It's the first snow during the last year you believe in Christmas magic,
It's the desire to watch the tornado form even though the storm is heavy,
It's 9 am on the first fall morning of your freshman year of high-school,
It's your favorite sweater fresh out of the dryer,
It's the warmth from your mug of coffee radiating to your palms at 5 am,
It's the last laugh at your first slumber party before you fall asleep,
It's the sun creeping over the trees,
It's the sound of your Playstation starting up after a 3 month hiatus,
It's Thursday,
It's orange sun rays warming my skin,
It's a thick navy blue university that you never went to sweater,
It's fuzzy slippers,
It's Holiday themed squishmallows,
It's potato soup that your mom makes on Sunday,
It's cookie dough ice cream at midnight,
It's a warm cinnamon roll in the morning,
It's the number 22,
It's the way that when I close my eyes all I think of is you.

You ask me to get dinner
So casually I almost didn't hear it
And the chemistry is there
And you're waiting for my yes
But all I do is stare
In my head he tells me to go
But my heart is screaming no

You asked me to get dinner
So casually I chose not to hear it
And the chemistry is there
And yeah we could be a match
But I wouldn't dare
In my head he tells me to go
But his heart is all I want to know

I don't give up
It's not in my nature
Even when it burns to hold

I don't give up
I ponder and wonder
If you're supposed to feel like home

I don't give up
I tend my wounds carefully
And return to fire once more

I don't give up
I wait around and prepare
For them to come back through the door

I don't give up
But maybe I should
It seems like they always do

I don't give up
Delusions fill my head
And my heart really still loves you

The world is awake
My eyelids are heavy
I make my coffee
But don't want to get ready
Another day without you
24 hours I'm dreading
I miss your sleepy good morning
But I know it's not happening

You brought me flowers
But what does it mean?
I can ponder for hours
But I still want you to leave

And this wine is my favorite
I'm surprised you remembered,
I don't know what you expect of it
The man I once loved, you almost resembled

But you haven't been him for a long while
And I know you'll never be him again
Sure, these gestures make me smile
But to say I still love you would be pretend

Would the glass still have shattered had you not used it for wine?

Would the blanket still have caught fire had you not lit a cigarette?

Would your rent still be late had you not went to the casino?

Would I still have this pit in my stomach had you never said hello?

I'll write you a letter
That you'll never see,
I hope to feel better,
Go back to being me

My essence written down on paper
Ever so eloquently described,
Feelings I can always read later,
Written there forever this time.

A constant reminder of the love you once felt,
I can always go back and feel it,
Rereading them continues to make my heart melt,
But my soul knows this isn't realistic.

Ever so deeply that you were in love
But now you cannot feel the same,
I felt it, I'm READING it, I'll take all the blame!
Please,
             Come back to me again

Can you say my name one more time?
Softly, like the fog in the early morning
I just want to see if it still gives me goosebumps
Can you tell me my favorite color?
Quietly, like nighttime rain
I just want to remember how it felt to be remembered

I don't know where she went
But she took the silliest things with her
The glimmer in my eyes,
The giggles from excitement,
The rose tint from my cheeks,

I don't know where she went
But she took the wildest things with her
The amber glow I viewed you in,
The flutter in my heart when you said my name,
The peace I felt in your presence,

I don't know where she went
But the things that she left?
The lack of trust for people,
The fear of getting close?
I'll hold them tight until she returns

I cannot pour myself into you,
And expect to receive myself back
I cannot pour myself into you,
If you are not there anymore
I cannot pour myself into you,
And for the next 12 hours I won't
I cannot pour myself into you,
But I want to

Everywhere I look for you
I find you
Pull you out of thin air
Bringing you back to me
In all my activities
I find you
A username on a screen
A fleck of purple where it shouldn't be
Your phrases through strangers lips
In and out my heart while it beats

I can't tell if you're the
Oxygen
Sustaining my life
Or maybe you're the
Carbon
Trying to take it