You aren't trapped in darkness
You are simply hiding from the light
Taking a break from being seen

The one thing that I can never have
Is the only thing I seem to want
Never can I eradicate it from my mind
The thought that will punish me

Do I try too hard to make them smile?
Do I try too hard to seem like I belong?
Is that all there is,
Am I too far gone?

The thought that punishes me
Is that I will never be good enough
I can’t change the judgmental ways of the world

The thought that punishes me
Is that I will never be what you need
I can’t change all of the imperfections in my life

Despite everything I am the owner of my mind
I control these thoughts of mine
I have such power over myself

I let that power slip through my fingers
I let it become tainted
Consumed by my self loathing
My thoughts are furious and vast

Yet no matter what my desires may be they disobey
Tenebrous corners of which I cannot escape surround me
Suffocate me
As I am caged in the cursed darkness of my brain

I reach out as far as I can manage
I reach out knowing that no one will see me drowning here
In the ocean of my mind
No one will grab onto me and save me
From these thoughts of mine which punish me

Im spinning out of control
Twirling and leaping further and further away
From everything that seems to say
“Let me save you”

I run as far as I can whilst screaming
“Please someone save me”
But such a selfish thought will only lead me further astray
These are the thoughts that punish me

A feeling
A sinking feeling
Hits me out of nowhere
Its painful, I can’t deny
Why do my thoughts invade
Corner me in my own mind?

I can’t escape this pain
Where can I run when the perpetrator
Is my own conscience?
Where can I hide when i’m my own worst enemy?
How can I find a moment alone from my fear
When I am constantly there to remind myself
How terrified I am?

This fear is a prison in my mind
The insecurities toss me into a cell
They call it a moment of self doubt
A wave of depression
I am trapped here
They tell me that it’s my own fault
My own doing, a hazard to myself
I cry out over and over again
This is not me

Yet they don’t hear me from within
The confounds of my cell
Within the prison of my mind

Like sudden rainfall on a sunny day
The happiness fades away
Like water inside a drain

These thoughts are torture
These thoughts are pain
These thoughts punish me
Day after day
These thoughts destroy me
These thoughts control me
These are the thoughts that punish me

People who love the stars can't be afraid of the dark
Because when you know that light sprinkles across
The darkest parts of the sky, then you can't fear the night
No matter how horrible life may seem to you in the moment
That darkness hovering over you will come to pass
Take a second and look around at your own starry sky
You are not alone and you are not trapped in shadow
Don't fear the dark because you don't want to look for stars
Smile and become one for yourself and the ones you love
Be your own star to fill the dark

A toast to the two of us
Left behind, forgotten over time
Used as pawns of pleasure and tossed aside
Maps to hidden treasures abandoned after the journey

A toast to the two of us
On this day where we are one
Where I see you
And you see me

Ariadne
A toast to you,
For no particular reason

A toast to us,
For all that we can be
Let the stars commemorate this day
So for eternity we can see it
Carved into the sky
And no one will ever forget or use you again

A toast to us,
For all that we will be
Let my love be enough for you
To quell your tears and give you joy forever
To Hades and back, my dedication to you is eternal

They didn't write about this in the fairytales of my childhood
They never told me love could fade away
That it is hard to find, but easy to lose

They never gave me forewarning that my heart could be broken by my prince
Or that I could be the breaker of his
Who knew we were given such power, such responsibility?

They never told me there were other princesses roaming in his mind
They never told me of other princes who could catch my eye
Who knew of such dishonesty, such infidelity?

Who knew love was something so fragile?
As if it were porcelain it slips through your fingers so fast
To be shattered like the illusion of the fairytale love story in your mind
When you see the truth a ******* leaves behind

i keep missing these parts of you
parts you never had
parts i wish you did
parts that would have made me stay
parts i could've loved
but they aren't real
i keep missing what i wanted you to be
and i keep forgetting what you really were
because you were an absence of all that i wanted

I crave my own fairy tale
I want someone who feels like poetry
To rid the hopelessness from my romantic heart
And share with me a happily ever after

I don't need a prince or white knight
A pauper or squire is all that I desire
I don't require a gallant quest or noble steed
Eyes that are just for me is all that I need

I'll write my own tale to fill your storybook
Every page a poem of waiting
Till one day they are no longer of longing
And are filled with ode's to my one true love

How do I save you from your fate so bittersweet
It is filled with love, but not by me
How do I free you from your destiny
That is completely lacking me?

How do I put myself next to you
To walk along with you in this life
How do I take your hand in mind
And make you feel alright?

How can I buy you flowers
If you are not mine
How can I tell you that I love you
If you are not by my side?

