A wild flight into drizzled dark night
The chorus line thumping
Overcome by roar and strain
Of metal tested to limits as we race
An endless risk disregarded as thought
And the sound of a bright giggle
Wondrous eyes lit in thrill of threat
Fear has no place in this setting

A manic gleam and set to her face
Sharing a secret as we laugh and howl
Because this is who we are
For all out control and desire
We scream endlessly through life eternally silent
Until we do not have to be
And in glory we release!

Fear is a thing to be learnt
A feeling to ******* and freeze
Is it felt here?
A resounding no! Shatters the question
In the screech of tires
In the surge of adrenaline
In the wild savage smile of freedom
Of a shout into the night in defiance of order!

Does my heart race as we tear around?
Not even a tremor! Until I turn,
My face from the moaning wind rushing past
And i gaze upon this savage exposed
Lips pulled back in ferocious glee
A focused and fierce glare to the world
We deny life and taunt the spectre
Come to us, we cry!

The paths are slick with tears of the gods
The roads tempestuous writhing in deceit
I sit in peace, relaxed
A warrior companion at my side
We know no fear of what may come
For trust
Ah trust
Is the colour of life
Ever shadowed as a challenge to endings!

She lights as a fire of the brightest stars
And i would embrace her
Burning endlessly.

Sitting, drinking tea while watching the rain come wandering down
a smile brought on by cool breeze on misted skin
steam rising from the cup in front, the fragrant herbs steeping
and cascading come memories of other times
of once close people and far away places
and endless cups of tea

No matter where i wander, be it deserts cold or mountains rugged
there are always memories of those left behind in time
bring they a smile, a grin or a tear to flow my face
i will find joy in seeing them again
even if only inside my mind
and over a cup of tea.

Take me down while standing tall
into shattered pieces fall
laughing now tears rush by
rolling down from this high
what is known, what is seen
wash this battered mind to clean
watch me smile here and past
rictus grins that will not last
knowing of the pain to come
colouring each and every moment fun
screaming now in joy or pain
always have they felt the same
only in this sea at dark
when light is gone and hope depart
there i find that fateful step
to take me up the ***** so swept
then i smile, i laugh once more
offer myself as emotions *****
though in that moment of breathlessness
where i don't have to face this test
there is a hope that i'll just stop
no more struggle to that top
dear ocean then, call my soul
let me pretend that i am whole
for i would swim the waters again
please, let me swim the waters again.

Tightened skin stretched around burning sockets
dry eyes that want nothing more then to weep
staring at non existent patterns of the ceiling
trying to decipher something
anything
to bring release, blessed unconsciousness
to float away for a time and timeless
to not exist
nothing
until time to wake again to face this hateful world
torn full of words and screaming to be heard
only to rush to another endless night
to lay alone with the voices
and wish desperately
to sleep
tortuously the weary mind tired beyond comprehension
is denied this most basic of escapes from life
seemingly trapped here in this stale
empty bed that reflects
waking life.

Send me out to the emptiness between galaxies
and let me sleep forever in the cold dark
peace.

Oblivion
i cry for you
oblivion
i strive for you
take away the thoughts
take away this noise
leave me alone
empty in the void
happily to non-exist
oblivion
i scream for you
oblivion
let me go

The goats were wrong
the grass never changes
the building up of hope and dreams
creates the need
for fulfillment
when the curtain is drawn
the show has finished
was it successful in its goal
or fall short leaving
avid disappointment

why do we trap ourselves with walls of thought
that exist only in our heads, walls that restrict
what we can see and understand through our journeys
in life and love, good and evil, wonder and cynicism

What are we so afraid of in our existence that
barriers are created so strong built through belief
and ignorance, invented to keep so much from affecting
the way we think and act, as if the minute amount
we know is enough to live by without being
curious about this amazing universe we find ourselves
inhabiting, filling the area around us with out thoughts

How can we not be filled with an unquenchable thirst
to discover and understand all that is around us
surrounded in physical splendor and ethereal mystery
All things are there for our mind to intertwine with
to understand without deconstruction, to comprehend
without destruction to be a part of and with all
of life while being individually thinking, metaphysical exploration.

