suicide is never the easy way out
it seems like it is
but it never is
you'll leave behind a wave of pain
a hurt that will rob everyone of a certain kind of happiness
it will cause others to ache deep within
they'll never repair themselves
your sadness will be theirs **forever

Drink
Drank*
Drunk
Trying to forget your face
but I can still see it in
the bottom of ***** bottles

you will never stop growing
and growing
and growing
and growing
*until you reach the sun

Why isn't it a fairytale?
Why is it a horror show?

can i get a deathbed for one?
and that’s not just a metaphor
i know it looked like i was getting better
but this has been a long time coming
i always said that i wanted to die young to save myself

Someone once asked me what it felt like to be depressed.
I replied "I don't know"
Someone once asked me what it felt like to be depressed.
I replied "it's like drowning while someone stands two inches away from you screaming just swim"
Someone once asked me what it felt like to be depressed.
I replied "like an empty dark void"
Someone once asked me what it felt like to be depressed.
I replied "it feels like I'm screaming for help but everyone has me on mute"

She danced in the midnight light
The night engulfing her
Her love came in waves
*A goddess of lost souls

was it optional for you to do that?
for you to pretend to care
care about the stars
the moon
the milky way
was it optional for you to just pick what time was best
to tear me to shreds
3:12PM
6:48AM
12:02AM
11:12PM
was it an option
or did you plan this

My parents fell out of love
I don't remember when it happen but it did
One day they held each other
Then the next day they held each other at the throat
I promised I'd never let that happen to me
I'd love with my whole being
I'd rot away with my lover into a next life
Letting the sweet feeling get trapped in my bones

words flow from my mind to the tips of my fingers
first jumbled on the page, slowly fixing themselves
you, the reader soak up my words, digest them
giving the words a meaning, you bring my words to life
taking in the love that i've left on the page

you left a bittersweet taste in my mouth
that i can't seem to rinse out
moon dust covers my room
and it makes me
miss you in the most peculiar way

I'm a shipwreck
Not a traditional wreck
No I'm shipwrecked on the beach
My lungs are full of sand
The sun is burning my eyes
I can't see the world around me
I don't want to go down with this ******* ship

So tired
So so so tired
5
10
15
20
hours of sleep
Chasing depression with a dream of better days

I'm not great with words
I left behind a morse code instead
hoping, praying
someone would find my SOS

you stole my heart out of my chest
and sold it to the highest bidder
make sure to tell them to hide it under the floorboards
and to wait until the man with the raven come to the door
he’ll be the one saying nevermore
nevermore
*nevermore

Depression ft anxiety
its one hell of a show
ups and downs
you can binge watch it for days
weeks
months
**even years

i've died 1000 times
climbed to the top of every mountain and jumped off
eaten a cyanid pill
played in traffic with my eyes closed
waltzed with the devil in the middle of hell
but none of those compare to dying in your arms
drowning in your exquisite love

Lying dormant for years
Hiding from shame and blame
The sun is slowly setting
Shunning the world that now sits in ruins
Loved ones are out of reach now
There's no more time for hiding
You have to fight back
**The time is now

do you hear that?
that sickly sweet siren song?
she's singing to you
begging you to join her

The moonbeams cascade over me and wash me out.
Allowing me to become a silhouette, simply fading away.
The sea salt air wraps around me and whips my hair around me.
Walking into December ocean, my blood freezes.
A ghost smile forms on my face relishing in the last moments of life
The water is up to my neck and I can't feel my finger tips anymore
Taking one last look at the moon, allowing the bright moonbeams stream down on me. The wind blows and I allow it to push me into the frozen ocean. My lungs fill with salt water and my hair floats around me but I can still feel the sweet moonbeams on my frozen skin.

Fuzzy and warm
The feeling spilling over my whole being
Drinking to forget
Forgetting to drink
*Warm wine filling the spaces you once called home

every night I go to bed with my woes
I try to tell myself that this place I'm in is just temporary
but is it?
trying to exist in a void is like
trying to find a metaphor for depression
trying to reason with myself to search for something more
but I'm just a weeping ghost trying to disappear into the abyss for the last time.

remember that night i had a panic attack in your room?
you to told me that my eyes could use some sleep
but instead
i let go of the idea of being anything at all that night
and
anxiety settled into my bones that night
i ache
i ache
i ache so ******* much