I hate being human.
I hate the waiver.
Because the things that I do habitually, aren't even me.
I just learn them.
Slowly.
Steadily.
The learned yet subconscious, Me.

I am not
The height of all heights
No
Nor will I undersell my flavorfulness
The salt of the earth
And those reasons why
Are why I will not let it grow

Large snow
Flaking and falling
Like eye lashes
Eww

In peril elsewhere I may be
Or not
And yet
Here
In this quiet place
You may find
A small piece of me
Of my quiet mind

If you cannot bend

Twist or appreciate them

Or use them in a more patient way

I want nothing

For you have nothing

And no power over me

For words are more than anything

More than the abstract mind in all of it madness

More beautiful than the mountains

And more volatile than the sea

Are such words

If you let them

And I do

Be so

The amount of work this is going to take
Both inside and out, and out again
To build this way
Is significant

And the sad thing is
I'm not even comfortable enough to say:

"When you're working here
Would you lay these bricks a certain way?
That way I will feel like myself
When they're underfoot
In the days to come"

I struggle just to say such things
For fear of the constructed persons way

Sometimes it’s alright to let nice people be nice
To leave your preconceived notions by the side of the road
To let your pride slowly die
In a shallow grave alone

Sometimes it’s alright
To not voice your most negative feeling heard
Or to be so insufferable
And upset at the world
  
Just as in time you may find
That unassuming and kind
Is even easier still
When you do not your worst

Have you tried?
Are you aware?
Or have you already made up your mind?
To be this same old insufferable version of worst

Stop picturing yourself
As happier somewhere else
And focus on finding
The most joyous you
In what is currently true

Waiting for you to rush into my life
Is like waiting for the seacrest to reach the base of the mountains
So instead I will stand and shift the earth
Or my feet which ever gives first

A tiny bit of me
Still believes
In the ounceless weight
Of our slowly dying dream
Falling like the stars
Occasionally in mind and eyes

A home is not HOME
Unless you choose it to be
Even if you had
At one point in time
You must again
Or it's just another USE TO BE

Shadow, a scar across his face
Scratched unknowingly upon his own

Not to worship the self
Or the look therein

But to escape the external realities known
The distant typing of the alone

As liquor should be locked up
Too strong is it
A drink for all

So also should these chambers be
Refined behind iron
Pad and key

Not opening to doors like worlds
But renewed in truth
Baptized in study
And blessed by the best footprints in all

No educated mind can bare
The suffering of one
Let alone the many within these empty halls

Think as raindrop falls
Fast
Exclusively towards it's goal and aim
Without hope it falls short
Of becoming snow
Although sometimes as rain it does not remain

Powerful fingers
You will know them when you see them
Holding stars, holding planets
In between their webbedd wisdom

Hear them snap inside a thunderclap
And grasp the cup turned skywards
Hold the palm to match the desert
Each crevasse a meadow river

From the creator to the created
A hand to offer, hand to hold
So much for power and for wisdom
For every story ever told

Has been by his hands

A world exists beyond the streets
And corners covered by these city lights

Where a gentle patter is beating down to a different kind of rain

And the moonlight falls, burning memories into our wooden hands and arms

Trust me when I say that such a world exists
Where there is only thing left to fall
And that is the whisper of a pindrop as it breaks

For as far away from these blinding bulbs and city squalls, it waits
Forever and always, standing out in the pale moonlight
Just as far away as it takes

My ears are open
My eyes are to the sky
God I will try
But help me let this go
If I must

Life is meant to be a conscious thing
Though we constantly surround ourselves with those things
And people which we do desire
In an attempt to order and forget ourselves
The foremost point of life is consciousness
And therein, the ownership of self

I keep telling myself what I know to be true.
That I will not be here forever and ever.
And that one day I will be all which I endeavor to do.

You see, little old me never applied to me.
Because I am young and I am tall.

The world which I've yet to know stretches out before me.
And yet all I want to do is find the inner peace which sets me free.
The kind of peace which allows me to travel and return again without wanting to flee.

I have found such peace to a certain degree, but it's not enough.
My appetite is unsatisfied by this snack of life, and I doubt myself.
That I could possibly organize and properly depict the entirety of this thing called self.

Who am I kidding?

I'm just a man who keeps telling himself.
And that is the trick, to making the words in my stomach stick.
Like wild rice, are my thoughts to me.
But to find their way into the dish of life, will this not satisfy the appetite in me?

