Snowflakes melt in the palm of my hand
No matter how hard I try to prevent it
Droplets slip through my fingers

This is New York in the Fall

Could I have a snow globe to store this feeling - awhile?
I’d like to hold on a moment longer
Could I have a flicker of warmth to duel this cold – awhile?
When dark days crash through

This is New York in the Fall

I stand at a crossroad
Fearful of being left behind
I don’t want to be stranded on the side of the road
Waiting for time to stop
Wishing snowflakes would Freeze!
As if I was 10 again playing a game of wax museum
I’m not ready to give up
When I’m certain I’ll win
In time

This is New York in the Fall

Walked in, showed up out of the blue
wait, waIT,WAIT!
Black feathers fall on marble floor
Elegant, the way he wants to end it all
get out, get OUT, GET OUT!
We fell to the floor
Held on tight as he sobbed
Wanting to forget it all
Held on tight to the enemy

This is New York in the Fall

Said he knew of unrequited love
But he knew nothing
Of impossible things
So, don’t bother with breakfast
If you can’t be bothered to return these feelings
Open-Close-Door

This is New York in the Fall

The shower was running
When he entered the room dripping wet
Caught by surprise and exposed
Well? Kisses on my lips left me startled
Why is it he can’t return this unrequited love?

He is New York in the Fall

The feeling inside is that of a broken clock
The second hand isn’t ticking
Time has your lungs paralyzed
But even so, at least twice a day you feel like yourself
And you can breathe for a second
Before you lose it all, again

Most would throw a broken clock away
Upgrade to a digital with a million other uses
Instead of replacing the batteries
Or taking it to the horologist
It’s rare that anyone who would pass it on the road
Would turn around to spare it a second glance
No one has time for a broken clock

It’s easy to lose track of time when you’re busy;
When you’re having fun; when you’re in love;
When you feel something other than a roller coaster of emotions
In your mind you wonder how did the screws fall loose?
Nothing makes sense in nightmares
Where images of pink one-eyed monsters chase you down the hall
But time never seems to pass
And somehow you find yourself falling through an hourglass
But the ending always finds you waking up
Broken, staring at a clock

On a wooden table nested between purple flowers
A little cup of coffee sits
By a window perched on a bar stool
Fiddling with the cup, in the palms of her hands, sits a girl

She woke up this morning in a hurry to meet you
Took 3 buses to get to you
Because you made plans weeks ago, but you never showed up
And now this girl is left hopelessly thinking
“What’s the rush to being rejected?”

The barista came by, asked her if she was waiting on someone
No one important
because waiting on you is like reading the same paragraph three times
And never understanding a single word
They asked her if she’d like another cup, anything to eat
She can see the pity in their eyes
They can see past her faux smile
She doesn’t have an appetite, but accepts another cup

They filled it to the brim
Maybe its warmth will fill the cold inside her chest

Many stand on the side lines
Take the small steps and get left behind
Others seem to rush through life
They have every moment planned
But never take a moment to hit the pause
And see the beautiful unfolding of
Who they’ve come to be

With a new age, comes new page to wake up in
And I can only hope I get to wake up in yours
Till we’re 97, sitting on a park bench
Feeding the birds on a Monday morning
Complaining it’s too cold & we’re too cold
Saying all the little things we’ve said a million times
And all the things we didn’t say
Because we don’t have much time before we run out of pages
And you need to know all the little things I didn’t say
These 365 days

Like everything inside you
That you can’t see
I see

Like how I should know you by now
But I know nothing about you
Because you’re always changing
But that only makes you
That much more interesting


Because I cherish all these small moments
These 365 days with you

I’m sure there have been days you wish to erase
I only ask you never erase me from your life
Because I’m sure someday we’ll be fighting
Coming undone in a wildfire
But I have no doubt that
We’ll get home safely
Cause there’s always an exit on the highway
And if you can’t drive
I’ll drive us home

Because I don’t want to be
365 days without you

Have you known? Awhile

In coffee shops I sit for hours
Trying to compose a symphony  
As eloquent as the words on the pages of the novels I’ve read
But nothing comes
Sweet Lullabies - I hear
Black Swans
Float away

I’ve seen the way the light hit the maple
Small delicate bites across the table
I’ve been waiting for summer days like this
Hoping to be inspired
But nothing comes
Sweet Lullabies - I hear
Black Swans
Float away

She smiled at me
I smiled back
The words echoed through
A slap to the face and I woke up
Sweet Lullabies - I hear
Black Swans
Float away


So underneath a chandelier of forgotten hours is where I’ll be
Surrounded by open windows staring through me
Dancing on a cloud of thorns and bleeding ashes on my tattered pink dress
Wondering “Does it make a difference?”
After all, I was promised your undivided attention
As soon as you walked through those doors and took your seat
The lights dimmed, the curtains rose
I came out, ready
Yet my movements were ignored
My voice forgotten
My masterpiece shattered;
Sweet Lullabies - I hear
Black Swans
Float away

Maybe I could live with an empty chest
Would that be so bad?
Maybe my heart could just follow me around like a ball and chain
Until I found a new one
I’m starting to wonder
Would a new heart even fit?

