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statictitanic Apr 2018
It was ringing in my ear
I don't understand
The room
Emptying thoughts into the crevices of the mind
Thinking
Thinking
I dip my toes under the sheets and
statictitanic Oct 2015
it stares at me confused
deep ink fills my soul and i'm getting darker and darker
i want to hold on to the rope but
the well holds the wishes of tarnished love
drink more and carry me over to the edge
deep ink fills my soul and i'm getting darker and darker
one more drink from sober eyes
i wanna see straight into your black, ugly eyes
and yell
i love you
i hate you
give me more black liquor.
lana del rey is my muse
The very air is clung to,
With the whispers of summer,
Held in the gentle breaths,
Of a child-drawn swirl in crayons,
Are the smells of salt and sand between toes,
And the smiles of bathing,
Or basking in rare glimpses of sun,
Which disguise the one hollow rejected truth,
That this day won't last forever.
statictitanic Aug 2015
I think it's my fault
I put myself in this position
The greedy, beady crow eyes are lost as I dance for them
I always loved dancing
Light on my feet, perfect posture, and very flexible
There are only so many ways to feed a stomach and landlord
I love dancing, I love the staring eyes
I know they won't look away
My legs wrap around the pole and
The curves of my body indent the minds of wandered souls
Far from home
I balance myself well and when I know I have captured the crowd
I forget the reason for my dancing and see
Only the stage and applauding hands.
I am not a *******.
I am a dancer
statictitanic Aug 2015
It's funny how you think the world revolves around you
You twirl that ***** finger and you, my notorious boy, are caught
Clearly you haven't gotten the message
You cannot toy with something that cannot be fixed
But you, you always liked breaking things that do not belong to you
Oh the joy it brings you
To crumple up the love letters, random inside jokes and sincerity
To dump it on her and pop the balloon that brings her down
You ignorant, arrogant, *******, ******* ******
Do you not understand when she tells you love is a dart game and she has given all her darts to test your trust
All you do is throw the darts blindfolded, knowing every part of her body, and realizing you have pinned her under your feet
Why would you do this, if she has poured the truth she could not hide from her love
Why would you be so blind to go forth and show her the hard way
That you are not the one
And even long after you're done, you go back to her, to see if her wound still burns from the salty tears that dripped from her worn out eyes
I would like to thank you for showing what love was
Because you were the perfect example of what it can never be
statictitanic Aug 2015
She is a paradox
dead under the wholesome demeanor of honesty, beauty, and creativity
I find her sometimes underneath my darkest fears crawling up my throat
to express a voice of her own
I lock her in a prison of my own muffled screams
when no one is looking, I feed her one more rumor and insecurity
she is insatiable and I have lost my balance
The broken key is lodged in my throat and I am drowning in space
She is the paradox, that is me
Don't really like what I wrote, just typed what came into my mind. Errr, will have to come back and edit this later on
statictitanic Apr 2015
I'm scared, lost, and tumbling
Tripping on my shoes that were never tied
Walking blind.
Bollywood movies flickering,
Warm greeting during Eid, putting on my best
The innocence of not knowing what was ahead but still swimming into uncharted waters  

The times we ran past the security guards wearing the shoes of adolescence
how we sung high voices, breaking the silence and laughing away the drowned voices and the dead that were never able to cling to us
the colors got burned but the door was still colored against the tree of stupidity; in between the houses we walked through old trash and a bare bed to look back at our acts of defiance
We got high on the words we slurred that meant friendship to us
Walking home everyday until the point where we had to part ways at Woodhaven Boulevard

Now, now, now I hate that word
I'm the only one walking alone; cracked pavements, and potholes steer me from what was always the path to fantasy and the youth
I'm growing older, and older and I know
The key is slipping from sweaty finger tips and I have to choose the right door
My mind has gotten sober from the future in my head to the reality that stops me with its red light
Time is so small and I haven't still found faith and I'm searching walking back to the same intersection, empty handed but finding scathed pennies and hungry dreams greet the soles of my torn shoes
People will leave me and I can't stop them

Why, why, why
Did I hit the walls that were so far apart but now make a square around me pushing and jamming me against the bricks
I want to see past the mist and know the truth
Is it written on my palms or held in my hands where I can clutch it or let go of it

Slowly faces of ordinary are falling under 6 feet and I have to carry the dirt on my back and remember there is a future
A future I'm scared of welcoming
and I get lost and lost in my own fears and swallowing the guilt of not believing and falling to honey dreams only waiting to be stung by a bee
The bee dies
Leaving me lost at Woodhaven Boulevard
This was a bit personal because I'm going through this thing where I realize people will leave and I can't stop this but I don't know who will be able to stay and who will remember me. I fear the future a lot because my fantasies and reality are getting sober and I want to let go of the past but I also don't want to either.
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