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2.5k · Feb 2015
Pen and Paper
statictitanic Feb 2015
Her blood lips and pale face was a moon in the night
He held her with gentle whispers of things unsaid between the two
The thick, dead silence of only living words
but death to strike them down with bullets hurting like swords
When they first met
He gave her a pen
She left him with words
He was her first
She was his first
A forbidden love
But she had to let him go
He couldn't take away the pain
She died with the words "You were my first, and only love, I love you"
The paper got lost in the wind.
And so did he.
2.5k · Oct 2014
Rumor
statictitanic Oct 2014
Built from emptiness
So toxic it can ****
Will you survive
this hell?
2.3k · Oct 2014
Sinned by Honesty
statictitanic Oct 2014
Her eyes danced with the tiny flames that held a secret
each growing brighter when they urged to yank
the oxygen from her heart and let the sparks console
the deep holes bursting with pleasure
She dabbles in the waves of fire and brimstone
The honey dipped arms monopolize the dry neck
Squeezing harder, and harder
The metallic taste of rust shoves in front her teeth
Her eyes beg to fall out to stop witnessing the desecration
She tries not to let the secret out
but her decomposed body bows down to the forensic earth
Lying in her death bed she knows
She tasted the burnt coals
And forgot to tell Adam
She won't see him in heaven.
2.2k · Nov 2014
Goodbye
statictitanic Nov 2014
I looked to a dead man's eye
I saw the smile of his chapped lips mingle with the burnt cigarettes around his crippled body
I saw the smile of desperation smack my hair and I let the rose fall from the cold felt tips of my gloves
I shuddered when he accepted the rose
I gasped when he spoke the forbidden words
A voice with no moisture, dry, and cracked
He said goodbye to me
and I dropped my cigarette, stepping on it
Killing the flame
I said "Goodbye Dad"
1.9k · Nov 2014
Ink
statictitanic Nov 2014
Ink
I live in the past to remember the inked flaws
1.8k · Oct 2015
Black Liquor
statictitanic Oct 2015
it stares at me confused
deep ink fills my soul and i'm getting darker and darker
i want to hold on to the rope but
the well holds the wishes of tarnished love
drink more and carry me over to the edge
deep ink fills my soul and i'm getting darker and darker
one more drink from sober eyes
i wanna see straight into your black, ugly eyes
and yell
i love you
i hate you
give me more black liquor.
lana del rey is my muse
1.8k · Aug 2015
Floating
statictitanic Aug 2015
She is a paradox
dead under the wholesome demeanor of honesty, beauty, and creativity
I find her sometimes underneath my darkest fears crawling up my throat
to express a voice of her own
I lock her in a prison of my own muffled screams
when no one is looking, I feed her one more rumor and insecurity
she is insatiable and I have lost my balance
The broken key is lodged in my throat and I am drowning in space
She is the paradox, that is me
Don't really like what I wrote, just typed what came into my mind. Errr, will have to come back and edit this later on
1.7k · Oct 2014
A Definition of Humanism
statictitanic Oct 2014
The crisis around the world shows
The most humanistic qualities we pose
The desensitization and ruins of peoples' innocence
We douse our money, power, and glory in the hands
Of a cold metal pistol, that barrels out to strike you down
The cool air whispers out the truth when you've taken your last breath
Knowing there is something more after death
You release yourself from this radioactive cage
You realize how close death hits home, and threatens
To break your fragile arteries
It's not the idea but the principal of humanism
We call ourselves human, more powerful
Above Nature's canvas and her life
We dwell in a place where we think we make the most out of things
Before Time decides where you shall lay
We are weak and powerful
We decide when it is right to fight
But when the casualties are written on one's arm
We decide to leave the world
A bloodier mess
1.6k · Oct 2014
Hidden NYC
statictitanic Oct 2014
In this city the bright lights can blind you
let you forget the rustic coins littered around the floor
caught by grimy hands belonging to a woman
she holds her life on a thin piece of cardboard
written in faded Sharpie

If you ever lose your way with the crowd
and stumble upon the empty alleyways
they possess cracked glass from beer bottles,
old shopping advertisements, broken toys
and the stench of trash mixed with lost hope realizing
the pavement isn't always perfect but littered with cracks