For 64 days I played a game of "Truth or Dare"
Cross my heart, beg to die
This is the confession of a broken heart
That sacrificed it's sanity for a steamy love affair

Now, I sit by the window wishing I had had a crystal ball
because it'd  have saved me a century of torment
Knowing I wasn't your knight in shining armour
It'd have saved me a century of screaming
Instead I watched Atlantis vanish
My pretty, perfect, paradise turned to ash

In my fantasies
We're still in the attic staring at it
The picture of broken love
Holding on to a hope, so cold
I should let go, but I'm paralyzed
Covered in apprehension that we'd survive
And come down from the attic
I am convinced, I'm staring at it
The picture of true love
but true love left, walked out the door
and it's all my fault and if I was honest
I'd admit it's over

Hello, unhappily ever after
Thoughts that refuse me to let me sleep
I remember when I first saw you
I ran out of words
I lost my breathe as butterflies erupted
I couldn’t resist entering the maelstrom despite the warnings
This is my odyssey
I couldn't resist the enchanting music
I thought I could take it
I wanted to be imprisoned
I never knew something so beautiful could be so dangerous

But in my fantasies
We're still in the attic staring at it
The picture of broken love
Holding on to a hope so cold
I should let go, but I'm paralyzed
Covered in apprehension that we'd survive
And come down from the attic
I am convinced, I'm staring at it
The picture of true love
but true love left, walked out the door
and it's all my fault and if I was honest
I'd admit it's over

I still want to be your ***** little secret
The thing you write your love songs about
But I'm nothing more than a wilting February song
Lost in the bitter, biting, bleak winter air
Because you were never mine
And every day I woke up alone, lying to myself
That I could live with empty arms
Instead of a soft lullaby
I scream words of a banshee

Inject me with your love, baby
Give me your love, honey
Fill me with lush tender dreams
Make cotton, candy, clouds rain sweet sugars of incandescent ecstasy
Just give me what I need because underneath I’m breaking

But in my fantasies
We're still in the attic staring at it
The picture of broken love
Holding on to a hope so cold
I should let go, but I'm paralyzed
Covered in apprehension that we'd survive
And come down from the attic
I am convinced, I'm staring at it
The picture of true love
but true love left, walked out the door
and it's all my fault and if I was honest
I'd admit it's over

You need to tell me if you feel the things I do
Your hard exterior, your indecisions are making me wonder
If it’s worth staying up until 3 am
To meet you for our  little rendezvous
But I'm tired of sleeping with the enemy
A person I can't recognize  
Take off the mask, end this façade
Stop blaming me for losing yourself
When you got caught up in someone you invented

But in my fantasies
We're still in the attic staring at it
The picture of broken love
Holding on to a hope so cold
I should let go, but I'm paralyzed
Covered in apprehension that we'd survive
And come down from the attic
I am convinced, I'm staring at it
The picture of true love
but true love left, walked out the door
and it's all my fault and if I was honest
I'd admit it's over

I admit
It's over
Our masterpiece has crumbled beneath your feet
Turned to ash, you left the remains in my chest
Because none of it was real
It was just a game of "Truth or Dare"
But I was never given the truth
So I dare you to tell me the truth
But you refuse
But that won't stop me from sleeping tonight
Without nightmares, without shadows
In my fantasies

I don’t know how to love you. I’m not going to love you.
I won’t love you.
But I can kiss you
I can hold you when thunder yells.
I’ll reach deep down inside of you and rip out the knife that’s embedded just under your heart, that knife that has been causing you agony all your life.
I’ll take care of you
I’ll whisper the secrets the butterflies keep
I’ll touch you like you’re a fragile glass rose, but I won’t keep you behind glass walls.
I’ll destroy the mirror spitting Red all over your skin.
I’ll make you breakfast in bed
I’ll make you laugh, just don’t ask me to love you.
Don’t ask me to make you happy.
I don’t know how to do those things.
I can’t love you like you want me to.
I don’t know how to love you.

December has a blistering passion
It nips at your skin with a mutual disdain
Harsh wind dances with silver crystals
Things are spiraling out of control
It must be a dream, held together by a fine thread
Tears are forced back as three little words are uttered “worthless”
Words of venom pouring out, with anger, onto a chapped surface
You’re world is shattered, now you stand alone
at the train station

It’s been a week since the confrontation
Unconsciously, your arms extend to hold a sleeping lover
They meet cold unmade sheets
Drenched with their intoxicating aroma
You no longer have the urge to get out of bed
Because no one stands by the stove for you to wrap your arms around
No one is in the kitchen making breakfast
No one will greet you with a kiss

Now, you stand on the balcony
A blanket of snow falling on your shoulders
A sharp breathe of air gnaws through the ache in your chest
It blisters your lungs with a bitter, bolstering burn  
It’s intolerable how patterns being to emerge
No matter how it starts, it always ends the same
Obliterating how it’s bewitching
To miss the sunflowers is to miss the forget-me-nots
So you close your eyes as the sheets are pulled above your head
And try to get away from December

You’re forced out of bed today
Convinced to go skating
Blades slide across the ice
Let it take control as you watch people walk by
They carry shopping bags
Would the perfect gift get them back?
Your chest constricts unnaturally
It’s time to go home, time to forget December