I know him as a man
who doesn't have a heart
yet he could make me
love him so much
I give away mine
just so he has one

such a forgetful person that I am
forgetting important things
I never forget about you though
but I just forget that you never care

lead the way, my darling
down to hell and suffering
I won't feel anything
cause you're that something

you're the virus
on which I have
no immunity to

since this will be the last time,
do me a favor;
tell me you love me
put your whole heart in it
and scream the sentence gently
until I can hear the lie
echoes louder than any truth
I wish not to believe in

the end is drawing near
following the love I kept hidden
got itself even more clear
but no place in the future
ever write a slightest hope
about you being in love with me
and I'm running out of cure
for another heartbreak

believe me, we were so close
we've never been that close before
cause he always shut the door at me
but tonight, something changed;

we were so close, very close
I was able to see my silhouette
staring back at me inside his pupils
while I tried my best to read his mind

we were so close, too close to be true
cause this is the very first time,
if he was a house, for a blink moment,
he let me stood inside his living room

thump, thump
his heart knocked my cheek
and softly, I heard it speaks
about one's love in chrysalis
waiting in time to be released

whenever he walks through the door,
he makes the room lit brighter than the times square
and I am a tiny girl with her sweater and big dreams
captivated by his billboard-flashy-smile

“You’re not mine,” I tell myself—everyday
Then you put a deep kiss on my lips
“You’re not mine,” I repeat myself
Then you spoon me like a blanket
“You’re not mine,” my voice shakes
Then you brush my hair gently and smile
“You’re not mine,” my eyes are wet
Then you speak my name like it was made from your voice
And my mind went blank—my heart forgot to beat
But it whispered softly, “I’m yours”

you are what people call magic
while I'm everything tragic

and this is so dangerous because
he is the moon and I'm a mortal girl
who landed on top of him
foolishly taking her space mask off
just to kiss his birthday cake lips
and die

my point is
he's impossibly cute
and looks as if he jumped out
of shoujo manga

the right thing to do
the right thing to say
a hand to reach out to
a heart promises to stay

the present he gave me
represents himself in my eyes;
a storyline I've always wanted to read,
the mystery on each page
I've been dying to unfold,
and the love in every word
I've been wishing upon a star for

do you know why
I'd be the biggest fool
if I ever let you slip away?
cause you're that person
who can make the starlight
dances on your skin
even in the darkest night

I never understand what love is
until my name answered
only to your voice

it's true that my lungs tightened up
filled with butterflies and flowers
when you put a perfect curve on your lips
and you know, you know I'm in love
but what you don't know is;
I've been in love just like this before
and before, he crushed me
cause he knocked and I let him in
now
now it won't happen again
I will never let you in

how can I not
fall for him
when his charm
illuminates
the sweetest sin;
even the angels
change their minds

if a flower blooms each time
my heart is falling for you
then I will turn this world
into a kaleidoscopic garden

he blinked, he smiled, he looked like the sky
so blue, yet new, the highest intensity of hue
I lived inside the blackest silence for so long
now everything lights up like a love song

let's put it this way;
if you give me a chocolate cake
and a bunch of last night's leftovers
I will frantically eat both
because I love you
for your better
and your worst

while I lay half asleep on the bed,
I have a blurry vision in my head;
you in white and big smile
while I take steps down the aisle

everyday, I see another lovers who are meant to be
they look like a hope to believe in for me
but then again, a hope is just a daydream
dressed well, leaving so quick, like him

there I stood amidst the shimmering lights
faking another curve on my red lips last night
until I saw a familiar silhouette with a longing scent
slowly walking towards my walls of pretend

he was the one who got away with a piece of my heart
yet he managed to kiss me like we were never apart

I was denying my own heart
just like how the sun was hiding
behind the moon creating total eclipse
while I know he could taste every white
in the lie through my saliva when we kissed
and it's only a matter of time
until the wolf inside me cries
saying I'm in love with him

there, inside his eyes when he stare,
I saw the world that never exists
and when he laughs at my jokes,
I figured out that love has a sound

dream is the only place I have left
to meet you and laugh with you
so I'd rather sleep as long as I can
than staying awake and living life without you

point out my shame, I'm to blame
for I give away my heart easily
now I got nothing inside my chest
but negativity

habisnya seluruh suara
lenyap ditelan Samudra
bersembunyi di ujung lidahku
satu lautan cinta untuk kamu

ngga akan aku ucapkan
kamu ngga perlu tau

love is a myth, love is an illusion
love in the air creates pollution
I want to stop loving—I have to
cause everything I've ever loved left
just like you

