He is the calm that rests before me.
And I, perpetually the storm.
Yet it is always me brought to her knees to please this God of thunder.
For with every gentle lighting strike,
He reminds me of his power.
And what kind of sinner would I be to deny this simple prayer?

oh, how you make my heart soar!
i never knew such a love could exist
much less that i should be do lucky to possess it
promise me that we can be permanent
for you already make me feel eternal

Oh, how I could just disappear every time you hold me!
I want to melt into you and your world and stare into those beautiful eyes forever-
however long that may be-
and not a moment less.

The summer breeze has me thinking of you,
In the crystal dark of night.
The fireflies are imitating the stars
In their celestial and temporary dance,
Their own galaxy of the moment held dear.
And I realize that I need you closer to me,
So I can hold you. Until I have to let go.

I lie awake
When I think of you,
Because the sun cannot compare
To the light you bring to me.
And the ocean cannot surround me
As deeply as your love.
Not even the heavens can sing praises
Worthy of your name.
For you to have chosen me!
It takes my breath away every.
Single.
Time.

life is safe under your arms
the poison can no longer reach me
and fill me up with utter nonsense
now i bubble to the surface
with light
and love

To be a young girl
drawn in by Death
Her innocence still radiant
And flowers bloom where she walks
Yet she yearns for something
More careful
Than the chaos of spring
Enchanted by cold and called by Winter
She trades her blossoms for
Quiet
Unaware that her flowers now bring only tears

You could never stop drowning me
With your eternal lies
But oh! Your eternal eyes!
Pierced my shallow heart.
You told me that you loved me,
the most permanent of all scars.

the sun will always fall away
beneath the horizon.
it will give way to the night, which upon entering, you will hear the melancholy song of the isolating darkness.
listen.

the dim light of the moon shines softly down upon the rolling grass.
yet the sky knows the earth is not enough and so she painted herself with stars.
portraits so obvious you might miss them.
promise me you won’t miss them.

when you stay awake at night wondering if the next morning will come remember.
the next morning will always come.
and even the nights offer beauty and wonder.
you just have to be awake to see them.
stay awake for me.

Sometimes I feel
An inescapable loneliness
Only to be taken off my mind
By the seductive nature
Of pain

If Fate were ever to be kind,
If Hope could ever stay alive.
If You would please stay in my life,
Maybe I’d find my peace of mind.

And I just want you to tell me,
did I waste more time loving you?
Or missing you?

i want to be the rain
the rain that falls for miles
and lands on your gentle face
for just a split second

i want to be the sky
the sky that is always there
forming a soft, blue blanket
to keep you safe

i want to be the moon
the moon that watches over the night
and soaks up all of your lonely thoughts
with my subtle light

i want to be the sun
the sun that reminds you that each tomorrow
may not be a guarantee
but at least i am

I lose all sense of time and space;
suspended weightless i drift
towards you.
Always,
towards you,
never ceasing to desire your gentle hands,
one last time.
I hear your heart,
beckoning from somewhere I do not know;
but i do know that once I find you,
I will be
home.

Each morning leaves me gasping for air,
still choking on the blood from last night.
One day, I fear, people will know who I am.

They’ll gaze into my shattered looking glass and recoil!
Scared of what they see.

A broken image of a broken girl-
all that’s left of my broken soul-
then they’ll turn around and leave.

For what’s to love of a devil like me?
I’ll try to care, but I am not tender.
I try to reach your heart, but once in my grasp, I’ll tear it out.

For your sake, I suggest you leave.
Please
let me choke alone.

a thousand dreams dance through my mind tonight
a million words on the tip of my tongue
hundreds of tears shed that all of this
will always stay mine
i build walls
hoping they will come crashing down
but they never
do

I look into your kaleidoscope eyes  
And am taken aback by your beauty
I wait with bated breath
For something
Anything
To spark between us
Having already fallen for your bait
Now all that's left
Is to hope you fall for mine

Shrink me
Cut me into bite sized pieces
Anything to make me palatable
Make me who I am not
And then we can both move on

i love you with all of my heart and soul
it kills to watch you drift away from me
only to come back for a moment
just to leave me alone once again

why did you get to be okay?
why did i have to be the one to fall apart?
why doesn't my heart listen when i try to cut it out?

i want to scream at you
i want you to notice that i'm dying without you
i want you to love me again

i want you again

Gentle moonlight caressed you and me
The night beckoned us with her enchanting dance
So we went willingly into the darkness

Things were fine with you by my side
Yet as we wandered we saw we were lost
And we blindly stumbled through

Eventually I slipped. I fell. I cried out your name.
But all I heard was you tip-toe away.

I’m so tired
Tired of trying
Tired of falling
Tired of never getting back up again

Everyone I see
Is only a better version of me
Prettier
Softer
Marketable

So I spend another night restless
Tearful and alone
Only to wake up once again
To realize how much I hate myself again

Some days I just can’t help but think
If I’m so easily replacable
Why the hell would anyone ever miss me?

i find poetry in what is simple
and pain in what is not

Hush now- dry your eyes.
Wipe those tears, baby girl
For what's done is done.