When will we allow our minds to expand beyond our
walls of mistrust and comfort to show our thoughts and
joys of living emotion to each other to let
the very essence of who we are to press against
each other in vulnerability and trust, to share without
expectation of return. Without empathy and understanding
our thoughts will remain only our own, locked
away and formless, unable to show the universe
the beauty of what we truly are.

Where will we be once we can share
with each other our thoughts mingling to be
able and ready to explore this fantastic existence
we will be human, at long last true to ourselves
and everyone else to realize the universe is a
thought in the mind of a child
and so are we.

There is a place, far out there in the darkness
where shades of black are the only companions
there monsters stand bold but moments away
withered, eyeless creatures untouched by sun
never seen, though presence felt in terrors embrace
in this roiling expanse of unseen horror but thought
direction once known is lost, a meaningless farce.
Here then comes a glow, a way leading forth
bringing shape to the formless, stalking void
that fire is you, burning consuming the night
Now with smile and hope, stride into the light.

chains rattle and hiss
they slide and slither around my feet
poisonous serpents i cannot escape
twisting my steps into unknown paths
foiling my legs, movements truncated
falling to my knees, they climb
screaming, incoherent rage, wordless struggles
and they whisper
whisper
whisper
WHISPER
of codes and consequences
of right and wrong
breathless i scream in silent wrath
jaw distended, creaking
they wrap up my unsaid words
force their way down my throat
chaining tight my beating heart
beating
beating
beating
bea....


Peace.

Darkness
surrounding me
all that is known
comfortable and happy
and then
a light!
move forward
this curious flame
feeling heat
knowing light
and then
gone, snuffed out
no longer is the dark
comfortable

Screaming for freedom in virulent anger
hoping anothers control will hold us back
dying of thirst surrounded by water
stubbornness set in the shaking of heads
somebody told us, somebody knows
who this was the crowd doesn't care
the strength of numbers is that of invisibility
if all are responsible none of us are
give us safety they cry in desperate denial
punish the bad ones and leave us alone
give others the orders tell them what to do
though leave me alone as i'm ever so good!
let there be laws to hold me in comfort
build up some walls for it's us against them
did i break a law in stagnated laziness?
there is a good excuse, a valid exception
crying and whining for protection from others
unwilling to see we are all one
for we are humans
and the cake must be had
only if we can eat it as well.

Beneath the weeping willow I
Dream of songs, and loves and dastardly lies
In sunlight bright and fields of green
It is to life we all must lean
For the reaper comes, as he must
And the path we led must have been just
Under willow with sun above
It's here i dream of you, my love.

My mind drifts
untethered to the decomposing flesh
that binds it
traps my wings with bars of meat

my mind wanders through the world
one day i will not come back
freedom beckons
i soar on the breath of thought

Cold winds blow and wash over clothes less skin
The argent shining of suns long away covers earth
I stand waiting, as I ever have, with hope and humour
The dawn shall come soon
And be with me
In glory
The birth of a new day, resplendent in the possible
The chill beauty of the night gracefully fades
The bright wonder of the day sweeps
In waves across the world

The new dawn suffuses the hills, a golden flow of light
Warmth on my face, looking at the ascendant sun
Breath catches as colours erupt in riotous desire
The dawn has come
She stands with me
In wonder
The day has come, the existence of all is truth
Land breathes, voices risen in greeting
Life has arrived, we cry.

What if i could see my thoughts
would they chase each other around
a chaotic melange of colours
crashing and swirling through the  mists
an ever moving cacophony of intelligence

would they be stately progresses of comprehension
an elegant forest with deep thirsting roots
seeking knowledge as sustenance
branching of mind expanding to catch the wind
of thoughts rushing by

could they be complex mathematical equations
sharp and precise, proven to absolute
no doubt, no grey surrounding the theorem
the purity and truth of numbers
running the reality that is me

a mix, i think, of all
a chaotic mix of order
an ordered mix of chaos
that makes my thoughts mine.