Walk further down and you will pass the rejected streets,
houses gone foreclosed and no remorse
all that matters is the country's history,
pressed on notorious green paper belonging to greedy hands
forgetting about the family that lost their house

Wait at the train station,
for the rumble and two yellow lights
The snake of a train claims passengers
trapping them between closed doors,
only allowing them to face their own misery
some escape with headphones
others just stare into the darkness with sunken eyes and drunken sighs

Walking home see the gum wrappers and dead leaves skid around
the soles of your worn shoes
Graffiti garage doors only display discarded art
And when the night is still
you can feel the empty consonants and vowels crawl up your legs
forming the unspoken words from unwanted voices that lay

Hidden under our feet.
In my creative expression class we read Italo Calvino's *Invisible Cities* and then we had to describe NYC, so this is just my piece. Hope you enjoyed it.
1.6k · Nov 2014
Body Langauge
statictitanic Nov 2014
I want you
to rip every vein from my skin
pull them out like worms from the ground
touch my blood
and **** in the pure guilt
I have drowned myself in
pull my teeth out
and drag them along my naked body
carve shapes into this dead, papery flesh
don't forget the ruby red lipstick
cake it onto my betraying, seductive lips
let your arms travel everywhere it pleases
yank my hair
grab the strands and brush them over my face
my finger nails, paint them white like purity
wrapped in the ****** Mary
Last, don't forget my
heart
Rip it from the connecting arteries
and let me feel the sting
and watch your hands too, tinted in my beautiful red

I am your canvas
I am your doll
I am your **** that
Nobody will ever know
Because under all this...
I'm dead.
1.2k · Oct 2014
Mocking Mother
statictitanic Oct 2014
Mother you never wanted me
The truth slipped between the space between your teeth
You tried so hard to bite free from the leash
Stabbing a heart wasn't much damage
Well done Mother, well done
But you failed once again
Sorry after all these years,
You see I walk on a thin piece of hair
I might slip and land in my own dark abyss
Don't worry I wont struggle when my hands loose grip
8 years slapped to my lips
The ivory bars a tattoo on my face
I start to itch between my fingers,
The chalk beneath my feet
More innocent than your regrets
You're close, you're close
Under your skinless feet your walking uncharted territory
Smoke signals coming from your cigarette whispers
Pressure me to crack my dry skin
The bitter taste threatens to come out
I hear a tick, a tick
You don't carry boulders of maternity and promises
You don't seem to care anymore
Your scent of deception and stuck up nights
Did the price of prostitution pay off right?
Mother, mother I can finally hear you
The hate, the price of your sins
8 years gone paper bonds paid
Mother you're no where here
Mother mother all this time
I held the truth on the tip of my tongue
The lies written all over my smile
Mother, mother you sick ****, I'll see you when the rose blossoms.
1.1k · Feb 2015
Girl Gone, God Gone
statictitanic Feb 2015
She was always strange and confused
in a state of ambivalence
where is God and where is my mind?
why can't I see what's in front of me? Why am I following my own destiny, yet also following the streets people paved for me?
She didn't want to wait anymore for reckless answers that didn't make any sense to her at all.
So
She walked in front of a train to see the end of her tunnel
1.0k · Nov 2014
My Words
statictitanic Nov 2014
Sarcasm, the only language I speak, to hide my flaws.
1.0k · Nov 2014
Silence
statictitanic Nov 2014
There is a room.
Dark red walls.
Priceless sofas.
Expensive chandeliers.
There is a gun nestled in the arm of a sofa.
There is a cigarette dying on an ash tray.
The lights flicker on and off.
Too quiet.
The man comes in the room.
The girl is waiting.
She is wearing her pale grey dress.
He takes the gun.
And shoots her in the head.
Everything is normal again.
907 · Jan 2015
Acceptance
statictitanic Jan 2015
Pursed lips and oxygen slowly drips
from lips that were dyed red
with little, parasite lies
I consumed you whole and
the corpse you leave behind
is your true identity
of who you really were
a selfish *******.
876 · Apr 2015
Lost
statictitanic Apr 2015
I'm scared, lost, and tumbling
Tripping on my shoes that were never tied
Walking blind.
Bollywood movies flickering,
Warm greeting during Eid, putting on my best
The innocence of not knowing what was ahead but still swimming into uncharted waters  