Standing next to her is like putting myself next to Aphrodite or Helen of Troy
and still trying to demand attention
her beauty alone captivates and blinds the world
those pools of coffee brown eyes and dark thick curled hair
wrapping around my neck and flooding my lungs

Yet I wouldn't like to find myself in any other place
even Aphrodite deserves someone she can trust
I see her for who she is
I see the insecurity behind her eyes
I refuse to let someone worshiped by so many for her beauty feel so ugly
at her side I get to tell her that her beauty does not stop at her skin

Beauty dives into her flesh  and runs within her veins
it coats her heart in a rich and healthy glow of glitter and of gold
my Goddess here on earth, Aphrodite
you aren't a goddess because you have a pretty face

You have more love in you than your heart can handle
that is what makes you so powerful, so beautiful, and so beloved

It's a sad thing
To be around so many people
And still not feel
As if any of them care for you

It's a sad thing
To see them laugh and love
And still not have
Enough love and laughter

Left for you

I want to tattoo his love into the universe
So it becomes permanent and never strays

I wish I could wrap his words around me like a blanket
So on the coldest nights I can feel his warmth surround me

He like a safe place; a security blanket
He makes life feel surreal

Hands that held mine
Lips that grazed mine
Love that was mine

Now all belong to her

You took the Sanderson sisters seriously
When they said "I put a spell on you"
You were there taking detailed notes
For the day our eyes would meet
Because since yours met mine
I've been living inside a trance
An endless dream
Where you ask me my name
And I give you my number
But April love
I can work some magic too
I can make the seasons change
And I'll have time stand on it's head
I will take your breath away
Just like you did to me
When you walked my way
I will steal your heart with my words
I'll keep you captive in my heart
And lock you there with my lips

My poems of love are empty I feel
Because I haven't met someone to fill them
So to whomever may be in my future
Though they aren't about you now, they will be
I desperately desire a day when my poetry feels real
And no longer appear as letters dressed up to look pretty
One day I hope they are filled with something warm
As if my love for you will flow through them like veins
And jump-start the heart of all my passion stored and saved for you

When I finally meet you the pain of the past will dissipate
It will not be displayed as it is no longer visible
Cloaked by the warmth of your embrace

Patience is a slippery *****
As if it is the very sand inside an hourglass
It becomes thin and runs out

Don't worry though,
Just as an hourglass my patience too resets
However with every reset I become a little more hopeless

So please, shatter my hourglass and stay with me as we count into infinite
While the idea of time running out becomes a faded memory
Let us stay forever within our own time here in eternity

How much longing can one person suffer
An endless turmoil of an empty lover
One day I'll meet the eyes of someone filled with passion
As it all spills from their lips
Every dream they let out in a whisper
I'll write them out in the stars
So they can shine down and illuminate them
Then they'll finally be able to see
They are what makes the sky dance with light

Soft lips to touch my cold hands
A kiss to relight my inner flame
With a lust I thought burned out
All from the star I couldn't live without

He fought for honor with Achilles
Two brothers in arms against the world of treachery and deceit
No one saw the tender gazes that the two shared in their last goodbye
A final brush of their hands as they shake with an uncertain future
Patroclus knew he would die
Dressed in his lovers armour
At the hands of his lovers enemy
And in his death he'd bare his heart with one final grand gesture
He'd gladly exchange his life
For his beloved Achilles

Words are ****** to a poet
When we run out it makes our blood shiver
Our hands tremble and our lips tremor
A muse becomes an addiction
I miss the high of loving you
I crave the way you made me feel
The cravings dig a hole inside me
Allowing the emptiness to win
It's like my bones are bleeding and my veins are freezing
As I sit with a pen in hand and a paper made of sand

I wish that emotions captured in a sentence or two
Could chase away the withdrawal of being away from you

I'm a diamond, I don't need your permission to shine

I fell in love with
phone calls out of nowhere
deep and endless talks
and the sound of your chuckles

I fell in love with
pointless banter
silly exchanges
and I love you's

I fell in love with
the way you made me laugh
the way you made me smile
and the way you made me cry

I fell in love with
the way you confided in me
the way that you trusted me
and the bravery in your heart

I fell in love with
smokey eyes
long hair
and honesty

I fell in love with
subtle things
and it's all those little things
that I can't live without

Stress consumes your mind like fire in a forest
It ignites the anger inside to arise as smoke clouds around your eyes
In this moment you are so horribly enraged,
So terribly uncomfortable inside and out,
That you can't control your actions, your words, or the way you feel
You snap, you glare, you place the blame
Once you calm down you realize you are only angry at yourself
And the anger is replaced by regret and fatigue
You're tired of this cycle
Tired of feeling so out of control
This is what stress does
It eats you apart from the pit of your stomach and only consumes more and more till it reaches your mind and you are entirely taken apart
Like the string on an old sweater stress frays the steadiness you contain

Every poem of love that I write angers me because I don't have this incredible person that's in my writing. Yet from somewhere deep inside me these words escape, and all I want to do is bottle them up, store them away. But what am I supposed to say, "Stay away"?

