a wave of air
a stream of fire
a world ablaze
a person enranged
a life encaged
and eyes
and a smile
and everything
and you.

a week
turns into a month
into a year
and it's like i never knew you

though that's on me, i suppose?
when never do i receive
a message
a call, a text, letters

this is so very clearly
a one-sided engagement
so why should i waste my time
when you offer nothing but enragement

i realize now
it had always been this way
only older, for it, i have less patience

Stress consumes your mind like fire in a forest
It ignites the anger inside to arise as smoke clouds around your eyes
In this moment you are so horribly enraged,
So terribly uncomfortable inside and out,
That you can't control your actions, your words, or the way you feel
You snap, you glare, you place the blame
Once you calm down you realize you are only angry at yourself
And the anger is replaced by regret and fatigue
You're tired of this cycle
Tired of feeling so out of control
This is what stress does
It eats you apart from the pit of your stomach and only consumes more and more till it reaches your mind and you are entirely taken apart
Like the string on an old sweater stress frays the steadiness you contain

today i woke up feeling superly enraged
again, numerous of problems that i have to face
faking smiles, making strong words, so people would trust

today i woke up wishing i wasn't here, in this house
i don't know maybe somewhere else, not with this family
yelled at, cursed upon, always told me i'm lazy as ****

little do they know what i wonder at night
when i'm alone in bed, staring at the ceiling
or even during the day, basically anywhere,
"am i lazy? nah, i get things done, how am i lazy?"

little do they know how thoughts swarm my head
right after what they do and or what they say,
"i need to calm myself, what should i do?"
and then grabbing a laptop or a paper to write

you know, if i was lazy i wouldn't be grabbing anything cause i would just cry or yell at people but then again i'm not as calm as what personality tests describe me: "just like water"
yeah, you mean, "easily wrecked and one touch finishes all"

today i woke up feeling superly energized
energized to work, to do things, positively,
and then it instantly drains me, like sugar rush,
last but not least, energized to ****, who? myself

– billiondays

I feel ENRAGED.
You deserved so much,
yet you went back to the person who hurt you..
I didn't think people still did that,
I thought they learned once and,
well...made sure it didn't happen again, but
I guess it doesn't work that way…
You deserve someone who loves our creator,
who loves your family, and you
Instead you went back.
To a sinner and a sin creator.
You fell for the trap,

again.

I'm sorry you're upset with me
And feel like you need to be
But how much I care, honestly,
Is fading without reasoning

I tried so hard to do my best
But wound up creating a large mess
And now I have this pain in my chest
Because I left you in distress

You love to take things out on me
Always your target, don't you see?
You always try to make me cry
Knock me down on my knees,
But I never bleed

"Sometimes in life
You've got to be selfish...
Otherwise, you suffer"
I guess my words
Never sunk into your thick skull
And now we're both the selfish ones
And I've got words that shoot like guns

I guess the reason
I'm truly upset
Is not that I feel bad
But rather
That you make me feel bad
And feelings are things that I can't stand

I'll say this now, my words,
Forever, hold them tight
Tonight I'm leaving, and nothing can change my mind
Goodbye for now
Goodbye forever
If you're acting this way,
I'll see you never