I was a fool to even think
he can love me the second time
when he already failed
on his first

though he stares into my eyes
never he finds everything
he's looking for
in me

I wish he does
I wish he does

"you're pretty" he said
"I am aware of that" I answered

with my pretty face, I made him turn his
like he's under a spell, his eyes will follow mine
but I hope he'd see what hides deep inside;
look at my heavy luggage and help me unpack them
by then, I wonder if he'd still staring at me
and if he does, in return, I promise to treat him likewise

the only thing I keep losing
because I'm in love with you

sekarang ini, aku itu sedang bermimpi
ada sebuah wajah yang namanya aku amini
ditiap bisikan doa kepada bulan dan matahari
hingga seluruh semesta berhenti bernyanyi

aku bahagia lagi—kan sekarang ini ada kamu
yang mencintai aku tiap hari Minggu
jika benar ini mimpi, jangan bangunkan aku
karena aku butuh lebih banyak waktu

untuk memeluk tubuhmu lebih lama
untuk buatmu jatuh cinta dihari lainnya
dan
untuk membawa kamu ikut jadi nyata

even if I knew how this ends,
I'd still jump, I'd still fall
I'd still love you until I bawl
cause I swear
everything you are
is worth the repetition

you turned off your emotion
and shut the door at me

it doesn't shocked me that much
after all you were always hiding
away from the light of day

to tell the truth you scared me
cause it always seem like
you're ready to walk away
at any time when I'm off guard

so I never bother to knock your door
though I love you and I wish for more
there, I said it
I want you to take a peek
and say, "come inside"

at least I am keeping my promise
to stay away from you, aren't I?
it's been an entire month, my dear
and I have not stop counting
the days I waste without you
my love, don't you miss me too?
oh, trust me I've ran out of lies to tell
only a pair of eyes that swell
and all I can do is sleep in your shirt
crying your name until it doesn't hurt

her sanity lingers
cause she pours her insanity
by tainting her fingers
with ink and poetry

just like Groundhog Day
he's repeating the same warning;
the reasons of our undoing,
a parachute to keep us from falling

holding on to each other like braids
tiring day for both you and I fades
my hair was a set of obstacle
but you oddly looked like a miracle
boy you're so special
let me be your favorite gal
like that old cute spouse
like Minnie to Mickey mouse
I'm pathetically in love with you
now tell me a lie that sounds so true

but baby,
you don't need forever
to make me love you
cause I already do;
always have
always will be
so come back to me
you belong here
with me

he brushes
my hair
and I knead
like a cat

I quit smoking two months ago
because the smoke I inhale
smells a lot like your skin
and the taste of nicotine
got me addicted as much
as your tender lips
I quit smoking two months ago
not because I wanted to
but because I had to
move on from you

the devil knows how to play the game on me
out of all those guys, he chose you as the main pawn
what to expect when I was not expecting anything?
he surely trained you well, that I should've expected
you broke through my fortress without warning
just like our very first kiss on that rainy season
the next thing I know, your hand met my bra clasp
and I got no power left to argue but fall hard for you

two pairs of our ebony eyes
are locking deeply
and in that frozen time
I can feel the L word is ready
to jump out of our mouths
so I shut them up
by kissing him
many times

tomorrow I am leaving you
and it's fine, it's okay
but
tomorrow my eyes will open
not looking at your face anymore
and they will force my hands
to keep drying my wet cheeks
while my lips will stop speaking
any other word but your name
and my heart, my poor heart
will question everything
it ever felt about love
for all it ever known
love is everything you are

only I who has the right
to cry myself wearing your worn-out shirt
to drink away our sweet memories
to isolate my heart from happiness

only you who has the right
to open up my deepest part
to kiss away my sorrow
to return and fill in my hollow

he uses Monday to Saturday
to change the world
and uses a single Sunday
to change mine