The end of his strength it comes in a rush
a wildfire burning destroying in lust
the joys of a life are forgotten in turn
passions and trusts that were once so bright
paled to nothingness, haunted remains
they cry in quiet voices, the roaring above
drowning the sorrowful sounds of lost lives
what he was has long since passes through silent halls
of what may have become only ashes that stir
no dormant embers lay hidden to ignited in pain
a fiery expanse, though grey as the burnt sky
an emptiness within and without reflecting each side
the end of his strength it came in a rush

The end of his will it came on but slow
endless dripping of acid on stone
shallow grooves to begin, easy ignored
forgotten within the raging tempest surrounding
then stone is gone and he along with it
the pain long left flows in furious tides
aches from the past, for without his armour
the wounds that will not heal are open to the void
not seen or felt when present, pressures innumerable
with dawning realization, for all things do hurt
the treatment of others as knives in the mind
hurting themselves to pain those loved to hurt once more
cycles of pain of hate of suffering
impacting upon an open soul
and the end of his will did come but slow

The end of his patience came dressed as fury
a relentless glacial desire plunging in anger
sweeping all before leaving naught, torn earth
disguised at rage at this world, this life
screaming in powerlessness for he cannot protect
or any for it is themselves, screaming and crying
in a denial that cannot be expressed in fears
or the red steam of blood shed under cause
only shown in a heart of ice that has suffered enough
scars of loves lost, trusts betrayed marking emotional flesh
twisting the shape of what was once straight, true
a mockery of man seen in sneering lips that did smile
in heavy hands that once caressed ever gentle
memories of life buried in uncompromising overwhelming agony of ice
the end of his patience burning as fury

Darkness creeps in as it ever does on light
until there is naught left but shadows and mists
as rest comes for him with final gasp he breathes
At last, at last.

Sometimes i wish

and then

Wish i hadn't

There was a child once
full of  barely hidden laughter and mischief
emotions endlessly poured out and back in
like a tide tasting a new shore for the first time
Where is that child i wonder

there was a traveler once
thirsting for the experience and life seen all around
headfirst diving into the world accepting
fearing nothing and witnessed with wide eyes
where is that traveler i wonder

there was a husband once
overflowing with found shining love
joy swamping easily the baseless fear of loss
proven in horrible perfection in a moment
where is that husband i wonder

there was a father once
completely enamored of a tiny squalling form
filled with a something that could not be defined
until it was gone drained and replaced with horror
where is that father i wonder

there was a lover once
coupled a shy temerity with a respectful tenderness
opening to possible love as a flower to sun
bruised and rejected on occasion though ever hopeful
where is that lover i wonder

there was a soldier once
who stood up with passion for those who could not
heart on the sleeve and thunder on the brow
viewing the world as a problem to be fixed
where is that soldier i wonder

there was a fighter once
who smiled sadly as he fought and killed in the name of money
laughing at the jokes his companions made in desperate tones
as they hid the slowly acidic thoughtful fear of being the bad guys
where is that fighter i wonder

there was a man once
betrayed and broken by this world and his choices
looking back across the memories that swirl and sift
ashes and dust that are all the remains of a once laughing child
and i don't need wonder where that man is.

I am life
fighting for light
ever reaching forward
greater height beckoning me
growing ever stronger with the world
entire lives are born and die in me
branches shelter all from harm
cover earth from sun
hide prey from hunt
i am tree
I am life

As always when i look in the mirror

a stranger looks back at me

Who is this man, with his piercing blue eyes

his half smile showing his life cynicism

Who is this man that stares back at me

his glance going through me as if i don't exist

i see laughter in his eyes, a smile at the world

i also see rage, an uncontrollable anger

that could destroy all nearest to him

Who is this man that looks back at me

he scares me but also i trust him

the world in his eyes is lost

but the fight goes on as it ever will

The man in the mirror

i view him as others would

is this how i am seen?