The times we ran past the security guards wearing the shoes of adolescence
how we sung high voices, breaking the silence and laughing away the drowned voices and the dead that were never able to cling to us
the colors got burned but the door was still colored against the tree of stupidity; in between the houses we walked through old trash and a bare bed to look back at our acts of defiance
We got high on the words we slurred that meant friendship to us
Walking home everyday until the point where we had to part ways at Woodhaven Boulevard

Now, now, now I hate that word
I'm the only one walking alone; cracked pavements, and potholes steer me from what was always the path to fantasy and the youth
I'm growing older, and older and I know
The key is slipping from sweaty finger tips and I have to choose the right door
My mind has gotten sober from the future in my head to the reality that stops me with its red light
Time is so small and I haven't still found faith and I'm searching walking back to the same intersection, empty handed but finding scathed pennies and hungry dreams greet the soles of my torn shoes
People will leave me and I can't stop them

Why, why, why
Did I hit the walls that were so far apart but now make a square around me pushing and jamming me against the bricks
I want to see past the mist and know the truth
Is it written on my palms or held in my hands where I can clutch it or let go of it

Slowly faces of ordinary are falling under 6 feet and I have to carry the dirt on my back and remember there is a future
A future I'm scared of welcoming
and I get lost and lost in my own fears and swallowing the guilt of not believing and falling to honey dreams only waiting to be stung by a bee
The bee dies
Leaving me lost at Woodhaven Boulevard
This was a bit personal because I'm going through this thing where I realize people will leave and I can't stop this but I don't know who will be able to stay and who will remember me. I fear the future a lot because my fantasies and reality are getting sober and I want to let go of the past but I also don't want to either.
718 · Oct 2014
Drowsy Dead Man
statictitanic Oct 2014
The crawling spiders follow me everyday
And if I were to tell you the inaudible words
They would simply fall to the ground
Like the particles of dust the sun's rays try to make visible
You would crush the consonants and vowels in one swift step
With the stilettos you love too much
You bare the pain it brings from walking through peoples' misery
It was my fault, but she would tell you different
Maybe I was really scared of living and not dying
I awaited the news, the November day
Clouding my judgement with chilly leaves tainted red
The news came 7 minutes after admittance at the hospital
It took 12 minutes for the ambulance to come
and 6 seconds for the accident to happen
I couldn't think straight my ears too blurry to capture the words in a place of antiseptic smell
They were trying to clear away the sickness the death but fell short when it hit the head
It takes longer to save lives then **** them
And I was the murderer, I was trying to save them both
Her emerald green eyes and the smirk that are permanent in my eyes
I never got to see the child, boy or girl
Waiting for the world but I closed all chances
The news penetrated my body and I was on the floor
Asking for a God to take me too
But this was my penance and I was left alone
Premature, her death too premature
I walk the same path
Your stilettos are getting longer in inches
The visibility is clearer in your eyes
The drunken pain and emotion
My job is done here.
700 · Aug 2015
Dance
statictitanic Aug 2015
I think it's my fault
I put myself in this position
The greedy, beady crow eyes are lost as I dance for them
I always loved dancing
Light on my feet, perfect posture, and very flexible
There are only so many ways to feed a stomach and landlord
I love dancing, I love the staring eyes
I know they won't look away
My legs wrap around the pole and
The curves of my body indent the minds of wandered souls
Far from home
I balance myself well and when I know I have captured the crowd
I forget the reason for my dancing and see
Only the stage and applauding hands.
I am not a *******.
I am a dancer
683 · Nov 2014
Fallen
statictitanic Nov 2014
I always was a strange girl,
Never having a tight grip on reality,
Escaping the gravity of sanity
Keeping my head in the clouds,
Never certain if my feet remained on the ground

Upon the innocent clouds,
I explored this new Garden of Eden,
and found you
Bearing a rain cloud
In the darkest part of the sky,
You were only a lonely boy,
A fallen angel,
Stuck between the bounded Earth and---
The kaleidoscope of stars

