You will spill your guts
They will lick every drop of blood
While you tried to save them
You killed yourself
While you tried to be there for them
You abandoned yourself (who you are)
in the name of “Love”;
(conditional, sacrificial, transactional love)
Because you grew up seeing the danger
of fighting back for your life
You chose silence because
it kept you small,
it kept you safe.
You grew up watching mom tolerate pain
Mistreatment and disrespect
and you thought that was love
That it had to hurt,
not heal
That it was tough,
not soft
That it had to be painful
To be something endured
Otherwise it wouldn’t carry meaning
Because someone that brings stillness,
Stability and peace feels like “boredom”
If you weren’t intoxicated by the highs and lows
You feel nothing
Thinking that feeling something is better
You associate calmness with numbness
But it's only your body and nervous system
Coming out of survival-mode
You run towards the very thing
You should stay away from
Because it feels familiar
The inconsistencies, neglect,
Emotional unavailability,
Gaslighting, manipulation,
Love-bombing, affection withholding,
Silent treatment, blame shifting,
The ups and downs..
It was programmed in your little brain
That to earn love you had to suffer
Until one day you wake up
and realize that is not love
That is survival,
That is not love,
That is attachment,
That is not love,
That is trauma bond.
and now you have to rewire,
Reprogram your mind
As if you were a newborn
and what if i told you
That what you went through
Was the only way
That you would learn
What real, genuine, safe love
Looks like
or everything that it isn’t.
But healing doesn’t come with a manual
Nobody tells you how long it takes
nor the steps to get there
They only say:
“Healing isn’t linear”
That it could take months or years
But right now all that matters is that
You broke that vicious cycle
and you no longer hold on to old beliefs
You’re no longer trapped in the illusion of it all.
"In Dr. Orloffs book, The Empaths Survival Guide talks about the 7 types of energy vampires to be aware of if you’re an empath.
1. The Narcissist
2. The Rageaholic
3. The Victim
4. The Drama Queen or King
5. Controlling Critics
6. The Non-stop Talker
7. Passive Aggressive People
Energy vampires are attracted to the openness and loving hearts of empaths and this can leave us emotionally, mentally, and physically depleted. Take care of yourself and place boundaries when needed.
1. The narcissist
- acts as if the world revolves around them
- inflated sense of importance and entitlement
- need to be center of attention
- requires endless praise
- must compliment them to get their approval
- they use their intuition to manipulate and achieve their goals
- little to no capacity, for unconditional love
- if you disagree with them they become ice cold and withhold love, or will give silent treatments
2. The Rageaholic
- deals with conflict by accusing, attacking, and controlling
- will yell to make a point (empaths cant tolerate yelling)
- they behave poorly around loved ones
- Rageaholics traumatize empaths by beating down their positivity and self worth.
3. The victim
- energy vampires with a victim mentality drain empaths with their “the world is against me” attitude
- they don’t take responsibility for the problems that happened in their life
- other people are always the cause of their distress
- empaths fall into the compassionate caretaker role trying to solve all of the victims problems."
4. The drama queen or king
- overloading with nonstop dramas
- these dramas impose too much information and simulation for empaths to process
- drama is a drug they become addicted to
- they don’t get rewarded when we don’t react to their dramas.
5. Controlling Critics
- offer unsolicited opinions
- nitpick about the things you’re doing wrong
-ongoing nit picking can drain an empath.
6. The non stop talker
- endless verbal assault
- trap you to recount their life stories without pausing for a breath
- moves in on personal space while talking
*nonstop talkers don’t respond to your nonverbal cues. Simply looking impatient or restless doesn’t work. You must interrupt them as hard as this may be to do.
7. Passive aggressive people
- express their anger with a smile
- they sugar coat hostility
make excuses for why they can’t fulfill a commitment
- known for making sarcastic comments saying “can’t you take a joke?”
- they sulk when they don’t get what they want but claim nothing is wrong *these are confusing messages for empaths who are much more direct*
"
-by Whitney Mangrum.