What i see in the mirror is not who i am

a mere reflection of the me

I am far more

Affection is
a place of warmth and safety
where joy and fun collide
in an idea of future

Love is
unremitting emotion erupting
boiling flames of possible pain
a wondrous burning heat

Fear is
knowing you'll die alone and forgotten
discovered as a corpse years later
when neighbours complain about the mail

Joy is
being lost in a single moment
the unexpected laugh of being alive
a passing radiant smile

Depression is
a black tar bog
dragging you down
where even screams are drowned

Loneliness is
the unfortunate idea that
if i don't smile now
i won't get another chance

Happiness is
finding that memory
that will make me laugh
no matter the situation

Horror is
waking from my dreams
to find they're not real
and having to face this world

Self loathing is
the constant critique
and lists of all my faults
running through my head

Relief is
knowing it is only a few hours
i can sleep again
and lose myself in dreaming

Frustration is
when my head hits the pillow
and eyes drift close
but the mind will not let go

Strength is
waking up a normal unremarkable person
seeing all the pain the day will bring
and trying to make sure someone else will smile

Hope is
that there is someone out there
that i might meet today
that can make me smile

Bravery is
looking in the mirror standing tall
to brace my shoulders against this life
and making sure i make someone laugh today.

Why cannot here be peace
on this many colored world there could be
where the circles of pain and hate
burn ever moving into victims
freezing hearts from loving movement
to the stillness of the never born
the unsmiling grip of payment
where shrieking heard cry
they owe for what they did
though righteously deny the fee that comes
breathing vilely above ignorant heads
feeding of words that know no better
cursed to echo what went before
for the circle only knows this
here  past is the future
there future the past
and without breaking the endless spinning
change shan't be able
we all cry for a hero to change our ways
though to step forward is too much
though when they come
as one treat them as have been treated
and expect them to be better
hope they will be better
beg them to be better
while we tear them screaming
down to equality
in the dark and pain
from where escape only exists
in the fragmented dream of peace.

A space where she used to be
empty and incomplete in my mind
it feels wrong jarring my perception
both a large and subtle shift
in the world

Expectations shape our reality
telling us what is absent
what is new and interesting
my mind knows she will be there
though this is not true

the gap is like a deserted building
slowly the emptiness fills up
the weeds and vines of other thoughts
but still no matter the clutter
the space remains and shall never be filled

So there are holes in my mind
for every love i have found and lost
there is plenty more mind to be both
filled and emptied by life, a thought
that shows me both the unbelievable
highs and unfathomable depths

Shattered mirror
fallen from the sky
pale ribbon of colour binds the earth
i fly

This too will pass
this heart break and pain
i can see this.

Unfortunately the knowledge is there
of when it will be again
and i break.

I look at my hands sometimes
these old, battered appendages
this is how i see the world
this is how i feel
and they are weathered
scarred and hurt
but still they work
in pain and toil.

My hands are who i am
and they never will touch
you.

My mind broke on Saturday night
shattered shards of control splintering through
what remains of a battered, weary psyche
slicing, cutting
thoughts spilling everywhere
slicing, cutting
thoughts spilling everywhere
SLICING, CUTTING
emotions bleed out
the sightless eyes of many
staring at me
as i fight the demons
that have escaped
staring at me
as i fight myself
staring at me
as i lose.
I don't want to fight anymore
i don't want to
i don't
i can't
staring at me as i fall
the demonic reflections vanish
everything fades
until i, too
am gone.