I just hope you're happy, wherever you are. Not knowing that I am in such inner turmoil because of you. Not knowing this perfect storm I have been brewing for you. Not knowing that I lie awake thinking of you. Thinking of what I would say, of what I would do for you. What I would give up for you.

You don't even know how much you mean to me while you are probably somewhere out there in this world doing who knows what and thinking about who knows who. How am I supposed to tell you how much you bring to my life, if you haven't even entered it yet?

When will you listen to my heart's lament as it tells of the pain that searching brings? The lament a heart releases when its searched so long for its counterpart, it's soulmate, only to come up empty handed in the end?

Do you have any idea what you do to me?

I miss you
It pains me when the younger generations don't remember you
For me, you were a whole other world
It's been about 8 years since I last told you that I loved you
Since I last held your hand and said goodbye
Knowing it was forever
It was hard to grasp as an 8 year old
That life was fragile
And that I had to watch it slip away
From someone who was so full of it
Sickness is a monster
It takes whoever it wants with no mercy
Why does it always prey on the kind?
You looked so thin
You could hardly speak
Yet you still looked like the strongest man i'd ever see
As you smiled one last time
To tell me not to cry
But how can I hold back tears when I think about all we did and how we never again can?
Please tell me that you love me once more
Please take me back to that museum we adored
The last place we went together
When I think back to that 8 year old self
The one before death came to teach a lesson,
Because parents can't look at their child and say their family member has run away like their dog last summer
And mine weren't the kind to speak of a heaven
I can't help but cry when I realise
That innocence I had can never come back
I still remember how you smelled, how you laughed, and the warmth of your hugs
I will never be able to hear your name and feel okay,
Because I miss you
But it's because I love you that I try not to cry
It's because I love you that I keep your traditions and jokes alive
Because I love you

I see them, the others like me

I see their eyes in search of others searching
The lonely, the longing, the temptation
I see it all because when I look in the mirror
I see it in my reflected eyes as they stare back

I'm so lonely i'm invisible as the other eyes around glaze over me
I am pellucid to the open world around me, cloaked by fear
I long to reach out to those who also shy away from the crowd
Who have those eyes empty and heavy with the desperation

Yet I tremble as I take those steps towards them
I smile and ready my hands, but pull away before I reach them
Before I get the chance to tell them that I see them
Because this feeling inside tears my hands away from those I long to grasp

I was doing above and beyond moving on
I wasn't sad when you were gone
I was doing fine pretending you were never mine
I wasn't scared to have you erased

When your eyes that I once described as a pulchritudinous blue
So deep and true they turned the sky green with envy
Stared at me across the room
How was I supposed to forget the lies they failed to hold?

I was happy till you came into my life
I wasn't perfect, but I didn't mind
I was a vibrant color in the spectrum of life
I wasn't meant to turn so dark as I was mixed with you

I want to know what awaits for me beyond today
I want to see into tomorrow before the sun returns
I need to find the sunshine living in the living
I need to feel tomorrow in today

I have a notepad where I quickly jot down ideas
Many are confusing prompts for a poem I didn't have time to write
However most are plans I have for the future
Specifically the future with someone I still have yet to meet

I write about the things I will say to them
What we will do and where we will go
I plan soft trips to Baskin Robins and little comic book shops
Vacations filled with theme parks, museums, and explorations

I write about the days we will stay inside
In our quiet little space we take up in the world
Rainy days where we stay in each other's arms reading a good book or watching classics and horror on the TV

Days where we will come home to each other humming a song or dancing about the room
How we will support each other through times of stress and confusion
How we will look at each other when we know our life's a mess
And how our love will get us through the calamity in between

I think about theses moments very often
I wonder if you are out there thinking about them too?

The feeling of being soaked by the rain while listening to a sad song is enticing,
But have you ever run around in the rain listening to something uplifting and simply feel it?

I love the rain
When I'm mad and sad
When I'm happy and excited
The cool drops animate me and make me feel alive
I'm doing my best

I'm falling in love with the little things

I liquidate my words with love
As I drink and dine with you
To poison you with my perfect drug
The only stable cure for a world of webs
While you may be caught in mine
I'm no spider but a simple butterfly
Meant to drink the nectar bleeding from your genuinity

I want to fall in love with his bad days
His insecurities
Become a best friend to his loneliness, his fears
A partner to his loathing

I want to love him for all he thinks he isn't
So I can prove him wrong and kiss away his hate

I want to fall in love with his tears
His messy hair in the mornings
His grogginess before his cup of coffee
His clumsy and nervous stutters

Everything about him, I want to find myself fawning over
I want to give him my all and love his everything
Because love doesn't pick and choose
It consumes all or it leaves with nothing

If I only choose to love his shimmer in the sunlight
Or his childish smiles and giggles
Then it would be as if I loved a portrait
Our love would only tarnish and fade with time

I will love everything or I will not love at all

Some people make time stop
Some take your breath away

You were a mixture of both

I didn't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth
Mine was made of diamond, sapphire, ruby, and jade
Far more precious than those spoons of silver and gold
Because I didn't know money
But I knew love
The most precious gem that you can't buy

How can I forget you
When every song I hear reminds me of you?
How can I erase you
When there is nothing that could replace you?
How do I live without you
When you surround me in everything I see?
How do I leave you
If I still dream of all we could be?

