,
white lilies of hope,
the opposite
of her black soul.

The river is so ***** and dull.
The storm that came within killed the nightingales,
destroyed nature's melodies,
rocks and branches like spears bloked the flow of the water
demanding for pure blood.

Wolves stand all around the river
crying their lives out,
the trees in the area scream and shout.
Someone could said they're enjoying the chaos.

The lilies fell from her tiny hands.
Silence.
written on June 13, 2019
maria Dec 2019
I want to see you,
but you're nowhere to find.
I wan't to see us.
There's not an us.
And I,
I'm dancing with the shadows,
shameless;
I'm calling myself for forgiveness,
doors closed.
I don't even see me,
anymore.
If you don't forgive yourself and instead chose to shut the doors to your feelings how will anyone else get to see you truly?


Written on November 28
maria Nov 2021
Made my heart a rock,
trying to brake
the camouflage
you wore,
trying to heal
your wings,
Fly was the dream

And then
you did.
And I waited for you,
you know,
I
was the one not flying
anymore.
And you left;
when I needed you,
You left
Written on November 17, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Sep 2019
In the ***** streets
I saw your face,
In the rough sea
I felt your body,
In the bus stations
I smelled your perfume,
In my cereal
I tasted your tears,
In the loud radios
I heard your absence.

On my pillow
I shouted my goodbyes.

I don't see you anymore.
My cereal bowl is full of your lies.
Trying to get over lies and the loneliness you caused.

Written on September 20, 2019
maria Nov 2023
too late to fake it
too early to begin again
01.11.23
© , Maria Xinari
maria Mar 2021
Being in love
with you
(O)
Written on March 23, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Jun 2022
trying to hug
          the void
    with bare hands
22/06/22
m.x
maria Dec 2021
kinda flirt
kinda nothing
written on December 15, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Mar 2020
I'm trying to get over you
all I do is think of you
how can I convince myself to forget you?

written on March 27, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Jun 2020
you
played me
I
was a fool
end of story
wish I never met you

written on June 24, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Aug 2019
Salty eyes when I look in the sky for your absence

The clouds are not in the mood to reply

I'm not in the mood to keep trying

It's raining outside

I take my clouds and leave the town

Goodbye
To the sad days that I'm getting used to
Written on August 27, 2019
maria Jun 2019
I call myself for your attention
but do I need it seriously?
Do I need the taste of your lips
on my coffee cup?
Do I need your perfume running through my late night baths?

The you I want,
who is it?
Is it you who turned me into thousand of pieces?
Or is it just the aftertaste of a bad dream?

The you I want is not a you.
Is not a thing,
but maybe it is.
It doesn't exist in thoughts
it doesn't seem to has a face.

I drink my coffee in the mornings.
All I can see is a kid with no body, no structure.
All I see is myself.
Looking for myself or maybe I don't know what else.

written on June 12, 2019
maria Feb 2021
If you care just tell me
I'm tired
and confused
Tired of games

Written on Febuary 14, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Mar 2020
it's killing me
inside
and out
but
makes me
strong
somehow

virus
in the town
me & you
cuddle
in the house
Stay in but stay calm.;)

written on March 14, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2019
I put you first
when you deserved to be lost,
I've gave my all
and you didn't care at all,
I've been so discomfort
about everything,
everything else but you.
Suddenly I saw your lies,
I'm terrified.
Do you want to hold my heart?
Guess it was all just for fun.
It was too good to be true
and I'm left with feelings for you,
I don't know what to do.
Guess I'll cover everything,
I'll cover you,
I'll cover me,
even though
you liked me cover free.
At least you taught me how to fake it.
I'll camouflage my feelings
Like you masked your fakeness.
Trying to camouglage feelings, although is it possible? © ,Maria

written on December 12, 2019
maria Dec 2021
I'll cover me
even though
you liked me cover free,
I'll camouflage my feelings
like you masked your fakeness
Written somewhere on June, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2020
when I first met you
you were like
Yes
and I was like
Not happening
then
You were like
I don't care
And I was like
Why don't you
When you talked
to other girls
I was a boiling volcano
And then
I was a maybe
And you
were like
try me

and -again-
idiot me
I never did
Too scared to admit

now
I'm definitely a strong
Yes
but
You are
a fair
No
Losing chances when they're right and realising it when time moves on and so does relationships.

Dedicated to the most passionated feelings I had for someone

Written on December 23, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2020
craving but not craving
you make me confused
© ,Maria
written on 17 December, 2020
maria Jan 2020
Haven't seen you for a while
                come and visit asap
         I'm cold
                I miss you
where have you been?

written on January 21, 2020
maria Feb 2020
If you're passing by
I don't mind
come inside
I'm not afraid anymore
vol.2.
© ,Maria
maria Jun 2020
I think you lost the way home
If you want a remind
you can always call
want some love
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2021
I know I should be trying
to live without you
but I can't stop missing you
Written on December 22, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2020
> 2:50am
So, I asked about fairy wings
when I was 11;
   you never delivered.
   In case you want to make up for me,
I will be just fine
with a true lover instead.
That should be easier.
Isn't it?
<
-Delivered 2:52am

-New message 2:53am
From: Santa
>
I'm bringing you your wings
<
Well looks like true love can't be find even from santa

Written on December 26, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Jan 2021
I'm not scared of death
but
I was scared when I saw it in your eyes
I'm not scared of death
but
I'm scared of your silent why
It never goes away, the pain just fade

Written on January 10, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Jun 2019
I was wondering why
and I searched every piece in my mind.
That's how it works?
That's how it is?
Maybe things are just like a thrill.

I place my thoughts in order
I stayed in your softness
I trust but was I fool or in love?

So,
place your heart next to mine
blow up like a thousand of skies
be your own kind of dark
be your own kind of magic.

Stay,
stay away or stay close
give me everything or give me zero
replace your bones, replace my soul
you don't ask you just glow.

Trust,
trust yourself when you say goodbye
and trust your thoughts when you're saying alright
far away you'll find a sign
just focus on my eyes.

As you're afraid,
I'll tell you something,
even if loving you isn't enough
you've still got me crazy just by your sight.

Love is a mystery
love is whatever it is
and you broke all of it.

So stupid me I wonder,
why everything that you love that's what you destroy?
written on February 20, 2018
maria Sep 2019
I wanted to be a psychologist
now I'm discovering biology.

I used to love doing athletics
now I'm lying down in my bed
eating chocolate bars and crying for the mess.

I loved reading books
now my library is full of dust.

My grades used to be perfect
but if you look at them right now
you won't even find an A.

I don't know who I'm trying to impress
I don't know who I'm trying to fool
I'm not myself anymore.

In depth, there lays a question:
     did you live or compromise?
I'm losing myself.

written on September 23, 2019
maria Sep 2021
I gave you all of me
and you,
you can't even pick up the phone
you make me feel so small
written on September 17, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Jan 2022
I'm begging you
                 give me reasons
to bear
loving you
21.01.22
© ,Maria
maria Jun 2020
afraid of losing you,
again,
I choose to fake it;
I don't care,
I say
sometimes you have to keep your feelings in silence to keep someone

written on June 18, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Jul 2020
well
I met someone
he's nice to me;
you never treat me nice
what's there to miss?

written on July 03, 2020
© ,Maria
Next page