I always smile at those i pass
meet the eyes, for who knows what spark
may catch tinder and flame

though flame never catches
on indifferent stone
and they're eyes are ever cast downwards

The fire does not dream of you
for all it's warm embrace
it cannot feel the warmth of your smile
nor the heat in your heart
the fire may not dream of you
though I do

The wind does not dream of you
for all it's endless visage
it cannot see the wild wins of your spirit
nor the wonderful swirling of your thoughts
the wind may not dream of you
though I do

The water does not dream of you
for all it gloomy depths
it cannot touch your wondrous strength
nor the power of your presence
the water may not dream of you
though I do

The earth does not dream of you
for all it's gravely resilience
it cannot laugh with all your words
nor dance in pleasure to your voice
the earth may not dream of you
though I do

The world does not dream of you
for all its endless connections of thought
it cannot love just who you
nor fall even further every day
the world may not dream of you
though I do

My mind it does dream of you
for all it's relentless distractions
it cannot feel the space between us
only the spark that binds
my mind always dreams of you
and I smile, I do.

And here you see the forlorn man
facing backwards along his span of years
critiquing each time of neglect
confronting past decisions with a sneer
lamenting the decades of regret
should have been more
could have been better
held on too tight with grasping claw
let go that which he ignored
mistakes strangling forward thought
so trapped and caught at last
before the end already stopped
endlessly cycling through the past
standing stationary on the road of life
face down in mud on the verge
screaming at others, not this way!
ignored perhaps pitied
if thought of at all
even in his own mind
for he is forlorn.

Cloudy skies
Translucent souls
Cloudy minds
Opaque walls

I'm tired of this life
So tired of this world
Of loving and knowing only pain in return
Of trust and betrayal
Of the knowledge that this is all there is
Knocked down
Again and
Again
Until i choose to not get up
Choose to stay in the dust
To let go, finally
And to not care.

I am tired of knowing that i won't
Knowing that i will get back up
this time
and the next
Smile at the world
And with flinching eyes
Wait for the inevitable pain
Again.

Host of thoughts, hoarder of secrets
cascading minds erupt unfurled
lovers lost and cries unheeded
into inky darkness noises plunge
this molten surface of frozen disregard
into which we fall precious memories
mustn't, shouldn't, dare not let go
heedless falling in hopeless monotony
fleeing from pain, emptiness left in wake
to make the same mistakes
time drags balance, empathy for the lost
understanding of lives, lessons entwined
groping inside to missing
the pain that allows joy to bloom
desperately hands splash into shadowed depths
hoping to steal back discarded tatters
fingers dragging in struggling remnants
into the light of thought and view
to play among the misty, crumbling foundations
of the endless mind.

The fires are still burning, the sounds of slow destruction all round
this battlefield is quieter now, still but not silent
the crackling of flames, the stirring of ashes in the wind
sobbing in the distance, almost to far to hear
instantly recognizable
there was no enemy here, a war raged all the same
a screaming brutal conflict of brothers beyond control
all that is left now is a broken, barren idea
an immolated emptiness

I know this field, i know it all to well
this is my mind, my soul - the place i return to endlessly
there was laughter here, once, i think. I cannot be sure
for time, betrayal, loss and pain have made it...
made it something else for so long i can no longer remember
what it may have been before or if there was a before
i must like it here, i feel, this field of empty ashes and dying fires
of cooled anger and forgotten grief
i must like it here, for i return constantly
to surround myself in the freezing, burning contradiction
of emptiness

I think i do like it here, for i choose not to leave
only here can i be
immersed in the self immolation the hurts me so.

Love is the death of honour
pain the demise of grace
voices whisper and taunt these thoughts
plaguing my waking hours, infecting my dreams
i stand before, then toward i crawl
yet another cross-roads, another choice
run, tempts the voice in vicious spite
run and not return, someone else again, reinvent
that your worthlessness may not be found
the true face to stay hidden behind façade
flee, pretend you can be free
seductively the voices cajole without cease
to walk away from those i owe
leaving honour in the dust of broken promises
for the pain they bring is to great to bear
here people that love me in hope and grace
you are not worthy, voices sibilant, bring only pain
and i know it is all i am, consumed by hurt
a heart beating on for no purpose, absent of reason
love immolates me in corrupted, desired, fiery agony
destroying strength, abolishing honour
here grace has nothing to do but fall, fall fall
all,the while voices giggle in mocking murmur.