Wherever you chose to roam
Perfection would be concealed by flaws
The stars above; burning and untamed
Up in the sky in its sanity of perfect insanity
Just twinkling little specs
To fill the big void
of black
Emptiness

You taught me sanity is best judged by those who lack it,
and like that,
Your heavenly figure,
Was all I thought was right

Our love blossomed
like a cherry tree
We inked the Twilight sky with hues of--
pink purity, violet passion, and crimson red
Like a rose,
but
With a thorn

Like a thorn, you cut my heart
And a ******, red dawn appeared
I realized you were just a demon in my safest haven,
I fell from the Garden,
Falling back into a cage,
All you left behind,
a single, black feather

The sky erupted,
Clouds letting emotions free,
rain drowning all the life on Earth
Killing the cherry tree
And me.
627 · Oct 2014
NYC and Secrets
statictitanic Oct 2014
It's the flame that burns through each layer of skin
if you resist, you can try to save yourself from these sins
It's bottled upon the top cabinet, to the right, in the left side of the kitchen,
next to the cabinet there's a window
letting the hazy skyline fill in the unspoken words from your lips
You can try to conceal these wrongs, drink away this burning flame
but the ashes will always remain.
Look, and walk around, the cursive words
scribbled on the doors of bathroom stalls
abandoned buildings to sinful to care who desecrates them any further
Soon, you don't have to see but hear
the drying throat, hope to swallow more doubt into the pit of hell.
The longer you bear this pain, the more time will reach its last hour
and when the world has shut the door on your face
leaving you in limited space
these secrets will be written on your arsenic bones
and all that will remain is the secrets heavy in the New York air.
585 · Nov 2014
One More
statictitanic Nov 2014
One more
One more cigarette
One more dream
I can only fiddle with my hands
The paper is frail and rolled between my fingers
The dead skin around my nails and the words permanent on my heart
One more
One more time to reach the end of the cherry road
Can we have a proper goodbye?
You make your decisions with lips
Lips that faded into my skin
They left with sins
One more
One more world to open my eyes too
I can ignore the pain for so long
Before the paper falls from the fingertips
And into my reflection in the water.

One more
One more truth so I can be free.
570 · Nov 2014
A Confession
statictitanic Nov 2014
Callous hands grasp my heart
I am intertwined in your misery to love
The deep slumber from heaven calls you
But I don't want you to let go
Promise me you will remember me
When I am long under the soles of feet pressing the dirt unto my casket
And even when I'm gone you will hold my hand
Callous hands, now tinged with fear
559 · Nov 2014
Me
statictitanic Nov 2014
Me
The words, painted on my face, but blind to everyone.
550 · Aug 2015
Dear Sir.
statictitanic Aug 2015
It's funny how you think the world revolves around you
You twirl that ***** finger and you, my notorious boy, are caught
Clearly you haven't gotten the message
You cannot toy with something that cannot be fixed
But you, you always liked breaking things that do not belong to you
Oh the joy it brings you
To crumple up the love letters, random inside jokes and sincerity
To dump it on her and pop the balloon that brings her down
You ignorant, arrogant, *******, ******* ******
Do you not understand when she tells you love is a dart game and she has given all her darts to test your trust
All you do is throw the darts blindfolded, knowing every part of her body, and realizing you have pinned her under your feet
Why would you do this, if she has poured the truth she could not hide from her love
Why would you be so blind to go forth and show her the hard way
That you are not the one
And even long after you're done, you go back to her, to see if her wound still burns from the salty tears that dripped from her worn out eyes
I would like to thank you for showing what love was
Because you were the perfect example of what it can never be
527 · Oct 2014
NYC and Words
statictitanic Oct 2014
The paper is empty
blank, white, fragile
But the city is impossible to color
Each part of this picture requires specific, individualism
the smell of nuts sold in the small vendor carts
The words 5th Ave written on a street sign
but pronounced like its on a plaque
The rush of hot air when the train rushes away
warming you on days nature places her cold, bitter burden over you
Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens
heard on the news too often
No need to film movies here,
when the movie is the one we are in, and the wounds are real
Staten Island, forgotten most times
Hazy and far, isolated from everyone
And then there's Manhattan
clean streets but flawed history in the sidewalk