Let my lullaby lead you away
From all that is evil and all that is over
Fill your head with my voice- instead of yours

Because your voice is so cruel!
Clanging and clashing inside of your mind;
I can hear the cacophony from here.

Believe me when I tell you that all is well.
The universe has stars set aside just for you;
If only you promise to reach out and touch them.

Your lips were so sweet
Because they spilled honey-drenched lies so easily
You told me you loved me
But you told everyone else, too

I remember being a little girl
Spending late nights on the couch with my mom
Dozing off to Dancing With the Stars

I remember being a little girl
Playing dress up with my brother and sister
Without a care in the world

I remember being a little girl
Thinking I could be whoever I wanted
Knowing I could have whatever I dreamed

I remember growing up
Realizing the world isn't all sugar and spice
Certainly not everything nice

I remember growing up
Age 12 is the first time someone called me a woman
From their car racing past me

I remember growing up
And now instead of being a little girl
I just feel like one

If tears were currency
Then baby, I’d be a millionare
And I’d have spent my fortune on you

if you haven’t already.

Give me the ocean
Make me feel endless
Make my love deep
Leave me breathless
Entirely submerged in your ecstasy

In return I’ll give you the sky
Make you gaze in awe
Make your love infinite
Leave you falling
Entirely love with me

It eats me alive to think
i was given this life
and nothing will be made of it

i waste away hating myself
and wait for the day when people say
“What a shame. Think of what could have been...”

The truth is
this world is not made for us all
and some people are destined to be nothing more than background noise

I was raised believing in fairy tales
Those magic-filled nights
Where love was in the air
Beautiful gowns, and even more beautiful women wearing them

But my glass slipper has already been shattered
And the once sweet chorus of birds
Became the fears that flutter my mind

My dreams may have turned from flowers to thorns
And true love may never find me
Yet still I wish for happily ever after
Or maybe just happy.
Sometimes.

chaos strikes by night
inevitably i'll fall apart
but tip-toe the subject
and pretend that i'm fine

if i want help i should ask for it
but i still wonder
do people not notice my pain?
or do they simply not care?

The world is a cruel and unforgiving god
I exist to turn back to ashes and dust

They say the universe is in my veins
If so, the universe drips down my wrists

The stars from my eyes have long vanished
If ever they were such a thing

Small and insignificant as I navigate life
Afraid of all I say and do

All of this makes it plain to see
That this world has no purpose for me

I can feel my heart turn to rot inside me
I used to be so full of love
So full of life

But now I spend my days alone
And it is nobody's fault
Except for my own

I can't believe I fell for you so hard
God, why am I so stupid?
I knew that you and I could never be

It would be easier to make a quiet exit from the world
And I wonder
Do you even care?

if i'm not falling i'm flying
if i'm not changing i'm dying

why can i only exist at extremes
instead of living in between?

The mighty oak bows to the gentlest of breezes
The pale birch loses his leaves

Streams that are running refuse to be frozen
But icy death takes his toll

Summer is losing her grip on the earth
The whole world holds its breath

Frosty mornings and frigid nights
Replace the autumn sun

But this loss will last forever not
And the cycle begins again

The rain will go and the sun will stay
As warm beams birth a new day

I opened my treasure-chest heart to you
And you robbed me of myself
Then sailed away on the black tar sea

I searched and searched
For you appeared like magic
And disappeared just as fast

But eyes see not what the soul desires
And flesh and blood cannot withstand the longing alone
I shudder to think what will become of me

How could you turn me into a storm
Then leave before you could see the destruction?

I wish I knew how to take ink to paper
Before I took blade to skin
But sometimes I just feel nothing
So that's what write

i dont want to write another poem about you
i dont want to be thinking about you
i dont want you inside my head
but how could the best thing that's ever happened to me
hurt so bad?

Forgive me
Then forget me
I wanted be your idol
Your muse
Your anything
But I am cardinal sin
I choke out anything that once was pure
Corrupting those who are left in my wake
I thought you could be different
Your heavenly ecstasy infiltrated my senses
Oh, how I worship you
But oh, how you leave me
You would think by now I would have learned
My prayers will never be answered
For sinners like me do not deserve a heaven on earth

"don't you feel it?" i ask
doe eyed
young and lost
"don't you feel the world closing in on you?"
you smiled at me
your hand brushed my face
"so let it close in," you say
"just don't let it close you out"

you love it, don’t you?
to be powerful and adored
to have people fighting for even a sliver of your attention
oh how i long to be free from your orbit
but being around you feels less like love
and more like a relapse

i forgot what happy felt like
until you came and reminded me

why do i have to fall for you
when you decide to leave me
i know that im a lot to handle
but all i wanted was a chance
you captured my heart
please just stay