Her eyes are endless pools of rich earth
The glitter and sparkle ever present
Stand against them I cannot
Letting go, I am lost eternally
Ecstatic

Her lips are the magnificent hue of the dawn
Forever burning with sweet desire
Dent their attraction I cannot
Release my hold, I fall heedlessly
Helpless

Her skin is as soft as a whispered breath
Warmed by caress with unmatched invitation
Resist temptation I cannot
Open my grasp, I leap happily
Exuberant

Her mind is a deep as an ocean of thought
The spark and fire rampant within
Ignore the connection I cannot
Surrendering my stance, I stumble
Gratefully

Her embrace is as calming as a moonlit eve
Comfort enveloping in wordless love
Scorn my smile I cannot
Shedding my burden, I stand

Future

Intangible

Harassing thoughts

Unravelling the present

Denying the past

Unknown

Future

Present

Incomprehensible

Seen but not known

Single minds see different

Patterns of the past

Misunderstood

Present

Past

Comforting

Lessons taught

Events, views argued

Memories decay

Fluid

Past

Time

Malleable

Slow and fast

Dependant on Thought

Rooted in life

Continuous

Time

We depend on time,

Time depends on us.

Tragic.

The trees with their mocking branches
Reaching ever upwards toward the sky
Knees on rough earth, cut deeply
The stone drinks blood and tears
The wind taunts both tree and earth
A laughing shriek as it weaves around
A form slumped motionless
Torn skin pressed without flinch
Movement in tears without cease
A tormented heart forever beating
Hands reaching for unheeded touch
The form would scream if only he could
There is nothing left to create this need
An empty shell is all that remains
A frame joined only by yearning
For a lifelong vanished
Best forgotten
If only
If only
Without the yearning
There is nothing
The earth would thirst
The branched would mock no more
And the wind would taunt dust
Only dust.

Spine on earth to see
sunlight watching back at me
lives and loves are fleeting
as breeze through unfurled leaves
a trunk may scar in storm
to heal and grow toward life
a tree never dies
whispers in the wind
even though it falls
to feeds growth anew
as joy must breed sorrow
peace born from war
to suffer is to live
for it is not life.

Walking wandering waiting watched
aimless within a maze of desire and fear
can't let go can't let go can't let go
won't survive to allow someone in
walls stretching to the sky ever building
as foundation shakes and crumbles
wings torn and tattered fly and fall in but one direction

Bending begging bleeding broken
gripped by certainty and fore knowing
can't hold on can't hold on can't hold on
nothing remains to sacrifice for
empty shell beneath painted mask
burning for reflection be become reality
face cracked and flaking
echoes bounce endless

Fighting fleeing falling failed
last gasp escapes twisted prison
can't get up can't get up can't get up
useless scrabble of crippled fingers
a coarse rejection in abject denial
for respite for a chance for a life
movement fades no more mask
a grimace replaced with a smile

And empty eyes stare forever.

a thousand sounds all around me
a clattering, cluttering cacophony
a thousand sounds all around me
none of them come near

an aura of silence grips the soul
and exhausting, suffocating choking
an aura of silence grips the soul
screaming but never heard

a taste of ashes in the mouth
a muffling, masticated mass
a taste of ashes in the mouth
teeth grinding into slivers

an emptiness within my heart
an awareness, agonising absence
an emptiness within my heart
terrified by echoes

a darkness grips my mind
an expression endlessly unseen
a darkness grips my mind
there will be no light again.