No. Because no hollow words from this hungry man will appease, the hunger for perfection in me.

Meandering … I know right away
What the context of this dark entails
What the question of this day implies
And so I'll answer
In distilling this … in the stillness therein lies
Though sunshine isn't yet necessary
To bring a shining smile to my face
Squinting on a day like this … born distinguishment
When I know, I know
Like the *** and groundless coffee based
It is good today
Gosh it's good today

Smile - Vaguely
Claiming busyness
Hide

No one gives me the time of day
That's alright - I like the night

I could dry my skin and be like the bark
As one day I may sprout like a tree
Once again
But never in the moments to pass
Can I survive and be content
With thoughts that aren’t mine
Even if conjured up for a good cause

Because I write for the mind
As I am of the mind
And though I love the natural pass
The whim of the willow and waves which crash
Know this about me
I am as selfish as any human can be
So please appreciate it when it’s for you

Because most of the time my prose are for me

Justice isn't yours to challenge
Observe the only change with ease
It's best to simply let it be
As when you're not involved
In the sinfulness of it all
Don't let your mind wander for even a second
Instead be free, smile and flee

Echo
In an empty room
No sun is there but you

Smile
At a day of gloom
No cloud escapes the moon

Wither
At a daily pass
No dream was meant to last

Wild
As the dreams may be
No one will last for me

Peaks and valleys found
On every fragile mountain
Past and present young

Am I dreaming again?
I don't honestly know.
With my tall frame a twist,
And you on your toes.

That one kiss shattered time,
And yet held it in place.
These old light posts remain,
Having witnessed embrace.

Not another in sight,
To have seen what we'd see.
Your lips resting on mine,
Beneath wood and the green.

In that moment my friend,
The earth did cease to spin,
In that moment it held,
And I kissed her again.

Contrast
Is a fine line
I walk everyday
Goodfellow and me
Precariously

The other day
A match struck my roughness
And anxiousness took me to be freed by fire
As I burned away all of your rusted memories
Which'd been stored for yet another day
Which turned out to be today
In ashes your words
Cast, burn and floating away

When I'm here
My eyes are full of scenic tears
And I tilt my head back to hold onto them
Because the beauty overwhelms me

I see the sunlight in the trees, the newness of the summer night.

The rich green leaves, fresh cut grass and the threat of autumn. Ever in sight.

And every root and bark and stem is reflected in the builder of my own home.

For it will be a reflection of me, my power, my arms. Finite. Strong.

A door
Large and impending
Leave it ajar and I'll be regretting it
For a drafty age to come

As if anything you say or do could impact me
Dear innocent girl
You keep your puddles
And I’ll be happy
Especially if you ever decide to swim with me in the sea

Whatever that song would look like...
I swear that you could see it in my eyes
Reflected here
Right now
Within this moment
Where I am alive

Your fingers as they brush the bark
Turn suddenly and bark back at me
All they wanted to be was here at home
Was to be alone  
And to know the self between the trees

Who is this?
The way that is
Straight and true
Once born
And yet
To walk this way
In a hurried day
I desire that speed
No more

Mirrored like a windowpane
I know you’re there, but not at all
No great height at last it would be
To fall like this, endlessly
Into the wellspring of it all
But to a craft and wet stone be
The way you hone the idea smooth
Like a riverbed, put me to rest
And toss me as a stone unto
And in doing so
Smooth me into you

A waivering head
With memories coursing though every finger
A grip on sleep once lost
Is held directly in hand
Though it cannot hold a candle to the perfect dark
But to pay the waking watchman's toll
Over and over again
Is no good for a weary traveler stead
Instead it's said, once lost in dreams
Such a peaceful hopeful magnificence
May be never found again
Let alone remembered upon awaking

Sing songs of the mountains alive and well

Whisper soundless secrets of nothing and wind

Reach out beyond the starry distant clouds

Grasp straws at the ocean rivers flowing in

Hold back the new dawn with a concrete hand

Lift rain from its fallen puddling end

Declare time that itself shouldn't exist and then

Doing all of these things would be easier still, than summoning the courage to speak with you again

When surrounded by darkness of every kind
As the fog of sadness hangs it head
To wallow low, in the valley below

Only you can smile, be it there beside
Only you can be gracious and ever kind
Within that moment

May you be so, for those who you know will not be so
For the retaliation is not to react
But only to only act out of what is kind

That way your own head won’t hang low
As you pass through this
The valley of perpetual time