There's too much going on
I still don't know what to write
In this bustling city
A pen is not enough
So I leave my paper empty and let the blankness tell the story of
New York
518 · Oct 2014
Therapy Sessions
statictitanic Oct 2014
The first time it happened, I was 12. Small hint of desperation reeked from the mouth of tainted white lies. The hushed voices of angels welcoming God to this play. Slick grey stains written on the pavement tracing a skyline littered with empty hate no one was to blame for. He went for the face and yelled, “You lying, cheating, *****!” The sting vibrated and her voice yelled words falling from a pistol. The sad facade of sanity slipped away and the forbidden fruit fell. When “enough” was reaching its limits he delivered the last blow, sent the teary face belonging to mum across the stripped walls. The rag doll silhouette fell and all I heard was the thunder hit the ground, it started raining and my tears crumbled the grey skyline.
The second time it happened I was 15. My brother, he died. Sick ******* didn't even try to say goodbye, left with the last blink and never opened his eyes. Unfortunately, there weren't enough pills labeled, “Stress Relief when Your Mum is Killed by Loving Daddy,” to relieve the malignant pain. The little clouds in his head got heavy with acid rain; it was time for the powder white, sugar rush, ******* to eat away his mind. Drugs or “drugs” either way too much of an overdose; all misguided directions when he was birthed. Each pill wasn't closer to hell he told me. He was floating on his own cloud to catch God and ask his passage to hell to see if it was better than his current “paradise.” My father didn't care, his principle method, supply and demand. More pills, more bills. I prayed everyday to this God, one day the father would breathe one last breath of oxygen and stop the pollution. However, the coin flipped and it was my brother who left me with empty pill bottles.
The third time. There was no third time. I didn't stomach this feeling well, like having a gallon of water on an empty stomach. This feeling, I don’t know, I don’t know what to call it. I put the bullet to his head trigger set. We breathe the same air of memories, drink my mother’s homemade bottle of liquor each sip bitter than the first. My brother’s medications hit our noses; a dose of reality doesn't mix well with sanity. The little pistol in my hand, the pistol I earned, I can taste and feel the drizzle on the pavement the smell of metal and rain thickens the fog in my head. I close my eyes, shoot.
Silence.
I see the thick crimson, blood molested by the devils, he is put to bed.
This is when I find my sanity.
467 · Jan 2015
Delivered the Speech
statictitanic Jan 2015
Sometimes I can't find words to say
they get lost in the passage of thoughts, and imagination
its like I ****** on a lemon
the sour details are pushed to the pit of the darkest hole
But someway, somehow I need to tell you
My lips are betraying you
I need to rush it out of me
So it feels less like a disease
I have cancer.
462 · Oct 2014
Misery
statictitanic Oct 2014
The twisted truth escapes your mind
when you’re intoxicated with the lies
You can't run, hide beneath the black sheets that console you
You are cold, alone, nowhere to go
Emptiness boiling your blood to release the virus
But once upon a time, a few tragic lives ago
You remember the whispering wind
Light that tolerated the unforgettable future at the palm of your hands
Simple happiness seen through the transparent smiles
So foolish to think this desecrated world would grant mercy to feelings
And then your stuck once again, the mosaic stained glass shapes like an hourglass carving distance faster
The few seconds to feel when the Utopian world slips and
cuts you like a paper cut
So you remember picturesque scene but not a perfect world
447 · Oct 2014
Language
statictitanic Oct 2014
I walk through the streets smiling
They don't know anything
Pastel lipstick and white teeth
They really can't see
And they wouldn't ever believe
I'm dying inside
Because I can't play this charade any longer

But for know I'll smile
And force my tongue to let out
the bitter lies.
352 · Aug 2019
Fades
statictitanic Aug 2019
Like the blues in the denim
Wash after wash
We draw on new layers even when
our being is stripped apart.
And it takes more than a deep swallow
of nothing and more
and it takes more than a hard fist
that grips at nothing and more
We just want to be desired but
shades of grey we all become
291 · Apr 2018
State of unclear
statictitanic Apr 2018
It was ringing in my ear
I don't understand
The room
Emptying thoughts into the crevices of the mind
Thinking
Thinking
I dip my toes under the sheets and

— The End —