Strange how sanity
looks so very different
from the outside

A blizzard of faces flow through our minds

all so similar designed around central features

that draw in our emotion triggering memories

Faces that show our souls to the world

our innermost secrets

naked to all others



In those myriad of faces we can see the world

all the nobility of the human race the love the hope

also the terrifying the despair the anger

Faces show our souls to the world

our greatest strengths

our deplorable weaknesses

open to all



All these windows bring to me an avalanche of memory

love to light the world, hate to destroy

lust to add fire, hopelessness to darken

Faces show our souls to the world

through it all i wander amazed

transfixed by the life

that flows from us all



Our faces show that life is never-ending

the trial and tribulation mark us

as do the joy and happiness

Faces show our souls to the world

what can we choose?

my choice is to shine

and light my own way

Blood sings with agony

steals life with a terrible voice

while the hymns of melancholia

vibrate through the minds of those

mired in misery



Horrendous pain

infects the soul of man

bends away from the reality

that pain never heals

just bides in time



Grief overawes

the spirit of life

but what can we know

of love

without pain.



We burn in blood.

And so
here i stand
on the soft of the knife
choice to my side
the sudden stab of breathless agony
the slow slice that bleeds me dry
an endless dripping of my blood
drip drip drip
down the blade no matter where i turn
a love never expected has retreated
the steel remains here within me
drip drip drip
taunting my inability to move or decide
which pain to fall for
the slow burning edge
or the quick oblivion

and so
here i stand
on the soft of the knife.

A step a splash and water flies everywhere
Drops fly but in glistening fragments of lights
Peals of laughter shake the air with joyful music
They fade in time and then, silence
Alone once again on a well walked path
Trees on either side lean gentle in the wind
For a moment, only a moment the clouds that darken
Both the  mind and the sky are driven away
One action of spontaneous restless desire
Creating a smile that tunes into a laugh
To unleash the floodgates of  emotionless mirth
A quickly fading memory of childish humour
Though that moment, as brief as it is
Takes me in her arms and leaves behind a memory
To be held to and treasured, grinned at foolishly
For the light that shines on that random puddle
Is mine now, offered to live on in my mind
For i know it will be dark again, and soon
Thought to laugh for only an instant, a moment
In the childish way abandoned by adults
Is to give hope for a better world.

Wind blows softly over grass, caressing every blade
free to dance and love and sing
left to travel, float and fly, to visit every glade
adventuring across the globe in a glorious drifting fling
we are the same as the wind, if we choose to be
to live life freely, to love where we will
wandering forth with smiling mods glowing openly
overflowing hearts spilling endlessly as a poets scratching quill
Yes the wind is free, as we can be, though it will never know
what it means to stay still in a time and place
to get incredibly lost in a person, ignoring times flow
laying there still, silent and smiling, staring at your face
to be no longer needing to wander, curiosity paused
to be happy to live sights already lived, ecstatic i would say!
though all things fade, in sadness this is known and caused
all things move and change, all things drift away
there is pain in this, a hurt that digs and burns
and in this we know something the wind does not
that this love, through pain and wonder, this is for what we yearn!
Yes the wind is free, to see the earth and experience every jot
we are can find what the wind cannot, no matter where it flows
we can choose to be more then just a wind
and, by the gods, just watch us grow!

There is a quote out there
somewhere
that sums up exactly
how i feel
i haven't read it yet
and so
am left with only
my own words.

The soul knows no greater anguish
Then to take a breath
That begins in love
And ends in grief
In sunlit origins birthed
In forgotten nights surrended
But there are many pains
So many
They unfold as they will
And to dwell within them
Is to know nothing

Except, perhaps

In love grief is a promise
As sure as death
There will be many gardens
But this last one to visit
Is still
So very still
Not meant for lovers
Not meant for dreamers
Meant only for lonely figures
Standing in the dark
Taking a single breath

Doubting self
doubting mind
disbelieving thoughts unkind
pressures tapped
ideas are thrown
begging tropes to the unknown
knees are bent
back is arched
spare  me oh the screams are parched
a mind on fire
no light its dark
a thousand voices pour into the nightmare park
red staring
cease to cry
rivers pour from desert eyes
let me go
leave me be

leave me be