He spoke to me of Heaven and Sin
But he knew I didn't believe in Heaven
So he left me with Sin and prayed for my soul to believe again
Instead I wallowed in those seven demons engraved within
Not Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, or Pride
My demons go by different names
Lonely, Anxiety, Fear, Judgment, Hate, You, and I
For within myself my own sins lie

If he were the sun
I'd gladly embrace him
Even if it meant I'd burn

If he were an endless ocean
I'd swim until I drowned
Just to be with him

And if he were the sky
I'd live my entire life learning to fly
Just to reach him

Sometimes I wish I was like other girls
That I was able to do hair and makeup
That I could understand shoes and acrylics
Instead I read, write, and learn
I can write poetry and short stories
I can understand foreign languages and cultures
Still I feel like I am lacking
Something I was born to know
I'm a girl
So why don't those girlish things
Come to me as easy as breathing
Other girls learn them like its riding a bike
To me it's like trying to solve an algebraic equation
And its well known I hate math
It's simply a language I do not speak

your words tangle
in my mind, a spiderweb
a mosaic; a garden
your words twist
they splinter, they collide
a million things I have felt
you summarize in a single line
i feel a deep connection in what we share
like looking in a mirror
i see all that could be mine
i see you conquering the world
one sunrise at a time

My passions are not yours
My dreams are not yours
I am not yours

I will love my passions
I will follow my dreams
I will be myself, you will have no say

So please stop tearing apart
Everything that is me
Simply because it is not you

Someone asked me if there was light within darkness. To answer the question I called them an idiot and said to look up at the stars.

In life there is immeasurable happiness and torment with a bit of everything else laced in between. Within that is the ever shimmering light and the teneberous dark. I believe that every shadow has a light within it's shield of solitude.

When I am gone one day, I hope I will come back as a star. If I go before you, I will be the light that guides your way. Let me show you hope and warmth within my radiant glow, even if I am no longer by your side. Let me float above this world so I may look down upon the wonders left behind. Let me see the beauty in moving on, even if it is moving without me.

Truly, this man brings out the poet in me.

I think I've finally realised why I don't feel right
I've spent so much time and energy worrying about everyone else
That I ignored the problems within myself

I have always had a solution for their troubles
But when it comes to what I need I never have an answer
I wish I could help myself like I help them

But my mind has become so paper thin
Rummaging around for a distraction again and again
I never have a moment to stop and save

myself from all these problems within
These days it seems the conflicts never end and never will
So long as I focus on them and forget

myself once again

When Aphrodite was given life
She was born into this world
All alone
There was no mother or father
To greet her arrival
There were no smiles
Cheers of joy
No warm welcomes into life

But Aphrodite didn't need it
She brought her own love into the world
She knew from her first day in life
That someone had to teach the world
To cherish, to hold, to touch, to desire
To caress, to feel, to long, to see
To love the beauty in between

She who gave us the deepest emotion in life
Chased that feeling to hold as her own
But as many tragic stories end
Aphrodite never had such luck or peace
She chose love and love again

But love never chose her back

The thing about being a hopeless romantic is that you always have these words you want to say
But no one to say them to
Yet when you do, you freeze
Because suddenly your words aren't enough

You often have this idea of love
Whether its the cheesy kind or some elaborate version of your own design,
You get so in love with the picture in your mind
That you become blind to the perfect love thats already there

Hold on to love because it happens so fast
Hold on to love because some moments refuse to last

I've wished on dandelions
Ladybugs
Stars and constellations
To make my love for you fade
I've begged angels
Demons
Gods and fae
To make your love stay
I never seem to make the right wish
Because I still love you
And you have moved on without me
But in my dreams I still see your smile
And you still tell me how you love me

Why is it I can only have you in fantasy?

Your lips may have grazed
But your hearts never touched

I love myself when I'm with you
Every imperfection becomes a crystal forest
Your words shine down and make me shimmer with amber sunlight
Together we are a sunset that outshines the stars

You make me radiant

Don't confuse my kindness for forgiveness

I keep trying to refuse these feelings
But everytime I beg them to go away
They find new places to invade
The more I turn from them
The more they grow
The more I pull at them
The deeper they go
Like the roots of an ancient tree
They tangle deep inside my heart
So deep that I can't pull them out